The Soul That Redeems Me (The Forever Mine Series Book 3)

by H. J. Marshall

  “Emily, baby? Where are you?” Josh asked into the apartment.

  “I’m in my room. You can come in.”

  “What are you doing?” he asked, as I was folding the military corners on the bed, the smell of fresh sheets filling the room.

  “I washed the sheets and ran the vacuum after I finished my last final.” I replied as I felt his hands snake around my waist, his strong front pushed into my back.

  He placed a gentle kiss on my neck, causing my head to lean sideways to grant him access. The feeling of his lips nipping and kissing my neck was causing my panties to get wet, the desire increasing with each swipe of his tongue against my flesh. I felt him urging me to turn around to face him as his lips slammed into mine, his tongue breaching my mouth when I moaned from the sensation.

  I pulled back, trying to catch my breath from his forceful display of affection, a smile gracing my face as he cupped my jaw and stared into my eyes. Josh was never rough or demanding of me, always giving me time to adapt to each new act and allowing me to work out my issues. I was a bundle of nerves at the thought of having sex, yet I knew that he would be gentle and never push me past what I was comfortable.

  I had a small fear that if I was never able to fully give myself to him, eventually he would grow tired of me and I would be left alone with a broken heart. I had spoken my fears to Dr. Sawyer during our last session and she was helping me to deal with my anxiety issues about rejection. He had said he was okay without that aspect of a relationship but in reality, can a man be in a relationship with a woman and not have sex?

  Then I begin to think, would he find someone who could give him what I can’t? Someone who is whole and unscarred? I must have allowed my negative thoughts to play out across my face. Josh placed his hand in mine and guided me to the living room to settle into the couch.

  “What’s going through your mind, baby?” he asked while he stroked my hand and gave me the time to gather my thoughts.

  Josh was amazing at knowing when someone was carrying a burden or their thoughts became negative. His mother’s illness was devastating on his early life and he had explained how often he had to save her from her inner demons. The kind of demons most people have and can handle without help or intervention.

  His mother’s demons chased him, as well, resulting in the caring, empathetic, understanding man who was looking at me like I hung the moon.

  “I was just thinking about us.”

  A frown appeared and I began to think I had said something wrong.

  “Thinking about us makes you sad? Why? Has something changed?’ he asked, a look of confusion crossing his face.

  “No. Never. I love us and I love you. I was just thinking about things that…”

  “Things that what, Emily?” he asked, a little frustration coming through his tone.

  I wasn’t making any sense and I could imagine how confusing I was being toward him. I took a deep breath and decided to just rip the band-aid off.

  “I’m afraid that if I can’t be with you… that way… that you would find someone who could give you what you wanted. What you needed. Someone who is whole. Someone who isn’t afraid and frustrated all the time.”

  He quickly picked me up and planted me on his lap, my legs straddling his, as he looked directly into my eyes and began to speak, “You are what I want. You are what I need. I fell in love with you under the roof of that dusty roadhouse in Louisiana and nothing will change that. I will never stray from you and I will never want another woman until the day I die. You are it for me, Emily.”

  His hands came up to caress my cheeks as the tears began to fall. “You and I are were both broken and together, we became whole. I will wait forever for you. Forever. There is nothing and no one who can make me stop loving you.” He placed a gentle kiss on my lips.

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know where these thoughts keep coming from. I know you love me and I hope you know how much I love you. I want to be with you, so badly.” I say as I slide up his lap and place my core over his expanding thickness. “I’m just afraid. Not of you and not of it. I’m afraid of me.”

  He looked at me for a moment before he slowly moved his hand behind my neck and brought my mouth down to his as he began to kiss and nip at my lips, demanding entry. A small thrust of his hips let me feel his full length under his dress pants, the feeling of wool under my cotton shorts adding to the growing pulse between my legs.

  With shaky hands, I reached down and grabbed the hem of my t-shirt, pulling it over my head and tossing it next to us on the couch. I rocked a little against his core as his hands came up and began to stroke my heavy breasts through my bra, my hard nipples evident through the thin cotton.

  The sensation growing between my legs was getting stronger so I rocked back and forth a little faster. Trying not to lose my nerve, I reached around and unhooked my bra, my breasts falling free, my nipples getting impossibly harder from the cool air.

  He looked at me and softly stroked the outsides of my breasts, the heaviness increasing with each gentle touch. An audible mewl came from me as he allowed his palms to ghost over each tip, my chest pushing toward him, needing more. He began to squeeze and stroke my nipples as I continued to rock against his hard dick.

  “Can I kiss you?” he asked as leaned forward and blew cool air over each breast, my need stronger than ever before.

  “Please.” I said as a moan when his warm mouth enveloped my aching nipple as he massaged my heavy breast and his other hand plucked and caressed my neglected breast. Switching, he paid the same tribute to the other side and my rocking became faster, my pressure on him greater as I was seeking relief from the pulsing in between my legs.

  His mouth worked up my chest, nipping behind my ear as he plucked each nipple and began to thrust up against my rocking strokes. As his lips slammed down on mine, I felt the heat begin to blossom in my core, the need to come growing with every glide of my hips. He pulled back and looked into my eyes as I came apart in his lap and he groaned, feeling him pulse under me as he reached climax.

  I’m not sure why, but I wasn’t self-conscious like I was the first time we made out. It felt right sitting in his lap, my breasts bared to the apartment as I caught my breath from another amazing orgasm. I felt his hand reached up and barely move over my breast, the need for his touch rising with each brush of his hand.

  Josh gently plucked my still diamond-hard nipples as he slowly kissed me, a smile breaking out across his face as we pulled back and gazed into each other’s eyes. “You are so beautiful, Emily.” He stared into my eyes, his fingers still working, tingles beginning to grow again.

  “I love you, Josh.”

  “I love you, too,” he responded before a laugh broke out and I felt Jake trying to crawl onto the couch next to us, “I love you too buddy. Let’s get ready.” He said before kissing me quickly and standing up with me still attached at his hips.

  He placed his hands under my ass and pulled me up as he walked into the bathroom and set me down on the counter. I raised an eyebrow at him, questioning if we were about to take a shower with each other. He pulled his shirt off and smirked at me while I traced his six-pack abs with my small hand.

  I had finally gotten a chance to trace all those tattoos he had and every time I saw them, I was in awe at the skill and artwork that went into his extensive piece. I wanted to add to my ink and the thought of calling Jazz popped into my head. Before I could get my idea out, he kissed me and stole all rational thought from my head.

  “I need to shower and you need to pack a bag but I had to have your perfect tits available for a few more minutes before you have to hide them away again.” He said, kissing me deeply as he massaged each heavy breast, then leaned down, sucking one nipple into his mouth, releasing it with a loud pop.

  His words were lost to me as I tried to grab his head and place it back on my breast, needing the feeling of his mouth and tongue back on me. Damn, how does this man make me forget myself so easily?

  Pull
ing away, he kissed my nose and placed my feet on the floor. With a small swat to my butt and a nudge toward the door, he laughed, “Get a bag packed. Hoodie, sweatpants, shorts, t-shirt, tennis shoes, flip-flops. Oh, and don’t forget the little blue bikini.” His laugh was audible through the closed bathroom door as the shower started in the background.

  “Where the hell are we going?” I mumbled to Jake as I began to pack what he said, along with a sexy set of lingerie Maddie and Caroline had given me for my birthday. I wasn’t sure if I would have the nerve to even put it on in front of him but with my escalating libido, I wanted to at least be prepared for whatever step comes next.

  Josh was getting dressed when I heard his phone chimed with a text message. I grabbed his phone and took it to his door, knocking before I entered. I caught a glimpse of his tight ass while he was putting on his shorts, causing me to pause. He looked over his shoulder and smirked as he turned and pulled his tight shirt on and walked toward me.

  I handed him his phone and he glanced at the text, a huge smile breaking out across his face, “They’re here.” He said as he laced his fingers with mine and we walked into the living room as someone began to knock on the door. He brought our connected hands up and placed a kiss on mine before dropping my hand and opening the door.

  His parent’s smiling faces were the first thing I saw as Jake pushed past me and began to bark and jump, happy to see his “grandparents.” They greeted Josh with a hug then walked in, pulling me into an embrace.

  “Emily, you look beautiful, as always.” Thomas, Josh’s father remarked as his mother nodded her head in agreement.

  “Thomas, Teresa, it’s good to see you.” I replied and glanced at Josh, confused at his parent’s arrival.

  “Mom and Dad brought a few things from storage we are going to need this weekend.”

  “Where are we going?” I asked, still confused.

  “I want to take you to my peaceful place. I was thinking we could recharge our batteries and take a break before we travel to Chicago next week. What do you think? A few days away from the city. Just you, me, and Jake,” Josh explained as he grabbed my hand and tugged me into his side, my arms wrapping around his defined stomach.

  Trusting Josh to keep me safe, and knowing he is great for adventure, I nodded my head and smiled my biggest smile, “I think that sounds wonderful. Even if I don’t know where we’re going.”

  That brought a laugh from the three of them and I gladly joined in, knowing Josh and I would have an amazing weekend, even if we just sat and stared at each other. After a short visit, we grabbed our bags and locked up the apartment, letting the doorman know we would be gone for the weekend.

  Walking outside, I spotted what was stored and laughed again. Hooked up to Josh’s Jeep was a travel trailer, looking out of place in downtown Atlanta.

  More hugs and promises to have fun, the three of us were on the road to our adventure. I pulled up my roadtrip playlist and we sang along, rapping, belting out sad country tunes, and seat-dancing to pop songs as we made our way into Florida.

  Taking a turn and heading down a road that appeared to have been damaged by a strong storm, I asked Josh, “Where are we going?” I know the signs kept saying Panama City Beach but we were turning away from the directed signs.

  “My peaceful place. Mexico Beach. Mom and Dad had all the debris removed from our lot and we are delivering the travel trailer so they can start coming down and staying again until we start the rebuild in the Spring. They packed food, water, and provisions for us and their next trip, they will restock. There is no power so the generator will be needed but we should have the entire beach to ourselves for the weekend. Most of the construction guys leave at night since there aren’t any hotels and the roads are closed at sunset, in and out, to protect from trouble. Not that there ever is any.” He told me as he kissed my hand intertwined with his and continued through the remains of Hurricane Michael.

  After signing in with the guards posted at the top of the road, we slowly made our way through the nearly deserted town. The devastation was so great that I felt tears falling from my eyes as I looked at total destruction in every direction. Josh’s parent’s lot was at the far end of the beach, so we were able to see where some construction had already begun and the single surviving house, a white steel and concrete structure still standing, a lone survivor amongst the loss, stood hauntingly alone.

  We pulled into the lot and I looked around, seeing no one within sight. Josh backed the trailer into the lot and we got out, Jake running around but not going too far from us. After securing the trailer, we got the generator hooked up and I began to take stock of the food supplies Teresa and Thomas had packed.

  I found steaks, eggs, bacon, salad options, and fresh fruit packed neatly in iced coolers inside the trailer. Looking into the cabinets, they had junk food, supplies for s’mores, and all the small condiments we could need for the next few days. Popping my head out of the metal home, I found Josh with his shirt off, pulling pieces of wood and making a pile about ten feet from the trailer.

  “How many days are we staying, Josh” I asked, my eyes never leaving his defined torso as I watched beads of sweat rolling down his abs and being absorbed into the waistband of his shorts.

  “I was thinking we would head out Sunday unless you want to leave before then. I’m off until we leave Thursday afternoon.” He continued to drag fallen branches across the lot while we talked.

  After he gathered enough wood for us to start a fire, he sat down, wiping the perspiration from his brow as he drank deeply from the bottle of cold water I had given him. I found myself staring at him as he soaked up the sun and smiled at nothing. It was good to see him so relaxed.

  “Do you want to put on your swimsuit? We can walk to the beach and if we decide to swim, we’re already dressed.”

  “I would love to go swimming. I wasn’t expecting the heat down here.” I said as I went inside and changed quickly, not wanting to miss a moment with him.

  Hand in hand we walked the few blocks to the beach with Jake following closely behind. Josh told me which lot was owned by whom and who they’d heard planned on not rebuilding. I suggested that his parents buy a vacant lot to extend their property and Josh laughed, telling me they already had the lots on both sides of them in negotiations with the departing owners.

  As we approached the sand, I took a deep breath and blew it out, the stress immediately leaving my body as I felt the warm grains push between my toes. The smell of the salt air was refreshing to my busy brain as we strolled the water’s edge, the waves licking at our feet, cooling me, but not my desire for Josh.

  “I like to come here when life gets too much for me. After my parents adopted me, I was a bit of a handful. I was respectful like my Granny had taught me but it was hard for me to unwind. I was always afraid something bad was going to happen, and I was always on alert. Too many years of chasing my mother… They bought the house down here and brought me every weekend and most of the summer. I would swim, bike, fish, kayak. Hell, anything to keep my mind occupied until I finally broke down and told them my secret…

  “It was here that I felt like I could breathe again. I could come out here and shout at the ocean… my fears, my worries… my anger at being left alone. Dad would come out here and we would talk for hours, him telling me about his youth and how he used to be rebellious. I think he wanted me to know there was redemption from our pasts…a chance to start over and leave the pain where it belonged… with the memories. I wanted to bring you to the place I found my center in hopes you could find yours.” He halted our footsteps with a tug of his hand.

  We turned out facing the setting sun and I found myself wrapped in his arms, surrounded by love. I looked up into his eyes as he smiled down at me. Reaching up, I kissed him with the passion all I was feeling for him. I poured every bit of love I had for him into this perfect moment, the sky turning deep pink and orange, as the sun fell beyond the horizon and night was ushered in.

 
Breaking our kiss, I pulled back as he leaned in and placed his forehead against mine. I loved when he did that to me, connecting our heads, bonding our souls with the simple expression of affection.

  We walked back to the lot before we lost the last of the light, Josh explaining it wasn’t safe with no power on this side of the beach yet. They had been working diligently trying to restore the power but with no homes inhabitable, there was only so much they could do.

  Making our way to the travel trailer, Josh fired up the generator and plugged in a cord, the entire outside became lit by hanging lights I had just noticed were strung on the tiny mobile home. He started a fire and grabbed a grate from the kitchen supplies while I got chairs and a small table set up for us. Jake was happily chewing on a rawhide bone Thomas had packed in the supplies, oblivious to what we were doing.

  Watching Josh cook dinner for us over an open flame, outside under the stars, was making my heart swoon. He’s the most caring man I’d ever met, always striving to make sure everyone he loves was taken care of. I found myself walking the short distance to him and placing my arms around his waist, my head resting against his back as he stroked my arms.

  I stepped back as he turned and pulled me into his hard body, his mouth gently sweeping against mine before he winked and went back to grilling our steaks. I smiled at him before disappearing into the kitchen to finished the sides for dinner.

  After we ate, we turned off the generator and sat by the fire, no words exchanged, our eyes turned up at the millions of stars visible with no lights around.

  “I feel like we are on a deserted island or we are the last two people on earth. No sounds, no people, no lights. I could get used to this kind of solitude,” I said into the night sky.

  “Any time you want to be here, just say the word and I’ll make it happen.” His finger reached over and turned my head toward him as he slowly kissed me.

  “Are we sleeping out here tonight?” I asked when he released me from his soul-consuming kiss.