by Becky Lower
“So you no longer have a reason to stay here. Is that what you’re telling me?”
He shook his head, and a lock of hair hung over one eye. He brushed it back and faced her again.
“I have every reason to stay, Saffron, and it doesn’t involve my brothers at all. It involves you. I had hoped for a more romantic setting for my declaration, but circumstances being as they are, this will have to do.”
He rose from his desk and moved to where she was sitting, with her ham sandwich still in her hands. He knelt in front of her and gazed up.
“I’ve been in love with you for years, Saffron. Ever since you rescued me. Despite which avenue my future life goes down, I need a strong woman by my side. And I hope that woman will be you. Will you marry me and rescue me again, this time from a life of dullness? Because every day without you beside me will be excruciatingly boring.”
Saffron set her sandwich on the desk, wiped her fingers together, and stared at the man kneeling in front of her. She could barely breathe, and her heart raced. Zeke had proposed to her! She leaned over and kissed him. Then, she rose and grasped his hands, encouraging him to his feet.
“Of course I’ll marry you. I’ve been counting on it for three years now.”
He captured her chin with his hand and brought her lips to his. His tongue sought entry, and her mouth opened greedily to him. Their tongues sparred for a minute, and Saffron wrapped her arms around Zeke’s neck, pulling him closer. All she wanted was for the rest of her life to begin. The war had delayed things long enough. But the war was also the reason she’d met Zeke. And now, she would go to battle to have him in her life, with Halwyn, her father, and whoever else might stand in her way. She had learned to make a good pie crust. She certainly could master whatever else life thrust at her. As long as Zeke could be by her side.
• • •
Zeke hoped the moment would never end. It didn’t matter that they were in a tiny office space and anyone could wander in at any time. He could kiss Saffron for days on end and it wouldn’t be enough. Her lips were plump, and eager, and even without the taste of peaches, he still craved more. Would always crave more from this woman. His heart rate sped up as their kiss became deeper. But they had important things to discuss. He stepped back a pace, and his hand moved down her soft cheek.
“Well, if we’re to marry, we’d better have a plan in place for me to take to Halwyn. He’ll demand to approve of the union before we do anything.”
“You mean, now since you no longer are a farmer?”
“Yes. Sit, and let me tell you what our options are. Since we’re in this together, we should both be comfortable with our decision. I don’t ever plan to dictate what we should do. We need to be equal partners in our lives.”
She ran a hand around the back of his neck and kissed him once more, long and slow. Then, with a grin on her face, she sat.
“All right. I’m ready to talk, partner. What do you have in mind?”
He hauled his chair over so he could sit beside her, unwilling to relinquish the hold on her hand. He was still trying to corral his out-of-control heart rate and get his breath back. Saffron had accepted his proposal! He interlaced their fingers and then picked up their joined hands and kissed hers.
“There’s still time to catch up with my family before they head west in the spring. I told them if we chose to go west, we’d meet them in St. Joseph before the wagon trains started pulling out in March. Does life on the west coast have any appeal to you?”
Saffron’s face was pensive as she stared at the carpet on the floor. “It sounds exciting and such an adventure, going to a new life in a part of the country just now being settled, but I’m such a city girl. I don’t think I’d be able to adjust to having my life’s goods contained in the back of a covered wagon.”
“The covered wagon would only be until we arrived. We could end up in a city every bit as fancy as New York or DC. Maybe San Francisco?”
Saffron’s head came up. “My father has been meaning to start a branch of the bank in San Francisco, so possibly. Although since you have no banking background, he’d probably want you to spend time learning the business from him first, which would mean we’d miss the wagon train your family’s on. What is another option?”
“I could rejoin the military, continue my work here, and then be assigned to a post somewhere in the eastern part of the country once the program comes to an end.”
Saffron’s large blue eyes met his, and he caught the glint of excitement in them. It seemed they had an answer. But he had to be certain.
“So, a military life appeals to you?”
“If it will keep us close to my family, yes, it does. We could continue to work together here, since it will take years to retrieve all the bodies. We could set up our own living quarters, and I could get out from under Halwyn’s thumb. Then we can spend both our days and our nights together. I adore the idea.”
He ran his free hand through his hair, which was way too long for a military man. He guessed it would be the first thing to go. But if being in the military would make Saffron happy, he’d willingly cut his hair. And spend the rest of his life finding other ways to make her happy.
Zeke locked eyes with his intended. “Should we tell Halwyn about our engagement first, or tell him I plan to reenlist before we break the news?”
Saffron leaned in and kissed him again before she replied. His hand slid down her arm and skirted dangerously close to her breast. Now that they were engaged, maybe he could have more freedom with his explorations. But not yet. Not until they made it official.
“Perhaps if you were to declare your intent to reenlist, Halwyn would see you in a better light. He’s only being a protective older brother, but he mentioned not long ago he doesn’t appreciate the way you stare at me when I’m not paying attention.”
Zeke smiled at her. “How can I not stare, when you’re the prettiest girl in the room?”
Saffron batted her eyelashes at him and smoothed her gown. “Well, goodness, thank you. In your eyes, your fiancée should be the prettiest girl in the room. And may I return the favor and say you’re the most handsome man in the room? Which is why we make such a good pair. Now we merely have to convince Halwyn. But let’s keep our engagement a secret for now, until you reenlist. I do love secrets.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Halwyn’s office was much larger than the cubbyhole Zeke shared with Saffron. The desk he sat behind was massive and covered with piles of correspondence. Zeke hoped the man was so busy he’d be in and out within minutes. They hadn’t really talked to each other since the Christmas dance, when Halwyn had almost strung him up by the ears.
“How can I help you, Zeke?” Halwyn’s voice was frosty, his gaze uninviting. He didn’t rise from behind his desk, either, but Zeke was well aware of the raw power Halwyn exuded, both physically and mentally, as he was responsible for Saffron and her life choices. Zeke inhaled a deep breath and swallowed hard. This man was the key to his future.
“I hoped to discuss reenlisting in the army with you, sir.”
At least the unexpected topic changed Halwyn’s appearance. He motioned to the seat in front of the desk and leaned over the piles of paper, pushing his spectacles up on his nose as he did so.
“I was under the impression you needed to get back to the farm as soon as possible.”
Zeke quickly explained what had taken place over the holiday.
“So my choice now is to follow my family on the wagon train next spring and head to Oregon, or to again become a soldier. And I’ve decided I prefer to stay on the East Coast.”
“You’ve made a wise choice. What battalion were you with during the war?”
“The Twenty-Second New York Infantry, sir. I was at the second battle at Bull Run as well as at Chancellorsville.”
Halwyn nodded his approval. “Your battalion was in the middle of a lot of action. All right. I’ll get the paperwork started for your reenlistment. I assume you’ve told Saffron?”<
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“Yes, sir. I told her this morning. Why do you ask?”
Halwyn thrust his tongue into his cheek, trying unsuccessfully to keep the grin from his face. “She spent some time in Mother’s kitchen over the holiday learning her way around, that’s all. She even learned how to make pie crust.”
Ah, so that was it. Saffron had spent part of her time off over the holiday in the kitchen learning how to make him a pie. And now she thought it was all in vain, since they no longer had a farm to go to. Despite Halwyn sitting across from him, staring him down, Zeke couldn’t help but smile.
Halwyn blinked and lowered his eyes, finally, to the papers on his desk, signaling an end to their conversation. “All right then. I’ll get back to you as soon as possible, and we’ll get your reenlistment going. Since you were at both battlefields, you’ll be invaluable to the program, and as an enlisted man, you’ll have even more duties. We may even give you an office of your own.”
Zeke’s world crashed at the idea of moving out of the small office he shared with his love.
“That won’t be necessary, sir. I’m comfortable where I am.”
Halwyn stared at him. “You may be comfortable with the current arrangements, but I’m not. We only put you with Saffron in the first place because we had nowhere else to put you and we thought you’d only be here for a few weeks at most. If there’s any way of giving you private quarters, I’ll do so.”
Damn. Zeke rose to leave the office, with the feeling that in many ways the interview had gone better than expected. But moving from his current office was something he’d never considered. Halwyn viewed this as an opportunity to split up Saffron and him. Zeke had not even considered the possibility.
He’d better be on his toes in the coming weeks. Because Halwyn was a part of his future, and he wouldn’t hand over Saffron merely because it was what both Zeke and Saffron wished for. If Halwyn deemed Zeke unsuitable again, which he’d already done once, there would be no hope for them. The dreams he’d had of spending his nights with the woman he loved, and had loved for years, was in jeopardy. So instead of taking a step forward, he’d unwittingly taken a step back. Damn. Halwyn was a formidable opponent, and Zeke had underestimated him.
He made his way back to the shared office space. Saffron jumped up from her desk and ran into his embrace before he could even close the door. He inhaled her scent of woman, spice, and flowers as she kissed him, and all his doubts faded away. He plundered her mouth, searching its depths with his tongue. God, he loved kissing this woman. He’d fight for the right to do so, jump through any hoops, for as long as was necessary to get into Halwyn’s good graces.
“So, did Halwyn approve of your idea to rejoin the army?”
He kissed her again before he answered. “Yes, he seemed to be in favor of the idea. But I still get uneasy around him. And he threatened to find me another office, so we may not be able to work so closely together.”
Saffron laughed and twirled away from him. She returned to her seat, and replied, “He’s only looking out for me. He’d react in the same way to any man I showed an interest in. Please don’t take it personally.”
Saffron might be certain of Halwyn’s motives, but Zeke wasn’t so sure. He’d maintain his vigil whenever her brother was around.
• • •
Saffron hummed a merry tune and skipped along beside Halwyn on the walk home that evening.
“You’re certainly in a good mood, Saffy.”
“And why shouldn’t I be? Zeke’s back at work. I had feared he would never return.”
“And I was hoping for that very outcome. Regardless of how you feel about him, he’s not right for you.”
Saffron stopped walking and waited for Halwyn to notice she’d left his side. When he finally turned to her, she glared at him, and her voice whipped out, much like a rein over a horse’s flank.
“You keep saying he’s not right, but it’s not true. Did he not talk to you today about reenlisting?”
He flinched, much to her pleasure. “You obviously are aware he did.”
“So, he’s no longer a farmer, if that’s what you objected to.”
“I have nothing against farmers, Saffy. Don’t twist my words around.”
“Then what is it?”
Halwyn shook his head. “I’m only trying to protect you, Saffy, and turning you over to some young, brash man isn’t going to happen.”
“But if he reenlists and you still find him unsuitable, isn’t that setting a double standard? You’re military; he’ll be military. So what’s the difference?”
His hat came off, and Halwyn ran a gloved hand through his hair, tousling what had been a neat comb. “The difference is maturity. I have it; he doesn’t. Why, up until a week ago, he was going to be a farmer, taking over his father’s place. Now, all of a sudden, those plans have been scuttled. He’s a loose cannon, in my book.”
Saffron tossed her hair over her shoulder and laid a hand on her stomach, which was jumping so badly surely Halwyn would notice, even through her layers of clothing and a coat.
“Zeke is no loose cannon, Halwyn. His plans to take over the farm and to move his brothers from their hasty graves at Chancellorsville were scuttled by his mother, not by him. Immediately after his father died, his mother sold the farm to a neighbor. His mother, not him.”
Halwyn latched onto the hand she’d placed on her stomach and tugged. “Come on, let’s get home. It’s too cold to be standing outside having this discussion, heated though it is.”
Saffron was pulled along by Halwyn’s strength, even though she was furious with him. He had made up his mind that Zeke was unsuitable long before Zeke had come back with a change in his plans. And nothing was going to dissuade him. He was under the notion that she and Zeke had only met a few months ago. Halwyn wasn’t aware Zeke was the first boy she’d kissed all those years ago. And had mooned over for months, years, afterward. And she couldn’t disclose any of the facts of their prior meeting. She’d gotten into enough trouble when she’d disobeyed her father’s orders to begin with, and her lie about where she’d been, about deciding to take a ride through town to breathe some fresh air, was enough to have had her sent to her room for two months.
She couldn’t tell Halwyn what her real mission had been that day—that she’d transported a runaway soldier to the outskirts of town, and how she’d lived in terror for months wondering when his uniform would be discovered in the carriage house. How she’d run to the building as soon as she had been allowed out again and spent a long morning in Biscuit’s stall, digging a hole in the ground and burying the evidence, hiding the freshly turned soil under a mountain of straw. No, if she told him all of the details, she’d probably now be sent back home, to that same room, to another enforced confinement.
Saffron huffed out her frustration. She’d have to find a different way of showing Halwyn that Zeke was a good man, a marriageable man. And she’d have to do so quickly, if she ever hoped for kiss number eight. Maybe she could get Grace to align with her, and then she could convince Halwyn. Women banding together had worked for her older sisters. It was worth a try, anyway.
The three of them settled in around the dinner table, the children having been bathed and put to bed soon after Saffron and Halwyn arrived home. So, instead of childish chatter, a very adult quiet pervaded the room. Grace was the first to break the silence, picking up on the tension between Halwyn and Saffron.
“So, how is work going?”
Halwyn hesitated for half a second, buttering his dinner roll, before he said, “The boy has returned, Grace.”
Saffron’s hopes for an alliance with Grace slipped away with those few words. Obviously, Halwyn had been talking to her already about Zeke. And despite Saffron’s show of culinary abilities over Christmas, Grace had not changed her mind about Zeke’s suitability. Blast it all, anyway.
Grace’s gaze slid over to Saffron, and she could feel her cheeks warming and her jaw clenching as she attempted to control her ire. But s
he had never been any good at controlling her emotions. Grace was siding with Halwyn. As the youngest in the family, Saffron had learned long ago to forge her own path. She could, and would, handle this by herself. She lifted her gaze to meet Grace head-on.
“The boy, as Halwyn refers to him, is a full-grown man. And he’s decided to enlist in the military, which puts him on equal footing with Hal. And I’m in love with him.”
Saffron caught the quick exchange of glances between the couple, and her stomach pitched. “Oh, dear,” Grace replied. “Please don’t be so impetuous. Isn’t it a bit early for love? You barely know one another.”
“Well, unlike you and Halwyn, I don’t need seven or eight years to make up my mind.” Only three, she fumed, wishing she could elaborate but instead bit her tongue.
Halwyn flung his napkin onto the table. “Since you won’t listen to our cautionary advice on the subject, I have no choice except to separate the two of you. You can no longer share an office. I mentioned it to Zeke today when he said he wanted to stay on.”
Saffron’s life was coming undone as the meal progressed. She had to do something, and fast. “But we’re both working on Chancellorsville!”
“So are a lot of other people. I’ll simply switch out places with someone else. Put another woman in the room with you. Possibly Suzanne Miller.”
Saffron rolled her eyes. “Please, Halwyn, anyone but Suzanne. But Zeke and I won’t let your enforced separation split us up. If anything, it will strengthen our position that we need to be together.”
Halwyn tugged on his hair and puffed in exasperation before he picked up his napkin again. “I will agree to let him court you, if that’s what you both want, but you will need to be properly chaperoned. And having the two of you in a private office together is not going to work.”
“But we work together so well!” Saffron couldn’t quite keep the hitch from her voice.
“Those are my conditions, Saffy. If you desire to keep seeing this boy, you’ll behave in a manner befitting your social station. And that means being chaperoned at all times. Being behind closed doors all day with him in a small room does not work for me.”