She lifts her head and places her hands on my chest before resting her chin on top of them. “I really think you should see a therapist.”
“That’s what I have you for, remember?”
“Yeah, but what if there’s something you want to talk about, but not to me? Or what if you need to talk about me? A therapist can help you more. And you’ve gotten better at talking.”
“Only with you, though.” I still mostly lie to my siblings, and I don’t have friends to lie to. The only person I talk to, that I want to talk to, is Olivia.
“Think about it some more, okay?”
I nod and we fall silent until she lifts her head again an episode later.
“Do you know what I’ve noticed about you?” I don’t even bother saying anything. She’s going to tell me one way or another and I’d rather not guess. “There are two emotions I’ve seen you show really well.”
Stop. That’s what I want to say because this can’t be good. “Which ones?”
“Anger and remorse. I see love when your siblings are involved and a hint of kindness here and there, though you try to hide it.”
I dance my fingers along her spine. “What’s your point, Olivia?” No snappy tone, none of the anger she mentioned, just a bland bout of curiosity.
“I want to see other emotions from you. Like goofiness, humor, pride, hope, peacefulness, and happy. I really want to see a lot of happy,” she finishes quietly, glancing down at her fingers.
“Hey.” I wait for her eyes to lift. “I’m happy right now.” And I am. Lying here, sort of watching TV, and talking with her, I’m happy as I can be.
“Prove it.”
I crack a grin because happy people smile and that’s the only way to prove it. As a bonus, the smile is genuine, just for her. She smiles in return. Suddenly, she moves, stands, and runs into her bedroom.
“Where are you going?” I call out before following her. She’s in her bedroom, jotting something down. When I peer over her shoulder, I see she’s writing in a calendar. Olivia stands upright and glances down at her handwriting. “You marked it in your calendar that I smiled?” My eyebrows pull together in confusion. There’s another entry a few days before of the same thing. “Why?”
“It’s not that you smiled, it’s because you smiled and wanted to. These are your happy moments and I want to remember them, especially for the days when you need to be reminded and you’re being a jerk.” Olivia gives me a pointed look.
Unsure what to make of it, I ask a few more questions. “What do the Y’s, V’s, L’s, and O’s mean?”
“Those are the days we did yoga, played video games, you laughed, or we left the apartment to go out. More good things.”
The rest of what’s jotted down is her tutoring schedule, it seems. Hm. She literally marks it down in her calendar when I have something good happen. I flip back to January and see she’s been doing it since that night I smiled and laughed when she ran into me at the club. It’s weird, right? And maybe a little creepy?
Olivia comes to the same realization. “Oh, no. This is totally creepy, isn’t it?” She shakes her head. “Okay, this is how we’re viewing it. You refuse to see a therapist, so since I’m temporarily playing the part, these are my notes. There. Totally normal.”
I smile to keep from laughing at her. “Works for me.” I guess. Taking her hand, I lead her back to the couch and we settle in to watch more TV.
Olivia falls asleep before the season ends, but I keep watching. This show is really good. I’m not sure if it’s the kind of show I can admit out loud that I watch or not, but I’m hooked. In fact, around four in the morning, Olivia wakes up and glances between me and the TV.
“You’re still awake?”
“Yeah, be quiet,” I shush her. If she keeps talking, I might miss what happens.
A sleepy giggle escapes her. “You love this show, don’t you?”
“Ssh. Go to sleep.” I press a finger to her lips. She reaches for something on the table and the TV blinks off. “Hey,” I protest.
“You need sleep if you want my uncle to hire you.” Olivia gives me a quick kiss before settling on my chest and falling back to sleep.
OLIVIA’S UNCLE, HANK, is really friendly and humorous, but also seems like he has a reserve of seriousness that he brings out every now and then. Today is my first day on the job. Olivia sent me a message this morning, telling me good luck, and since then, I’ve been listening about safety and following Hank around like his shadow. When we break for lunch, I check my phone, not at all surprised that there’s a text waiting for me.
Olivia: How’s it going? Do you like it?
Me: Haven’t done much yet, but it’s cool.
Olivia: :D I wish we could go to eat tonight to celebrate.
Me: Why can’t we?
Olivia: Tutoring & then study group. Big test tomorrow. :/
Me: If I make it until the end of the week, I’ll let you take me out and make up for it.
Olivia: Haha! Plan on it then. Talk later. :)
“C’mon, boy. Time to get you to work for real,” Hank calls. I follow him back into the house and he walks up to Nate, one of the other workers. “Nate, he doesn’t know what the hell we’re doing, so show him the ropes.” Hank cracks a grin at me before walking back outside, taking a phone call.
“Corey, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s get to work.”
For five solid hours, I work. Nate basically has me copy his every move and help him with everything he’s tasked to do. I learn how to use some of the tools, how to break things apart, and so much more that I’m not sure I’ll remember it all. But, I enjoy every second. I’m exhausted when I get home, thankful that I’m not hanging out with Olivia, but I feel good.
It’s the first time since my injury that I’m looking forward to tomorrow. The first time I’m looking forward to anything. For the moment, I’m on a high and I’m happy. I’m going to appreciate every second.
After going grocery shopping, I call my siblings to check in, congratulate Luce on running a 5K this past weekend, and keep the normalcy ball rolling. I eat dinner and kick back on the couch to watch TV.
AT THE SOUND of Olivia calling my name, I wake up. She’s dressed in her pjs, looking down at me, almost reluctant. I yawn as I sit up. You won’t find me complaining about how I’m sleeping more and better these days.
“Sorry,” she whispers, though it’s only us and the TV. “You didn’t answer my texts, so I came to check on you.” I grab her hand and tug her to make her sit next to me. “I guess this means you had a busy day at work?”
“Yeah, what time is it?”
“Ten thirty. Did you like it?”
“A lot, but I’m wore out. Why did you wake me up? Not that I’m not happy to see you,” I add.
“I didn’t know if you would wake up and move to your bed later or not, so I just wanted to make sure you didn’t miss taking your meds.”
Sighing, I realize I would have missed the dose. Olivia is like a medicine nazi, always making sure I take every single one of them when I’m supposed to. I ignore those thoughts for now.
“Did you have a good day?”
“It was okay. I had three tutoring sessions scheduled today and each one of them canceled within five minutes of when they were supposed to meet me. I was pissed and aggravated, and I would have much rather been here with you or playing the racing game instead, which I’ll probably do before I go to bed.” She rests her head on my shoulder.
“Want me to play with you?” I’d much prefer sleep, but I could handle staying awake a little longer.
“No, you should go to bed and rest before another long day.” She makes no move to leave, though. Maybe she wants to stay over? Or talk some more? I don’t have a clue, so I go on a whim.
“Want to stay with me?”
“Yeah. Can we just cuddle and go to sleep? No talking?”
I chuckle. “That sounds like paradise to me, you know that.”
Olivia smiles before telling me to go take my pill. She goes ahead and climbs into my bed while I finish my pre-bed activities. When I take my place next to her, she gives me a soft kiss and then rests her head on the pillow.
“Thanks, Corey.”
Another thank you? I don’t even know what I did this time. “For what?” I ask, lying on my side, bringing her closer to me. Tired as I may be, I want to feel her against me and I want to touch her. My hand glides down her side beneath the covers and back again as she speaks.
“Asking me to stay. That’s really why I came over. Well, one of the main reasons. Being with you makes me feel better after a not-so-great day.”
My fingers walk their way around to the back of her neck, running up to her hair while I digest her words. It reminds me of the night at the bar when Chelsea said Olivia told her I was perfect for her. Is that how? Because after a bad day, I make her feel better somehow? I want to ask her. She did say no talking, though, and I’m not about to start.
“How about a little bit of this,” I kiss the corner of her mouth and then the other side, “before we go to sleep?”
She answers me with a kiss of her own.
WHO KNEW IT was possible to have five good days in a row? Sounds like the ball is about to drop soon. The good streak doesn’t last this long for me and Saturday has me antsy, waiting for it to happen. My thoughts all turn to Olivia. Something will happen with her and all will be ruined. Or it could be my job. It’s too good and I’m loving it too much, despite being bone-tired by the time I get home. Maybe Nate will lie about how well I’ve been doing and I’ll be unemployed by Monday morning.
Me: Olivia. I’ve had a good week.
Olivia: I know! :D
Me: Something bad has to come ruin it. I don’t have good weeks.
Olivia: Stop being a Negative Nancy.
Me: I’m being real. I can feel it. What if something happens to one of my siblings?
Olivia: Nothing’s going to happen to them. I promise.
Me: What if something happens to you?
Olivia: I’m across the hall. Nothing’s going to happen to me either.
Me: What if I have a crying fest again?
Olivia: You won’t. Meds are good.
Me: Well, SOMETHING is going to happen. And it won’t be a good thing.
Even worse is that I’m seriously nervous about this. I don’t have good days and definitely not consecutively. This is one of those too good to be true moments and it’s all about to crash.
Some way, some how.
I hear a door slam and then turn to see mine fly open.
“You’re driving me crazy, so stop it.” Olivia throws her hands up in the air.
Withholding a laugh, I say, “I guess now would be a bad time to give you an early Valentine’s Day gift?” I could use a change of subject, and I’ve been dying to give this to her since I picked it up Wednesday. Valentine’s Day is next week, but why wait until the good streak ends? This guarantees that I’m in a good mood for this.
Olivia looks downright confused. “Valentine’s Day? A gift? For me? Don’t tell me you’ve been an undercover romantic this entire time.”
“Not in the least bit. Romantic actions make fun of me, so no thanks. I do have a gift for you, though.”
She eyes me warily and curiously, and I laugh. “When are you going to give it to me?”
“Now, if I’m not driving you so crazy that you want to go back to your apartment.”
Finally, she smiles. “Now sounds great.” Excitement leaks into her voice.
I didn’t wrap it, but I stuck a bow on top. That works too, right? It’s just a little something anyway, and Valentine’s Day is my excuse to give it to her. “Sit on the couch while I go get it.”
She hurries to do as I ask and I’m suddenly nervous. I shouldn’t be. It’s a simple gift. But Olivia might hate it. Or have her expectations too high for my surprise gift. Simple or not, I still want her to love it. Maybe I should dump the idea altogether. Only, it’s too late now because she knows. With a deep breath, I grab the gift off of my dresser and hold it behind my back as I walk back to the living room.
Her hands are drumming on her knees in anticipation. I really hope she’s not disappointed. The anxiety of how she’ll react rises as I hold it out for her without making her close her eyes first. She smiles when she removes the bow. My muscles loosen up as it hits me. She smiled.
“A racing video game and a DVD of yoga workouts?” The smile turns into a grin when she fixes her gaze on me. Olivia stands and gives me a kiss. Like most of her kisses, it’s too short and leaves me wishing for more. “Does this mean you’re going to do these with me?” She holds up the DVD.
“No.” She smiles because she knows I’m lying. “I’ll definitely play the game with you, though.”
“I’ll race you over to my apartment, since we know you’ll lose in the game.”
Olivia takes off running the moment she finishes her sentence. I’m right behind her, though, so close that when she opens my door and stops abruptly, I run into her. My gaze follows hers, causing my stomach to drop.
“Hey, Corey,” Luce says, giving me an uneasy smile. “Surprise,” she adds weakly.
“Told ya you should have called him,” Grant tells her from his spot behind her. Both Patrick and Jon are with them as well. I knew I was right about something bad happening. Here it is.
“Hey, guys. Um, come in.” I grab Olivia’s hand as we step aside so she can’t leave me.
“Luce wanted to surprise you and take you out to dinner before you had to go to work,” Jon explains. “And you know she can’t leave Grant behind.” He’s teasing her, but she sends him a glare anyway.
Once they’re in my apartment, they all turn to look at Olivia and me. “This is Olivia. Olivia, that’s Lucy, my sister, Grant, her boyfriend, Jonathan and Patrick, my brothers.” I know Luce wouldn’t know Patrick and Olivia have already met, so I make sure to introduce them as if they haven’t.
“Nice to meet all of you,” she smiles.
“You wanted to go eat, Luce?” She nods, glancing back and forth between Olivia and me. “Okay. Give us a second, and we’ll be ready to go.” I drag her into my room, closing the door behind us. “I told you,” I whisper. “You’re going, right?” I add as I pick up my jacket from where I threw it on the bed earlier.
“If you want me to.” I give her a look and she laughs. “That’ll be a yes. I’ll go drop these off at my apartment and grab my hoodie, so I won’t freeze.” Olivia goes to walk past me, but I wrap my fingers around her wrist, stopping her. One look at me and she gives me a reassuring smile. “It’ll be fine. Maybe even fun.”
“I hope so.”
I let her go and go back to face the group. Why in the hell would Patrick let Luce surprise me? Or Jon, for that matter. They both know I hate surprises, but Luce loves them, so maybe that’s why they kept silent.
“Who is she?” Lucy asks the second Olivia is out the door. “Is she still coming?”
“Yeah, she lives across the hall. She’s Olivia.” I know what Lucy wants to know. Who Olivia is to me. When her eyes narrow, I add, “She’s a friend, Luce.”
“Oh, well, I’m sorry we didn’t call first. We aren’t interrupting your plans, are we?”
“Not really.” Olivia reenters wearing her hoodie. “Ready?” I ask, and she nods. We all shuffle out. There’s too many of us to all ride together, so Olivia and I ride in my car, following them to the usual restaurant we go to on the off chance my siblings do visit.
The radio is the only sound as we drive. I shouldn’t be freaking out over having dinner with my siblings, but I am a little bit. I have to lie to all of them all at the same time. It’s going to be hard and exhausting. We’re seated quickly, Olivia and Patrick with me on my side of the table with Jon, Luce, and Grant on the other side.
Lucy wastes no time either. “Do you go to school with Corey, Olivia?” She can say what she will about us being annoyin
g and overprotective, but she has it in her too a little bit.
“Not exactly. I’m a sophomore, so I’m a few years behind him. I’m going to become a therapist. You’re a sophomore too, right?”
They talk about school for a few minutes before the waitress comes to take our drink order. Apparently satisfied for now, Lucy turns her attention to me. “What time do you have to go into work?”
“I don’t work tonight.” Not a lie. Just because I’m not talking about the same job she is shouldn’t matter too much.
“How are you doing in school?”
Olivia pokes my leg. She obviously thinks this would be a good time to tell them that I’m not in school. Should I? I could keep it from them a while longer still. I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not. What would my excuse be? I’m not telling them about the psychiatrist and the antidepressants. I refuse.
“Corey?” Lucy looks at me expectantly. I’ve taken too long to answer and everyone’s looking at me instead of their menus.
“Fine,” I blurt out. “I’m doing fine, Luce. Are you all still passing your classes?” They nod. “What are y’all doing for spring break next month? Are you still going with Grant?”
“Yeah, we’re going down south to the beach.” Lucy is excited, I can tell by the grin on her face.
“His parents will be there, right?” I don’t want to think about my baby sister going to spend a week in a beach house alone with her boyfriend.
Lucy rolls her eyes, but Grant answers. “That’s why she’s coming. I’m ready for her to meet my parents and they love a good excuse to take a trip, so we’re renting a beach house for the week. Should be fun.”
“And what are you two doing?” Neither of my brothers have mentioned their plans to me yet.
Jon speaks first. “I’m going to see Grandma and Grandpa since I didn’t go for Christmas. Luce keeps guilt-tripping me about it.”
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