by Dean, Ali
Willow and Hunter were lying on the grass beside us. Willow lifted herself on an elbow. “Did you guys hear about the shoot-out?” she asked. Willow was notorious for saying random things, especially after she’d smoked pot, like right now.
“Which shoot-out?” She could be talking about a shooting from a decade ago for all I knew.
“Come lie down next to me. It’s too exhausting sitting up.” With that, she collapsed back to the ground. I looked at Meg, who was pursing her lips.
“It wasn’t a shootout, Willow,” Hunter said. “Some guys just drove past and shot at the house from their car.”
“That’s a shoot-out,” Willow said.
“Which house? When was this?” A tingle of awareness went up my spine.
“Peter Moody,” Willow answered. “Well, not Peter. But his house. His parents’ house.”
I shook my head, dismissing this. How would they even know this? Moody’s dad was a banker, his mom an ER doctor. Why would someone shoot out their house? Of course, the answer was there, but I couldn’t accept it. No way.
No. Way.
“Holy shit,” Meg breathed out beside me. Meg and Moody had a thing a few months ago. It hadn’t been serious, but he definitely wasn’t a stranger to her.
“When?” I asked again.
“Early this morning,” Willow said. “My brother drove by the house and there were cop cars, police tape.”
I reached for my bag, checking my phone. Nothing. The guys would still be at tryouts, if they hadn’t skipped. “Was anyone hurt?”
“I don’t think so,” Willow said. “Hunter, do you know?”
“Oh, no. No one was hurt. They think it was a mistake. The wrong house.”
My throat started to burn. That’s what I would have thought two days ago too. But now I knew better.
I couldn’t stop checking my phone the rest of the afternoon. One of the guys would reach out, right? Yeah, I could’ve texted Moody or any of them, but something froze me. This had to do with everything they told me at Bruno’s Bar, I knew it. Maybe I wasn’t a priority in the chain of communication, but was I even in the chain at all? It hurt, all of it.
We were at the north stage, and Kai was on drums with his band. All the members had gone to Defiance Falls High and I’d gotten to know them when Kai and I were together. Good guys, and absolutely nothing like my soccer teammates. Dan was the lead singer and songwriter, and he was probably the only one with anything resembling a competitive spirit.
As I stood there amidst a crowd of people, I nearly choked as a wave of emotion hit me square in the chest. I blinked, looking around as if I could see where it had come from. It had been so acute, yet I couldn’t identify it. Whatever it was, it was painful and I didn’t want to feel it anymore.
When Hunter lit a bowl a moment later, I put up my hands, asking him to pass it to me. He raised an eyebrow. I’d never smoked with them before. Only that one time on the dock with my cousins and Cruz. That seemed like a lifetime ago, not earlier in the week. It had also felt safer. Now, it felt more dangerous. Still, I had the urge to do something to escape the onslaught of emotions.
It did help. It calmed me, drew me to the music and away from my own thoughts, the frantic cell phone checking.
Kai and the other band members found us after the show while the next band was setting up.
“Hazel,” Kai’s soft voice said by my ear.
“Kai, nice job up there. You guys sounded great.”
“Thanks. I’ve missed you. It’s good to see you.”
I hadn’t really missed Kai, but I smiled. “Yeah, you too.”
The group around us got quiet then and when I looked over at the others I saw why. Dan had passed Hunter something. I watched as Hunter looked in his hand, took out a small pill and turned to Willow. He placed it on her tongue and she swallowed it. Hunter and Meg swallowed pills a moment later.
“We have extra if you want one,” Kai said. “No pressure.”
“Um, no.” I didn’t want to act judgey, but this was out of my comfort zone. Of course I’d known they all smoked pot but this was either a new thing for this group, or they’d just never done it with me around.
I glanced at Kai, and he took it as an invitation, pulling me to his side for a hug. My chest felt tight as the emotional onslaught from earlier began to return. Loneliness. That’s what it had been. I had all these people, all these friends, but I simply didn’t belong anywhere.
My phone rang then, and I was grateful to have a reason, other than the pills, to step away from the group.
It was Dad. “Hazel, where are you?”
“I’m at Heritage Fest.” The next band hadn’t started yet, but it was still hard to hear him over all the noise.
“Who are you with?”
“Um, remember Meg? The one with dreadlocks?”
Long pause. It had been a while since Dad had seen Meg, come to think of it.
“Dad?”
“Stay where you are. One of the guys will get you. They aren’t far from there.”
Right. The warehouse was only a mile or so from this venue. Dad said this like an order though, and I opened my mouth to question him, but he’d already hung up. I stared at my cell. There were multiple missed calls and texts over the last hour from Dad, Cruz, Bodhi, Emmett, even Spike.
I didn’t want to stay at the festival anyway, but I hated this. Being ordered around without understanding anything.
I felt a hand at my hip and looked up to find Kai gazing at me. “Everything okay, Haze?” He sounded so concerned, and it only made my chest ache worse.
Did Dad realize there were thousands of people here? Did he know that it was sold out and no one could get in?
“I think I need to go wait outside for my ride.”
Kai frowned. “Your ride? You’re leaving already?” Kai sounded sad, and I gave him a soft smile, appreciating how transparent he was with his emotions.
“Yeah. That was my dad.”
Kai’s frown deepened. It didn’t explain anything, especially because Dad had always trusted me, even when Kai and I had been together nearly two years ago. I reached up to rub the deep crease between his brows and tried not to be amused by his distress. This is nothing, Kai, my life is a shitshow. With that thought, I was the one frowning. My life had been turned upside down, and everyone just expected me to come along for the ride.
I wish I had someone I could talk to who wasn’t in the middle of it.
“Come here, you look like you could use a hug.” Kai pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me. He was right. A hug felt good. Kai rocked me back and forth. The gentle swaying continued as the next band started up. He didn’t let go. Kai wasn’t anything to me, not anymore. And maybe it was because of that fact, or simply the gesture at a time when I felt overwhelmed, but I found myself crying. It was a soft cry, controlled even, and it felt really good. Overdue. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried.
Kai must have felt the tears through his shirt because he patted my back in a soothing gesture. The tears lasted through the entire song and I was just getting ready to pull away when I heard, “Man, what the hell is he doing with Hazel?”
It was Emmett. I started to turn, but Kai’s grip tightened instead of loosening. “Kai, get your hands off our cousin.” That was Bodhi.
Kai still didn’t release me, but did allow me to turn around to face them. That was a mistake, because both sets of eyes darkened when they took in my face. I’m sure I looked like I’d been crying because, well, I had been crying.
Emmett mumbled, “Shit,” but I heard it.
Bodhi stepped closer. I saw his fists clenched, and I immediately flipped from mopey to alert.
His angry glare was directed at Kai, not me. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, Kai?”
“Whoa, man.” Kai put one hand up in a surrender sign but his other one remained on my waist. I realized I needed to step out from his hold. This could escalate fast. The last thing
anyone needed was a fight. Especially one over nothing. “Relax. I’m looking out for our girl. I don’t know what upset her, but it wasn’t me.”
“She’s not your girl. She’s Cruz Donovan’s girl.” Bodhi bit out the words and with their delivery, Kai’s hold finally released and I put a little space between us.
“Guys. Chill.” I looked at my cousins, saw that they were looking for a reason to fight. I got it. It hadn’t looked good when they came upon us. But they better not use me as a tool for their pent-up frustrations. I wouldn’t let them.
I shook my head at them, trying to convey annoyance and disappointment. I didn’t need this. Not now. Now when they were partly responsible for the tears.
“Come on.” I stepped between them. “Let’s get out of here.”
Chapter Fifteen
I should’ve felt bad leaving Kai, Meg and the others without a goodbye. But I could feel how red my eyes were and I didn’t want to deal with Meg’s concern, especially when she was going to be out of it anyway. As for Kai, he was better off without me lingering around. I knew my cousins, and when they were fired up, it didn’t take much for Bodhi to throw the first punch, and then Emmett would back him up. In a crowd like that, it could get out of hand real quick.
“How’d you get in, anyway?” I asked as we left the venue.
“We have our ways,” Bodhi said with no further explanation. Right. Of course.
When we slid into the twins’ car, I was expecting to get grilled with questions. What I was doing there. Why I was with Kai. Why I’d been crying. But they were uncharacteristically silent. I didn’t notice where we were until the car was parked and the guys were already unbuckling their seatbelts.
“Dad said to come home,” I told them.
“Yeah well, we texted him. He knows you’re with us,” Emmett answered. He sounded pissed. Which made me pissed.
“My truck is back at the show. I don’t want to be here. Take me home or take me to my truck.” Even as I made the demands, I knew it was futile. Bodhi slid into the backseat next to me, and Emmett held my door open, poking his head in.
“Listen, Hazel, we’re not bringing you back to your car,” Bodhi told me.
Emmett added. “Not tonight, at least.”
“You’ve been smoking, crying, and who knows what else. You’re not driving,” Bodhi added.
“And it’s not fucking safe out there right now. Not for you. And definitely not alone,” Emmett went on.
I rubbed my eyeballs with my fists, trying to clear my brain, my emotions, everything.
“I wasn’t alone,” I grumbled.
“Yeah, we saw that,” Bodhi’s voice was tense. “What the hell are we supposed to tell Cruz, Haze, huh?”
I shot him a frown. “I don’t care what you tell Cruz. Nothing happened. He was giving me a hug. And besides, I still don’t even know what’s going on with me and Cruz.”
“Yeah,” Emmett said. “You do.”
“You know enough,” Bodhi clarified.
“Is that how this is going to play out?” I shot back. “Hazel knows enough, therefore we can tell her what to do, where to do it and who to do it with?”
Some of the tension left Bodhi’s face and I felt Emmett put a hand on my shoulder. I expected reassurances, a denial, maybe an explanation. Instead, Bodhi said, “Yeah, I think you’re starting to get it.” He nodded and I watched his expression, waiting for a wink or a sign he was messing with me.
Emmett’s hand squeezed. “Sorry, Haze. Come on, let’s go in.”
“Sounds like I don’t really have a choice,” I mumbled, getting out of the car. We’d barely made it three steps when we heard an engine roaring down the dirt drive.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the twins glance at each other. Bodhi reached for his waistband. Then he relaxed. I looked at the road. It was a motorcycle. Cruz.
“You know,” Bodhi said, stepping closer to me, “it’s a good thing Cruz was all the way in Powell with your dad when he called. Otherwise it would have been Cruz or Cruz and your dad collecting you. And that would not have gone down so smoothly.”
“You guys are acting like I did something wrong. I did nothing wrong.” And why was Cruz with Dad?
They didn’t get a chance to respond. Cruz’s engine roared in front of us, and when he turned it off, he hopped off his bike, striding toward us with purpose. His eyes roamed over me.
“You’ve been crying. Why has she been crying?” He lashed the question out at my cousins and I nearly growled.
“I’ve had enough,” I declared, turning and marching inside. No, attempting to get inside. It was locked. I huffed out a breath and Cruz was behind me, all up in my space.
His body was hot and hard against my back as he reached around me to punch in a code. He then flashed a card over a magnetic strip before turning the handle. I stepped inside and he was right behind me. The twins must have come in too because someone turned on a light that lit up the kitchen in the back. It wasn’t Cruz; his body had remained close to mine. I could feel his breath on my neck.
“Have you been smoking weed?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Why? Am I not allowed?” I sassed back, marching toward the kitchen like I had a plan. I did not have a plan. But I swung the fridge door open with fervor, forcing Cruz to take a step back.
I skimmed the contents, not really registering anything I was seeing. My eyes were burning again and I really didn’t think it was possible to cry anymore.
“Hazel.” He said it gently, but I felt the tension underneath it. “Look at me.”
I swung the fridge door shut and turned my head to Cruz. He wore a leather jacket, and damn he wore it well. I had known that a leather jacket on Cruz Donovan would slash me, but given my current state, it might as well have been a weapon of mass destruction. I was looking at him, but not into his eyes. Instead, I took in his body. I couldn’t handle the whole package right now. His face always devastated me.
He stepped right into me though, and lifted my chin with his finger. “Why’d you go off alone?”
As usual, I got sucked right in and my heart skipped a beat or two when his eyes met mine. But then I clenched my jaw when his question registered. “I’m not allowed to hang out with other friends now?”
Cruz wasn’t fazed by my response. He was all calm when he answered, “Hazel, you heard enough at Bruno’s Thursday night to understand it’s dangerous right now. No one wanted to put rules on you. We hoped you’d call one of us. But going to Heritage Fest alone? That’s just asking for trouble.”
I was torn. Moody’s house had been shot at this morning, mine had been robbed two nights ago. Maybe I should have acted differently than I normally do. Told Dad or one of the guys where I was headed. But they were at tryouts anyway. And I still didn’t understand the danger. “I didn’t know I was in danger. Am I in danger? If I am, maybe someone should have told me.”
“We can’t take the risk that you might be,” Cruz answered. I was getting used to these cryptic responses but it still made my eyes narrow.
My phone rang then and, assuming it was my dad, I pulled it out. It was Kai. I ignored the call. Now was not the time to answer.
“Why is Kai calling you?” Cruz asked, having snuck a peek at the screen.
I shoved it back in my bag. “I saw him at the festival. He was playing.”
My cousins didn’t say anything but one of them coughed. I’d nearly forgotten they were standing a few feet away, silently watching the exchange.
Cruz waited, and the silence was broken only by my cell beeping with a text message. Cruz asked, voice tight, “You need to check that?”
I shook my head no. Hell no.
Cruz turned to Bodhi and Emmett and asked, “You see Kai there?”
They nodded, and Bodhi answered, “Yeah. It was him, the other dudes in his band, Meg, Willow, Hunter. That’s it.”
“What else?” Cruz asked.
Emmett gave me an apologetic look. “
You gonna tell him?”
“Tell him what? That I was having a moment. Crying. Which he pointed out the second he saw me anyway. You all came and made me leave. Kai’s probably just calling because he’s worried.”
Bodhi twisted his lips to the side like he was amused by my recitation of the situation. Thankfully, he didn’t add anything.
“Let me get this right. You went to the festival to watch Kai on stage and then you were with him when the twins came. But you weren’t just with him, you were crying.”
Cruz had his arms crossed now and he was breathing funny.
“I don’t want to make any assumptions here, but I’m going to take a guess Kai took the opportunity to comfort you.”
I don’t know what he had in mind with that guess but I told him, “It was just a hug. I was upset. I heard about Moody’s house getting shot at, and no one had called me to tell me about it. I was worried but pissed I was out of the loop. I tried to stop thinking about it so I got high and stopped looking at my phone. Then all of a sudden Dad’s calling demanding I come home and I see all of you have been trying to reach me. It was too much. All of this is too much.” I was waving my hands, nearly shouting.
Cruz was definitely breathing funny now. Slow, deliberate breaths.
Bodhi cursed. “Fuck.”
“And then they started popping pills, and I got sort of freaked out but didn’t know what to do.”
Emmett cut me off then. “Haze, cuz, you should stop talking.”
“We’re talking about Kai Tillson?” Cruz directed the question to the twins. He couldn’t even look at me. “The first guy Hazel dated after me. The ex-boyfriend who cried when she broke up with him?”
How the hell did he know that?
No one said anything. I think it was a rhetorical question. “I wasn’t making out with him. And even if I was, I haven’t made you any promises, Cruz. Everyone’s acting like we got married but –”