She nodded her head, “Yeah, I guess it was probably him watching the building or something. I got this creeped-out feeling when we were finishing up with his walk.” She gave a small shrug of her shoulders.
Not wanting her to worry needlessly, I shelved that fact for a later phone call and moved forward with her emotional declaration.
“You dealt with a lot tonight, so I don’t want to upset you further, but what you are going through… it’s normal. The feeling that you should have been in better control of your emotions to make smarter, quicker, and more efficient decisions in a crisis? Nothing about you is stupid and I have no doubt that you are able to defend yourself…if the circumstances required you to. Everyone is different and if you hadn’t had endured what you did, there is still no guarantee you wouldn’t still be as upset with yourself or as scared in the moment.
“This is your anxiety telling you that you aren’t good enough when you are more than any of us deserve. Don’t let it win, Emily. Stand up and realize you made the smartest decision tonight you could have made. You knew there was a threat, and when you saw him, you got yourself and Jake to a safe place.
“You called me after you had observed the situation and already secured yourself in the panic room. That, to me, is the smartest thing you could have done. You don’t have to face down a challenge if there is a chance to leave…to go somewhere safer.”
With a gentle kiss on her forehead, I finished, “I would have done the same thing. Waking up to someone trying to beat down the door, I would have hidden then called for help. And you brought your guard dog with you,” I joked, as I ruffled the fur on Jake’s head and his ears perked up at the first signs of Emily’s happiness.
“Well, it is all about Jake and his comfort!” she joked as we stood up and I pulled her into another hug, needing her body against mine. When I heard she was hiding from someone trying to get into the apartment, my heart dropped into my feet and old, familiar rage started to fill the void.
I would kill anyone who tried to touch Emily. She is mine and I am hers and no one will ever keep up apart. I pulled back from the embrace and offered her a smile and, I hoped, a welcome distraction from the chaos of the evening.
“Why don’t you take a shower and freshen up while I call and order us some burgers and fresh cut fries from the Flame Lick. I’ll even have them bring us some milkshakes and pie so we can talk about how excited I am that you decided to take some time off and travel with me. Tonight, my beautiful Emily, we make a life list for you and we are going to get started on checking them off. One.” Kiss. “By one.” Kiss. “By one.” Kiss.
Her radiant smile caused my heart to flutter as she raised up on her tip toes and I leaned down so she could give me a kiss before she and Jake disappeared into her bedroom. I laughed when she tried to keep him out of the bathroom and he whined and pawed at the door until she opened it and ushered him into the small room.
“Lucky fucking dog,” I laughed as I ordered us some food and went to change out of my work clothes.
Even though I don’t work in a suit and tie like Lucas and Jason doesn’t mean I looked like a slacker while I am working. My fully tattooed arms are visible with my dress shirt, the collar barely covering my chest piece. Luckily, the business world is slowly changing its views on tattoos and piercings, and my role in MSJ Media allows me much more freedom than most of its staff.
I’m sure that’s because of my relationship with Maddie and Caroline, and for them, I am forever thankful. I met them at a time in my life where I was getting ready to graduate college and was desperately trying to find my footing in the world. I had a good adolescence, but my childhood years were still a burden to certain parts of my life. Those two women showed me the true meaning of family, and all these years later, they brought me to my soul mate.
Emily and Jake returned, and she looked beautiful with her brown hair piled on top of her head in a messy bun and her face looking refreshed. Jake was following behind her, not getting more than a few feet from her as they made their way back to the couch, and she curled up against my chest as we sat and petted Jake.
“I need to get him a steak for keeping you safe.” I laughed, hoping to lighten her mood and get her excited about the adventures I was about to take her on.
I had an idea of a place I want to take her, a vacation from the impending cold and a welcomed break from the stress we had all been under. Having her by my side, as much as can I have her, will help calm me a little, but I need to get her to the gym with Andrew tomorrow and get her back into karate training. She is more confident when she is able to channel her aggravation and aggression and her brother is the perfect person to help her with this stumbling block.
My cell phone rang from the night doorman downstairs letting me know our food had arrived. I told him I would be right down and kissed Emily on the head before I grabbed my phone and headed to the elevator. I sent a quick text to Andrew first.
J: I think getting Emily back into training with you might be a good idea.
A: I think that is a great idea. How is she?
J: Angry, confused, a little sad but she is starting to perk up. I’m going to the lobby to grab our dinner. I’ll text tomorrow. Give my love to Caroline and Lillian.
A: Will do. Send my love to Emily. Thank you, Josh.
Quickly, I walked out of the elevator and paid for our meal, letting the doorman know not to let anyone up that wasn’t on the approved list. I intend to find out how that drunk got into the building in the first place and if this building can’t keep her secure, I’ll move us somewhere that will!
Getting back on the elevator, I fired off a quick text to Jason as I hit a few random floors to slow my ascent. I needed to make sure we were on the same page before I returned to Emily. For the rest of the night, I wanted her to be happy and make a life list that fills all of her desires and dreams. I want to show her the world.
J: We need to talk in the morning. I am coming in long enough to finish what I was in the middle of tonight and then I’m turning everything over to Marcus to complete. I don’t want to be away from her for too long for a while.
Jason: Is everything okay?
J: She said she felt like she was being watched earlier before the incident with the drunk. I want to check into it and make sure it was him and not another threat.
Jason: 9 in my office
J: See you then.
I put my phone away as I unlocked the door and was greeted by both Emily and Jake when I walked in. They both appeared to be in better spirits than when I left a few minutes ago and I inquired about the sudden change.
“You seem happy. What’s different?”
“I feel so much better after telling you about not going back to school. I’m surprised Andrew didn’t lose his head over it but I think having Lillian has calmed him down considerably. I was expecting a fight and I’m shocked that everyone is so supportive. I guess I’m just excited about the future, for the first time ever!” she explained, a small bounce in her step showing me she was bursting at the seams with nervous energy.
I placed the food down and quickly picked her up and spun her around while she laughed and giggled, the sweet sound music-like to my ears. I slowed down the turning, trying to keep Jake from jumping too much, his happy bark sounding throughout the apartment. Placing her back on her feet, I kissed her with a passion I had been holding the reins on since the moment I met her.
As I held her neck with my hand, I dominated her mouth, pouring my relief, my lust, and my love into it. She reached her small arms around my neck and began moaning into my mouth, my cock becoming impossibly hard in my sweatpants. There was no denying the attraction I had for Emily when I pulled back from her and placed my forehead to hers, feeling the connection between our souls deeper than ever before.
She really was mine.
“Let’s eat dinner and get started on that list.” I winked as we sat down and began to eat. Every so often, I would catch her sneaking Jake a fren
ch fry and I had to laugh. That dog had her wrapped around his paw, and I couldn’t be happier.
Throwing away our take-out trash, I went to retrieve my journal to write her list in. This wasn’t a list that you write on a scrap piece of paper. This was something that you worked years on so it deserved to be in a safe place. Sitting down next to her, I opened the leather journal and found a couple of blank pages behind my list. I felt a confused look on my face as I flipped through it and realized I had accidentally skipped pages between my list and the thoughts I wrote down.
Even before I knew her, I must have known that these needed to be left blank for a reason. That reason is Emily, and the list that I will spend the rest of my life completing for her, hopefully adding to it until she runs out of things she wants to do. I want to look back when we are eighty and smile from our adventures, not regretting any of the things we may have missed out on.
“Well, how do we do this?” she asked, her happy voice giving me peace.
“We start listing things you want to do while you are still alive. Places you want to go, things you want to experience, people you would like to meet, goals you want to accomplish. Those kinds of things. Maddie wanted to skydive and Caroline had swamp airboat rides on her lists and we checked them off. “
“What’s on yours or are they private?” she inquired.
“They can be private but I’ve shown mine to them already. I would love for you to see what I hope we experience in our future.” I explained as I handed her the leather book and kissed her on the top of her head while she read through my list.
I saw her smile at a few and laugh at a couple more. Some of mine didn’t make any sense but they are things I want to try, at least once.
“Does this say, ‘train with a circus’?” she giggled, pointing at an entry.
“Yes, it does. Walking the tightrope, swinging on the trapeze. Sounds like fun and there is a place here that has classes. I was kind of hoping you would want to try it with me,” I sheepishly admitted.
“I would love to fly the trapeze with you.” She leaned up and kissed me before diving back into my list.
After she finished, I handed her a pen and she started writing. Every time I looked over her shoulder, she turned the book away and laughed at my pout. Her happiness is a balm to my soul, smoothing away the rough edges that I tried to hide from everyone but her. She sees the whole me and loves me exactly as I am.
How did I get so lucky to find her?
After she put the pen down, she handed me the journal and I flipped back to her entry so I could see what we could do first. Among the more notable ones were:
-See the Northern Lights
-Stay in an ice hotel
-Climb Mount Rainier
-Walk the Appalachian Trail
-Swim the Bimini Road
-Take a burro ride into the Grand Canyon to camp
-Sleep in a tree house
-Eat pastries in Paris
-See the Pyramids of Giza
-Visit the Great Wall of China
-Get married
-Have children
The list was full and diverse but it was the last two entries that had my heart beating faster in my chest. I swallowed and looked at her while she and Jake were chilling on the couch and she scrolled through her phone. I would marry her tomorrow if she would agree, but I feel like she needed more time before she would be ready for that.
Emily was slowly kicking down her own walls, not needing much help from me. After she told me her secret, it was like a new light had begun to shine inside of her. Deciding to not enroll next semester seems to have also lifted a burden off her. I hope that our travel adventures allow her to keep healing and blossoming into the amazing woman I know she will be.
Love, not time, heals all wounds, but the scars remain forever.
We slept peacefully that night and the next morning I grudgingly left her and Jake at the apartment so I could meet with Jason and finish up the Chicago contracts for Marcus to look over and complete his portion of the paperwork. I hated leaving her alone in the apartment and made her promise not to leave, even for Jake, until I got back.
She agreed quickly, so I know her mind was still replaying last night’s events. Her being safe is the most important thing and until I know she is, I will be at home more often. Pulling into the parking lot of the North Office, I make my way inside to my part-time office to see it exactly as I left it.
Carol, the executive secretary to Lucas, Maddie, and Jason popped her head in my office while I was trying to clear the clutter and put the paperwork away in the files for Marcus. Most of what I had to complete was finished late last night on my phone, while Emily slept peacefully snuggled against me.
“I heard what happened last night. Is Emily okay?” Carol asked, her motherly tendencies showing stronger than usual.
“Yes, she is as home taking her last final and I’m finished up my part so that Marcus can finalize everything before we leave for Chicago next week. I’m going to be working remotely for a while until I know she is settling in better.”
“I think that is for the best. I can courier anything you need over and please know, I am here if you or Emily ever need to talk.”
“Thank you, Carol. I’ll let Emily know. Can you give these to Marcus when he arrives? I’m meeting with Jason in a few minutes and then I’m headed back home.”
She nodded her head and took the files before leaving me alone in my office. I looked down at my phone, seeing I had about fifteen minutes before I needed to find Jason. Walking out of my office, I saw him arriving with Maddie and Lucas, who made a bee-line toward me as Maddie started peppering me with questions about Emily and what occurred.
After reassuring her that Emily was fine, and talking her out of trying to convince Emily to re-enroll in college, I followed Jason into his office as he shut the door for some privacy. He removed his suit jacket and rolled up his sleeves before sitting down on the black leather couch against the wall and we settled in for our discussion.
“Do you think she is being followed?” he asked, getting right to the point.
Shrugging my shoulders, I relayed the facts as I knew them, “I don’t know. Maybe. She said she felt like she was being watched and it creeped her out. After the drunk last night, she is playing it off as an over-active imagination and I want her to think that until we know otherwise. Do you think that the family of that monster would hire someone to follow her?” I raised the question that had been rattling around my head since she told me last night.
“It is a real possibility. They may be trying to gather information on her before they make their attempt at the appeals court. My lawyers keep burying them in paperwork, using every law they can find to keep him behind bars, even if he is granted a new trial. Has she talked about it with you?”
Remembering the conversation we had after her nightmare, I nodded my head, “She has and I’m not going to talk about it unless I have to. She told me a lot about what happened and it broke my fuckin’ heart.” The curse word slipping out before I remember to temper my language in front of my boss. “Sorry.”
“Shit. Don’t apologize to me. For her to tell you anything, I assume, is a good thing.” I acknowledged his statement so he continued, “Do you think she would be able to testify if I can’t find any way around him staying locked up?”
“It’s hard to tell. Some days she is so strong and other days I can tell she had been crying before I got home. She uses the excuse of something sad on TV, but I think she was hiding things from me. Lately, she is doing better and after last night and telling you about college, she is floating on air.” I explained.
“Keep her happy. Keep her safe. Work from home if you want or bring her in and let’s see if we can find something around here that she may enjoy doing. I’ll approve any expenses you need, just put it on the company credit card and give your receipts to Carol. When you travel with her, make sure to do something fun. Live, love each other, and make memorie
s, Josh.”
“I can cover our expenses, Jason.” I was a little angered he thought I couldn’t provide for Emily.
“I know you are a man of pride, Josh. I respect you for that, but that girl and you are my family. I take care of family. I have enough money to last until James is a hundred and I insist that you let me treat the two of you to a little fun living. That way, you can focus on her and not the money. Will you let me do that for the two of you?” His request caused a lump to form in my throat.
I swallowed it down and nodded my response, “Thank you, Jason. I really appreciate that, and you, for giving me a job and a chance to prove myself to you.”
“After everything you have done for Maddie and Caroline and helping them find their forever love, I want to be able to help repay the kindness. Thanks are not necessary. Just have a great time. Take this weekend and go somewhere before the weather gets too cold. Enjoy every minute you can with her and love her unconditionally.”
“That, I can do.” I responded as I shook his hand and left the office, letting Maddie and Lucas know I was leaving and that we would stop by next week to see the babies before we went out of town.
Driving home, I formulated a plan and called my parents to have them bring a few things I stored at their house to the apartment. Normally I would ask them to take Jake with them but this adventure, he can come on. I want to show her my special place, even if Hurricane Michael destroyed it last year.
I heard Jake’s happy bark from the living room so I knew Josh must have gotten home. I was cleaning my bedroom, trying to keep busy and not allow my mind to wonder. When he left this morning to go to work, I started to have an anxiety attack at being alone in the apartment, worried and angry someone might try and get inside again. Jake, sensing my distress, began to push under my arm until he and I were laid out on the couch, me rubbing his hairy belly, my worries floating away with each stroke of my hand through his fur.
The Soul That Redeems Me (The Forever Mine Series Book 3) Page 11