How many years had she spent veering back and forth between hating her mother’s weakness and grieving over her loss? How many nights had she spent as a teenager, walking around their family’s home after the move, staring at the photographs on the walls and wondering why her mother had had to have such severe MS?
Old memories and old feelings came flooding back. Elena had thought she was over her mother’s loss, but now that she knew her mother was alive, the pain felt fresh again. All this time, she could have been visiting her in the nursing home, and all this time, her father had been lying to her.
Roman shifted his weight on the bed, drawing her out of her thoughts. She looked over to him, and he gazed back at her. One of his hands gently played along her jawline as he stared at her with soft adoration.
“Roman?” Elena asked quietly.
“Mhmm?”
“Do you remember what you said yesterday—that you would help me when I decided what I wanted to do about my mother?”
“Mhmmm. I remember.”
She sat up and propped her head in her hand, looking down at him.
“I… I’m thinking about going to see her.”
Roman looked thoughtful for a moment. His eyes danced across her face and she sensed him gathering his thoughts.
“I have the address. Whenever you’re ready, let me know,” he said, and then he dipped down for a tender kiss. Elena felt her body grow heavy with relaxation at his touch. She wrapped her arms around him, cuddled into him, and sighed contentedly.
“Thank you for being here for me,” Elena whispered, nearly purring. He pulled her closer into his arms and held her tight.
“Any time,” he said, and then paused. “But we do have one small problem.”
Elena looked up at him. “Huh? What?”
“It seems I failed to distract you, and I’ll have to try again.” His hands played delicately along her flesh, raising goosebumps of pleasure wherever they went. Elena’s heart skipped a beat, and even though the initial excitement was over, she felt herself warming for him all over again.
A touch like that, gentle and yet still so dominant, was all it took. She looked up at him, drowning in the intensity of his gaze, before he claimed her lips once more and rolled them over to pin her to the bed. The weight of his body was a silent statement: Everything will be alright. For a little while, Elena let herself believe that it was true. Despite her concerns, with Roman beside her, she found a modicum of peace. It was as startling as it was refreshing.
She gave herself to him, returning his kiss with fervor. Roman took control once more, and Elena forgot about the rest of the world. They made love long into the night.
11
Roman
Roman couldn’t remember the last time he had slept so well. Instead of restless dreams about his time in the Russian Army, slumber had offered blissful darkness. When he roused himself the next morning, he felt rested and at peace in a way he hadn’t known in a long time.
Then he remembered Elena. A sideways glance showed she was still sleeping. Her long, light brown hair was fanned out on the pillow, sensual and wild. Her lips had parted slightly in sleep. The color in her cheeks from the night before had faded, leaving her creamy skin beautifully pale. Roman drank her in.
How could someone with such a sharp tongue and strong will also be so vulnerable? Last night, when he had held her trembling body, and now this morning, as she slept with the grace of an angel, Roman felt as though he was permitted a rare peek behind the curtain at the softer side of this feisty woman. The more he saw, the more he wanted to see, and somewhere deep inside of himself, he knew he was starting to have feelings for her.
As though sensing his gaze or hearing his thoughts, Elena squirmed a bit in her sleep and opened her eyes. She rubbed her face in an adorable way that reminded him of a kitten, and looked up at him with a soft smile.
“Morning, Chaufferone.”
“Morning.”
Roman couldn’t help but grin. He leaned down and swept the hair out of her face to bring their lips together for a kiss. Her fingers toyed along the back of his neck, sending goosebumps prickling along his flesh.
“Sleep well?” she asked. A playful gleam twinkled behind her bright blue eyes.
“Oh yes, very. We had quite the workout last night.” Roman’s mouth trailed away from hers to trace along the delicate flesh of her ear.
Elena’s lips parted as though she wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Instead, she melted into him as he peppered her neck with a series of light kisses. His mouth continued its slow trail downward toward her full breasts. A tiny moan escaped her when he reached the sensitive nub of her nipple. He sucked at her breast with increasing pressure until she was breathless.
This beautiful, fierce and yet delicate creature left Roman breathless in turn. He moved to work at her other breast while his hands explored every inch of her body. Soft skin. Full hips. Long legs.
When his hand slipped beneath the blankets to circle the naked outer lips of her pussy, her fingers rooted in his hair.
It surprised Roman when she tugged him away to look at him with reluctance.
“Are… are you okay?” he asked uncertainly.
“I just can’t stop thinking about my mom.” Elena bit her lower lip and averted her eyes from him. Roman’s heart sank. He flopped down into the bed next to her and pulled her to his chest to plant a tender kiss at the top of her head.
It pained him to see her hurting. Perhaps that was both the charm and the danger of opening to her, caring for her. A broken family and a broken heart weren’t half as easy to fix as the cars in the garage, but comforting her now seemed to be a step in the right direction.
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now,” he said softly as he rested his head against hers.
“It’s been almost ten years. Is she still the same person? Does she still like listening to Stravinsky, like she did when I was little? It hurts not to know.” Elena turned to Roman with tears glittering in the corners of her eyes. “Now that I know she’s alive, I also know what I’m missing. Each minute that passes is a minute where I know she is out there, without me, alone and forgotten. I have to go see her, Roman. Today.”
“You’re sure… today?” He didn’t want to insult her by asking if she was calm and collected enough to go so soon, but he couldn’t help wondering.
“Yes, today. But… there’s one more thing.” Elena twisted in his arms to regard him with something akin to apology. “I need to go alone.”
Protectiveness surged through Roman. She wanted to go alone? Without him there to squeeze her hand and tell her everything was going to be alright? Ever since she had learned of her mother, he had been there for her as a rock while she’d snuggled against him for comfort, and he’d listened to her tearfully spill out her fears. Her going alone meant he couldn’t help ease her pain, and it also meant that he wouldn’t be there to protect her if something bad happened.
There was protecting Elena emotionally, yes, but also the very real threat of something physical happening. She seemed so vulnerable, so genuine, that as time wound on, Roman found it more and more challenging to question whether or not she was truly a defector. Either way, though, allowing her off the mansion’s grounds without him seemed unwise.
If she was lying about her defector status, and she had ulterior motives, then letting her go alone would mean letting her out of sight to potentially do something nefarious. That might threaten Viktor.
If she wasn’t lying, however, and had truly defected, then there was the very real threat of her father or his henchmen trying to abduct or even kill her. If that happened, he didn’t want to think about the consequences of her betraying Anatoly.
And yet, the way they were connected now… letting her go alone still seemed like the only option. For a situation as tender and delicate as this, he felt there was no other way for Elena to reunite with her mother. His presence would only hamper her reconnection.
Roman did his best to keep the hurt and worry from his face. He nodded, then pressed another kiss to her head.
“I said it before, and I meant it—whatever help you need with your mom, I’m there for you.”
Elena hugged against him tight and exhaled in relief.
“Thank you, Roman.”
“I’ll drive you to Croft Estates, though. You can go in alone, but… in case something happens, I want to be there, and I’ll be there for you when you decide it’s time to leave.” He shifted his weight on the bed and pursed his lips, looking down on her. Uneasiness still nagged at him, but deep down he knew he was doing the right thing. “When do you want to leave?”
“Right away. I can’t bear to wait another minute.” Elena’s voice was thick with pain. She gave him one final squeeze, then rose from the bed and gathered her nightgown and robe from the floor, where they’d still lain in a rumpled pile from last night’s lovemaking.
“You go get ready,” he told her. “I’ll call the kitchen and have them make a breakfast to go, and will meet you downstairs in the foyer in… let’s say, fifteen minutes?” Roman suggested.
Elena nodded with a soft, forced smile. “That sounds perfect. Thank you, Roman. Just… thank you.”
After she pulled her robe back on and padded down the hall, Roman stood and stretched.
To think he had started with a simple mission to go pick up some cargo from Russia, and now here he was caring for a woman who he had started off loathing. That loathing had faded, and now it resembled adoration. Perhaps even love.
He stepped into his private bathroom to get cleaned up. While he waited for the water from the taps to run hot, his mind ran, as well.
For so long, he had kept himself at a distance from others for the sake of his job. Being a driver, pilot, bodyguard, and confidant for Viktor required his utmost time and focus. It wasn’t just a job to him, however; it was his purpose. His place in the world.
Originally, he had thought his place was in the Russian Army, as had been the case for his father, and his father’s father. But after his superior officer had made a poor decision that had gotten most of his team killed, and after Roman had lost his temper and attacked his superior officer for killing his team members, his friends, a dishonorable discharge had left him nowhere else to go. He’d fled Russia and ended up homeless in Boston.
That’s when Viktor had found him. Viktor, his best friend from childhood, when they’d both been growing up in Russia—by luck, he’d happened to pass him on the streets one day. Roman had been filthy and begging for scraps in those days. Viktor, however, had looked much… fancier, that was the only word Roman’s mind could come to. Their happenstance reunion had led to conversation. Conversation had led to Viktor learning of Roman’s time in the army. Immediately, Viktor had hired Roman on, and ever since that fateful day, Roman had dedicated himself to the Sokolovs.
His purpose seemed to be changing now, though. Seeing Elena’s anguish over her mother had sparked something in him, and he felt an overwhelming need to see her taken care of. The depth of his caring for her was starting to rival the depth of the duty he felt to his job.
Elena. Roman held her image in his mind as he showered. The heat of the water was soothing against his skin as he considered her.
Had he already gotten too close? Initially, he’d just wanted to keep an eye on her. But the more time they spent together, the more Roman found himself growing to like her. Now that they’d shared an intimate night together, there was no going back. Her pain and vulnerability tugged at Roman’s heart in a way he’d never experienced before.
He would drive her to see her mother and keep an eye on her as best he could. Even though he trusted her now, Roman still feared the potential for his feelings for Elena interfering with his ability to perform his duties for Viktor.
Only time would tell, he decided as he stepped out of the shower. For now, he would tend to her. And if a problem arose, he would take care of it, just as he always had.
12
Elena
Anticipation twisted in Elena’s gut as they pulled up to Croft Estates. From the outside, the assisted living facility looked almost lavish. A large ornate water fountain splashed in oscillating patterns just beyond the front gate, and the building itself reminded Elena of a large white manor house. Perhaps her mother had been living in comfort despite the unfortunate circumstances, Elena thought to herself as Roman parked.
“You’re sure you’re going to be okay?” He looked over at her.
Elena paused for a moment to find words. What could she say? No, she wasn’t sure she was going to be okay, because even though this place looked promising, she didn’t know how things were going to go. Excitement and dread both danced in her stomach and made her palms sweat.
“I’ll be fine,” she said at last, giving him a tight-lipped smile. “Thank you again for driving me, and thank you again for letting me do this on my own terms.”
“You’re welcome. Just… just know that you aren’t alone, okay? Whatever happens, I’m here for you.”
“Thank you, Roman.” She gave him a peck on the cheek, then exited the car.
The walk from the parking lot to the front door made her feel like she’d come to the end of a marathon. Elena’s legs were trembling, her knees wobbly, and she clutched her purse to her chest almost protectively. While her body might not have been moving all that quickly, her mind raced, questioning what she would say, how she would react, what she might ask... Half of her expected to find a scene of horror, with her mother sitting neglected in a dark, suffocating space, while the other half of her foresaw a clean, pleasant facility where her mother was well cared for and truly happy.
Did her father visit? Elena wondered if he had simply dumped her mother here to rot alone, or if he slipped in from time to time and checked up on her. She sincerely hoped her dad had visited, just so that her mom wouldn’t have been forgotten completely, but her gut told her otherwise.
Her father was a man of utility, rooted in ‘the real world’ and usefulness. Once something was no longer of use to him, he discarded it without mercy. Elena recalled him chastising her for wasting her time reading Goosebumps books as a child instead of ‘learning something useful.’
Her mother had struggled with MS for as long as Elena could remember. Right around the time she had ‘died,’ Elena recalled her mother being unable to get out of bed without help, and unable to walk without a walker. Her father’s attitude about usefulness must have extended to her mother, much to Elena’s chagrin, and she wasn’t holding out hope that her father had done more than push her aside, now that she knew her mother was alive.
It was too easy to fall into ruminating on her dad, on blaming him, and let the hurt fester, so Elena forced her thoughts back to the present. She was here for a reason, and she would see it through.
The staff buzzed her into the front doors. She signed in at the front desk and asked about her mother.
“Raisa Popov? Yes, she’s here. To be honest, I’m a little surprised to see someone visiting her.”
Elena’s heart sank, despite her mental preparations.
“She doesn’t have many guests?” Elena asked even though she already knew the answer.
“Not a single one who’s come here just to see her. We get the charities, the churches, and even the occasional school field trip down to put on shows or do something to brighten the day for our residents, of course, but you’re the first one who’s signed in for Raisa.”
Elena forced down a lungful of stale air and willed herself not to let dread show on her face. No matter what the circumstances, she had to stay strong. Her mother deserved that much from her after such a long time spent apart.
“Well, I’m here now,” she said with a laugh she hoped didn’t come across as uneasy. “Do I need to wait for someone to, um, escort me, or can I just… go find her myself?”
“Someone will escort you,” the receptionist said. “The staff has
already been notified. Someone will be here briefly.”
“Thanks.”
Elena cast a glance across the lobby and through the windows of the reinforced doors leading into the building’s interior. There was no question that the facility was well-maintained and high class, but there was still a sterile, uncomfortable feeling to it.
It’s a prison, she thought to herself, crossing one arm over her chest nervously. It’s done up prettily and maintained, and the staff is soft-spoken and always smiling, but it’s still a prison. And my father put my mother here for life…
A pang of regret and frustration clenched in Elena’s chest. She understood that her father was the kind of man who got shit done when it needed to be done, and who didn’t tolerate anything less than excellence, but to do this? To the woman he’d supposedly loved?
She wondered what he would have done to her if she’d proved less than useful… or what he’d think if he discovered that she’d fallen into bed with the Sokolov driver. Roman was far from being the powerful, dominant leader that her father had always told her she’d end up marrying—in station if not in personality. She had a feeling that, if her father found out, there would be consequences.
How had she never seen that side of him before?
A young man in scrubs arrived in the lobby. He smiled politely at Elena, greeted her quietly, and then led her through the reinforced doors and into the interior of the facility. It looked like an apartment building, Elena thought as they walked. The doors were numbered and cheerful enough. There were seasonal wreaths on some of them, and children’s artwork on others. Grandchildren, she imagined, who had come to visit.
The door they came to a stop in front of was barren, however. Elena’s heart dropped into her stomach. All of the cheer was sucked out of the atmosphere around her, leaving the same sterile, captive feeling she’d experienced back in the lobby.
The Sokolov Brothers: The Complete Series Page 17