Caleb hesitated. Ethan’s offer from the other night, to attend the wedding with him, suddenly seemed like a much more attractive prospect. He’d been wary in the first place, afraid that if he was forced to pretend to be romantically attached to Ethan that he’d give away the huge, pointless crush he’d had on him for years.
That, he was pretty sure, would ruin their friendship. Ethan was cool about basically everything, and definitely one of the good guys when it came to Caleb being gay, but he was painfully straight himself. Secretly wanting to bang someone was the kind of thing that made people uncomfortable when it came out.
Ethan was really the only friend Caleb had, and in a profession where a significant percentage of the people involved were on the homophobic end of the spectrum, he needed all the friends he could get. He knew Ethan had shielded him from plenty of crap before now. He couldn’t afford to lose that, even if Ethan himself hadn’t meant so much to him.
On the other hand, Ethan was offering to shield him again. And Caleb really, really wanted to accept, because he wasn’t sure he could handle it alone.
“How do you feel about a free Hawaiian vacation?” Caleb asked. He still wasn’t completely sold on it himself, but there was no reason they couldn’t pull this off. He’d been keeping his feelings a secret for years, he could handle keeping them secret for another few days. He wasn’t suddenly going to turn into an idiot just because he was away from home.
“I thought you wanted to go it alone?” Ethan sipped his own coffee. “But uh, yeah, absolutely, sign me the hell up. Offer’s still open.”
Caleb breathed a sigh of relief. A knot he hadn’t been aware of in his stomach gave way, leaving him feeling better than he had all week. This was clearly the right decision. He was way more nervous about the possibility of going to the wedding alone—and being maybe the only single person there—than he was about the possibility of accidentally hitting on Ethan.
He’d never accidentally hit on Ethan before, so it was a stupid thing to worry about.
“Okay. Okay, good. So I can tell my sister my boyfriend’s name is Ethan? And that he’s really cute and funny and everyone’s going to love him?”
“I’m cute?” Ethan asked, his face lighting up.
Caleb swallowed. Less than a minute after assuring himself that he wouldn’t screw up, he’d screwed up. It wasn’t unsalvageable, though, and it was still less terrifying than his family’s silent judgement of his love life. “Well, I have to tell my family I think you’re cute.”
Ethan’s face fell. The knot in Caleb’s stomach came back, this time out of guilt.
“And speaking objectively, you are cute,” he said. “I would totally make out with you if you were into guys.”
Caleb wished he could swallow the words back the moment they were out, but Ethan didn’t look shocked or upset. He looked pleased with himself, a tiny smirk turning up the corner of his lips.
Ethan was cute, in a totally approachable way. He was your attractive neighbor, or the nice barista who always remembered your name and order in your regular coffee shop. His smile was bright enough to light up a room, his laugh was one of Caleb’s favorite sounds, and all of his features were average, but well-balanced and nice to look at. He had puppy eyes that could get him out of a murder charge, too.
Caleb would have been thrilled to make out with him, but Ethan didn’t need to know he was serious about that.
“Maybe I should go gay,” Ethan said, still smiling to himself. “Might have better luck.”
“Experience tells me that hookups with guys are easier, but relationships are harder. I mean. That also might just be me, and I’ve never actually tried to have a relationship with a woman.”
“But you have hooked up?” Ethan asked.
Caleb’s cheeks burned. “Once or twice. Just drunken makeouts. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t like it either. Which is how I know I’m definitely gay.”
“Huh. I assumed it was one of those kind of things you just… knew about yourself, somehow.”
Caleb shrugged. “I suppose some people do. I had to experiment to really drive the point home. Everyone’s different.”
Ethan hummed, and then sipped his coffee again. “So I guess I gotta buy something I can swim in.”
A brief flash of Ethan in tiny swimming trunks forced its way into the front of Caleb’s mind, leaving him blushing. He sipped his coffee in an attempt to hide it. He’d never seen Ethan in anything more revealing than a baggy t-shirt and calf-length shorts, so he had no idea what to expect, but his brain had apparently decided that Ethan was an underwear model under his jeans and comfortable hoodies.
He might have been, for all Caleb knew. In any case, that was the image he was stuck with now.
“I guess you do. Thank you,” Caleb said, feeling himself blush again. It was nice to have someone willing to do things like this for him.
“No problem. If I had to have a boyfriend, you’d be my first choice.”
Caleb laughed, though his stomach flipped over at the thought. Ethan didn’t know how he felt, so it was definitely a joke, but it wasn’t helping the situation at all. Still, he’d committed now, and it was too late to back out. Especially on the grounds that he was way too pleased about the whole situation.
Now that it was going to happen, the idea of getting to pretend to be Ethan’s boyfriend was exciting. Caleb would never meet a man as perfect as Ethan, and they definitely wouldn’t want him if he did. How many people would offer to do something like this, even for their best friend? It was one thing to take a friend to your high school reunion or something, but this was a much bigger deal.
He just hoped Ethan understood that and was going in with both eyes open, because he’d get a shock if he hadn’t realized how intense this was going to be. That was also the kind of thing that ruined friendships.
Ethan was smart, though. He’d know what he was getting himself into.
“Yeah, well. I’ve had lots of boyfriends, and you’d beat the hell out of any of them. My family might actually think I’ve done okay with you.”
“Just okay?” Ethan raised an eyebrow. “Because I’m pretty sure I’m a real catch.”
“There’s that humility again. You should be more confident in yourself.” Caleb rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help smiling. Ethan had no idea what a catch he was, and almost never approached girls he was clearly interested in. It was a shame, because he deserved to be happy.
“I’m gonna let you get back to work,” Ethan said, pushing himself off the desk and standing. “Send me, like, details and stuff in an email so I don’t forget any of it. And get ready to be the envy of everyone at the wedding.”
“I’ll send you the details and tell my sister you’re coming. Seriously, thank you for this.”
“Hey, no problem.” Ethan grinned. “Drink your coffee. Tell your sister. Then chill out.”
“Will do,” Caleb promised as Ethan walked away. He opened his sister’s email again and hit reply, smiling to himself as he typed his name is Ethan, and he’s perfect in response.
Just this one time, he was going to be with someone who he’d actually want to bring home to his family. He almost couldn’t wait.
Chapter Three
Ethan fiddled with his seatbelt for what felt like the thousandth time, unable to stop himself. His stomach was in knots, his heart beating at what felt like a thousand miles an hour. This had been a bad idea. He hadn’t thought it through at all.
“Hey, are you okay?” Caleb asked.
Ethan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He hadn’t wanted Caleb to notice his discomfort, but now that he had, all he could do was tell the truth. “Now would be a bad time to mention that I’m scared of flying, huh?”
“It’s a little late to back out,” Caleb said. They were already rolling along the tarmac, so he wasn’t wrong about that.
“Yeah.” Ethan shifted in his seat. His palms were sweating, his mouth dry. He couldn’t handle minutes more of this,
let alone hours, but he didn’t have any other choice.
“Here.” Caleb held out his hand. “Squeeze as tight as you want.”
Ethan hesitated for a second, but then took Caleb’s hand gratefully. As soon as Caleb’s fingers curled around his, he felt a little better. The worst of the tension in his shoulders eased, and his stomach settled to a dull ache instead of making him feel as though he was about to throw up.
Caleb dug through his carry-on bag with his free hand, and pulled a packet of Skittles out of it. He dropped them in Ethan’s lap.
“Grab a few of those and suck on them while we take off. Don’t chew, just suck. It’ll help with your ears.”
Ethan nodded, happy to take Caleb’s word for that. If nothing else, getting the bag open with one hand and his teeth was a good distraction. He could have used his other hand, but he didn’t want to give up the comfort of holding onto Caleb.
He felt like a complete baby over it, but he’d never had to fly before. He’d driven or taken buses and trains everywhere he’d needed to go. He’d gone out of his way to avoid ending up on a plane.
Ethan gritted his teeth as he felt the plane taking off, and barely managed to get a few candies into his mouth before handing the bag back to Caleb. He knew he was squeezing Caleb’s hand too tightly. He was probably starting to hurt him, but he couldn’t bring himself to ease off. He needed the grip he had on Caleb’s hand more than he needed air right now.
Caleb squeezed back briefly, which Ethan took to mean it was okay. He’d be fine once they were levelled out and in the air.
At least, he hoped he would. If his heart started beating any faster, he was sure it’d give up on him. Ethan closed his eyes and tried to shut out the roaring of the plane, focusing instead on the way Caleb’s thumb was stroking the back of his hand. That helped.
His ears popped despite Caleb’s advice, but they cleared a moment later as he kept sucking. Ethan kept his eyes closed until he heard the chime that told him he could take his seatbelt off. He unclipped it immediately, relieved that it wasn’t pressing into his stomach anymore.
Caleb didn’t take his hand back, though. He just let Ethan keep holding it.
“Better, or do you need a couple of sleeping pills?” Caleb asked after a few moments. “I didn’t want you trying to take them while we took off.”
“Umm.” Ethan considered his options, and decided that he’d be fine now until they landed. “No, it’s okay. I wanna be awake and alert when I meet your family.”
“They would totally understand if you weren’t. I don’t want you suffering for me. You’re already doing me a huge favor.”
Ethan shook his head. “It’s fine. I’ll cope. But maybe on the way home. Thanks for letting me hold your hand.”
“Anytime.” Caleb smiled at him.
“Yeah, well. If I’m scared again, I’ll let you know.”
“You should have told me you were scared of flying. We could have figured out a plan or something.”
Ethan sighed. “I didn’t want you to think I was a baby.”
“I don’t,” Caleb said. “Not for a minute.”
“Yeah, I know. I was being stupid.” Ethan cleared his throat. He just hadn’t wanted Caleb to think any less off him, despite knowing that Caleb would never have judged him for something like this. “So, tell me about our itinerary?”
Taking his mind off the fact that he was thousands of feet in the air seemed like Ethan’s best option for not panicking his way through the whole flight. He couldn’t rely on Caleb’s hand the whole time, even though he really, really wanted to. Not that he was about to let go of it just yet.
Caleb laughed nervously. “Now there’s something to be scared of. Tonight we’re having a fancy cocktail party to bring both families together and get to know each other. I’m going to have a headache about an hour in and have to excuse myself, and you’re going to come tend to me like the perfect doting boyfriend you are.”
“Sounds good. How about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow is blissfully family-free. I think my sister knows there’d be a murder if she made us hang out for a whole week, so there are a few gaps in the schedule. That night is the bachelorette party, then the wedding rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner are the next day, which will serve as a kind of window into the horrible future that is the actual wedding.”
“But hey, free dinner,” Ethan said, trying to look on the bright side for Caleb’s sake. He knew that Caleb’s family were exhausting to him. Hopefully he’d be able to help with that a little.
“True. Twenty bucks says one of my sister’s friends gets drunk and tries to kiss me at the bachelorette party.”
“They know you’re gay though, right?” Ethan said, surprised by how sure Caleb sounded.
“Sure, but they’re all positive they’re so attractive they’ll turn me. Trust me, you’ll see.”
“I’ll take the bet. You’re not that irresistible.”
“Implying that I am at least slightly irresistible.” Caleb smirked. “Then, uh…” he pulled out his phone and tapped on it a few times. “More stuff. Family events. Kinda looks the same all the way to the wedding, to be honest. Then we get a day to recover before we fly home, because I figured we’d need it. Also because I figured weddings put people in the mood and Matt might have wanted me at the end of it all.”
Ethan winced internally at the reminder of why he was here. He was still mad at Matt over cheating on Caleb. He’d never really liked him in the first place, but he never said anything about Caleb’s boyfriends. They weren’t his boyfriends, after all, and he didn’t think it was his place.
His place was being there when Caleb broke up with one of them. Ethan was cool with that. He didn’t like seeing Caleb in pain, but he did like being able to support him.
He seemed less upset about Matt than Ethan had expected. Based on what he’d just said, Ethan figured they’d been having problems for a while. Caleb was probably just trying to keep it together until after the wedding.
“I’ll email you the schedule Olivia sent me,” Caleb said after a few moments of silence. “So we’re both on the same page. But you don’t have to come along to anything. You can be super busy with work or whatever if you want.”
Ethan shook his head. “Nuh uh. The trade is that I get a free vacation, but in exchange you get someone to hang out with at all these events you don’t wanna go to. I’m not bailing on you.”
Caleb smiled a tiny smile at that. “Thanks. Seriously. You’re way more dependable than a real boyfriend.”
“That’s because I’m awesome,” Ethan said. He realized a moment later that he was still holding Caleb’s hand, and let go of it. For just a moment, he missed the contact, but brushed it off. He was just still a little nervous about flying, but he couldn’t hang onto Caleb’s hand for the whole flight.
Not that Caleb wouldn’t have let him. Ethan was certain he would have. Just that it seemed like something he shouldn’t do.
He pulled up the schedule Caleb had emailed to him and scrolled through it. One particular event caught his eye. “What’s a mystery tour, and why does it start at 3am?”
“It’s a mystery,” Caleb said. “That’s why they call it that.”
“So you don’t actually know? It’s not just a mystery for the non-family guests?”
“I think it’s a mystery for everyone. We can skip it if you want. I get sick on vacation all the time, always have.”
“We’ll skip whatever you wanna skip, but not too much. Your sister’s only having an extravagant destination wedding once, y’know?”
Caleb snorted. “I know. Even if she gets divorced, we’re never doing this again.”
“So you should make the most of it. I know you love her, even if she is being a total pain in the ass right now. She’ll appreciate the support.”
“Jesus, you are the perfect boyfriend.” Caleb stared at him. “My family are going to love you.”
Ethan grinned. “That’s what I’m here
for.”
Caleb ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I know. You’re keeping me sane, here. I owe you one after this.”
“You can buy me dinner when we get back.” Ethan shrugged. “It’s actually no big deal.”
“You say that now.” Caleb smiled wryly, playing with his phone again. “I’m gonna nap for a while,” he said, digging earbuds out of his pocket. “If you need anything, just wake me. Or if you decide you need sleeping pills or painkillers, just take them out of my bag. They’re in the front pocket.”
“Will do,” Ethan said. “Sweet dreams.”
Caleb hummed as he put his earbuds in, wriggling in his seat to get comfortable and closing his eyes. Ethan watched him for a moment before he realized he was staring, and turned to look out the plane window. The schedule actually looked fun, and there was plenty of time for them to do their own thing if they wanted. Aside from the flying part, this wasn’t the worst idea he’d ever had.
Chapter Four
“I’m sorry again about the bed. I really thought there’d be a couch or something in the room,” Caleb shouted toward the bathroom, buttoning up his shirt. They had to be downstairs in ten minutes, and he wasn’t finished dressing yet. He hated wearing suits. Suits felt to him like he imagined straight-jackets felt to other people. Besides, it was too hot for a suit. What kind of sadist had a formal wedding in Hawaii?
His sister did, he supposed. Caleb imagined the idea had started out as casual, but pressure from both sides of the family had turned it into something bigger. Bigger and more formal, but still outdoors.
The room was nice—everything he expected from a decent hotel in a warm climate, right down to the neutral-toned walls, the painting of a palm tree that featured on the wall opposite the bed, and the big windows with a view out to the ocean. What Caleb hadn’t expected was that instead of a couch, there were armchairs. He’d intended to give Ethan the bed to himself, since he was asking a lot of him this weekend, and if either of them would fit comfortably on a couch, it was him.
The Wedding Date Page 2