by Andrew Grey
The stretch was eye-rolling. Kevin gasped, his mouth dropping open as the initial jolt of pain morphed into a nearly overwhelming sensation that dang near overloaded his brain. Angus sank deeper, and Kevin patted his leg, silently asking him to pause. “Too much… just stop,” Kevin said between pants and closed his eyes. Once his heart rate slowed a little and the spasms of excitement passed through his muscles, Angus pushed deeper, and damn if Kevin wasn’t fuller than he could ever remember once Angus’s hips pressed to his ass.
Angus leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “You feel so hot.” Kevin clenched his muscles, and Angus trembled. “Good God, you’re so tight.” Kevin did it again, smiled, and Angus gently pulled out, moving slowly, his gaze locked on Kevin’s. “I love your eyes,” Angus said, his accent becoming more pronounced. “They darken when I pull away,” Angus nearly pulled out of him and then slowly pressed back into him. “They sparkle when I fill you.” Angus rolled his hips, slow and steady.
“Oh yes!” Kevin loved that. Angus scraped his cock over that spot, and Kevin shook like hell. “More.”
“I want to take my time,” Angus said as he rolled his hips.
“Screw that,” Kevin said, reaching for Angus’s hips and pulling him close. Then he wrapped his arms around Angus’s neck and pulled him closer. “I’m not going to break, so I want you to fuck me like you mean it.”
“But….”
“Fuck me, dammit!”
Angus pulled away and then rammed back into him, vibrating his entire body.
“Yes!”
“That better?” Angus asked and withdrew before snapping his cock back inside him.
“Hell yeah,” Kevin yelled, shaking as erotic energy filled both him and the room. The air grew close and filled with the scent of sweat and testosterone. It was heady and only added to the excitement. Kevin breathed in deep, taking it all in, especially the way Angus’s stomach muscles rippled as he snapped his hips.
Most of the time during anal sex, Kevin tended to lose his erection. The sensation was so overwhelming that he would concentrate on that and forget about his dick. Angus took him in hand, stroking him slowly, and Kevin’s dick roared back to life. Within seconds he was on the edge once again, trying not to tumble over too quickly. “So close,” he groaned, arching his back.
“Put your hands over your head for me,” Angus told him, and Kevin grabbed the headboard, gripping the wood hard, arms corded with tension as he stayed just this side of nirvana. “You gonna scream for me?”
“Oh yeah, wanna come so bad. Got to,” Kevin gritted as Angus paused in his stroking. He groaned as his release slipped further away. All he needed was a little bit more. Angus thrust deep, stilling, cock bobbing slightly inside him. Tiny thrusts followed, and Kevin’s head swam as Angus sent waves of heat through him.
“You ready?”
“Yeah,” Kevin said, his voice trembling. He couldn’t take much more of this erotic torture. His vision began to tunnel, and then Angus gripped his cock hard, stroking like hell. “I’m right there!” Kevin stretched and clamped his eyes closed as his release began at the base of his balls and raced through him. “Fuck!” he yelled as the pressure built and built, and then he erupted, shooting onto his chest and belly. He even felt his release on his chin.
Kevin vibrated with excitement as Angus came inside him. He felt Angus’s cock swell slightly, throbbing. He opened his eyes, and the sight of Angus in climax stole his breath away. Sweat glistened on Angus’s chest, his eyes shone, his mouth open just a little.
“God!”
“Yeah, you’re so fucking sexy,” Kevin told him and held on to Angus, tugging him down as afterglow began to settle in. His weight on top of him was glorious.
“I’m so sweaty,” Angus whispered.
Kevin chuckled. “Your sweet talk needs work.”
“Probably,” Angus said. “You really don’t mind?”
Kevin stilled, realizing Angus was being serious. “Why would I?” He shivered when Angus slipped from inside him. He continued holding him, only letting Angus move away to take care of the condom. When he returned to the bed, Kevin tugged Angus back into place. “I take it someone told you sweat wasn’t attractive.”
“Well, I had a boyfriend for a while, maybe a few weeks, and he always raced for the shower after sex so he could get clean. Granted, we had fun in the shower most of the time, but he had to get clean right away. And a few other guys have said that I sweat too much, so….”
“You’re a big man, and you were doing all the work,” Kevin said with a grin and then sucked at the base of Angus’s neck. “Never apologize for being who you are. I learned that a long time ago.” Kevin lay back on the pillow. “I wouldn’t stay with someone who expected me to be who I wasn’t.”
“Is that what happened to you?”
“It has, I guess,” Kevin said. “Some people are never happy with who anyone is, and they always want to try to turn them into what they want.” Kevin sighed. “Sometimes I feel left out since all my friends have partners. So I let myself feel desperate and went out with a few guys I should have told to take a hike. They weren’t abusive, but they were a little dumb and only interested in sex.”
“I guess that was me,” Angus said.
“Why?” Kevin asked. Angus shrugged, and Kevin looked deep into his eyes and saw a well of pain that nearly made him gasp. “Not everyone will leave.” He hoped he wasn’t jumping to the wrong conclusion.
Angus shook his head. “Everyone leaves,” he said in response, and Kevin gaped. “In one way or the other, people leave you, and you need to get used to it.” The vehemence in Angus’s voice had Kevin doing a double take.
“That’s not true. I know plenty of couples who will be together for a long time.” He knew that was true in his heart. Bull and Zach were, like, the perfect couple. Sure, he supposed they fought about things, but they also loved each other more than air. The same was true for Jeremy and Spook, and Tristan and Harry. Though if he were truthful, Kevin was a little jealous of Tristan, because at one time he’d crushed on Harry. But in retrospect, Harry and Tristan were great together, so he couldn’t be really upset.
Angus rolled away and lay on his back on the mattress. Where Kevin had felt so close to him a few minutes earlier, it seemed a gulf had suddenly opened up, and he wasn’t sure what to do to bridge it. He found Angus really hot and all, but he didn’t know him that well and wasn’t sure what to say.
“Some people are lucky in that way, but I’m not,” Angus said.
“How do you know?” Kevin decided he wasn’t going to let this go. So he climbed on top of Angus with a grin and wriggled his hips against his. “Have you met everyone? Or taken some sort of poll?” He giggled softly when Angus huffed. “I got it. You’re psychic and know everything before it’s going to happen. If that’s true, then I want to know the Powerball numbers so I can buy a ticket.”
“You’re being silly.”
“So are you,” Kevin retorted. “I don’t know who left you, but not everyone does that.”
“How can you say that? Your mom left you.”
Angus’s words stung, and for a second he pulled into himself. Kevin glared at him and then smacked him on the shoulder. “Don’t be an ass. It’s not cute or funny. If you wanted to be a real dick, you succeeded. But you didn’t hurt me, if that’s what you were trying to do. I’m an adult now, and I can choose how I want to feel and what I’m going to react to.” Kevin moved closer, glaring at Angus. “Maybe it’s time I go home. I thought you were a good guy, but I can see now that you’re just an ass. I certainly don’t need any more assholes in my life. There have been more than enough.” Kevin rolled off Angus and got off the bed, searching around on the floor for his clothes.
“I…,” Angus started.
“You what? Have some explanation of childhood trauma to explain why you were a jerk?” Kevin shook his head. “Just save it.”
“I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Sometimes I don’t know when to keep quiet.”
“Bullshit. I was treading into territory you didn’t want to go, and instead of saying you didn’t want to talk about it, you lashed out hurtfully, and I won’t stand for that crap. But I have news for you. My mom left when I was a kid, and she never got to know me. But that’s her loss, not mine. I’m an amazing person, and she’s the one who lost out on knowing me. I can deal with that—in fact I did a long time ago. So whatever it is that’s bothering you, figure out how to deal with it or whatever it is will dog you for the rest of your life.” Kevin turned away and grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head before yanking on his socks and stepping into his shoes. Then he marched to the bedroom door, refusing to turn around. “I’ll see you around. And don’t bother giving me a ride home. I’ll call a friend.” He pulled open the bedroom door and hurried out into the hall, closing the door behind him with more force than was necessary. Then he hurried down the stairs and out of the house. He pulled out his phone and pressed a number.
“Zach, can you please pick me up?”
“Where are you?” Zach asked right away.
“Shipoke.” He kept his voice as steady as he could even though he was quickly alternating between anger and hurt.
“I take it your date didn’t go well.”
“Prince Charming turned out to be a frog with huge warts,” he answered. He turned around when he heard the door open behind him. Angus strode toward him, and Kevin stared daggers at him. “He’s coming this way.”
“Do you want me to call the police? I can have them there in a few minutes.”
“No,” he said when Angus stopped a few feet away. “I’ll call you back.”
“Fine, but if I don’t hear from you in five minutes, I’m going to call in the cavalry and everyone is going to descend on him.”
Kevin agreed and then hung up. “You have exactly five minutes,” he said as he glared at Angus, slipping his phone into his pocket.
“Five minutes for what?”
“To properly apologize and stop acting like a complete fucking pain in the ass.” He put his hands on his hips. “I’m waiting.”
Angus broke eye contact. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s just that the subject is closer to an open wound than I want to admit.” He raised his gaze from the sidewalk. “I’d like to think I’m over what happened, but every time anyone gets close to it, I lash out.”
“You know that isn’t an excuse for hurting me… or trying to hurt me. See, in order to truly get to me, you have to be someone I’m willing to care about, and as of this moment, the jury is out on that. Right now I can take or leave you. Sure, you’re hot and all, but if you can’t treat me right, you can hit the road.” Kevin’s phone rang, and he pulled it out of his pocket. “Hi, Zach.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m here with Angus and we’re talking for a moment.”
“Do you need a ride home? I can be there in a few minutes, we can kick his ass, and you can come here. We’ll have ice cream and watch old crappy movies, and you can roast this Angus guy on a spit.”
Kevin tried not to smile, but he couldn’t help it. He knew his friends would be there for him. They always were.
“My friend Zach wants to know if I need a ride home,” Kevin told Angus. “He’s offering ice cream and a chance for the two of us to discuss all your character flaws.” He was starting to have fun with this, especially as Angus got more and more nervous.
“I have ice cream, and we can talk about all my character flaws all you want. I’m sure I have more than a few.”
“Did you hear that?” Kevin asked Zach. He heard him laughing on the other end of the phone.
“Yeah. And if you ask me, I think you better keep him. I’ve been trying to get Bull to debate his character flaws for years, but he always distracts me with sex and then I forget all about them.” He continued laughing. “Go ahead and talk things out, but call me if you need me.” Zach hung up, and Kevin put his phone back in his pocket.
“He says I should kick your ass if you ever do that again,” Kevin told Angus, who folded his arms over his chest. “You think I can’t do it?” Kevin mimicked Angus’s stance and expression. “Bull taught all four of us some basic self-defense moves after Tristan was kidnapped last year. And the one lesson I learned very well is that the bigger they are, the harder they fall.”
“Geez, I thought you were a sweet, rather quiet guy, but you’re a real badass.”
Kevin knew he was teasing, and he lured Angus onto the grass. He motioned forward with his finger, and Angus smiled, humoring him, Kevin was sure. When Angus came at him, he grabbed his hand, used his body as leverage, and flipped Angus onto his back, leaving him lying on the grass, staring up at the sky. “Do you believe me now?” he asked, leaning over him. “See? I’m a real badass.”
Angus blinked and slowly got to his feet. “I guess so,” he said with much more respect.
“Just because I’m smaller than you doesn’t mean I can’t take care of myself or that I’m helpless.” Kevin put his hands on his hips once again, tapping his foot on the grass. “I’m still waiting for my apology.”
Angus got to his feet. “I’m sorry I lashed out at you. It was my own wounds and nothing you did.” He stepped closer and gently touched Kevin’s chin. “I’ll try not to do it again.”
“You better not, because next time I won’t be as nice.”
Angus chuckled and shook his head. “You really are something else.”
“Do you make a habit of being mean to people?” Kevin asked. “I don’t want to be around you if you act like that all the time.”
Angus shook his head and took his hand. “I’m not usually like that.”
Kevin allowed Angus to lead him back into the house. He wasn’t sure he was fully convinced, but he was willing to give him a second chance. “What happened to you? Because you got this ‘everyone leaves’ thing going, and then you pushed me away.”
Angus’s steps faltered for a second, and then he pulled open the front door. “I really hate talking about it.”
“Yeah, I get that, and I won’t press you if you don’t want to talk about it.” Kevin sat on the sofa in Angus’s living room, watching as he left the room and wondering if he was being a complete fool. After that whole ‘lashing out’ thing in the bedroom, it would probably be smarter to walk away and go home. He’d seen abusers before and knew how Tristan had behaved with Eddie. Whatever happened wasn’t Eddie’s fault. Tristan was always to blame and had a million excuses. He wasn’t doing that, but it did make him pause.
When Angus returned, he had two glasses of iced tea and handed Kevin one. “I spent time when I was a child with friends of my parents in York. They already had four kids, and I was the fifth. All of them fought all the time and were nasty to each other. I mean, really nasty.” Angus sat next to him. “It was a very bad time, and I ended up like a tennis ball between family members. Whenever their daughter Mary got mad at her brother Mick, she’d say the meanest things, and then she’d try to get me on her side, and Mick would do the same thing. And I guess I learned to do the same thing just to survive. It was pretty miserable, and I don’t think I’ve acted like that in a long time, but….”
“I pushed a button?” Kevin asked.
“Yeah. One I didn’t really know was there,” Angus said, clearly upset. He put his arm around Kevin, and Kevin leaned against him. The last few hours seemed like a strange dream, and he tried to figure out what he wanted to do. “Should I tak
e you home?”
“I don’t know,” Kevin said. “Things seem strange now. I’m not a baby, and I understand being upset.”
Angus kissed his forehead. “Then I’m going to have to show you I’m not a monster.”
“I don’t think that. And what you said wasn’t untruthful, just a little hurtful. My mother did leave, and it fit your point. But not everyone leaves. You have to believe that or else you’ll push people away.”
“If you say so,” Angus said.
“I do,” Kevin said firmly. “Just give folks a chance.”
Angus sighed. “Most of the guys I’ve been with were fine with keeping things casual and quick.”
“Well, I’m not most guys, and if that’s what you want, then you’re welcome to it. But it’s not what I want.” Kevin reached for the glass of tea and drank some of it. “That’s what you have to decide.” He glanced around. “Now I think we can have some of that ice cream and then talk about those character flaws you mentioned earlier.” Kevin smiled, figuring it was time to try to lighten the mood. “What kind do you have?”
“What? Ice cream?”
“No, character flaws. You need to tell me all about them.”
“Jesus,” Angus groaned and got to his feet, tugging Kevin to his. “I’ve got chocolate and mint chocolate chip.”
“Character flaws? Those are some pretty weird names,” Kevin teased.
“Ice cream,” Angus said, laughing. “Man, you can be really goofy.”
“I’m not the one naming my character flaws after ice cream flavors,” Kevin retorted. “Seriously, I want mint chocolate chip. It’s my favorite. And let me guess, lack of attention span is one of your flaws.”
Angus pulled open the freezer door and got out the carton. He set it on the counter and pulled out spoons and bowls. “You can tell a lot about a man by the kind of ice cream he likes. Vanilla guys are just that: they like things plain, but steady. Men who prefer chocolate want a little more richness but still don’t stray far from the path.” Angus scooped out the ice cream and handed him a bowl and spoon.