Who knows the Atman
Knows that happiness
Born of pure knowledge:
The joy of sattwa.
Deep his delight
After strict self-schooling:
Sour toil at first,
But at last what sweetness,
The end of sorrow.
Who cares to seek
For that perfect freedom?
One man, perhaps,
In many thousands.
Then tell me how many
Of those who find freedom
Shall know the total
Truth of my being?
Perhaps one only.
As she found herself singing these songs of God, she began to wonder if she might be the one to find truth and understanding. It was worth striving for, and she had gone in search of it.
But before arriving in India to pursue her studies, she had gone to England to arrange for her mother to accompany her. And it was only a few hours after her arrival at Pryor’s Cove that Lord Stane came to see her. When she told him of her decision to go to India to take up the serious study of Hindu philosophy, Stane, while he was interested, was also shocked. For many years he had heard the reports of Englishmen, who, for the government or other interests, had been sent to India, and recalling these he felt that India was no place for a young and beautiful woman.
Stane understood well enough by now that Berenice was more to Cowperwood than a ward, and that there was some sort of shadow over her mother’s past; but he was still in love with her, and felt that even with her social handicaps, his own life would be mentally and spiritually happier if she were near him and he could enjoy her companionship and her liberal and intellectual viewpoint. He would, in fact, consider himself fortunate to marry such a charming and distinguished temperament.
But when Berenice explained to him what had been crystallizing in her mind these past few weeks since Cowperwood’s death, and how convinced she had become that she would receive mental and spiritual help there, away from the Western world and its crass materialism, he was inclined to defer his personal desires in connection with her until such time as experiences of her own might have clarified all the various conflicting emotions and interests which now for the time being dominated her. And so he made no particular reference to his feeling for her, except to say that he hoped she would be willing to avail herself of the advice of his good friend, Lord Severence. For, as she knew, Severence was richly informed as to prevailing conditions in India, and would be glad to be of service to her. Berenice replied that she would be happy to receive any advice or aid that Lord Severence wished to give her, although she knew she would be led directly to whatever it was she needed. As she said: “Something appears to be drawing me like a magnet, and I feel I shall not be deflected in any way.”
“In other words, Berenice, you believe in fate,” said Stane. “Well, I believe in it, too, to a degree, but plainly you have the force and the faith that will cause your desires to be realized. And now all I can think of in relation to all this is that you will be willing to call on me for any service whatsoever that I may be able to render. I hope you will write me from time to time and inform me of your progress.” And this she promised to do.
After which Lord Stane took it upon himself to make all the arrangements for the departure of Berenice and her mother for India. This included the securing of several letters of introduction from Lord Severence. And Bombay being the city chosen by her to visit, he obtained the necessary passports and tickets, and subsequently saw them off.
Chapter 77
Arriving in Bombay, Berenice and her mother were impressed by the approach to this beautiful city. From the sea a long wide waterway, studded with mountainous islands, led to the city. On the left towered a group of stately buildings, and far to the right the palm-fringed shore of the mainland, gradually rising to the peaks of the Western Ghats in the far distance.
In Bombay itself, bearing a letter to the management of the Majestic Hotel from Lord Severence, they were granted a most courteous and gratifying service for the entire period of their stay. So much so that they were moved to remain for several weeks in order to explore the city’s many contrasting characteristics as opposed to those of the Western cities. And, to their delight, they were richly rewarded by their many varied impressions. The wide thoroughfares, dotted with oxcarts hauling merchandise; the crowded bazaars, with their richness and variety of display and seething with people of many races and religions, many of them scantily clothed and barefooted peoples of every color, from light brown to black: Afghans, Sikhs, Tibetans, Singhalese, Baghdad Jews, Japanese, Chinese, and many others. But, ah, the poorer and more emaciated groups: thin bodies, sunken chests, many of them running with jinrikishas here and there about the city, past beautiful buildings, richly ornamented temples, the university, all bordered with palms: coconut, date, palmyra, areca catechu, fruit and nut, as well as gum trees. In sum, new tropic sights and peoples, which held their constant interest until they finally left Bombay by train for Nagpur, a city lying to the east of Bombay on the main line to Calcutta.
The reason for this was that they chose to follow the directions offered them by Lord Severence, who had advised that they search out one Guru Borodandaj, who was spoken of by him as the Dissolver of Matter and Controller of Energy, and who resided near the city of Nagpur, where travelers were accepted from time to time at a simple frame building of ancient design overlooking a square in the heart of the city.
No sooner were they settled than Berenice, eager to continue her quest of the Guru, started out with her letter of instructions from Lord Severence. As directed she followed the main north and south highway which ran through Nagpur until it came to an old and somewhat dilapidated structure which looked like an abandoned mill. Then she took a sharp turn to the right and walked along a deserted cottonfield for about half a mile, which brought her to a grove of large blackwood and teakwood trees, so closely planted as to shut out the bright heat of the sun. She knew instinctively that this was the abode of the Guru, for Severence had described it accurately. Hesitating and looking about dubiously, she saw a rough and narrow path winding inward toward the center of the grove. This she followed to the point where it ended. There she saw a large square, semi-decayed wooden structure, which, as she learned later, had once been a government administration building controlling the forests of which this grove formed a part. There were several large openings in the walls which had never been repaired, and these, in turn, gave into other chambers, equally dilapidated. In fact as she later learned, the abandoned building had been given to Guru Borodandaj for his classes in meditation and his demonstrations of power, through Yogi, to control all internal physical energy.
As she somewhat timidly approached, the silence and shade of the tall, overhanging trees somehow suggested a realm in which solitude and peace prevailed: to her a much needed peace, since the world she had left behind was entirely unacceptable and unsatisfactory to her. As she walked toward one of the inner buildings, a dark and elderly Hindu woman appeared before her and beckoned her toward an arched-over court, which led to a rear building, saying at the same time: “Come right through here. The Master awaits you.”
Berenice followed the woman through a shattered segment of wall, past some broken bowls scattered about a few logs which were evidently used for benches. The Hindu woman then pushed open a large, heavy door, and Berenice, after removing her shoes, stepped across the threshold.
Her eyes fell on a dark, lean-faced, lengthy figure, seated, Yogi fashion, on a large white cloth in the center of the room. His hands were folded between his knees as though he might have been praying. However, he neither stirred nor said anything, merely turned on her his deep, almost black, penetrating and searching eyes. And then he spoke:
“Where have you been?” he asked. “It has been all of four months since your husband died, and I have been expecting you.”
Startled by this inquiry and his attitude in g
eneral, Berenice involuntarily receded several paces as though she were truly fearful.
“Do not be frightened,” said the Guru. “Fear has no place in Brahman, the Reality which you are seeking. Instead, daughter, come and be seated.” And he waved a long thin arm toward the white cloth on which he was sitting, indicating the corner of it which she was to occupy. As she sat down, he began to speak.
“You have come a long way to find that which will give you peace. You seek your own Samadhi, or your union with God. Is that not true?”
“Oh, yes, Master,” replied Berenice, in great wonder and awe. “That is true.”
“And you feel that you have suffered greatly from the ills of the world,” he continued. “And now you are ready for the change.”
“Yes, yes, Master, yes. I am ready for the change. For now I feel that perhaps I have injured the world.”
“And now you are ready to repair that injury, if possible?”
“Oh, yes; oh, yes!” she said, softly.
“But are you ready to devote some years to this labor, or is this a passing interest?”
“I am ready to devote years to the study of how I can repair the injuries I have caused. I want to know. I feel that I must learn.” Her voice was anxious.
“Yet that, you know, requires patience, labor, self-discipline. You become great by obeying that which Brahman teaches.”
“Oh, I will do anything that is necessary,” said Berenice. “It is for that purpose I came. I know I must learn to concentrate and meditate in order to be wise enough to repay or even repair.”
“Only he who meditates can realize truth,” said the Guru, as he continued to study Berenice, until at last he added: “Yes, I will take you as a disciple. Your sincerity is your admission to my class. You can attend tomorrow the class in breath control. We will discuss high breathing, mid-breathing, Yogi complete breathing, nostril breathing. Holding the breath is like holding life in the body. It is the first step. And this is the foundation on which you will build your new world. Through it you will achieve non-attachment. You will lose the suffering that comes from desire.”
“Master, for rest of the spirit I would give up many things,” said Berenice.
The Guru paused for a few moments of silence, and then he began, almost solemnly:
“The man who gives up living in fine houses, wearing fine clothes, and eating good food, and goes into the desert, may be a most attached person. His only possession, his own body, may become everything to him, and as he lives, he may be simply struggling for the sake of his body. In truth, non-attachment does not mean anything that we may do in relation to our eternal body. It is all in the mind. A man may be on a throne and perfectly non-attached; another may be in rags and very much attached. But when man is endowed with spiritual discrimination and illumined by knowledge of the Atman, all his doubts are dispelled. He does not shrink from doing what is disagreeable to him, nor does he long to do what is agreeable. No human being can give up action altogether, but he who gives up the fruits of action is said to be non-attached.”
“Oh, Master, if I could gain but a slight portion of this great knowledge!” said Berenice.
“All knowledge, my daughter,” he continued, “is a gift of the spirit; and only to those who are grateful in the spirit will knowledge unfold like the petals of the lotus. From your Western teachers you will learn of art and the sciences, but from your Eastern masters, you will discover the inner mystery of wisdom. You are not educated when merely you are well-schooled. You are truly educated only when you are enlightened by inner truth. For inner truth takes dead facts and makes them live; it inspires the heart to the use of knowledge for the service of others. It is through the heart, not the intellect, that the Lord is seen. Do good for its own sake. Then alone will come perfect non-attachment.”
“I will work hard to learn the breathing exercises, Master,” said Berenice. “I know enough about Yoga to realize that it is the foundation of all illumination. I know that breath is life.”
“Not necessarily,” said the Guru. “If you wish to see, I will show you now that there is life where there is no breath.”
He picked up a small mirror, which he handed to her, saying:
“When I stop breathing, hold this mirror in front of my nose and mouth, to see if you can detect any moisture on it.”
He closed his eyes, and then by degrees his body became more erect and statue-like in its steadiness. He seemed to have fallen into a deep stupor. Observing him, Berenice waited, holding her palm near to his nostrils. Minutes passed before she felt his breathing to be lighter on her hand. And then, to her surprise, it stopped. There was no least trace of rhythmic breathing. She waited. And then she took the mirror and held it in front of his nose and mouth for a few seconds. There was no trace of moisture on it. Rather, as she could now see, respiration had ceased, and he seemed like an image cut in stone. At that, she nervously consulted her watch. Ten long minutes passed before she saw a trace of respiration, and then it assumed perfect normalcy. For the Guru, seeming very tired, opened his eyes and looked at her and smiled.
“What a wonderful demonstration!” she exclaimed.
“I can hold my breath thus for hours,” said the Guru. “And some Yogins keep the locked breath for months. There have even been cases where Yogins have been locked in airtight vaults for weeks, and yet have emerged in perfect health. Besides this,” he continued, “the control of the heart beat is but a similar test. I can stop it completely, for the connection between blood and breath is very close, as you know, perhaps. But that I will show you another day. You will learn that breath is but the expression of a subtle force which hides in the vital organs, though it is unseeable. When it leaves the body, the breathing stops, in obedience, and death is the result. But through the control of breath it is possible to get some control over this unseen current.
“But this, I must tell you, is the study of Raja-yoga, which will come only after you have worked some time on the study of Hatha-yoga. So now, since you look a little tired, you may go, and come tomorrow, at which time you may begin your studies.”
And with this Berenice knew that her interview with this most unusual man was at an end for the day. And yet, as she reluctantly left his presence, she felt that she was leaving a great reservoir of untouched knowledge. And as she retraced her steps along the crude road over which she had come, she felt she must walk a little faster, for she knew by now that the Indian night comes quickly on the heels of evening, and there are no lingering sunsets as in Europe or America; rather, a swift, dark approach that suggests lonely envelopment.
As she once more neared the village of Nagpur she was suddenly overcome by the beauty of the sacred Hill of Ramtek, with its gleaming white temples, a landmark which dominated the entire surrounding country. And here she stopped to meditate on the exquisite beauty of the scene, held spellbound by the distant sounds of steady chanting of the Hindu mantrams which slowly rose and floated through the thin air. She knew that these were the voices of the holy men of Ramtek, who gathered at the end of the day to intone the sacred syllables of their faith. At first their voices sounded like a low murmur, soft but sweet, but as she drew nearer, the tempo of the chanting became like the steady beating of a great drum. And then it was as though her heart changed its rate of beating to conform with the pulse of this great God-seeking, spirit-loving land, and she knew that this was the realm in which she would find her soul.
Chapter 78
In the course of the next four years, Berenice practised many different phases of Yoga discipline, the first of which was the Yoga posture, which is used to keep the spine straight and make the body so firm, when one is sitting in meditation, that one does not feel it. For Dhyana—meditation—according to Yoga, is non-attachment. And when the spine is straight, the coiled-up Kundalini (triangular in form at the base of the spine) is aroused and rises through the Susumna, up the spine to the seven plexuses or centers of consciousness, finally ending with the Sahas
rara, the highest or thousand-petal lotus of the brain. When this highest state of consciousness is reached, according to Yoga, one has achieved Samadhi, or super-consciousness. But whether or not one’s power of Kundalini reaches this last point, one’s perception is enlarged and elevated to the degree of its rise.
Berenice studied Pranayana—the control of the vital forces of the body; Pratyahara—or making the mind introspective; Dharana, or concentration; Dhyana—meditation; and often compared notes with some of the other students who were attending classes with her: one Englishman and one young and highly intelligent Hindu, as well as two Hindu women. In the course of time she studied Hatha, Raja, Karma, Jnanai, and Bhakti Yoga. She learned that Brahman, the Reality, is the total Godhead. It can never be defined or expressed. The Upanishads say that Brahman is Existence, Knowledge, and Bliss, but these are not attributes. Brahman cannot be said to exist. Brahman is Existence. Brahman is not wise or happy, but absolute Knowledge, absolute Joy.
“The Infinite cannot be divided into parts, and be contained in the Finite.
“This entire universe is pervaded by me, in that eternal form of mine which is not manifest to the senses. Although I am not within any creature, all creatures exist in me. I do not mean that they exist within me physically. That is my divine mystery. You must try to understand its nature. My Being sustains all creatures and brings them to birth, but has no physical contact with them.
“But if a man will worship me, and meditate upon me with an undistracted mind, devoting every moment to me, I shall supply all his needs, and protect his possessions from loss. Even those who worship other deities and sacrifice to them with faith in their hearts, are really worshiping me, though with a mistaken approach. For I am the only enjoyer and the only God of all sacrifices. Nevertheless such men must return to life on earth, because they do not recognize me in my true nature.
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