by A. C. Arthur
She lifted her hands to her breasts, cupping them before touching her fingers to each nipple. “I need.”
It was all the permission required, and in the next moment he was pressing his dick into her, stretching her, filling her, completing her.
* * *
Dying.
That was RJ’s new word for how he felt when he was inside Grace.
It was like dying and being reborn into something he knew he could never be without her.
Grasping her ankles, he spread her legs and continued to move in and out of her, his teeth clenching, eyes closing with the pleasure ripping through him with each stroke. The sound of her whispering his name had his eyes gradually opening. She was gorgeous with her damp hair spread out around her face, hands slipping slowly from her breasts to grasp the comforter beneath her. The dark tone of her skin was luminous against the pale hue of the bedding. Her deep brown nipples were taut as her breasts jiggled with the force of his thrusts.
It took concerted effort—and the fact that he didn’t want to pass out from lack of oxygen and miss this glorious pleasure—to remind himself to breathe. “Damn.” The one word came out in a whoosh when his gaze fell lower and he watched his dick sinking deep inside her.
How had he gone so long without feeling the tightness of her muscles grasping him, sucking him back in the moment he dared to pull away?
“Ronald.” She sighed his name. His full name, as she always did during sex.
Nobody called him that, not even his parents. In fact, no Gold with that name had ever been called that—his grandfather had gone by Ronnie. So hearing her say it always made him feel like he was special to her. But that couldn’t be, not anymore.
The thought spurred a need to stake his claim, even if only in this bedroom. Tonight she would be his, and he would show her once again how it felt when they were together. Pulling out of her, he ignored her moans of protest and eased off the bed. The way she shot up told him she thought he was finished and she wasn’t happy about it. Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak.
“Shhhhh.” He noted the instant rise of her brow, a look that clearly asked if he was out of his mind for basically telling her to shut up.
Grace was a beauty, there was no doubt. She was also confident, brilliant and feisty as hell when provoked. He didn’t verbally respond to her expression but stood at the end of the bed and reached for her legs again, easing her to the end of the bed as well. When she was there, he took her hands and pulled her to her feet. With a hand to the back of her head and one slipping behind her to cup her ass, he kissed her again.
This time the hungry exchange included his teeth running over the line of her jaw when they gasped for breath, only to return to dueling tongues again when her arms came up to wrap around his neck. That hand on her ass moved until he touched her tight sphincter and she jumped in his arms. He wouldn’t break the kiss, but took in her pleasured moans and joined with a guttural groan of his own.
It’d been a very long time since he’d taken her in that place. Too damn long by his estimation, and he knew he wouldn’t go there tonight, but he would remind her how it’d felt when they’d both explored something they’d never done with anyone else before. She clung to him as he applied more pressure, not enough to enter her but just enough to drive them both crazy with need.
“Now who’s teasing?” She breathed the question as her head fell back and he licked along the line of her jaw.
“Oh, I’m not teasing,” he groaned. “I definitely plan to deliver.”
And with that statement he eased his hand from between her legs and turned her away from him. With a hand to the small of her back he pushed her over until her palms were flat on the bed. “Arch your back, babe,” he instructed, and she complied until her legs were spread, ass lifted up to him in offering.
He smacked each plump mound, the sound echoing throughout the room and sending spikes of desire straight to his dick. Gripping her ass cheeks then, he spread them slowly until he could drive into her core with one quick thrust. She screamed and he almost came right then and there. Fueled by their shared desire he pumped fiercely in and out of her until her legs shook and she yelled his name. The warmth of her essence covering him as she came was enough to push him straight over the edge, and in the next seconds he was gripping her hips as his body shook with his release.
In another time, once their breathing had returned to normal and he was certain he wasn’t going to collapse over her, RJ would’ve carried her to the shower or run them a warm bath. Tonight, they each moved in and out of the bathroom solo. He’d let her go first so when he came out of the bathroom she was standing with a pair of shorts on and her sarong tied around her upper body like a tube top.
“I had to improvise,” she said with a shrug when he was obviously staring at her in question.
He grinned. “Maybe you should come work for us at RGF as a designer.”
She smiled back, but the easy conversation between them had dissipated. Now there was an uncomfortable tension that he sensed neither of them knew how to deal with. Did she think this was a mistake? Did he? She’d said it was inevitable. After yesterday’s kiss and the hours spent thinking about taking that kiss further, which had plagued him all day and night, he wholeheartedly agreed with her. Just like yesterday in the cabana, being alone with her tonight had been great. He was starkly aware of the fact that he’d thought he and Grace were great together before, too.
Despite their obvious history, there was a part of him—a very big part that he was having a hell of a time battling with—that wanted to ask her to stay. That part of him wanted to lie and cuddle with her the way they often had after sex, in the comfort of his penthouse in Manhattan. That part had never wanted to let her go, and while RJ had respected those feelings all this time, the look of determination on Grace’s face dictated he keep a tight lid on those emotions.
“I’ll walk you back to your room,” he said, and moved to the dresser to grab fresh clothes.
She was quiet as he pulled out basketball shorts and a T-shirt, slipping them both on and then going to find his flip-flops. When he faced her again, he wanted desperately to take her in his arms and tell her that he...what? What would he say? How did he feel now? Was he still in love with her?
“You don’t have to,” she said when they’d stood in silence for a while.
He gave her a “don’t be ridiculous” look and headed out of the room. They walked along the property in silence and minutes later, when they arrived at the front of her building, she turned to him.
“We can do this here,” she said, and he looked at her quizzically.
His thoughts had been all over the place as they’d walked. Reminiscing on their time together, searching for when and where it could’ve gone wrong, just as he’d done for weeks after she’d first left him. This current effort was just as futile as the others, because he still had no clue what had happened between them. And yes, he could’ve just asked the question and let her tell him, but there was a very real part of him that wanted her to trust him enough to open up to him. She hadn’t before so it was probably foolish to want that now, but he did.
“We can do what here?” he asked.
“Say good-night,” she said with a shrug. “I mean, we don’t have to feel like it’s that uncomfortable moment of a first date.”
That wasn’t how he felt at all. He was so beyond the nervous expectation of a first date with Grace, but he was also tired of the emotional back-and-forth tonight had brought.
“Well then, good night,” he said.
“Good night, RJ,” she whispered.
And neither of them moved.
Their gazes remained locked as he inhaled the tropical air mixed with the scent of chlorine they both carried from their time in the pool. A light breeze blew, lifting the ends of her hair, sending a few strands into her face. She
tucked them behind one ear.
She stepped close to him then, coming up on the tips of her toes to kiss him lightly on the lips. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He wrapped one arm around her waist and held her close, kissing her again, dipping his tongue into her mouth to tangle with hers. There’d been no consideration of making this move, no weighing options, just the persistent need to act. A need he suspected he was going to feel for the rest of their time on this island. With that resolution, he finally broke the kiss, said, “See you tomorrow, Gracie,” and walked away.
CHAPTER TEN
SHE’D HAD SEX with RJ. The man she’d once loved with all her heart.
Standing beneath the shower spray at just after nine the next morning, she let that resonate in her mind. The physical act had already taken its toll on her body, leaving her limbs languid and relaxed, her lips still tingling from all the hungry kisses, a dull ache deep in her center as she anticipated it happening again.
There’d never been any issues for her and RJ when it came to the physical. She could safely say that remained true. Another truth glaring in the forefront of her mind was anxiety. The spikes of uncertainty that had barreled into her with a rampage when RJ had proposed years ago.
Marry me, Gracie. That’s what he’d said that night at the restaurant. He came around to her side of the table, went down on one knee and opened that lovely blue box.
She’d looked into his face, familiar with his every expression, and noted the hope and love filling his smile. If she’d said yes, that smile would’ve grown bigger, excitement lighting his eyes. He would’ve hugged her close before putting the ring on her finger and whispering how much he loved her. And she would’ve whispered how much she loved him back. If she hadn’t felt as if her chest would explode from the assault of questions and concerns that assailed her in those moments.
“No.” The softly spoken word had come quick. It was knee-jerk and for days afterward she’d wished she could take it back, say it in a different way, something. Anything to erase the broken and rejected look that instantly followed on his face. That memory had been more painful than anything she’d ever experienced.
He hadn’t spoken after her reply and she couldn’t find the words to follow up that solemn answer. He wanted to know why; she could tell by the way his eyes continued to search her, silently begging for explanation. She had words. Her career was based on finding the right words to present the best story. So of course she knew the words to say. Yet she hadn’t said them. Would he have believed her? Would he have thought she was out of her mind, afraid, a coward?
No matter how many words she’d thought she had, no explanation had come that night. Instead, she’d stood, grabbed her purse and walked away.
With a heavy sigh at the memory, Grace dropped her head, letting the warm water trickle down her back. Tears stung her eyes as regret lodged in her throat.
What if she’d had the guts to explain to him that night? What if he’d said, “I still love you and want to be with you, Gracie”? What if she’d made a big mistake walking away?
And why did any of that matter now? It was years ago, water under the bridge, a closed chapter of their past. Except everything that did and didn’t happen that night stood between them each time they were together now. Even last night as they’d enjoyed each other physically, the questions had been there. The what-ifs and whys lingering in the air around them.
What if she’d just said yes? Would they have children by now? Probably. And would she have failed at both motherhood and being a wife by now?
That had always been the deeper issue, even beyond her desire to stand firm in her career. That niggling doubt that had lived with her every second of her life as the youngest sister, the baby of the family, the one with all those big shoes ahead of her to fill. The one who’d failed at filling those big shoes so many times before. Sure, she’d only been eight when her teacher had made a comment about Grace not reading at the same level as Trinity had when she’d been in that class. And she’d only been fifteen with short arms and legs when she’d been cut from the high school majorette squad that each of her sisters had been on. But by the time she’d entered college and decided on a career in journalism—only to have her mother scoff as if that were nothing compared to being a scholar or any of the occupations her sisters had chosen—the seeds of doubt had been firmly planted in her mind. She’d decided then that she’d prove herself to them by succeeding in her career no matter what.
Not that any of that made a difference now. Grace didn’t have any more answers today than she had ten years ago. And because that was a hard truth to face, she did what she always did—pushed it aside.
An hour later, when she was dressed in blue shorts, a white T-shirt and white sandals, Grace walked into the café where she, Nina and Desta had planned to meet. She’d styled her hair in a simple ponytail and packed a notepad, pens and her tablet into her bag. As she was the first to arrive, she grabbed a table near the window and ordered a cup of coffee and another one of those great doughnuts RJ had brought her yesterday. She checked her phone while she waited, reading text messages from her sisters’ group chat. Hope wanted to know what they thought about a fall wedding and Charity announced that Skye, her oldest daughter, had lost one of her front teeth. The picture of her niece missing that one tooth made Grace smile. She hadn’t been home since her mother’s birthday celebration in March, and she missed seeing her family. The immediate longing to be with them now had to be spurred by what had happened between her and RJ last night and all the thoughts it brought to mind this morning. Thoughts of what might’ve been if she hadn’t turned down RJ’s proposal.
“Hey, what’re you in such deep thought about?” Nina asked when she appeared. She pulled out the chair across from Grace and took a seat.
Nina was absolutely lovely, with her cinnamon-hued complexion and alluring curves in the hot pink romper she wore.
“Oh, hey, nothing. Just checking text messages,” Grace said, and closed the screen on her phone, pushing it to the side.
Nina frowned. “You sure?”
Graced nodded. “Positive. Where’s Desta?”
“Oh, she’s coming. She and Riley wanted daiquiris so they stopped at the bar by the pool.” Nina signaled the server and when the young lady appeared, she ordered water and a fruit bowl.
“Taking the healthy route, I see,” Grace noted. Nina had also opted for bottled water over alcoholic beverages last night at the pool.
“Trying,” Nina replied with a shrug.
“Did you say Riley was coming?”
“Yes. We just figured we’d help save you time with the interviews and that way you could spend more time doing...other things.”
Before Grace could ask about the “other things,” Desta and Riley joined them. Desta wore black Bermuda shorts and a yellow tank top, her dark hair styled in two braids that hung down her back. Riley wore her hair in a ponytail, her entrancing hazel eyes highlighted with a nude eyeshadow that matched the color of her shorts and the stripes in her halter top.
“Mornin’!” Desta said cheerfully while taking a seat next to Nina.
Riley pulled out the chair beside Grace and sat. “Hey. How’re you feeling this morning? You and RJ were taking those vodka drinks down last night.”
Yeah, they had been drinking but not enough that either of them was drunk, which she thought could’ve been an excuse for what they’d done after the pool party. But Grace definitely didn’t want to think about that right now.
“Oh, that was nothing. I’m fine. Shall we get started?” They were scheduled to play volleyball at eleven thirty and since she was now interviewing three people, Grace wanted to make sure she had enough time to get everything in.
“Sure,” Riley said. “But first, if you don’t mind, I wanted to ask you something.”
Grace had been digging her notepad and pen out of
her bag and looked up to see that all three women were staring at her.
“Ah, no, ask away,” Grace said, trying to hide the fact that she was more than a little leery about what Riley wanted to know.
It didn’t escape her that she was sitting next to RJ’s younger sister, a woman whom she’d been close to a long time ago and who undoubtedly wanted answers to the same questions her brother probably had.
“I know you don’t know Desta and Nina as well as you used to know me, but since we’re all related by marriage, and outside of that we’re all women, I figure it’s okay to speak candidly.” Riley didn’t wait for Grace to agree or disagree. “What happened between you and RJ? I thought you two were the perfect couple. I mean, coming from me, who at the time wasn’t even considering being in a relationship, I thought next to my parents, you and RJ were exactly what love was supposed to look like. And then you were just gone.”
Riley sipped from her straw when she was finished. Her expression was one of innocent curiosity, while Grace grappled with whether to speak just as candidly around this group of women.
The server returned with Grace’s coffee and doughnut and Nina’s water and fruit. Grace reached for the cream and poured it into her coffee, then added sugar, all while knowing they waited for her response.
“Nothing happened,” she replied, figuring if she expected these women to be honest with her, she owed them the same courtesy. “I needed something different in my life at the time, so I left to find it.”
“Did you find it?” Desta asked. “What you went looking for?”
Well, if this story did what she was hoping it would, the answer to that question would be yes. “I think so. Which leads me to this interview.”
“But you did love him, right?” Riley asked. “I mean the two of you seemed so perfect together. I just remember wondering if you loved him, how could you have left him?” She clearly didn’t want to let this topic go. “I guess what I’m really concerned about now is that you’re not here to hurt my brother again.”