Yeah, right. Theo may not like me, but if I scream he’ll come. Probably. At least, Goran will. Likely will. I don’t think either of them will like me being assaulted. I do belong to the God of War after all.
“Please,” he adds. “We have to talk.”
The earnestness of his voice calms the fight brewing in my muscles. When he raises his brows in silent question, there isn’t danger written there but doubt. An internal fight of his own. I nod once and he steps away, exhaling slowly.
“All right, Cy.” I speak slowly, like he’s an animal ready to pounce, and rub at my cheeks where his hand pressed. There’s a clear shot to the door if I need it. “What do we need to talk about?”
“You weren’t a willing sacrifice.” It’s both a statement and a question.
“No.”
He rubs his hands over his face and groans. “Gods above.”
Unease skitters across my back. I don’t like anything about this. “I’m leaving.”
“I didn’t think Astra was telling the truth,” he says in a rush. “When she came home… I never imagined he would…”
I shuffle back a step. “He who? What are you talking about?”
“I shouldn’t say. You should know—” He cuts himself off and searches my face. “Things in this world aren’t always what they appear and almost never what you want them to be.”
My palms sweat and I eye the door handle. “What are you talking about?”
“Be careful.”
The warning strikes new fear into my soul. Not a fear of Theo or swords, but one of drowning. Of being sucked under by a riptide of the unknown, minute details filling my lungs until there’s no room left for oxygen. I’m treading water so deep I can’t imagine its depths.
Cy moves to leave but I step in front of him, hysteria rising to the surface. And with it, the same sense of fight-or-die I’ve lived with since the bombings. “Hold on. You can’t drag me in here, string together a bunch of cryptic nonsense, and then walk away. Did you hear something in the Wall? Are the men planning an attack? Are they mad I’m here?”
“What?” His brow lowers. “Why would Theodric’s men care if you’re here? And you’re clearly insane if you think they would ever move against him.”
“I’m insane?” I snap. “I don’t even know who you are. Why should I listen to anything you have to say?”
“I’m Astra’s husband but you certainly don’t have to listen to me. I did my part by warning you. The ball is in your court.” He jerks to move around me and pauses. “If you mention this conversation to anyone, I’ll deny it until my last breath.” Then he slips out of the room.
I stand there for a second, letting his words sink in—his lack of words—before I leap into the hallway after him. “What did you warn me about?” I ask, but he’s gone.
I rap my fingers on the side of my thigh, the book hanging from my other hand. If I go after him, I risk running into Theo. Judging by the way Cy dragged me in here, we shouldn’t be seen talking. But if I don’t, I’ll never understand his warning. Or maybe I will, but not until it’s too late. A small, frustrated sound escapes my throat and I barrel down the stairs.
Cy is halfway across the main entryway when I catch up to him. Theo’s hard voice travels from the front room but I ignore it. If I get answers fast enough, I can be hiding in my room again before he’s done talking to Astra. I grab Cy’s wrist and pull him to a stop.
“What are you doing?” he hisses.
I raise my eyebrows. “We didn’t finish our conversation.”
“We did.”
“Really?” I ask. “Because I have no idea what happened up there.”
“I told you. Be careful.”
I pull in a deep breath. “But why?”
He yanks free from my grip. “Ebris will use you against Theodric to end the war. Theodric knows that, which makes you a threat to him.”
Was that what their fight was about? Me? Goran said it was best Ebris didn’t know I was here yet, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t find out on his own. I narrow my eyes at Cy. “I don’t care what Theo does,” I tell him.
“You should.” His eyes zip over the paneled walls. “Others do.”
Maybe I should, but I don’t. “I get it. You’re Kisken too. You want to save our island.”
“Please.” He lets out a disgusted huff. “The country I loved is gone. It has been for a long time now.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Your—”
“There you are.” Astra steps out of the front room and slides up next to Cy. She snakes an embrace around his waist. “I wondered where you went.”
He sets a stiff arm around her shoulders and gives me a pointed look. “I was giving Cassia some advice about settling in.”
“That’s good of you. I know it can be hard on some.”
Unspoken words hang in the air between us. Some like me. The girl who didn’t believe in the Gods and knows nothing about how any of this works. At least she didn’t give voice to what we’re all thinking.
“She’ll be okay,” Cy says.
“If there’s ever anything you need, let me know.” Astra lets go of Cy to hug me a final time, speaking into my hair. “We have to cut things short today, but I do hope to see you again.”
“I’d like that,” I say truthfully. Just because I cause friction between Ebris and Theo doesn’t mean I can’t have an ally here. Especially one that gives me access to Cy, so I can pry the rest of that sentence from his lips.
“We’ll plan something soon.” She kisses my cheek and heads for the front door. “Take good care of her, Theodric.”
Theo stands in the doorway with his hands in fists. “Why are you still here?”
She tuts as Cy steps outside, joining the red-headed girl in the courtyard. “Before I forget,” she calls to me. “What’s your favorite color?”
I swallow hard as Theo’s gaze lands on me. “Blue.”
Astra smiles before turning away, leaving me alone with Theo—the bear she poked with a pointy stick. Very alone. I look around for Goran, but the one time I actually need him, he’s nowhere in sight.
“So…that was your sister?” I cringe at the question but I didn’t know how else to break the thick silence. And it had to be broken. Turning and running in the opposite direction is cowardly, although probably the smarter choice.
“The most irritating of them, yes.” His chest rises and falls with heavy breaths. “But not the most opinionated, by far.”
I’m not sure if he’s trying to make a joke or a complaint, but either is an effort toward conversation. It’s still important he doesn’t want to lop my head off while I’m stuck here, so I force a smile. “My brother was full of opinions too.”
Theo inhales sharply and brushes past me. My grip tightens on the leather binding. There has to be an answer somewhere in these books. If not in this one, maybe another.
Cassia stands in the middle of the brook, jeans rolled to her knees, with a white bucket by her feet. The soft sound of water brushing against stone is punctuated by the plunk of rocks as she attempts to skip them downstream. My insides quake and I pause behind the safety of the trees. It’s not too late to turn back. I don’t care how much time Astra needs to redecorate the third floor bedroom, nor do I care if it’s a surprise. If my sister wants her occupied, she should do it herself. I can’t spend five minutes with the girl, let alone an entire afternoon.
Besides, fixing the room gives the wrong impression. It implies Cassia is staying. Two weeks is a far cry from forever, and I haven’t made any decisions yet. Once Ebris comes to his senses, I can get back to work. Avoiding her and the war at the same time has been nothing short of torture. I can’t sit, can’t read, can’t sleep. I’ve snapped at Goran more in the last few days than I have in the last year. I should stop waiting for Ebris but I can’t. That’s what he wants me to do. I would be handing him a small victory.
I clench my jaw against that train of thought and focus agai
n on Cassia, growing discomfort in my chest. Each time she’s around, words fail. Everything I’ve thought of to narrow down possibilities for my curiosity disappear behind a cloud of resentment. This has to be Ebris’ doing, but that only makes it worse. If she were here of her own accord, I wouldn’t worry about misstepping in my brother’s favor. If only I could ignore her as well as she’s been ignoring me.
“I can feel you watching me, Goran,” she calls. I freeze, afraid to move and give away my position, but she doesn’t turn around. “Yes, I’m still here. No, I haven’t drowned yet. I’m not giving up until one of these stupid rocks skip, so you can go back to your war mongering. I know the way back.”
I grit my teeth. It’s tempting to leave, but each second I stand here, the less I find I’m able. She reaches into the bucket for another stone and wings it. The motion sends her hair curling around her torso, skimming the inside of her elbow. I cringe against the desire to find out how soft it is. The rock sinks beneath the surface and her head hangs in defeat.
“If you think you can do better, by all means…”
A swell of amusement pushes at my agitation, and I swat long, sweeping branches with small oval leaves from my path. The mossy ground gives under my boots as I approach the bank and crouch beside the water. Cassia rubs her thumb over another stone, her fingers moving against the speckled surface. The water is cool as I dip my hand in and grab a smooth, round rock from the bed. With a quick flick of my wrist, it hops along the surface six times before disappearing.
“Show off,” she mumbles.
“It’s all in the wrist,” I say.
She spins around so fast she slips, catching herself on a large tree root jutting from the bank. Water splashes up her jeans. She rights herself and brushes her hands across her bare arms. “Theo.” She takes a deep breath and sloshes her way through the water. “I didn’t think you ever left the house.”
“No?” I cross my arms. “We met in Kisk.”
Her cheeks glow. “That was different.”
She’s right—that was work—and I can’t remember the last time I was in my own woods. There’s been no reason to come here since Drea stopped supplying game. She claimed I was using the entire world as my personal hunting grounds so there was no need to hunt here as well. It was an uncharacteristically bitter moment but she could have taken it all. The trees. The grass. This place could have been turned into a wasteland so I keep my mouth shut.
“Jumping realms is normal but taking a walk isn’t?” I ask.
She slips wet feet into her shoes, grabs her grey sweater from the base of a wide tree, and steps back to put more space between us. “I have no idea what’s normal for a god.”
“No,” I say. “Seeing as you’ve only recently come to believe we exist.”
She sighs. “Are you ever going to let that go?”
I look away. She won’t be here long enough for me to forget her disbelief. Not that it matters. My power doesn’t come from prayer; it comes from within. Or, it would if Ebris hadn’t ripped it away. I roll the ring on my middle finger with the pad of my thumb. “What are you doing out here?”
“Nothing.” She leans over, rolling her pant legs back down. “I needed a break.”
I raise an eyebrow. “From what?”
“What are you doing out here?” she asks, almost too quickly. “Spying on me?”
Heat sweeps up my back. I should have turned around when I had the chance; I can’t do this.
“I’m kidding,” she says.
Her eyes skim along my cheek. The muscles in my jaw jump. “Would you like to walk with me?” I ask, the words stiff.
She chews on the inside of her lip. Her gaze flickers to my hip and the sword hanging from it. My fingers twitch. Of course she doesn’t. What reason have I given that she should want to spend time with me? She must dread the thought as much as I do.
Finally, as I’m about to turn, she gives a quiet hmm of consent.
I stuff my hands in my pockets, away from the hilt of my sword, but her face remains tight. I try not to let it bother me. To be understanding. I did try to use it against her. Only once. It won’t do any good if her guard is up, though; I need to see some of that girl I saw in Kisk. Some of that spark that caught my attention after knocking down the overpass. The stern, no-nonsense girl that gave away her bread. The cautious one who disappeared the second my back was turned.
A kernel lodges itself in my chest. That’s the same girl I’m with now, only her wariness is centered solely on me instead of split amongst an entire group of Kiskens. I clear my throat and start upstream. It doesn’t matter who she is as long as I can narrow down why I care. If I know, Ebris will never be able to put me in this situation again.
“Have you seen the waterfall?” I ask, forcing a little cheer into my voice.
The next twenty minutes are torture. Cassia’s presence tingles at my back, tense and high-strung. She’s ready to run if I make any sudden movements, and my brain rushes desperately over a thousand things to break the silence. To ease her fears. Each thought vanishes as quickly as it comes, finally being replaced by the soft whisper of the falls. It grows into a steady roar as we near the edge of the woods.
I slow and Cassia steps up to walk at my side instead of behind. Her concentration drifts over wide tree trunks and swoops up the full branches, as if she’s expecting an ambush. As if I would need to lure her into one. When the forest ends abruptly, giving way to hills covered in dense grass, her steps falter.
Water cascades, white and graceful, over the peak of a cliff high above our heads. It rushes into a wide pool at the lowest point of the valley where it feeds the brook. In the distance, mountains link together in shadow. The edge of my realm. On the other side is the Between, connecting this place to my siblings’ like the hub of a wheel.
She says something, but the falls drown out her voice and she inches closer to ask again. “Where does the water come from?”
I shrug one shoulder and tear my mind away from the darkness. “Brisa.”
Cassia scowls and bites her bottom lip. I can tell it’s not enough of an answer for her. It wouldn’t be for someone who has no faith and knows nothing about how the Gods work. I’m a poor example, but the others are nearly limitless within their abilities. The water is there simply because my sister wills it.
“It’s amazing,” she says after a moment.
I rub at the knot in my stomach. “Yes.”
Mist lights on the hair covering her shoulders and droplets cling to her eyelashes. It kisses her skin. I wonder what it would be like to touch her cheek as gently as that. To feel her yet not. The thought spurs my pulse into a marathon.
“What’s on the other side of the cliff?” she asks.
“Nothing.” I try to look away from her but can’t. We’ve never been this close. At least not consciously and not without anger driving us to it. A small divot marks the corner of her jaw, the mere hint of a scar. “Brisa’s kingdom lies in that direction, but the only way there is through the temple,” I add.
“I bet the view from the top is amazing,” she says.
“Probably, but there’s no way to get up there.”
She studies it a moment longer before saying, “There’s a waterfall back home.” Her focus on the cliff dulls and she rubs at her chest. “It’s on the other side of the island though, so I only saw it once and it wasn’t anywhere near this size.”
I nod, unsure where she’s going with this.
“What’s your favorite part about Kisk?” she asks carefully.
I shift my weight between my feet. “Are you regretting your choice not to save your country?” I ask sharply.
Her laugh is low, unamused. “No. I’m just curious.”
I pause but her expression remains neutral, like my answer doesn’t matter. Like she’s simply trying to find common ground and maybe she is. “Tabowi fruit,” I answer.
“Tabowi fruit?” Her voice rises and falls with each syllable, and she looks up a
t me with disbelieving eyes. “Out of everything you could pick, that’s it?”
“I could say the good-natured people, the crystal clear beaches, or the inviting culture, but it wouldn’t be the truth. Those things may endear Kisk to my siblings, but not me. Your military has never been the strongest, preferring instead to rely on easily-broken alliances. It’s location between Asgya and Volkana makes it an easy target.” I take a quick breath. “So that’s my answer.”
“But still.” She looks away. An unspoken thought shutters itself behind thick doors. “If you’re going with food, there are much more exciting things to pick.”
“Sorry to disappoint you.” A smile tugs at my lips. Then, because I can’t stop myself, I keep talking. “There was this place awhile ago that served it in something similar to a modern day crepe. It was worth the trip alone.”
She scrunches her nose. “Tabowi crepes?”
“It was thinner than a crepe, and I’m fairly certain it contained more sugar than fruit.”
“Well, in that case.” She smiles and a soft laugh floats in the air between us. It mixes with the rushing water to create its own music. The sound suspends me, shutting down my senses. When my hand rises to brush a strand of wet hair behind her ear, we both freeze. Reality slams down as fast as my arm does.
“What were you doing in Kisk that night?” Her voice is quiet. Strained.
“Working.” I draw a sharp breath. “You never answered my question,” I say before I can think better of it. “You disappeared after I won the last round of Fate.”
Pain lances her features. “You mean, why was I afraid of the others? I think that’s obvious now.”
Of course. Everyone thinks her brother is a traitor, and it was only a matter of time before the survivors took their anger out on her. Really took it out on her, not merely kept her on the outskirts. “But you didn’t know their plans that night.”
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