Toby texts me and briefly glances in my direction.
Toby: She said she’s coming.
Becca: Good. We’re going to convince her.
Toby: I love you.
Becca: I love you too.
Meredith walks backstage. “What do you want, Toby?”
“We need to talk.” His voice shakes.
“If you’re thinking of trying to change my mind, you’re wasting your time.”
“You know it’s a lie. Why would you do this? I thought you cared about me. At one point, I know you did.” He steps closer to her, and the desperation in his voice breaks my heart.
“That was a long time ago. Before you dumped me for that nobody.”
I take a deep breath to keep from rushing out there and showing her just how much of a somebody I really am.
“Don’t talk about her like that. You don’t get to say anything about her. Just leave her out of it.”
“She won’t be left out when this all goes down. You know that, right? It’s not just my life you tried to ruin. You’re ruining hers too.”
“No.” I don’t mean to say it out loud, but I can’t help it. It just comes out. I step out of the shadows and toward Meredith. “You’re doing this. You ruined your own reputation when you made Toby pretend to date you again. You’re trying to ruin his life now with this blatant lie. And if I go down with him that will be your doing too.”
“I’m pretty sure I can live with that.” She crosses her arms, not caring at all that she’s hurting either one of us.
“And what are you going to do when we prove you’re lying? Everyone will hate you. No guy will date you after a lie like that. You’re going to be ruining your own life too.”
She lowers her arms. “And how are you going to prove I’m lying? It’s my word against his. You weren’t there, Becca. You have no idea. I’m surprised you’d date a guy who’d force a girl to sleep with him and then kick her to the curb anyway.”
“I didn’t do that. You came on to me!” Toby’s shaking. He’s not just pissed; he’s terrified. “I never even brought up sex. You did. And I turned you down three times before…” He looks at me and stops, and I’m thankful for that. I don’t want the details. I don’t need them. I already know Meredith is the one who’s lying.
“Tell yourself what you’d like. Whatever you need to do to sleep better at night.” She turns and tries to walk away, but I grab her arm.
“Wait!”
She glares at my hand on her. “Get your hand off me before I get you suspended.” I lower my hand because I know she’ll do it. “Look at you two.” She scoffs. “You’re perfect for each other.”
For once I agree with her. “Get out of here. There’s obviously no reasoning with you. You’ve completely lost your mind.”
“And you’re about to lose everything.” She walks off the stage, and I go to Toby. He’s shattered. I can see it in his eyes.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come out and attacked her like that. I just couldn’t stand there anymore and listen to her…Ugh!” I want to scream. I want to ram my fist straight into a wall. No, straight into Meredith’s face.
“It’s not your fault. She wasn’t going to listen to me anyway. It’s over.”
I grab his hand. “No, it’s not. We still have time. It’s only Tuesday. We have until last period on Friday. We’re not giving up yet.”
“I wish Tori was on our side. She’s the only one who’s ever stood up to Meredith.” His mouth curves into a small, weak smile. “Well, other than when you shoved a wet dishtowel in her mouth and dragged her up the steps.”
“Want me to gag and hog-tie her until after graduation?” It’s a really bad attempt at lightening the mood, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m trying to remain optimistic, but the truth is, I’m pretty much as shot as Toby. Things look worse than bad.
He gives a feeble attempt at a shrug. “Maybe I should talk to Tori. She might be able to stop Meredith.”
“Tori isn’t going to listen to either one of us right now. She’s majorly pissed, and rightfully so.”
“Then I’m screwed.” He steps through the curtain and sits down on the edge of the stage. We always stay hidden in case the security cop walks through, but today, that doesn’t seem to matter much. I sit down next to him.
“We’ll talk to Tori. Together.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He looks away, and I can only imagine what Tori’s been saying about me behind my back.
“Go ahead. You can tell me.”
“This is coming from Jeff. He’s the only one still talking to me after Tori told everyone what we did. Even Ryder’s keeping his distance—though I’m sure that’s because Tori’s making him.”
It’s amazing how quickly Tori’s risen to the top. I’d think Meredith would be too busy trying to fight Tori for control of the school to mess with Toby and me, but maybe that’s exactly it. Maybe she doesn’t think she can fight Tori, and this is the only way to get people to like her better. By pitying her. By sympathizing with her. It’s completely twisted and sick, which means it must be exactly what she’s doing.
“Did you change your mind about wanting to know?”
I nod. It doesn’t matter what Tori’s saying. She has the right to be mad, to lash out. “Meredith is scared of Tori. Think about it. Tori’s gotten too powerful in this school. She’s dating Ryder, who is still ‘big man on campus’ even if he isn’t playing baseball this year.”
“Meredith definitely lost points after Tori told everyone about us. She gets the sympathy vote for being cheated on—even though that’s not at all how it really went down. But still. She’s not the one on top anymore.”
“No, she’s not, so we have to go above her.” I have to beg for Tori’s forgiveness, and then somehow get her to do me a favor afterwards. I’m so screwed.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
While Toby is in detention, I drive to Tori’s house. I decide seeing Toby and me together would only piss her off more. Going alone—while totally terrifying—is the only way. I use the hidden key under the welcome mat to let myself in because I know there’s no way Tori would willingly open the door for me.
I head straight for her room, knowing that’s where she’ll be. The door is shut, and even though the polite thing to do is knock, I let myself in.
Her head jerks up, and her eyes widen at me. “What the hell? Get out of my room! How did you even get in the house?”
“Tori, please. I need to talk to you.”
“I have nothing to say to you, Becca. You betrayed me. You went behind my back and you destroyed our friendship. Now go! I don’t owe you anything, and I’m certainly not going to sit here and listen to more of your lies.”
“This isn’t for me. It’s for Toby.”
She narrows her eyes. “What makes you think I’d want to help him either? He’s half of your deceitful little pair.” She gets up and tries to push me back into the hallway, but I dodge her and step fully into the room.
“Meredith is going to accuse Toby of forcing her to sleep with him.” I get the words out as fast as I can, making sure she hears them. “Please. He’s your brother—your twin. Meredith is going to destroy him. And not just at school. Something like this sticks with a person. He doesn’t deserve this. You know he didn’t do it. That’s not him.”
She whirls around on me. “He doesn’t deserve it?” A twisted laugh comes out of her mouth. “Maybe he does. Maybe this is payback for what he did to me. What you both did to me. Whatever you both get, you deserve it, even if it’s at Meredith’s hand.”
Who is she? This isn’t my best friend. She’s completely consumed by rage. “You can’t really believe that.”
“Don’t tell me what I believe. You have a hell of a lot of nerve, you know that?” She points to the door. “I want you gone. Now. Or I’m calling the cops.”
“Go ahead.” She sounds like Meredith, threatening to press charges on me. “Meredith may beat y
ou to it, though.”
“I heard what you did to her.”
“I did it because of you. She was going to try to destroy our friendship. I couldn’t let her.”
“No, because you did that all on your own. You didn’t need any help.”
“I know. I went about it all wrong. Believe me, I get that. I feel awful, Tori.”
“So awful you’re going to break up with Toby?”
What? Is that what she wants me to do? “You can’t be serious.”
“What if I am? What if the only way I’ll even think about forgiving you is if you don’t see him anymore?”
“I…” I can’t do that. I know I can’t. “Toby isn’t just some fling. Why can’t you see that? I’m in love with him.”
“Get out.” Her voice shakes, and I can’t help wondering if she’s about to burst into tears. “You’re no better than Meredith. You used me. Used me to get to him!”
“You think I was your best friend for seventeen years just to get to Toby? Are you listening to yourself right now?”
“Insult me. That should help your cause.” She scoffs at me.
“I didn’t mean to insult you. I’m only trying to show you that we’re best friends because we get each other. We always have. Until now.”
“Yeah, because you went behind my back. God, Becca, you did this. You have no right to accuse me of anything.”
Accuse her? “I’m not.”
“Yes, you are. You’re going to say my rule is stupid. That I never should’ve enforced it. That none of this would’ve happened if I’d let you be friends with Toby in the first place.”
“You think I blame you?”
She stares at me, her eyes red and full of tears. “Don’t you?”
“No.” I step toward her, but she backs away. “I blame myself. I should’ve been honest with you, but I thought that would only hurt you. I thought maybe if you saw how much Toby and I care about each other, you’d see the rule wasn’t necessary. But I was wrong. I shouldn’t have tried to prove you wrong. I should’ve just talked to you like my best friend.”
“You need to go.”
“No, Tori. Please.” I thought we were making progress. Why is she kicking me out?
“I’m done.”
“But I’m not. I don’t want to lose you or Toby. Can’t you see that?”
She nods and the tears spill from her eyes. “You just don’t get it. I can’t. I can’t be second to him, but I can see I already am. So I’m done.” She turns and walks out on me. I hear her car start in the driveway and watch out the window as she drives away. I drove her out of her own house.
***
“You tried. I appreciate that.” Toby sits on my bed, fidgeting with his hands.
“I really thought I was getting somewhere. She cried. She broke down, and I thought maybe she was going to forgive me or at least tell me that with time she’d get used to us being together.”
“Stop thinking about it. It’s over.”
I sit down next to him and lean my head on his shoulder. “It can’t be.”
“Then why is it?” He kisses my forehead. “Look, after Friday, I’ll understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
I jerk my head up. “What?”
“You don’t have to go down with me. There’s no reason to let this lie bury both of us.”
I shake my head and swallow the lump in my throat. Leaving Toby after this kind of accusation will make him look guilty. I’m not about to do that. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ve waited seventeen years for us to be together. Meredith isn’t taking you away from me.”
He looks down at the floor. “If she goes through with it, I’m asking my parents to send me to my aunt’s.”
“To live?” I squeeze my pillow in my hands to keep from jumping out of my skin.
He nods.
“You’re just going to leave?” That would look like he was admitting his guilt.
“What choice will I have? No one here is going to talk to me.”
“I will.”
He frowns, and I get it. I’m not enough to pull him through this. Having one person on your side when the rest of the town is against you isn’t enough. I feel sick to my stomach.
“I—”
“I’m sorry, Becca. I wish I could say I’m sorry I kissed you that day in my room when I started all of this, but the truth is, I wouldn’t take back one second of the time we’ve spent together.”
I break down and cry. If he hadn’t kissed me, he wouldn’t be in this mess, yet he wouldn’t take it back. How can the universe let Meredith Ackles, bitch supreme, take down someone as sweet as Toby? “It’s not fair.”
“We still have two and a half days together. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather spend them with you in my arms than worrying about Meredith. Friday’s going to come no matter what we do. We can’t change it.”
I’m not sure what he’s actually asking me. Is this about sex? Because I can’t sleep with him knowing he’s going to leave and never come back. “I can’t.”
“That’s not what I meant. I really just want to hold you.”
“Oh.” I feel guilty for even thinking he’d use the situation to get sex. In a way that made me no better than Meredith, and that’s not what he needs right now. “I’m sorry.”
“If you don’t even believe me, I’m really screwed.”
“I do believe you.”
He nods, but I can tell it’s not sincere. I lean back on my bed and pull him to me. Instead of kissing me, he lays his head on my stomach. I run my fingers through his hair. We stay like that, not talking, not doing anything but holding each other, until my dad makes him go home for the night.
I barely sleep, and first thing in the morning, I text Tori.
Becca: Please, think about what I said. Meredith is going to accuse Toby at the pep rally. Forget about forgiving me. Don’t let her destroy your brother.
I wait, but no reply comes. I’m not surprised. Toby and I hold hands between classes and do all the things he swore made couples get tired of each other. And he initiates all of it. I know he’s not trying to make me get tired of him. He just wants to be together as much as possible before he leaves. I don’t ask how he’ll convince his parents to let him move in with his aunt. I kind of assume once they hear the rumor, they’ll understand and want him to move away. I just hope they don’t believe a word of it. I hope they know their son is one of the good guys.
I skip my afternoon classes, choosing to hide out with Toby on the bleachers. The gym classes haven’t started coming outside yet, so no one catches us until last period when the security cop does his rounds in the parking lot and hauls us into Vice Principal Davidson’s office.
“Well?” Davidson drums his fingers together in front of his face. “Which one of you would like to explain why you felt the need to cut your afternoon classes and sit on the cold bleachers for hours?”
Neither of us says a word. I don’t want to make this worse. I just want my detention because that’s more time I can be with Toby.
“Fine. Since neither of you wants to talk, it’s a week of detention for you both. Mr. Michaels, that means you’ll have detention all of next week as well. And I’ll be calling both of your parents.”
Wonderful. Mom and Dad are going to ground me for at least a month, and I’m sure they’ll put an end to Toby tutoring me too.
Davidson looks back and forth between us. “Go. I don’t want to see either of you right now. Just know I’m highly disappointed. A few weeks ago, neither of you had any prior infractions, not a one. Now, you’ve both gone off the deep end.” He shakes his head and waves us out of his office. “Just go. I can’t look at you anymore.” I refrain from telling him that he’ll be seeing us in about ten minutes when detention starts.
Toby walks me to my locker. “Sorry I got you in trouble.”
“Are you kidding? It was my idea. I wanted to get detention.”
“Why?” His brow wrinkles.
He takes my hand in his and kisses the back of it. “I don’t even know what to say except you’re amazing.”
Every moment with him feels like a good-bye. Maybe because I know that’s where we’re headed. To a good-bye.
Davidson separates us the second we walk through the door, so we’re reduced to texting and staring at each other for the hour.
Toby: I probably shouldn’t come over tonight, huh?
Damn it. I can’t let my parents keep me from seeing him. We don’t have much time left together.
Becca: Yes, you should. Just wait until after my parents go to sleep.
Toby: Sneak in?
Becca: Why not? I’m already grounded. What’s the worst that can happen?
Toby: I hate that I’m making you into this person who lies and sneaks around. I never wanted this.
I look over at him and sigh.
Becca: You didn’t. And like you, I wouldn’t take it back.
Toby: I love you.
Becca: I love you too.
After detention, I go home and face two hours of my parents’ screaming. I tune them out after about thirty minutes. I can only take so much of “We’re so disappointed in your lack of judgment. What would make you think it was okay to skip class for a boy?” I can’t tell them the truth. They’ll end up making me break up with Toby. They’re too overprotective to blindly accept Meredith’s accusation as a lie.
When they’re through yelling, I go to my room and lock the door. I text Toby.
Becca: Come now.
Toby: Already here. Parked next door.
Becca: At Meredith’s?
Is he crazy?
Toby: Tried to reason with her one last time.
Becca: Any luck?
Our Little Secret Page 19