by Anne Hampson
‘I’m sorry, dear Beth, if I hurt you. I shouldn’t have. Will you stay?’
She stared at him, dazed and disbelieving.
‘You sound as if you really want me to stay, Chad.’
‘I do want you to stay,’ he returned. ‘It’s important that you stay.’
Again she stared, something quivering in the region of her heart.
‘Important?’ she said.
‘Yes, Beth, important.’
‘Because of the legacy?’ She waited, breathless, for his answer even while only vaguely aware that she did not want him to say it was because of the legacy.
But what did she want him to say ...?
Chad was smiling enigmatically as he spoke.
‘Yes, my dear, because of the legacy.’
She seemed to shrink in his arms as her spirits sank within her. For the legacy—he wanted a clear conscience.
She swallowed hard, only now aware of the lump that had risen in her throat while she was waiting for his answer to her question.
‘I see ...’
‘I wonder if you do?’ he rejoined, an odd inflection in his voice.
‘But of course I do. You want a clear conscience.’ She paused, waiting, but he remained silent and she went on, in a flat and toneless little voice,
‘I’ll stay, Chad,’ and after that another silence ensued before he said, tilting her chin so he could look into her eyes, searching, probing, right into their depths,
‘I believe, my dear, that you had no intention of leaving.’
Thoroughly disconcerted, she blushed and began to stammer out some incoherent words, but he stopped her mercifully with a finger on her lips.
‘I can’t say I blame you for that little act, Beth. I deserved that you’d want to deceive me.’
She said nothing, and she let him kiss her as he bent his head to find her lips. She was too drained to protest, and in any case, she was desperate for the touch of his lips on hers, yearning for the caress of his hand.
She thought: this is a very strange time to discover that I love him, when he’s hurt me and been unkind to me—Yes, a strange time indeed...
CHAPTER SEVEN
Both Jo and Carole were determined in their resolve to return to England, but they agreed to write to their uncle first and warn him. They were a trifle concerned about Beth and tried to persuade her to return with them, pointing out that if they all three went back then their uncle would have to become resigned, since he could not cut them all out of his will.
‘Of course he can,’ argued Beth reasonably. ‘He can leave it all to charity.’
‘He’d never do that,’ said Jo emphatically.
‘I don’t want to go home.’ Beth hesitated before her next words, undecided as to whether to tell them that she had made a promise to Chad that she would stay. However, she did tell them, noticing their surprise, and she fully expected to be questioned as to why he should have wanted the promise from her.
‘It’s strange that he’s got enough interest,’ mused Carole, looking at Beth as if she could not take her eyes off her.
‘He’s concerned about my losing my share—’
Beth stopped and frowned; she hated intensely the
discussing of her uncle’s money, and quite suddenly she wanted him to spend it all on himself, to enjoy the years he still had left to him. She would write and suggest he take a world cruise, she decided.
‘But he wasn’t concerned that Jo and I might lose our inheritances?’ There was an odd inflection in Carole’s voice, and in addition what she said immediately afterwards was also odd. ‘I wonder why he’s taking so long about getting engaged to Rosa.’
Beth blinked at her.
‘What has that to do with what we’re talking about?’ she wanted to know.
Carole shrugged then and passed it off, but she strongly urged Beth to think carefully about remaining at Jacana Lodge on her own.
‘Although we’ve admitted that there isn’t much work involved in the running of this place,’ she went on, ‘there is the responsibility. It’s too much for one person, in my opinion.’
‘I daresay Chad will help me,’ returned Beth confidently. He had said they’d be fighting all the time, but Beth rather thought that he would come over just the same, to advise and help her when difficulties arose.
‘Think about it,’ Jo interposed in support of Carole. ‘It’ll not be any fun here on your own, with only Sara and the houseboy for company.’ She looked at Carole, frowning. ‘You know, although I want to go home, I’m troubled about Beth. Perhaps we ought to have second thoughts ...’
Her voice trailed away to silence as Beth shook her head.
‘Look, Jo, we’ve each got to do what we want to do. If I wanted to go home I’d come with you both. I don’t want to go and I’m determined not to be persuaded to do so. Why, then, should either you or Carole change your minds because of me?’
‘Well ... it it’s okay ...?’
Beth nodded her head.
‘Perfectly okay, Jo.’
The following morning Beth woke early, just as the sun was coming over the hills. She opened the window, to breathe deeply of the crisp tangy air that was delightfully cool on her face. The sun’s rays were pale gold and brittle, creating diamonds of the frost on the mealie stalks. Winter ... But it was never really cold here, in this part of the Transvaal. What was spring like? It was a little difficult to imagine spring coming in September, and Christmas being in the middle of summer. January, February and March were the summer and autumn in the southern hemisphere, and just now, in the northern hemisphere, it was summer. Beth had been here at Christmas once and thought it was wonderful to be having dinner in the garden. Uncle Jack had thrown a party and Chad was there. Beth recalled how she had kept out of his way after thanking him stiffly for the perfume he had bought her for a Christmas present.
She thought of the spring again, that would be here in three months’ time. There would be jacarandas everywhere, lacing the garden with their delicate blue flowers; there would be a glorious show of hydrangeas and agapanthus lilies ... blue-mauve and beautiful.
No, she thought, she would never dream of going home—in spite of her feelings for Chad, and the misery she might have to endure.
The following day Carole went off to spend the afternoon at Doug’s house. He had had his dinner party, which was a huge success, thanks mainly to Carole’s endeavours in the preparation of the meal and the expert cooking of it, and now he had decided to have a braaivleis. He and Alex would cook the chops and sausages and steaks on thornwood embers out in the garden, but he wanted Carole’s help in preparing other dishes—sauces and salads, and he wanted a rather special dessert made which he had seen in a recipe book.
Jo was outside, wandering about the garden looking bored. Beth watched her through the window for a while before going out to join her where she was now standing, on the fringe of the lawn, staring at the mountains, sharp-edged against the clear African sky. To one side of her, slender poplars waved gently, sending little eddies of light and shade on to the smooth green grass, and on to Jo’s angular figure. She was tall and her thinness was accentuated. Beth, like her uncle, had always found something subtly attractive in Jo’s figure, but Jo herself declared she would be happier when she reached the age where she would automatically put on more weight. She turned as she heard Beth and smiled. But it was a forced smile which brought a sigh to her cousin’s lips. It was a shame that her cousins had not taken to this place—they had appeared to at first, and had even said on a couple of occasions that they were lucky to have been given this opportunity for spending a year in the sun.
Well, they had become discontented and that was that. As Beth had told them, if she had wanted to go home then she would have done just that.
‘I wondered if you’d like a trip into town?’ she said, and was gratified to see Jo’s eyes brighten.
‘I’d love it! Not that I want to buy anything, but the trip’ll relieve this d
arned boredom.’
‘Aren’t you looking forward to Doug’s barbecue?’
‘Of course, but it’s hours away yet.’
‘I wonder how many people will be there?’
‘Not too many. Chad and his lady-love and one or two couples we’ve met at the Club. Carole seemed to think there’d be about a dozen of us.’
‘That’s not many, but enough for Doug. He’s only just finding his feet as regards entertaining.’
‘He’s going to miss Carole. I expect he’ll be back where he was when she’s gone, because he hasn’t a lot of confidence.’
‘No,’ reflectively from Beth. ‘Carole’s helped him to come out of himself, I think.’ They were on their way back to the homestead, as Jo wanted to get her handbag.
‘Perhaps I had better take some money,’ decided Beth as an afterthought. ‘I might go into the bookshop and find something to read.’
They drove along the familiar road with its tall gum trees, its bungalows perched on the hillside, its ochre-coloured dust which rose in a cloud behind the car and made the round-eyed little children laugh and run out to become enveloped in it.
‘Let’s have a drink first,’ suggested Jo as they entered the town and made for the car-park in the tree-shaded square. It was an interesting town to Beth, with its shady square and tree-lined streets, its imposing bank and cinema, its shops that seemed to sell all that one could possibly need. A few market stalls displayed luscious fruits and fresh green vegetables. ‘I prefer the Club tearoom,’ added Jo as Beth stopped the car beneath a spreading plane tree. ‘I just fancy a couple of their cream cakes and a vanilla.’ Beth agreed and they went over to the Club. It was only a quarter past three, but afternoon tea was being served, outside in the shady garden where tables with gay cloths were laid with crockery in blue and gold.
The girls sat down, Beth’s eye becoming instantly focused on a pretty green lizard that was sitting stock still on a rockery stone at one side of her. It seemed to see an insect, for it darted, lightning-swift, and was lost to sight among the other rockery stones.
‘Look who we have here!’ Jo’s voice made Beth turn her head. Chad was walking into the garden, Rosa at his side. He saw the girls and came towards them, his eyes flickering to Beth for a swift moment before he said,
‘Good afternoon, girls. Mind if we join you?’
‘Not at all,’ from Jo without hesitation, and Beth suspected she was glad of the company as a diversion from the ennui that had settled upon her again. Rosa spoke, without apparently having the faintest regard for courtesy or tact.
‘There’s a vacant table over there, Chad.’
He slanted her a glance, then flicked a hand towards one of the vacant chairs at the girls’ table. He pulled it out for her and Rosa sat down. She looked faintly uncomfortable and Beth said to herself, ‘Serve her right!’ and cared nothing at all for the conviction that she was being bitchy. Chad eased his long lithe body into another chair and an inconsequential conversation ensued while they waited for the appearance of the waitress.
‘Are you going to Doug’s braaivleis tonight?’ Rosa asked, glancing at each cousin in turn.
‘Yes, we’re going,’ from Jo. ‘Carole’s over at his place at the moment, helping him with the preparations.’
‘She is?’ Rosa looked interested. ‘Are they friends, then?’ She managed a dazzling smile, but Beth suspected it was forced. She had plainly wanted Chad to herself, over in that secluded corner by the palm trees.
‘We’re all friends of his,’ answered Jo.
‘I meant—are they special friends?’ Rosa made play with those lovely hands of hers, waving them before her, centre fingers together. Oh, yes, she knew all the tricks, decided Beth with a swift glance in Chad’s direction to see if he was watching the girl or if her efforts at affectation were being wasted. Chad was looking at Beth herself and she coloured delicately and fluttered him a smile. Rosa’s eyes narrowed slightly, but her charming demeanour was resumed on the instant that Chad’s eyes turned to her.
‘I don’t know if Carole and Doug are special friends or not,’ returned Jo non-committally. ‘She’s merely being neighbourly over the question of the barbecue.’
The conversation ceased as the waitress appeared, note-pad in hand. Jo ordered her cakes, while Beth had hot buttered scones and strawberry jam. Chad had a sandwich and Rosa tea and nothing else. Troubled about her figure, was she? Beth looked at her curves and decided she would get fat when she was around forty. She could not imagine Chad with an overweight wife. His own physique was so perfect that an overweight wife would appear ludicrous beside him. Beth’s thoughts brought an involuntary smile to her lips. She was being really catty—and enjoying it! Chad’s voice, dry and satirical, came quietly to her as he said,
‘I’d offer a penny for them, Beth ... but I rather think my timing would be wrong. Remind me to put my offer when we’re alone.’
Beth blinked and gave a start and coloured all at once at the unexpectedness of that remark. Jo’s eyes widened a little, while Rosa’s glinted and her mouth went tight.
‘It sounds as if you two have a secret,’ she said, looking straight at Chad.
He laughed imperturbably and leant back in his chair, teetering it on its two back legs.
‘Beth and I have many secrets, haven’t we, my child?’ So familiar his attitude! It was bound to be noticed, yet he could not be more untroubled by the interest of Jo and Rosa. Nor did he miss the darkling frown that swept fleetingly across Beth’s brow. His eyes glimmered with mocking amusement; it was for her alone and she knew instinctively that he was fully aware of the fact that, had they been on their own, she would have shot him one of those poison darts he was always talking about. And then it struck her that if they had been alone this kind of situation would never have arisen. She said, in answer to his question,
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about, Chad.’
He said, ‘Liar,’ but with his eyes only, and she suddenly saw the amusing side of it all and had the almost irrepressible urge to laugh outright. But he would laugh with her and that would only increase
Jo’s puzzlement and Rosa’s anger. For it was an undoubted fact that she was angry. She hated the familiarity that existed between Chad and Beth. Beth would have been obtuse had she not seen that the girl was wild with jealousy; she would not have been human—and a woman—if she had not enjoyed the other girl’s jealousy!
And Chad, in his perception, missed nothing at all.
But, thought Beth with satisfaction, he had no idea that she was in love with him ... and he never would, since she knew for sure that she could successfully keep it to herself. But a hurt was there within her, and jealousy as well. She wished Rosa had never even been born!
And she was wishing it again on the same evening when, at the barbecue, Chad gave most of his attention to the lovely Rosa. She was dressed—or overdressed according to Carole—in a Lurex evening trouser-suit, with a matching scarf holding her hair in place. She wore diamonds and sapphires on her wrists and ears; she even carried a bag that would have seemed more fitted to a formal dinner-dance at the Dorchester Hotel in London than at a braaivleis where everyone else was in slacks, shirts, and sweaters.
‘She’s so affected, both in her clothes and mannerisms,’ said Carole disparagingly. ‘What on earth does Chad see in her?’
‘She’s decorative,’ returned Jo, ‘and she has a fortune, so naturally he’s interested in her. We’ve discussed all this before.’ The three cousins were together by the fire, waiting for Alex to cook them cutlets and sausages. There was a most appetising smell filling the air, and the burning thornwood was a subtle addition that blended even while it retained its own uniquely pleasant odour.
When they were served they moved over to the table where the sauces were set out in dishes with a spoon in each. Chad was there, on his own; Beth glanced round automatically for Rosa, but she was nowhere to be seen.
‘These sauces are super.’ It was
not like Chad to be enthusiastic about anything and his praise brought colour to Carole’s cheeks. ‘What have you put into this one?’ he asked, helping himself to a second spoonful.
‘My secret,’ she laughed, sending him a glance from under her lashes. ‘Employ me as cook and I’ll serve you up far more succulent ones than these.’
Chad laughed. But his voice was serious when he spoke.
‘You’re leaving us, though, remember.’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Pity. I thought all three of you were enjoying your stay.’
No answer from either Jo or Carole, and for the next few minutes they ate in silence, Beth’s mind still on Rosa as she wondered who the girl could be.
‘I think I want another cutlet.’ Jo looked at Beth. ‘Coming with me for some more?’
Beth shook her head.
‘I haven’t finished what I’ve got yet.’
‘I’ll come with you,’ offered Carole, and they went off together leaving Beth alone with Chad.
‘Where’s Rosa?’ she just had to ask.
‘Why? Do you want her for something?’ There seemed to be a hint of mocking amusement in Chad’s voice and Beth glanced up at him quickly. His face was a mask, impassive and unreadable.
‘No, of course not. I was merely curious because she isn’t with you.’
Chad took up a cutlet and stared at it for a space before putting it to his mouth.
‘I didn’t realise you were so interested in Rosa,’ he remarked in an expressionless voice.
‘I’m not!’
He lifted his brows a fraction.
‘There’s no need to start a fight here, Beth. I’m sure I haven’t given you any provocation.’
‘What are you doing now?’ enquired Beth in a tone of acid sweetness.
‘Trying to be sociable.’
‘Then your efforts lack something!’
‘With you, my child, it takes more than effort. It requires exertion.’