by Frost Kay
His head snapped up.
“You were talking out loud,” Gwen grumbled.
“Sorry.”
“You should be.”
Thoroughly chastised, he contented himself to hold the captain’s hand while his sister readied the thread and needle. Gwen brushed aside Lilja’s hair and froze, squinting at the straight pale lines on her neck.
“What in the hell?” she whispered, looking up at him with wide eyes. “What are those?”
“Gills.”
“What?” she gasped, leaning closer to get a better look. “How?”
“I don’t know.”
“What is she?”
“A damn dirty Sirenidae,” came a voice from behind them.
He and his sister both jerked and turned to see Joseph hovering in the doorway wearing a look of disgust. “Get that creature out of my home.”
“She’s hurt. She needs care.”
The old man slashed his hand. “I won’t have their kind in my home.”
Gwen straightened. “I don’t care what you think. I’m not throwing out an injured woman.”
The old man’s face reddened. “Now listen here, Gwen, you’re like one of my own, but you don’t understand what they can do to you. They’re dangerous.”
“Does she look dangerous to you?” Gwen flung a hand out.
Joseph’s lips thinned. “I don’t like it.”
“Well, too bad. Go get some rest. You need it.” His sister turned her back on Colm and his father. Colm ushered his father out of the room, then rushed back in with Gwen’s needles.
Hayjen eyed the needle skeptically. “You sure you know what you are doing? You hate sewing.”
His sister’s scowl deepened. “I can sew a damn straight line. Butt out.”
Colm hid a grin behind his wife’s back that made Hayjen burst out laughing.
“Do you find this funny?”
“No,” he gurgled. “It’s just, could this night be odder?”
Her lips lifted into a slight grin. “I doubt it. Now quit messing around and hold her still.”
He held her head and forced himself to watch as Gwen sewed the cut closed, one small stitch at a time. Lilja’s eyes fluttered and one eye cracked open. “Gwen?”
“I know.” She tied the thread and tugged. “Done.”
Hayjen stared down at Lilja’s one open eye. “It’s okay, you’re safe.”
Quicker than he could have expected, she knocked him off the table. The air rushed out of him as he smashed into the floor and stared up at the woman crouched defensively on the table, her pupils blown wide. One hand clutched her head, the other held the bottle of spirits. Her odd eyes darted around the group of people.
“What do you want with me?”
Gwen held up her hands in surrender. “Nothing. You were hurt and we were helping you.”
“With drugs and needles?” Lilja spat, shifting as her entire robe gaped open.
Colm’s head snapped to the wall, studiously ignoring the body on display.
“I didn’t give you any drugs. The herbs and spirits were to keep the wound from being infected. You managed to hit the front and back of your head. Also, your robe is open.”
The pirate ran her hand to the back of her head and winced. “That hurts,” she muttered, doing nothing about her nudity.
“I imagine so. If you’ll get down from the table, I’ll clean it and bind it for you, but you need to put the bottle down.”
“I don’t know you.”
“I’m Gwen, that’s my husband Colm, and the one on the floor gaping at you is Hayjen, my brother. I believe you know him already.”
Her eyes latched onto the sight of him slipping the bottle from her fingers. “Indeed. I don’t feel so good.”
Hayjen kept his eyes on her face and launched from the floor, catching her before she fell off the table unconscious.
Gwen hurried to his side and closed Lilja’s robe with a good knot. “We need to move her to a bedroom. Maybe we can tie her to the bed so she can’t hurt herself.”
“Tie her to the bed?” Colm questioned.
“Did you not just watch her almost hurt herself?”
“Yes, but don’t you think it would scare her when she wakes up?”
“Good point, my love.” She turned her gaze back on Hayjen. “I guess it’s up to you to check on her all night. Did you see her eyes? She has a concussion.”
“I thought so,” he whispered as he stared into the captain’s face. He lifted her body from the table and followed his sis through the house to his room. When he gave her a look, she shrugged.
“This is the only one available. It’s not like you’ve been using it since you got here.”
That was true.
He placed her on his bed and stepped back, allowing Gwen to work. Once his sister had arranged the bedding and the woman to her liking, she stepped to his side, still staring at Lilja.
“We have a lot to talk about in the morning.”
Hayjen swallowed. “I know.”
Gwen pierced him with a look when she glanced up. “I love you. Goodnight.”
“Love you.”
She placed a soft kiss on his cheek and tiptoed out of the room. He moved the chair from the corner next to the bed and groaned as he sat. What a night. Emotion after emotion rolled through him, wearing him out to the point where he just wanted to sleep so he could forget how stupid he’d been. Shame at what he had caused was still acute. Hayjen plucked the pirate’s hand from the blanket and held it. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry. I was wrong.”
He was sure he’d pay for it.
Chapter Eleven
Lilja
Her head pounded.
What had she done last night?
Lilja cracked her eyes open and slammed them shut, the light causing pain to pierce behind her eyes. She lifted a hand to her head and whimpered when her whole body cried out. Why did everything bloody hurt?
“Shhhhh…” a male voice soothed. A large hand smoothed back her hair from her face. “You’re okay.”
She didn’t feel okay. It was like she’d been thrown from a horse. Lilja wet her cracked lips and tried to speak, only managing a croak.
“One second.”
A chair scraped back, causing the pain in her head to flare. Cool metal was pressed to her lips. Reflexively, she opened her mouth and gulped down the cool water. She sighed as the water soothed her parched throat. “The light,” Lilja murmured. Fabric rustled and then darkness descended. “Thank you.”
She braved opening her eyes and peeked out of one at the room. It was simple. A sturdy side table, a trunk, and a large man in the corner. Her eyes widened at the sight of Hayjen. He looked haggard. His shirt was askew and stained, his hair rumpled, and dark circles under his eyes. “When’s the last time you slept?” she blurted.
He barked out a chuckle. “Not a full night since Mer.”
Mer.
Her breathing stuttered as she remembered the night before. Hayjen surprising her. Falling. Hayjen discovering her secret. The pain. Then darkness. His gaze never left her face as she remembered. She had many questions, but she settled on, “Where am I?”
“My home.”
That really shocked her. “Your home?”
“Do you remember anything?”
Lilja winced. “The last thing I remember is you scrambling away from me.”
He frowned. “You hit your head.”
“That would explain the pain.”
His lips thinned further. “There was a lot of blood. I didn’t know where to take you because of the…” he gestured to his neck. “So I brought you home. My sister knows a little healing.”
Her hand went to her gills self-consciously. They had sealed completely. Hayjen’s eyes rested there and then darted back to her eyes.
“She gave you stitches.”
“Thank you for caring for me.”
“Don’t thank me. It’s my fault you’re hurt in the first pl
ace.”
“It was an accident. You didn’t mean to push me into the desk.”
“I had a dagger at your neck.”
True, but she didn’t think he would have done it. “I spent enough time with you on that ship to know that you wouldn’t hurt me, no matter what you said.”
He shifted, agitation in the movement. “You’re wrong. You don’t know what I was thinking, Lilja.” Hayjen’s eyes squeezed shut. “I wanted to hurt you.”
Sympathy filled her. “Grief tends to change us.”
“That doesn’t excuse my actions.”
“No,” she sighed, “but it explains them. Lucky for you, grief and I have been close companions in the past. I am familiar with how it works.”
Hayjen lifted his eyes, shame coating him like a cloak. “I am so sorry.”
“I know, and I forgive you.”
Shock filled his face. “I don’t deserve it.”
“Most of us don’t.” Lilja carefully pushed up from the bed, ignoring the pain. “That’s why forgiveness is so precious. It’s a gift.”
Silence filled the room as he took that in. He nodded to himself and gestured to the chair. “May I sit?”
“It’s your house.”
He smiled at that, managing a chuckle as he sat. They gazed at each other in silence for a few minutes before he spoke up. “So where does that leave us?”
“Us?” she questioned.
“Are you going to hurt my family?”
She frowned at him, making her headache even worse. “Why would I do that?”
“We know your secret.”
That was a problem. “Can I trust you? Can your family take my secret to the grave? It’s not just my life that depends on it.”
“We will keep silent.”
“Then we don’t have a problem.”
He leaned toward her and stared harder.
Lilja stared back. “Something interesting?”
“Where did they go?” he asked curiously.
She gestured to her neck. “They seal after a couple hours. They’re only visible after I have been in the ocean.”
“Huh,” he grunted. “And Mer?”
“She won’t get her gills until she hits puberty.”
Another grunt.
“Use your words.” she teased.
“I had a lot of time to think last night. If I hadn’t seen your g-gills,” he stuttered over the word, “I wouldn’t have believed you. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that not everything is as it seems in the world.”
“Some truths are a burden to bear.”
“Indeed.” Hayjen lifted his scarred wrists. “Sometimes we wear them, too.”
“You’re not alone,” she whispered, staring over his head. “The Scythians will pay for what they’ve done.”
“That sounds personal.”
“It is personal.”
“Care to share?”
Her eyes dropped to his steady gaze. He opened his arms with a wry smile. “You saved and jailed me. I’ve threatened and fought with you. You’re one of the few that know I was captured by the Scythians, and I’m one of the few that know you’re a Sirenidae. We’re practically family.”
She chuckled at his warped logic. “Oddly, that makes sense.”
“I saw how you looked at the Scythians on the slaver ship. More than justice was in your eyes. You were seeking vengeance.”
Her laughter died as she sobered. “They took something very precious from me.” Lilja stared into his blue eyes and found herself wanting to tell him her story, to commiserate. “Many years ago, the Sirenidae decided to recede from society. They could see what Scythia was becoming. They could see the perversion in their ideals, so they disappeared into the sea and away from the kingdoms. Every hundred years or so the decision would be revisited and voted on again. It was safer for our people to stay below, but there was one Sirenidae that thought it was wrong to leave the kingdoms ignorant of Scythia’s experiments. She wanted to help all people, not just her own. She held ideals that maybe Scythia had changed over the years—that maybe they could change with the proper perspective.”
“You.”
She met his eyes. “Me.” Lilja dropped her eyes to her lap. “Sirenidae live a long time and are wise, but even so, they’re not perfect. I was expected to fall in line when my opinion was not the consensus, but I couldn’t let go. I had the power to help, so it was my duty to do so. One thing led to another and I was given a choice. Stay and follow the rules, or leave and never return. So I left.” She smiled bitterly. “I was so hopeful when I entered Scythia. I was going to change the world, make a difference. By all appearances, Scythia seemed to be thriving and peaceful. It was nothing like I was raised to believe. I was welcomed warmly and lulled into a false sense of security. The warlord was utterly charming—the picture of beauty and hospitality.”
She lifted the cup and took a drink, hoping it would fortify her to tell the rest of her story. Lilja placed the cup in her lap and met Hayjen’s concerned eyes. “I never saw it coming. I became very tired during dinner and retired early to my room. The next moment, I was strapped to an odd table in a room made of material I’d never seen before. Healers came and went, poking me with sharp needles and making me drink different concoctions. I asked many questions but no one would answer me.
“One day the warlord visited me. He looked the same as ever and yet there was this glint in his eyes that made the hair on my arms stand up.” Lilja shivered, but continued. “I asked why he had imprisoned me. Do you know what his answer was?”
Hayjen shook his head no.
“That animals deserved to be chained.”
Hayjen cursed.
“That was my reaction, too. He laughed at me and said that despite my disgusting heritage, I would change the world just like I wanted to. A very large warrior entered at that point and stood in the corner, watching the spectacle.” She paused to gather her thoughts, ignoring the sick feeling churning in her gut. “After the Nagalian purge, many Scythians were wiped out in the aftermath of the war. Because of their ideals, they kept experimenting with their people. Striving for perfection.”
“That’s what caused the Nagalian purge in the first place,” said Hayjen. “They believed the Nagali people were an abomination.”
“Indeed. But something happened that they didn’t anticipate. Their women couldn’t bear children. The warlord explained all of this to me and said that this was where I came in. To breed more little warriors, they needed fertile women.”
Horror morphed Hayjen’s face as he connected the dots. “That’s why there were so many women on the slaver ship.”
“Yes,” she gritted out. “Since women were scarce, only his most faithful warriors received brood mares.” Lilja waved her hand as tears pricked her eyes. “I will spare you the details, but I unwillingly became pregnant.”
A stifling silence filled the room. “Oh Lil, I’m so sorry.” A pause. “The baby?”
“I lost her.” Hot tears filled her eyes. “I had enough one day and I fought back. It was an accident. I pushed too hard and he pushed back.”
The bed dipped and large arms wrapped around her. “Those bastards.”
A tear slipped down her face. “But I was right. Not all of the Scythians were bad. There was one who was willing to sacrifice everything to help me escape.”
“Blair,” Hayjen breathed onto the top of her head.
“He was the bunkmate of the warrior I was given to, so we lived together. He protected me and took care of me while I was pregnant.”
“I just—there aren’t words.”
She wiped her face. “No, there aren’t. Nothing can describe the helplessness of being taken over and over again without a choice. It pales to the pain you feel when you lose a child. You lose part of yourself that won’t ever heal.” They sat there in silence holding each other as her tears dried. Lilja looked up into Hayjen’s pained face. “I understand what you’re feeling right now. The anger wi
ll turn into something ugly unless you channel it into something positive.”
“Like you have?”
“Like I have. I protect others from my fate.” Lilja pulled away her head, which was pounding harder after her crying. “That’s why I need to return to my ship. We accomplish important work.”
“I want to help.”
Lilja froze and turned to him. “What?”
“I want to help. What can I do?”
She placed a hand on top of his. “Live a happy life with your family.”
“Gwen’s married.”
Her lips pursed. “I know.”
He gave her an odd look. “How?”
She shrugged.
Hayjen shook his head. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. I have no place here.”
“What are you talking about?” She stabbed a finger at the door. “You have a family right outside that door.”
“My whole life has been about raising and taking care of Gwen, but now she has someone else to take care of her.”
“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t need you.”
“No, but she’s a woman now. She has her own life and now I can choose my own.”
“What are you saying?”
“I want to leave with you on the Sirenidae.”
Lilja gaped at him. “A day ago you wanted to kill me, and now you want to join my crew?”
“A lot has changed in that time. I want to make a difference, and I don’t want anyone to suffer as I did. It seems like joining your crew is the best option.”
She blinked. “That’s a big decision.”
“It is.”
“It’s a hard life.”
“My life has always been hard.”
Lilja changed her tactic. “Have you told Gwen?”
“No.”
“Speak with your family before you make any hasty decisions.” She stood and moved to leave.
“Where are you going?” Hayjen asked, standing from the bed.
“To my ship.”
“You’re hurt.”
“I’m fine. My head hardly hurts.”
His eyes narrowed.
Lilja unwrapped her hand and held it to the big man. “I heal quickly.” The cut on her hand was sealed and a shiny pink color.
“Seriously?” he growled.
“What?”