“Why do you want to share an apartment with me?” I blurted without thinking and smacked my hand over my mouth, praying the words would fly back in, unheard and forgotten.
That wasn’t the question I was expecting first, but from what I have gotten to know about Emily, she likes to know the facts sooner rather than later. I should have told her about the proposed idea over the last few days, but I selfishly wanted some time to get to know her before she had to deal with the possibility of choosing to live alone or having me as a roommate. It was time for me to lay my heart on the line and tell Emily how I felt about her.
Taking her fidgeting hands into mine, I slowly stroked the back of each as I looked into her eyes. “Why wouldn’t I want to live with you? You’re smart, beautiful, funny, and from what I understand, probably able to kick my ass in a fight.” I joked, trying to defuse the tension.
“Please be serious for a minute, Josh. I don’t understand what is happening between us. To find out you sold your house to my brother and Caroline and want to buy an apartment in my building or even possibly be a… please… help me understand what exactly you want here. I’m not good at deciphering all this chaos and I trust you to be honest with me.” She explained as she took her hands from mine, making me ache to touch her again.
“I saw what was happening between you and Andrew, and I saw a solution to a problem that neither one of you was willing to look at. You wanted to do right by the new family, but you forget, you are Andrew’s family too. My family too.” I gently reached over and took her hands into mine again, my heart rate slowing down now that I was able to feel her touch again. “My house was too big and the money I made could be spent on an apartment in the building, something closer to work. A home closer to you. I want to be a part of your life, Emily. However you allow it.”
“But sharing an apartment, what would that mean for us? I don’t, I’m…”
“It means that if you are comfortable, I will have one bedroom and you will have the other and there are zero expectations between us. I want to get to know you, to spend time with you, and Jake spends so much time alone. Since half of your classes are online, I thought y’all would be great company for each other when I work and travel.” I reasoned with her, hoping she would see that this is the best way for us to grow our relationship at a pace that she would set and be comfortable with.
“Can I be honest with you?” she asked, taking her hands away again and crossing them around her body like a shield. Seeing the defensive posture, I worried I may be seeing more between us than was really there.
Please don’t let her tell me she doesn’t feel the earth move every time we touch.
“Always. Just as I am with you. I never want secrets between us.”
“I like the idea of sharing an apartment with you, but I don’t think I could share an apartment with you and watch you bringing women over. It’s not something I can handle and if that is a problem for you, maybe it’s better if you buy the other unit.” She spat the words at me like I had been with another woman recently.
I could feel my eyebrows drawing together in a confused manner, trying to figure out what she meant by that statement and then reality dawned on me. Emily’s jealous.
A small laugh escaped me, and she pushed her chair back and began to rise from her seat, about to leave. I gently grabbed her wrist, conscious of the steel rod that was inside, hidden below the beautiful tattoo she displayed with pride.
“I’m not laughing at you, Emily. I just realized you are as jealous at the thought of someone touching me as I am about someone touching you.” Her eyes tracked to mine and I gently rubbed the scar, hidden under the ink. “I haven’t been with anyone in over a year. Months before I met you was the last date I had and if I have my way, I’ll never worry about dating again. Please, sit down so we can talk. Please!” I implored her.
She returned to her seat as the waitress brought our dinner and as we slowly began to eat, I continued. “I like you, Emily…more than you realize… and I just want to be around you. The first time I held you in my arms, I knew you were it for me. No one else could compare to the perfection I see when I look at you. I realize you have hurdles you are still trying to deal with and I’m a patient man. I will wait for you forever if you give me the chance. I am not asking to share a bed with you, or even a room. I think you need your space to adapt to the changes and sharing a room is a step I don’t think we are ready for yet.”
“So, what are we, roommates, friends?” She stressed the words like they held the meaning to life and existence.
“I would love to be able to call you my girlfriend but only when you are comfortable with that. Until then, we can be friends, roommates, and co-cuddlers to Jake.” I took her hands again, brought them to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on each. “I’ll take whatever part of yourself you are willing to give me, Emily. I will never push or demand more than you can provide. Never.”
“What if…” she collected herself and started again, “What if I can’t give you that part of me? What if I’m never able to give you that part of me?” Tears filled her eyes.
I released one of her hands and placed my hand on her face, gently caressing her, wiping away the tears that had fallen. “Then you never have to give it to me. I’ll still be here, standing beside you, loving you.” I whispered before leaning in and gently kissing her.
She put her small hand on my cheek and brought her forehead to mine, whispering so low I could barely hear her words, “I want to try, but I’m scared.”
“Are you scared of me?”
She shook her head and looked directly into my eyes, her words loud and true, “I’ve never felt safer with anyone in my life.”
Leaning back in my chair, breaking the contact we had, I smiled and kissed her hands again. “So, what do you say? Do you think this is something you want to try?”
Once again, she nodded her head, this time, her mega-watt smile shined brightly. “Let’s do it!”
Elated with the news, I stood from my chair, threw some money on the table, and took Emily’s hand in mine as I lead her out of the restaurant. I was walking fast, and she was almost jogging to keep up with my long stride.
“Josh, where are we going?” Emily asked as we finally got to my Jeep and I leaned back against it, gently pulling her small body into mine.
I hugged her, sweeping her off her feet in my cloud of happiness. “You just agreed to be mine! I think we should move my Jeep to the lot at our building and walk over to the park. I want to take my girlfriend to ride on the Ferris wheel at the park to celebrate.”
“Girlfriend? I like the way that sounds.” She stretched up on her tiptoes to kiss me. I had to lean down so she and I could connect, but the moment her lips touched mine I knew this was the right decision. Emily and I were meant to be together, and today was the first small step toward our forever.
I kept the kiss simple and sweet, not wanting anyone to see Emily in a compromising position. I pulled her into another quick hug, then shifted so I could open the passenger’s door and make sure she was buckled into the Jeep before I went around and let myself in. The drive back to our apartment took about ten minutes and I kept looking over at her with a silly smile on my face as we inched slowly with traffic, the couple of blocks back home.
Home.
After securing the car, we walked hand in hand toward Centennial Park, weaving through the crowds of tourists and locals who were enjoying the park on a beautiful fall evening. I made sure to keep a tight grip on Emily’s hand as we made our way to the Ferris wheel and I paid for our tickets.
Sitting in the seat, we slowly made our rotation in the giant wheel, gaining a view of the city that makes you appreciate the green spaces that Atlanta is known for. The city is large but there are still trees and grass, fresh air, and sunshine, to let you know that you are still in the beautiful South.
When we reached the top, the wheel slowed to a stop as the sun was beginning to set over the city, a slight b
reeze blowing, the night slowly beginning to envelop us in its darkness. I reached over, pushed her long brown hair off her shoulder and turned her face toward mine. The gaze she gave me let me know she was in the moment, and I found myself lost in her eyes.
Leaning down, I slowly kissed her, my hand wrapped around her neck, as I stroked her beautiful face. She surprised me with the feeling of her small tongue darting out to lick my lips, a groan broke free as I responded with my tongue and slowly made love to her mouth.
The kiss began to grow hotter and I was beginning to grow hard as the wheel slowly made the rest of its rotation. I pulled back and kissed her forehead as she let out a content sigh and snuggled into my arm, her head leaning on me and our hands intertwined. The ride was over faster than I would have liked as we gave up our seats to waiting riders. We began walking into the park, observing the booths set up, people selling their goods and wares.
I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket as we found a bench and sat down to watch the people wandering around, having fun, and making memories. Taking it out and looking at the screen, I saw that it was Jason.
Strange for him to be calling me on a Friday night, I immediately began to worry that something was wrong with Maddie or James. “Jason, is everything okay?” I asked instead of the regular hello greeting I should have done. Emily looked up at me with a worried expression. I kissed her gently and stood up, walking a few feet away from her, always keeping her in my direct line of site.
“Josh. Everything is fine. I just talked to Caroline and Maddie on a conference call, they told me the proposed idea and I wanted to see what decisions had been made as far as Emily was concerned.” He vaguely replied.
“What is really going on Jason? This is the second time in a few days that you have inquired about her and her well-being. What do you know that I don’t” I asked him in a low tone but directly to the point. Jason was a straight shooter like I was and that was one reason we got along so well. “If there is something going on that I need to know about where she is concerned, tell me now.” The gruffness in my tone leaving no room for error
If there is a threat against her, I will kill whoever is trying to hurt her.
A sigh came through the line and I knew he had something on his mind he was hoping I wouldn’t pick up on. “Can you meet me for breakfast tomorrow? She is safe, and I promise I will do anything and everything to keep her that way. I… I just worry about her and I have a feeling that, well…I don’t know exactly what. I know I’m not making any sense right now, but maybe you can understand after we talk.”
“When and where?” I asked, not needing anything more. If he knew something or was having a gut feeling, I needed to flush it out and find out what was happening.
“Eight in the morning. Bagel and Brew on Peachtree North. Can you make it?”
“I’ll see you then.” I disconnected the call and made my way back to her.
“Are you ready to head home? I think we should tell Andrew and Caroline what you decided.” I explained, trying to keep my tone even and happy, not wanting her to know I was now scanning the face of everyone here, looking for threats against her.
We made it back to the apartment without incident and I began to think Jason’s paranoia had started to wear off on me. Riding the elevator up, I pulled her small hand up to my lips and gave her another kiss before we went to explain our new budding relationship to her family. I refused to hide what we were and where we were headed from them. I wanted them to know from the start that she is mine and I will do anything to make her happy and ensure she is protected.
I woke up the next morning and made my way to the gym for a shortened workout. I needed to burn off some of the frustration and nervous energy I had about meeting Jason this morning. He knew something regarding Emily and I was determined to find out everything I can to ensure her safety and well-being.
I arrived at the coffee house about fifteen minutes prior to my scheduled meeting only to find Jason already in line, having ordered two coffees and bagels for us. I walked up and patted him on the back, “Good morning Jason.”
“Good morning Josh. I ordered you something to eat but feel free to change it if you want something specific.” He opened his wallet and made a movement to pay.
“Whatever you ordered is fine. I’ll find us a seat.” I began walking toward the back of the empty coffee shop, hoping to have some privacy for a discussion that I could tell was weighing heavily on Jason.
My thoughts begin to wander while he waited for our order. He was worried about her safety, as we all were, but his concern over her and me was what was bothering me. He could easily ask Caroline or Maddie what is going on with her, but he continues to come to me for updates. Seeing him talk to her at the hospital now seems even more confusing. I’m letting my imagination run wild and I need to rein in my temper.
Jason sits down with our tray of breakfast and I thank him before taking a much needed swallow of hot coffee. I hadn’t slept much last night and I needed the caffeine to keep my thoughts straight.
“How did the conversation go with Andrew and Caroline last night? What did you and Emily decide? Are you moving in or are you buying in the building?” Jason asked while I placed my coffee down and folded my hands together.
“Jason, whatever is going on, I need you to tell me. I have a feeling you are the holder of more knowledge than you let on to and if it has anything to do with Emily, I demand to know.” My tone was deeper than I had intended. Jason was here to help and I was allowing my feelings for Emily to run my emotions.
“I, well… Damn it! Okay, I’ll tell you everything I know and you can decide how we proceed. I’m guessing that you and Emily have decided to share an apartment?”
“We talked last night and I am taking Andrew and Caroline’s old room.”
“That’s great. I know you two are meant to be together. I saw that day at Lucas’s lake house when we had the big family cookout. You look at her like I use to look at Sara, so I knew that eventually you would figure out how to make her yours.”
“Jason, please get to the point. I’m not trying to be rude but I’m going out of my mind with worry that something or someone is trying to hurt her and I need to know she is okay.” I explained, my hands catching my head as I leaned on the table, willing my anger to settle down.
“How much do you know about what happened to her?” I snapped my head up and glared at him.
“Too much and hardly anything at the same time. Why? What does what she endured have to do with anything? That bastard is in jail and should be there another eight to eleven years from what Andrew briefly shared.” I didn’t want to discuss what my beautiful Emily had to live through.
“When I found out what happened, after they moved back to Georgia, I got my lawyers to look into everything.” He paused to look at me before continuing, “I didn’t want the details, I wanted to make sure that bastard got everything he deserves for what he did to that sweet girl. Has Andrew ever discussed what happened?”
I shook my head. Andrew still blamed himself for what happened to Emily. The last thing I ever wanted to do was bring it up and upset him.
“That makes sense. He still thinks he could have stopped what happened. Hopefully, one day, he will forgive himself. Emily’s parents moved them just a few weeks after the attack. They probably tried to keep him as far away from the court proceedings as possible and since Emily never had to testify, he wouldn’t know anything other than the sentence is my guess.” His voice going lower as the coffee shop began to have more customers coming in for their breakfast. “From the report I saw, the guy was caught because Andrew memorized his license plate number and when they stopped him and searched his vehicle, they found…” He looked down and discreetly wiped his eyes before he went on, “They found blood and hair that they were able to match to the samples they took from her at the hospital. They matched DNA from her to him and he had defensive wounds on his face that matched the tissue under her nails. She fought
hard and from the report, it says he threw her out of the car and drove off, hoping to make a clean getaway. The good thing about a small town, is there are only so many ways out, so he was apprehended and confessed to everything. He was sentenced a few months after the attack and has been serving his sentence peacefully until a couple of months ago.”
I felt the anger roared to life inside of me. Resisting the urge to punch something, I calmed myself enough to speak. “What changed a few months ago?”
“He was the black sheep of a wealthy family in Texas. He had a history of substance abuse and violent actions that his parents were able to keep swept under the rug in their tiny Texas town. They had been estranged, and when his parents found out about his incarceration earlier this year, they began to challenge the legal proceedings. They are trying to get his conviction overturned so that he can gain a new trial. They are saying the search was unlawful and have sent an appeal through the court system to have all the evidence thrown out. I have my lawyers fighting everything that they throw at them but I’m afraid a judge might grant the motion and if that’s the case, he may be free pending a new trial. If it goes to trial with no physical evidence, it’s a matter of he said/she said.”
“He said/she said?! She says nothing because she is so severely scarred, both mentally and physically over what he did to her. How can this happen, Jason? Can this piece of shit actually get a new trial?”
“He can if the appeal court agrees with the motions presented to them. The only way to ensure he stays in jail is for…”
“For her to testify in open court. Right?” I spat, sensing Emily isn’t strong enough to face the man who destroyed her sense of safety and shattered her innocence.
“Yes, or provide a detailed description, a victim impact statement to the judge overseeing his appeal but I am doing everything in my power to stop that from happening. I don’t want to talk to Andrew and Caroline about it since they just brought the baby home yesterday. Same with Maddie and Lucas. I wanted you to know and I needed to make sure that Emily is safe in case he is allowed to leave jail awaiting trial. I have found out he will have to wear an ankle monitor and stay within the specific county he is released into and that’s what has me nervous, I guess. I don’t want Emily to find out about his release unless it is absolutely necessary. I know you love her Josh and I know from personal experience that you are willing to do anything for the woman you love. I wanted you to have the information I have so that you can be better prepared for what may come at her.”
The Soul That Redeems Me (The Forever Mine Series Book 3) Page 6