by Nalini Singh
Get outside the walls.
It was a command from that newly awakened section of his brain. He listened. The second he exited the den, those firing sparks turned into a firestorm. It was as though he could feel Brenna screaming. Shutting down everything else, he concentrated on following that odd psychic echo. The instant he had a link—an inexplicable link—he began running. He found them twenty minutes from the den, no car in sight.
Road likely blocked in some way they couldn’t clear. Forced them to proceed on foot. Ambush.
Cool Arrow calculations in a dark corner of his mind as he took in the scene: Andrew lay on the ground, Riley and Brenna on their knees on either side of him. It was immediately clear that the fallen SnowDancer wasn’t breathing. His pulse was also absent when Judd placed his fingers against the other man’s throat—not surprising, given the size of the hole in his chest.
Brenna shook, looking to him with eyes gone wild with grief. “Judd.” The clothing on the right side of her body was dirtied with muddy slush, her face slightly scratched.
Standing, Brenna’s head reached just over Andrew’s heart. Putting together the visible facts—Andrew’s wound, the dirt on her—Judd reconstructed the scene in milliseconds. The bullet had been aimed for Brenna’s head. Andrew had sensed danger at the last moment and shoved aside his sister. He’d saved her life, but hadn’t been fast enough to dodge the bullet himself.
He saw Riley doing CPR and knew that that wouldn’t be enough. Andrew’s heart was obviously shattered, the sniper’s bullet having hit it at the exact spot to cause maximum damage. He couldn’t feel an exit wound, which meant the bullet had to be lodged within the mangled flesh. Judd touched Brenna’s cheek in a fleeting caress, his mind going at a hundred miles an hour. “Stop, Riley.”
Riley raised a face strained white. “We have to keep going.”
Judd put a hand on the other man’s shoulder. “His heart is damaged. I need to fix it.” He had never done anything like this, never even considered that he could. His job was to stop hearts, not repair them. But he knew the finest details of how the organ functioned—to destroy you had to know how things worked. “Breathe for him but don’t touch his heart.”
Riley didn’t argue. “Do it.”
The first thing Judd did was send a Tk shock to Andrew’s shattered heart, starting it again, hopefully in time to keep his brain alive. As Riley bent to blow breath into his brother’s lungs, Judd used Tk to keep that heartbeat going. Then he began picturing what needed to happen to the destroyed cells for Andrew’s heart to beat on its own.
He’d have to reconstruct the damaged section from the cellular level up, putting the SnowDancer’s heart back together like the most intricate of jigsaw puzzles. The problem was, some of the pieces were missing or too damaged to function. New pieces would have to be created from somewhere. Judd wasn’t an M-Psy, but he could move things, make them change shape…smooth over scars by manipulating the cells. A child’s trick given new purpose.
At no point during the operation did he stop thinking. He had to be absolutely correct about the precise degree of each and every cellular movement. One mistake and Andrew’s heart would not beat after Judd stopped making it beat. That was an outcome Judd couldn’t accept…because it wouldn’t be only Andrew’s heart that would break.
A slender hand clasped his shoulder at some stage and he knew it was Brenna. Her touch should have destabilized him, but it did the opposite. It anchored him. An abnormal reaction he’d have to consider later, when his mind had room for thoughts other than the methodical repair of a heart that had been blown to pieces.
“Jesus,” Hawke whispered from beside Brenna, so many hours later that the light was starting to fade. The alpha and several others had arrived soon after Judd—she’d somehow gathered enough calm to call the den using Riley’s phone. Hers lay forgotten in the car.
She knew what had caused Hawke’s surprise. They could literally see Drew’s skin shifting. At first, it had seemed an illusion, but then she’d realized her brother’s horrific wound was disappearing second by slow second. Four hours into it, something metallic had pushed up out of the wound. The bullet.
Fingers trembling, Brenna had taken it as soon as it rolled free and handed it to Hawke, who’d wrapped it in a piece of cloth torn from the shirt he wore under his jacket. That had been an hour ago. Judd hadn’t spoken or looked away from what he was doing the entire five-hour stretch, Riley had kept breathing for Drew, and Brenna had held on to Judd, instinct telling her it was the right thing to do.
Judd suddenly lifted his hands from Andrew’s chest. “Riley, move.” His voice was rough, holding the rust of disuse.
Riley broke contact and a bare instant later, Drew’s body jerked as if an electric shock had passed through it. Brenna gritted her teeth, knowing that Judd had just tried to restart her brother’s heart after stopping whatever it was he’d been doing to keep it going. But there was so much blood on Drew’s chest! Her hand clenched on Judd’s shoulder. He reached up to touch her fingers for a second, staining them dark red. “His heart is beating on its own. He’s breathing.”
Disbelieving, she came close enough to touch Drew’s neck. His pulse beat strong and powerful. Shaking, she pulled out and used the edge of her own shirt to wipe away the blood. “Please.” Please let him be safe.
Riley was the first to see it. “It’s gone.”
Then she saw it with her own eyes. The wound had ceased to exist. Under the blood, Drew’s skin was pink and tender but it was unbroken. She turned to the man by her side. “Judd, oh, my God.”
He didn’t seem to be able to focus on her. His eyes had gone black at the start then slid back to normal near the end. Now, they were close to dazed. Worried, she pulled back from Drew. “Baby, what’s wrong?” Putting her hands on his cheeks before she realized she had blood on them, she leaned close. “Judd, speak to me.”
“Flameout.” A single word and then his eyes went pure black again, the whites disappearing as before. Except this darkness held tinges of bloodred. It terrified her. She expected him to fall unconscious but he shook his head. “One hour.”
“One hour.” She remembered his disappearance after he’d teleported her during the hyena situation and made the connection. He had to be in a safe place within the hour. “Okay, okay.”
Andrew coughed at that second and she switched her attention back to him, aware of Judd doing the same. After a few more coughs, her brother’s lashes lifted to display familiar blue eyes. “What the hell happened?”
Sobbing, she kissed his cheek. He struggled to raise his arms to hold her but didn’t seem to have the strength. “Hey, sweetheart. Come on.”
“You lost a lot of blood.” Judd’s voice. “Full recovery will take time.”
She broke away from Drew to hug Judd. “Hold on,” she whispered in his ear, knowing he wouldn’t want to display weakness in front of the others. “Can you walk?”
A small nod, but she didn’t really believe him, not with the way his face was losing color. This was worse than at the cabin. She got to her feet. “Let’s get them both inside.”
Her comment snapped everyone to attention. Within seconds, Drew was loaded onto a stretcher someone had had the foresight to fetch, and Riley and Tai were carrying him off to the den. Lara hovered anxiously at his side. Dismissing the other men, Hawke went down on his haunches, threw Judd’s arm around his shoulders, and dragged him upright.
“To my room,” Brenna directed.
Hawke didn’t argue and not much later, Judd was in the bedroom. He supported himself, one hand on the wall. “No assistance.”
Hawke looked to Brenna. “Is he serious? I’ll have Lara in here as soon as she checks Drew out.”
“No,” Judd said again.
She wanted him in bed. “He’s still conscious and able to make a decision,” she said to Hawke. “Let him recover in peace and he’ll be fine.” If not, she would get the medics herself.
Hawke scowled. “
If you need anything, holler.” He glanced at Judd. “What you did today—I’ve never seen anything like that. I didn’t think it was possible. Get some rest and then we’ll talk.” He left.
Brenna was the only one who heard Judd’s reply. “According to my trainers, it isn’t.” He swayed on his feet.
She rushed to hold him up. “In bed. Now.”
“I need to shower.”
About to say absolutely not, she realized he was covered in sweat and blood. It would hardly make for a restful sleep. Helping him into the cubicle, she began to tug at his clothes. He stopped her with a hand on her wrist. “No.”
She was ready to push him off when she saw the look on his face. Pure male pride. “Fine.” She sighed. “But if I don’t hear from you in five minutes, I’m coming in.”
Walking out, she kept every one of her senses on high alert as she turned down the bed and whipped up a high-energy drink from a mix Drew often used. The shower turned off after exactly four minutes.
By the time she got back into the bedroom, Judd was asleep. Putting down the drink, she brushed damp hair off his forehead, the tenderness in her heart overwhelming. “God, I love you.” She kissed his temple and for a second it felt like something in him responded. But he was out cold.
Shaking her head, she got up and began to pick up the clothes he’d left crumpled on the floor in what struck her as a very uncharacteristic bit of messiness.
Ironically, Drew was up and around before Judd. He came knocking twelve hours later, just after she’d finished breakfast—a bit of a misnomer, as she hadn’t actually slept, too worried about Judd. He was in such a deep sleep, she kept checking to see if he was breathing. “How are you feeling?”
“Fantastic for a guy who apparently had half his chest blown off.”
She was careful when she hugged him, aware the repaired wound had to hurt. “Drew, you stood in front of that bullet for me.” It had happened so fast she still couldn’t sort out the sequence in her head.
He laughed. “I meant to push you in front of it. Damn.”
“Idiot.” Sniffling, she broke the hug. “I love you.”
“That’s what baby sisters are for.” He opened his fist to reveal the bullet she’d picked off his chest. “Do you know the name of this little piece of evil?”
Her gut roiled at the sight of that twisted piece of metal. “No.”
“ShrapnelX. Illegal as hell.” His expression was pure fury. “It’s meant to spread into five sharp points on impact and claw its way through anything it touches.” He put it into a pocket. “Which makes me a walking miracle. I’m told it’s thanks to your boyfriend.”
“So he’s my boyfriend now?” A very important concession.
He scowled. “Don’t rub it in. Lara says I’m missing some flesh from lower down in my chest and that’s just what we can see—it’s like he moved bits to fill in the gaps.”
“He did.” She’d seen it happen in front of her eyes. “Will you be lopsided?” She was trying very hard not to cry. A world without Drew to fight with was unimaginable.
He hugged her anyway. “Nah. It’ll fill back out.” A pause. “Probably.” His arms tightened. “So, where is he?”
“Sleeping,” she said against his chest. “And no, I’m not waking him—he’s exhausted. I’m so glad you’re okay.”
He crushed her to him. “Hell, I’m not going anywhere. Need to stick around to make sure he treats you right.”
“He will.” She smiled and leaned back enough that she could look up at him. “Don’t judge him by his Ice Man persona. He’s different.”
“No, he’s not, sweetheart,” Andrew said. “I think Judd’s the same as any wolf in the den—he simply hides his animal better.”
Coming from a changeling, being called an animal was the highest of compliments.
CHAPTER 33
Judd woke to the realization of a warm female body curved into his, her back to his chest. He hadn’t put on anything before crashing and Brenna was only wearing what felt like a thin slip that had pushed up during sleep to bare her legs all the way to the top. One of his arms was being used as a pillow, while the hand of his other lay on the smoothness of her upper thigh. Their legs were tangled, one of his pushed between hers.
Skin-to-skin contact all over. But not so much as a hint of dissonance.
He checked his shields and found them secure. His power reserves were another matter altogether. He was tapped out. When he glanced at the time laser-projected onto the facing wall, the color a deep green, he realized why. Despite the darkness, it was just after noon—Brenna had likely turned off the simulated daylight. He’d slept for seventeen hours at most and his psychic abilities needed close to twenty-four to regenerate. However, physically, he felt fine. It didn’t make sense, but he wasn’t complaining.
Feeling very alive and very male, he moved his hand over Brenna’s thigh. She murmured and heat spiked in his gut. He waited for the pain response to kick in and punish him for breaking conditioning. It never came. His hand clenched on her.
“Judd.” A sleepy complaint.
He gentled his touch. “Sorry.” Kissing the curve of her neck, he waited for the pain again. Nothing. “It’s tied to my abilities.” Of course. That was why the dissonance had been so extreme, why he’d started to bleed. Because that was how his Tk worked—by applying pressure.
“What is?” She sounded half-asleep.
“The dissonance.” They’d used his own abilities to punish him. It made perfect sense—linking his abilities negatively with emotion reinforced the need to repudiate that emotion, which, in turn, kept his telekinesis from getting out of control.
But now he was wiped out, which meant that while the dissonance controls still existed, there was nothing for them to draw power from. More importantly, until his abilities regenerated, he was no danger to Brenna. He could touch her, taste her, love her. He was hard before the thought ended.
Moving his hand up her thigh, he felt the lace edge of her panties, so delicate under his fingers, but not as delicate as her skin. Sliding a finger under that edge, he ran it down to brush her curls.
“Judd!” A gasp to full wakefulness. “What are you doing?”
“Touching you.”
Her head shifted on his arm. “Oh.” A whisper. “Doesn’t it hurt you?”
“No.” Spreading his fingers, he cupped her as he had once before.
She squeaked out a cry. “Baby, you heard of foreplay?”
He might even have smiled had he known how to do it. “I’m just getting started.” The heat of her burned his skin. “I’ve had a really long time to plan.”
“P-plan?” She coughed as if to clear her throat. “What do you mean—plan?”
He pulled his hand out of her panties to run his finger along the waistband, pushing up his thigh at the same time to rub more intimately against her. His erection throbbed at the proximity. “I thought I should be prepared if the opportunity to touch you without danger ever came to pass.”
Her stomach muscles contracted under his palm. “Is it a detailed plan?”
“Very.” He breathed in the scent at the curve of her neck, then kissed.
She shuddered and tried to turn but he only allowed her halfway, keeping their lower bodies intertwined. Then he braced himself on one elbow and simply looked at her. This close, the darkness was no barrier to his visual mapping of her features. Her eyes glowed a little, especially the flare of blue around the pupils.
It fascinated him. “Beautiful.”
She reached up to tangle her hand in his hair. “Let me turn properly.”
He pushed his thigh higher, pressing into the damp heat of her. Her gasp was both startled and inviting. He moved his thigh back and forth a couple of times. Her eyes fluttered shut. “Tease.” It was a husky accusation.
“On the contrary. I intend to deliver.” He tugged her hand from his hair and nudged her back into her previous position, spooning his body around her.
S
he made a displeased sound. “I can’t touch you this way.”
“I know.” They called him the Man of Ice, but where Brenna was concerned, he was anything but. If she stroked him, he wouldn’t be able to complete even a tenth of his plan. And for a man who’d been hungry as long as he had, a quick bite held no appeal. He wanted to linger, to gorge, to indulge. With that thought in mind, he ran his hand back under her slip and over the warm silk of her skin. “Is your skin this soft all over?”
Her heart thudded under his touch as he went higher. “Some places are even softer.”
“Now who’s the tease?” He ran his thumb along the underside of one breast.
Her hand clenched on his forearm. Kissing the side of her neck once more, he repeated the stroking caress but went higher. Again. Higher. He could feel her holding her breath as he lingered just below her nipple.
“Judd, please.”
He flicked his finger across the tightly furled bud. She cried out and asked for more. He didn’t give it to her. Instead he retreated to draw a slow circle low on her navel.
“I’m going to kill you.”
He chuckled and it was a sound he’d never before heard come from his own throat. “Patience is a virtue.”
She seemed about to reply but then he began retracing his prior journey, his goal her neglected breast. She went quiet.
Anticipation lingered in the air and he was so sensitive to its touch he could almost taste it. Her skin flushed with heat, her breathing jagged. And when he touched her breast, the rhythm of her heart turned into a staccato drumbeat. This time, he didn’t flick her nipple but closed his hand over the firm, hot rise of her flesh. “Your breasts make me want to bite.”
She arched into his hold, her hand squeezing his arm. “Do it.” A dare. An invitation.
“Not yet.” That would accelerate something he was determined to draw out forever. “I want to savor my first bite.”
Her claws nicked his skin. “No more playing.”
He bit her neck in response, making her tremble and withdraw her claws. “So impatient.” Not giving her any warning, he slipped his hand down and under the waistband of her panties again. Spearing through her curls, he pressed his thumb on her clitoris at the same time as he used his fingers to tease the damp entrance to her body.