Not now, and not ever.
And as he kissed her, he knew that whether he loved her or hated her, the pain would never leave. He might as well love her and risk the tragic ending, rather than an aborted beginning.
Chapter Twenty-One
Grady poked around the ruins of his parents’ cabin early Saturday morning. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, since he wasn’t a fire investigator.
The fire hadn’t been an accident. If it was directed at him, he needed to get to the bottom of it before Cait or any other member of his family got hurt.
He hadn’t said anything to Brian, but every man whose house was set on fire had slept with Salem Pryde: Tim, Duane, Jake, Chief, himself. Of course, the list of men sleeping with her was longer, including Paul and another half a dozen guys at the base camp.
He circled what was once the porch and stared at the spot where the front door used to be.
Someone had left a cross made of railroad spikes. The ground had been brushed clean of ashes, and the longer side of the cross was pounded into a charred log.
This had to be a message from one deranged person, but who was it aimed at?
Last Christmas, Cait had been kidnapped by an ex-boyfriend, and Brian had gotten on the wrong side of a powerful senator who found out he’d had an affair with his deceased wife.
What other enemies did his family have?
Grady took a picture with his cell phone camera and texted it to Brian. You cleared the area, right? Someone nailed a cross to one of the wooden beams. Call the sheriff and have him take it for evidence.
He was about to get into his pickup truck when something rustled in the dry brush behind him.
Grady snapped to attention, narrowing his eyes.
A gray dog with floppy ears and matted fur sniffed the air and watched him.
“Betsy.” Grady recognized her from the posters. “Come here.”
The dog skittered away when he went toward it. Her head lowered, and she tucked her tail between her legs, shivering.
Grady got down on his haunches and put his hand out. “You must be hungry. Come here, sweetie.”
The tip of the dog’s tail wagged, but she was still leery.
Reaching into his truck, Grady found a wrapped rawhide bone he’d bought for Cedar. It wasn’t much, but hopefully, it would get the lost dog to trust him. She would be hungry, since she’d been lost quite a while.
He called Linx and told her he’d found Betsy at the site of his parents’ cabin.
“That’s great. Jessie’s with me right now,” Linx said. “We’re on our way.”
Grady kept watch over Betsy as she tentatively approached him and took the rawhide bone. He looked away from the dog, appearing disinterested, and waited for Linx to drive up.
Their date night had been both special and sweet. After the candles burned down and the playlist looped, he and Linx had eaten cold steak and drank warm wine. They’d held hands and taken a walk with Cedar through the dusky woods.
The trail took them up by the creek and Cedar led the way, her ears upright. She scampered from rock to rock, looking back to make sure she hadn’t left them behind.
After the walk, he’d bade her goodnight instead of going back into the cabin for a nightcap. They’d kissed under the moonlight, and when he drove away, he spied her shadow up in the loft window waving to him.
He wasn’t sure if he preferred her so subdued, but knowing Linx with her short fuse, she was sure to fire up again without a moment’s notice.
Somehow, that thought got his juices flowing.
Linx’s SUV drove up the gravel driveway, raising a trail of dust. Betsy slunk to the back of the burned cabin, but Grady wasn’t too worried.
“Betsy!” Jessie jumped out of the SUV even before it had fully parked. “Betsy!”
Woof! Woof! The dog bounded toward the little girl whose eyes popped wide along with her mouth.
Squealing with happiness, she ran at the dog and fell in a heap over her, hugging and trading kisses.
The love and affection passing between the dog and child made Grady’s heart swell and his throat lump up. It had been a long time since he’d had a dog who loved him so unconditionally.
Linx joined in the lovefest. She knelt down to hug both the dog and the girl who wiggled and bounced, full of excitement. The entire picture was sweet to the bone, and Linx laughed as the girl whispered in her ear.
Both of them sported similar expressions as the dog licked them, their eyes closed with pure enjoyment and identical closemouthed smiles, head tilted slightly up.
Grady’s entire body jolted as if someone had kicked his behind.
Could this child be his? And hers?
They looked almost like twins, although years apart, and there was genuine affection between them.
But no, he’d met the middle-aged woman who was Jessie’s mother. She must have had her late in life.
Or not at all?
Again, questions raised in his head.
He took a picture of Linx and Jessie, catching their identical smiles, and texted it to Cait without a message.
A jumble of emotions swamped him as he watched the woman who had him twisted up inside and out, and the sweet little girl whose dark-brown hair and eyes and olive-colored tan resembled Linx more than Mrs. Patterson’s washed out gray eyes and translucently pale skin.
Linx noticed him staring. Turning, she stood and came to him, all smiles. “How’d you find Betsy? You don’ t know how nervous Jessie was on the drive up. She kept worrying that Betsy would run away or that you’d mistaken some other dog, so we came right away without waiting for her mother.”
“I knew it was Betsy as soon as I saw her. I gave her a rawhide chew toy to keep her nearby.” Grady dotted a kiss on Linx’s cheek. “I have to show you something.”
While Jessie played with Betsy, Grady led Linx to the metal cross erected over the burnt logs of the cabin. “Kind of reminds me of that sculpture your mother left on your porch.”
Linx’s lips pursed tight, but she shook her head. “That’s a simple cross made of railroad spikes. Anyone could have placed it there. My mother always uses more than one medium. Metal, pieces of bone, rock chips, even dirt and sometimes feathers and bits of skin. This is beneath her. It has no imagination.”
“Sounds gruesome.” He gave her a pat on the behind. “And you sound proud of your mother.”
She averted her gaze and shrugged, but didn’t answer him.
“Miss Linx,” Jessie said, dragging Betsy by the collar. “Mommy said Betsy’s lost forever and I can get a puppy. Will she still give me a puppy?”
“We’ll have to ask her.” Linx’s face relaxed, smiling. She ruffled the little girl’s head. “Let’s go find your mommy. Did you thank Grady for finding your dog?”
“Yes!” Jessie turned those big, brown eyes on him, blinking sweetly. “Thank you, Superman!”
“Superman?” Grady grinned, glancing at Linx.
“Yes, you’re Wonder Woman’s boyfriend.” Jessie tugged Linx’s hand but faced Grady. “And you found Betsy.”
“I think Betsy found me.” Grady chuckled. “Will she let me pet her now?”
Somehow the sound of him being Linx’s boyfriend not only didn’t bother him, but made him feel warm and gooey inside.
“Sure,” Jessie said. “Betsy, meet Superman. Superman, meet Betsy. Betsy, say thank you and shake.”
Betsy raised her paw for Grady, and even though he felt silly, he shook her paw and smiled at Jessie.
The thought that she could be his daughter was too painful for him to acknowledge, because it would mean Linx had told him one big whopping lie.
That she’d never been pregnant.
Even worse, she’d betrayed him by giving his baby away.
But as warped as Linx was, she would never do something this heinous, would she?
Grady took a deep breath and watched Linx, Jessie, and Betsy get into Linx’s SUV and drive off.
H
e was overreacting, overwrought due to the rash of suspicious fires. Many people had dark hair and eyes, especially in California.
Sheesh. At the rate he was going, every child he saw would trigger his paternal instincts. He needed to focus on the arson investigation, and the only way to find out if the fires were connected was to go to the source and retrace the arsonist’s steps.
“The gig is up.” Tami blew her way into the dog rescue office and flung her large kente cloth purse on the sofa.
Linx looked up from giving Ginger a bath in the kitchen sink. “What happened? What gig?”
Tami marched toward her with her hands on her hips. “Grady, that’s what. Tell me what’s going on.”
“Nothing’s going on between me and him.” Linx wrapped a fluffy towel around little Ginger and dried her. “We had a date night, and that was it. He brought Cedar back, and we’ve buried the hatchet.”
“That’s not what concerns me.” Tami opened the refrigerator and grabbed a can of soda. “It’s Cait. She showed me a picture Grady texted her of you and Jessie.”
“Where? What picture?” Linx’s pulse ratcheted up a few notches. “I haven’t taken any pictures with her.”
“Grady took a picture of you two hugging Betsy yesterday,” Tami said. “He texted it to Cait. You two look like twins.”
“So? What did Cait say? She can’t prove anything.”
“She didn’t say anything. She showed me the picture and watched my face.”
“Oh, crap. Did you give me away?”
“Of course, I didn’t, but I’m sure she suspects. You better fess up to Grady and come clean.”
Linx held Ginger close to her chest and paced around the kitchen table, her heart throbbing wildly.
“I’m finally getting along with him. I can see us being friends, and maybe develop into something normal. I know I have to tell him, but he’s only going to hate me again. He hasn’t forgiven me for stealing Cedar.”
“Oh, posh. Any man will forgive any woman if you have him in the right position.” Tami waved her hand dismissively. “I’ll tell you how to do it. Invite him over for a bottle of wine.”
“Won’t work. We already shared a bottle of wine and nothing happened.” Linx swallowed the frustration bottled up inside of her. “He insisted on taking Cedar for a walk. After we returned, he kissed me goodnight outside and left me high and dry. Of course, I’d taken sex off the table, but I thought he’d at least try.”
“Did you flash a boob? That should work. Or start stripping. That’ll get his attention.”
Linx cuddled Ginger and put her in the playpen while she mixed her formula. “Yeah, but we don’t talk much when we’re in the throes of passion.”
“Then tell him while he’s still basking in the afterglow.” Tami poked her upper arm. “Look at you. You’re wound up as tight as a virgin in a chastity belt, and you need to get good and laid.”
Linx rolled her eyes. “You’re tempting me, but I don’t think a good lay is going to fix what’s wrong between me and Grady.”
“It might not, but since you stopped giving him favors, he’s been as grouchy as a grizzly wearing a beehive on his tail.” Tami swatted Linx’s behind. “Get going. I don’t want to see you back until you’re wearing that delicious ‘I just got laid grin.’”
“Right, it’ll be more like my ‘I just got laid and dumped’ crying face.”
“At least you got laid first. Yep, I’d definitely get off first and answer questions later. It’s about time you two had a heart-to-heart talk anyway. And if you don’t, I’ll reserve the right to tell Grady for you.”
Linx narrowed her eyes, feeling smoke seep from her nostrils. “If you do, I’ll never say a good word to my brother for you.”
“You’ll thank me, girlfriend.” Tami grinned. “Besides, a bad word might get me further with that squarepants.”
“Fine, I’ll put out feelers with Todd for you.”
“You do that,” Tami clapped both hands on Linx’s shoulders. “It’s about time he stops letting me off with a warning. I mean, he needs to get me good and arrested so I can flash him a boob or two.”
“I’ll work on it. Promise. My brother can be pretty dense when it comes to women.”
“No denser than you when it comes to men.” Tami pitched the empty can of soda into the wastebasket. “Text him now and ask him to come over. Don’t make him hear it from Cait.”
“Did you spill?” Linx grabbed her friend by the hand.
“No, but you know how my face gives everything away.” Tami’s lips twisted downward and she blinked. “I’m sorry.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Linx couldn’t put it off any longer. This thing with Jessie ate away at her, and tore her heart to pieces. She texted Grady a simple message.
I have a huge secret and you’re not going to like it. Meet me at my place.
There was no ignoring such a message, and sure enough, he texted back. Coming over.
Date night had been a new beginning, and tonight would be the dreaded end.
The fact that Grady didn’t ask her what the secret was about meant he had an inkling.
Swallowing the bile that surged from her gut, she brushed her teeth and took a quick shower. She wasn’t going to flash him a boob or use sex to soften the blow.
There would be no makeup. No perfume. No sexy dress. No bare thighs.
She would face his wrath head on and endure the aftermath, whatever it was.
Cedar alerted her that Grady was at the door, so she hurriedly pulled a Dickies work shirt over her camisole and patted her damp hair down.
Slipping her feet into flip-flops, she shuffled down the stairs and threw open the door.
Grady stood there, his face foreboding and grim, his eyebrows clenched and his jaw tight.
“What’s this big secret you’re keeping from me?”
Instead of answering, she took his hand.
It was stiff and unresponsive, but at least he didn’t twist out of her grasp.
“Come upstairs and let me show you.”
His mouth twisted to one side, and he narrowed his eyes, but he didn’t resist.
Gingerly, she led him up to her room up on the loft—her most private sanctuary.
“Have a seat.” She patted her futon and opened the drawer on her nightstand.
He stood at the doorway, looking around her room, his eyes suspicious. “I don’t know what game you’re playing, but I’m tired of it. Tell me what you did to my baby.”
Boom. She bent over, crumpling as if he’d punched her in the gut. Her hand shaking, she dug through the top drawer, setting aside her gun and Bible until she found what she was looking for.
Two of her most precious photos.
She handed him the first picture, and he raised an eyebrow. “Why are you showing me this?”
It was a picture taken of them back in her training days. In it, she and Grady sat on the grass at the town square. She was wearing a white tank top and black jeans with holes across both knees and he was holding her, happy, as if they had forever in front of them.
It was right before he told her he was going away, and asked her not to wait for him.
“I want you to remember us that day. When you asked me to meet you in the park, on that field of wildflowers, I thought you were about to propose to me. I thought you were offering me forever. Instead …”
“I broke your heart,” he finished for her.
“No, my heart is too hard to break.” Even now, she didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. “You rejected me, but you know what? It made me tougher and stronger.”
He flapped the picture in front of her. “Were you pregnant at the time?”
She nodded. “But I didn’t know it.”
“Where’s the baby now?”
Linx unveiled the second picture. It was Jessie within a few hours of birth. Her eyes were closed and her tiny fists were clenched tight.
Grady drew in a thick breath. “Who is this?
”
“Your daughter, Jessie.”
“You gave her away? How could you? You never told me.” Grady’s words lanced through Linx’s heart as she clutched his shirt and collapsed onto her futon. Her pulse thudded behind both ears, and she gasped for breath.
“You didn’t want anything to do with me. What else could I do?” Linx averted her gaze, unable to withstand the way Grady’s narrowed eyes drilled into her soul. “You said I lied.”
“Dates, Linx. Tell me the dates.”
“She was born in July.”
“Was she early?”
“Full term. I thought she was early, but she was actually late. So late, she almost died.” Linx turned her face into her pillow as Cedar came up behind her and nudged her, trying to comfort her.
It no longer mattered what Grady thought about her. Nothing mattered other than Jessie. She’d given her a better life with normal parents—the kind who went to church and read her bedtime stories. A father who coached softball and a mother who doted on her, celebrating every birthday with a party and showered her with love, pretty dresses, cookies, dance lessons, and toys.
“I, I don’t know what to say.” Grady laid down next to her. “Why did you wait so long to contact me?”
“I didn’t know if I was still pregnant.” Linx wiped her eyes. “I had bleeding. I thought I wasn’t pregnant, so I counted from the wrong date. I didn’t know until she was born that she was full term.”
“You didn’t get prenatal care?” Grady swept her hair aside, his voice kinder.
“I didn’t want anyone to know.”
“You didn’t tell your family?”
“Not at the time.” She didn’t have a mother who cared, and Tami was off in college. She was a nineteen-year-old—she was in denial, wishing it would go away.
“Only Salem knew, and she said if I had a miscarriage, then no one needed to know. But then the baby kept growing.”
“Salem was with you?”
“Yes, she was the only one who knew. I didn’t even tell my family I was back. They thought I was smokejumping with you. Salem got all my groceries and I basically hid from everyone.”
Summer Love Puppy: The Hart Family (Have A Hart Book 6) Page 14