“I bet he wore his shoes and they’re soaked. How am I supposed to keep Mom from finding out I wasn’t watching him? Walton! Walton Phillip!”
The low-hanging trees were in sight. They grew almost sideways from the steep embankment, which arched their branches over the water in the dry season, but half-submerged them after so many days of rain. Debris, no doubt washed in from the recent spate of thunderstorms, bobbed up against the drowning canopy.
No sign of Walton climbing the limbs. Ugh, where was that brat?
“If you’ve been wading, you’re gonna get it! Walton! Answer me!”
Bright red flashed beneath the branches of the closest tree, something below the surface of the swirling water. Caught up in the submerged limbs, Piper’s eyes went straight to it.
His favorite shirt, with that stupid cartoon bird he loved so much emblazoned on the front. He must have pulled his clothes off to keep them dry and clean. The shirt had no doubt been caught by a breeze and carried into the creek.
Piper told herself it was definitely only the shirt as she picked her way towards it. She kept telling herself that as she waded from the shore into the water, fighting the current to reach that splash of red, the red shirt Walton couldn’t still be wearing.
That dark spot isn’t his hair. That’s not his head. He’s not face down in the water. This isn’t happening. God please, this isn’t happening!
“God, this isn’t happening!” she screamed as she turned the small, sturdy body over. His blank stare met hers, his blue eyes set in his blue face.
He’ll be okay. It’s not too late. It’s not too late. It’s not too late, don’t let it be too late!
Piper puffed into his mouth. She breathed between his slack, frozen lips, clutching his heavy, sodden frame to her shuddering form. She blew, screaming as she tried to force life into his body.
Screaming and screaming and screaming…
* * * *
Nako watched Piper, his fierce heart aching for the poor, tormented woman. She was lost in her terrible past, streaming tears, her expression filled with horror. Her distant gaze looked at the face of her dead brother, and she drowned in her conscience as sure as that boy had drowned in the creek.
Nako doubted Piper was aware of him kneeling at her feet. He doubted she even knew she sat on his sleeping mat. He’d guided her through the corridors to his clan’s quarters as she’d choked out the story in a voice raspy with an agony that was far more than emotional.
Had she really punished herself for over twenty years for the boy’s death? Nako hurt for her, for the loss of not just her sibling, but also the belief in her basic goodness.
Just like Terig. A monstrous error in judgment, and no absolution ever granted to themselves. There was no harsher judge than the guilty conscience of a moral person.
Perhaps others had been unkind as well. Terig had been condemned by his superiors, by the fleet, by his fellow men. Had Piper encountered the same?
Nako squeezed her knee. “Did your parents forgive you?”
Despite his gentle tone, she started in surprise. She blinked at him, noticing how they were face to face. Once she’d realized where she was and who she was with, she answered his question. “How could they forgive me? Oh, they didn’t scream at me or beat me for it. They didn’t talk to me about it at all. It was in their eyes, though. Such pain.”
“Losing a child must be the most difficult injury of all. I can’t imagine it.”
“My father aged overnight. His health was terrible after that, and he died when he was in his forties.” Piper didn’t have to tell him she blamed herself for that too.
“You say you weren’t punished for leaving Walton alone?”
She stared down at where her fingers twisted on her lap. “It was as if no one had the strength to make me pay for my stupidity. Everyone was just…empty. Like their souls had been scooped out of their bodies.”
Nako had a glimmer of understanding what Piper’s biggest problem might be. She hadn’t been called into account for allowing her brother to find trouble. She’d been afforded no avenue of repentance, leaving her unforgiven by all. Especially herself.
No way to make it right. No atonement for her crime of neglect. No opportunity to compensate for what she’d done.
Except she’d been trying to balance the scales of justice ever since, right up to that moment. She’d risked her life to warn the empire of the death ship. She’d dared the same to keep the Tragoom safe.
It’s not enough. She calls herself a murderer. That alone said she wouldn’t accept forgiveness, at least not from herself.
Nako was out of his depth when it came to fixing such problems. His relationship with Terig assured him of that. He made an attempt anyhow, because he couldn’t not try.
“Piper, you were no more than a child yourself. Children don’t think such things can happen to them. In his first book, my favorite writer pointed out that the capacity for considering long-term consequences is close to zero for an adolescent. Mistakes happen. Tragic mistakes sometimes, but mistakes nonetheless. It’s not as if you meant any harm.”
As he’d feared, she refused to accept she’d committed nothing less than a heinous act. “I don’t deserve forgiveness. I killed Walton as surely as if I’d held him under the water myself. Can’t you see that?”
“No. You’ve told me the story of a dumb, self-centered kid—as we’ve all been dumb, self-centered kids at some point—doing dumb, self-centered kid stuff. It ended as horrifically as any error in judgment could. Most of us squeaked past our youthful stupidity without the worst happening, but you weren’t that lucky. You’ve probably paid the price for it several times over.”
“I’ve tried. But when I’ve attempted to make amends, I’ve found I’m nowhere close to being absolved.” Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks.
“How have you tried to correct the situation?”
“I quit high school to support my parents when my dad got too sick to work anymore. I got a job waitressing so he could rest and get well. He died anyway.”
“Parents die.”
“It was Walton’s death that drove my father to his grave.”
“Piper—”
“I’m cursed because of what I did. I fell for a boy when we were teenagers. He loved me too, and we got engaged. I thought maybe I could have that, but he was diagnosed with terminal leukemia. So we hurried up and married so I could give him at least that happiness. I thought that might make up for everything.”
“You married him, knowing you’d end up alone?”
“It was a chance to do good. I was sure God had forgiven me for Walton and Daddy when I got pregnant. My husband was overjoyed to know there would be a baby after he was gone, and it maintained my sanity after he died. But then I miscarried. I wasn’t worthy of having a child, not after Walton. Not after my father died of heartbreak.”
She kept going, listing all her efforts to exonerate her misdeeds. The attempts to gain happiness through going back to night school to earn her diploma and going to college to better her and her mother’s life. And how circumstances proved over and over again she hadn’t paid the price for her brother’s death or any of her other mistakes.
All the way up to Armageddon, when Earth had suffered the fatal blow that rendered it uninhabitable, Piper had tried to forge a path to achieve amnesty for her sins. And then, the final blow. “When I couldn’t get Mom to that rescue site before her body gave out—that’s when I knew God would never forgive me. So instead of accepting the Galactic Council’s or Kalquor’s aid, I sold myself to a Bi’isil biological researcher. I didn’t care if his experiments killed me. It was what I deserved.”
Nako’s mind reeled, overwhelmed by the litany of loss and despair. What he saw as a series of unfortunate events, a run of incredibly bad luck, this beautiful and brave woman took as proof of her guilt. Of the universe’s demand that she suffer.
Terig was right. Neither he nor Nako were suited for psychological mumbo-j
umbo. The Dramok couldn’t begin to figure out how to rescue a defeated soul.
He said as much. “Piper, I’m not someone who can help you with all this. I wish I could. I wish I could convince you that you don’t deserve to hurt as much as you believe you should.”
“I need to be punished. I have been through harsh circumstances, but it’s not enough. I don’t believe it ever will be.”
Maybe because no one has taken you to task specifically for your supposed crimes. Just capricious fate, which isn’t here to reprimand. It simply is.
That brought another flicker of an idea. A thin hope. A dumb notion. No, a terrible notion. Yet desperation to do something to erase Piper’s defeated look made him seize it like a lifeline.
“I can punish you for your brother’s death. If you think it would help.” When Piper stared at him with fearful confusion, he hastened to add, “Not permanent harm, sweet Mother of All. But if you’re determined to pay some debt you feel you owe, if you want some sort of penance—I can provide it.”
“What do you mean?” Was that a note of yearning?
Nako stood and went to the drawers set in the wall. He paused. Could he do this? Unsure, he retrieved a stiff strap he used on his clanmates—for pain and pleasure, as needed. The grip was familiar in his hand, though the sweatiness of his palm was something new.
It couldn’t be right for him to discipline a woman for wrongs done long before he’d met her. It wasn’t his place to exact punishment for her supposed shortcomings, especially when he didn’t agree she deserved it. It was wrong on every level.
Yet he didn’t know what else to do to help her. He couldn’t leave her in the state she was in; to do so wrenched at him. He had to choose the lesser evil.
Nako hoped he was choosing wisely.
He was sure Piper would run screaming out of his quarters as soon as she saw what he proposed. Nako turned, showing her the strap.
She gawped at him. But not with fear. With hunger. Her breathing was quick, and she licked her lips. “Yes.”
Her voice was throaty, downright sensual. As the room rocked around him, Nako’s cocks jerked. His heart picked up speed. Then it pounded even faster as she rolled over on his mat, lying with her ass hanging off the edge. Her suddenly naked ass, since she had yanked the hem of her dress up to her waist. The round, blameless flesh beckoned him.
Mother of All. The blood flowed so fast to his engorging cocks that Nako thought he might pass out. To cover his moment of lightheadedness, he returned to the drawers. “I have a better idea. Stand up.”
Piper complied with an eagerness that made Nako’s knees knock together. He scowled at his shaking hand as he retrieved a flexible strap, which had metal rings on the end. Making himself breathe deeply, trying to calm down, he attached the rings to hooks set in the ceiling.
“Are you going to hang me up?” Piper stepped near, her fresh scent swamping Nako’s already tumultuous senses. He gazed into rounded, blue eyes. She appeared terrified and relieved all at once.
Funny. I’m terrified too. What the hell did I get myself into?
Nako ordered gruffly, “Remove your dress.”
The sheath went flying, as did the strip of cloth on her thigh and the knife Piper kept in it. Nako ogled the exposed peachy-pink skin, over five-and-a-half feet of naked woman, with her delicious curves. His ears rang, and a roaring was added to the din as the Earthling moved close and kissed him.
Against his lips, she said, “Thank you. For this and for understanding I need it.”
Nako barked a cough and swallowed. Piper didn’t deserve a beating. Not for failures both under and out of her control. He was the worst sort of person for making her suppose he believed otherwise. However, she was determined to be reprimanded.
If she had to have it, then he had to give it to her. If it repaired anything in her broken state, then may the Mother of All give him the strength to mend her.
Without a word—he couldn’t trust himself to speak—he held his hand out. Her expression sweetly trusting, Piper placed her wrists in his grip. Nako looped the tiny limbs through the strap hanging from the ceiling and checked to ensure they were loose enough so that her circulation wasn’t compromised. He turned her around, putting her back to him.
The Dramok bit his lip hard, stifling the groan that rose from his guts. Piper’s supple frame stretched in a long line, standing on the balls of her feet, with her arms reaching towards the ceiling. He gazed at the curved ass he was supposed to strap, at the pair of dimples over each cheek. He’d never seen anything so beautiful.
Nako ignored the stiff strap lying on the mat to crowd against Piper. He slid his hand around her hip, reaching for and finding the soft curls covering her mound, diving between her legs to discover the wet slit where her heat lived. As he stroked the soft petals of her sex, he grabbed her ass, enjoying its weight in his other palm, grasping hard to bury his fingers in the softness. He nuzzled the nape of her neck, kissed his way to the meaty part where the graceful column met her shoulder, burrowing past the silky sheet of golden hair so his teeth could clench on her skin.
“No venom, Nako. No intoxication. I need pain.”
Nako forced his rioting body to calm. This encounter wasn’t about pleasure. It was about giving Piper what she craved—an avenue to the peace of mind she’d been denied.
He stepped back and fetched the thick strap. Eyed it and the blameless flesh it was meant for. He didn’t want to injure her. Sensual discomfort, the kind from rough fucking or even perhaps a playful spanking, was one thing. Punishing a woman who had done him no wrong was quite another. But he’d offered. Damn him, he’d offered, and she wanted it.
Grinding his teeth together, Nako gripped the strap. He swung, watching the black leather streak through the air. It popped against her ass, bending to wrap around the curve of her buttocks, curling in a lover’s caress. She jerked and cried out.
Nako almost dropped the strap at her reaction. “Piper?”
“More!” She thrust her rear towards him, entreating. “Harder. Don’t be gentle. I have to pay.”
He stared at the flush of color showing where he’d struck her. Not a welt, not by any means, just a light pink streak. He could do this. For her. But would what he could give be enough? “I won’t draw blood. No heavy bruising. And if you can’t handle it, tell me. Say the Kalquorian word for ‘stop’. It’s sholt.”
Piper’s breath came in gasps. She continued to twitch, encouraging him to complete what he’d begun. “Sholt. I understand. But you must be as strict as possible.” She tossed her hair, looking at him over his shoulder.
No fear now. Only excitement. Anticipation. She licked her lips and evaluated him with a demeanor that at any other time, Nako would have sworn meant she wanted sex.
“I’m ready.” She shut her eyes and waited.
I’m not sure I am. Nevertheless, Nako concentrated his attention on her waiting ass. He gripped the strap hard. He swung with the authority of the disciplinarian.
It was remarkably easy to fall into the rhythm of chastisement, to anticipate his aim as she danced for him. Her cries grew louder and louder, a song of torment that was somehow sweeter than any music he’d ever heard. And her pretty ass, growing rosier with each stroke, a furious blush that enticed Nako. He was hard for her, this beautiful woman who writhed, who begged for his strap, who turned her punishment into his sensual torture. He was hard, he was aching, and he wanted her more than he’d wanted anyone in his entire life.
My avenging angel. Ulof looks like one when he smiles, but Nako is the true angel who will save me.
Piper grew more certain of that with every blow to her shrieking ass. Her body insisted it couldn’t withstand anymore, that she must shout sholt, that the torment must end. However, each strike opened inner wounds, bleeding out the poison in her soul, healing her at long last.
The agony was exquisite in its perfection. The release of guilt was even more so. Piper shrieked with torture and redemption. Her fee
t drummed a desperate tattoo against the carpeted floor, an instinctive attempt to run from Nako’s strap. The tether gripping her wrists kept her where she wished to be, held her for the long-awaited penance she’d despaired of enjoying.
It went on and on, yet when Nako stopped, Piper wailed for more. Her ass was in misery, but her head and heart filled with bliss. After so long, she’d been judged and sentenced. She’d begun to remunerate her transgressions. She didn’t want it to end.
“No more. Your poor ass can’t take it. I can’t take it. This is as far as it goes.” Nako’s words came through gasps.
Piper sobbed. She felt so light, so clean and purified. She could have floated to heaven at that moment. He couldn’t stop, not now. “More. I’m begging you, please.”
“No. That’s plenty. Maybe more later, if you want it—if you need it.” He nuzzled her ear, nipped the lobe. A tiny sting sizzled, and Piper sighed. Hurt was good. Hurt sanctified.
She moved against him, encouraging him to give her more. Nako was willing for that part, at least. His grip squeezed her whipped skin, bringing fresh, heady torture. Piper cried out in ecstasy at the twin wallops of distress and elation. “Yes!”
Nako continued to roughly massage her ass. While he did so, he groped her breasts, pinching her nipples to deliver more glorious anguish. Piper sobbed and moaned, rubbing wantonly against him as her pussy clamored. She’d been wet for ages, her thighs coated with cream almost from the first stroke of his strap.
“Pain excites you.” Nako’s tone was wondering, as if he’d learned some great truth. “It’s not just gaining absolution. It’s something you crave on a deeper level.”
Piper had nothing to say to that. She was too deep into the wondrous cruelty of his calloused touch, in the harsh way he handled her.
When he slapped her breasts, spanking them red with his palm, Piper shrieked in rapture. As she had shoved her ass at him while he strapped her, so did she now thrust her chest forward, inviting Nako to continue the chastisement that drove her wild with excitement. Then the more intense, incredible torment she’d wanted since the first time he’d done it: Nako spanked her pussy, sending thunderclaps of gorgeous agony through her until she climaxed.
Alien Outcast Page 14