by Lola Gabriel
“That was close,” Noah said. “If we’d been half an hour later, we’d have been too late.” Chessa slipped her hand back into his.
“But you weren’t,” she said. Raina pushed the sword back down the back of her jeans.
“You know this isn’t over, don’t you? Chessa won’t be safe now until she turns,” she said. Noah nodded his head.
“Yeah. I know. Don’t worry. I’ll keep Chessa safe. If Kyle wants a war, then he’ll get a fucking war, because I’m not letting Chessa out of my sight for even another moment.”
“Once I turn, it’ll be over, though, right?” Chessa said.
Noah nodded again, glancing down at her. “Yeah. You’ll be a bear and of no use to Kyle. But don’t worry, Chessa. I’m not going to let him get anywhere near you.”
“But that will cause a war. You said so yourself. Turn me now.”
“What?” Noah asked.
“Turn me now,” Chessa repeated. “We’re going to do it anyway, why not just do it now, before it causes a whole lot of trouble? I wanted to talk to my mom about it all, but nothing she could say would change my mind, so I can talk to her after it’s done.”
Noah and Raina exchanged a worried glance.
“What’s going on?” Chessa demanded. “Don’t think I don’t see you two looking at each other like that. Does it have to be a full moon or something?”
“No.” Noah laughed softly and shook his head. The laughter faded as quickly as it had come, leaving him stoic and serious. “It’s just that the first time turning is painful, Chessa. Like, more painful than anything you can imagine. We usually spend some time planning it and preparing the human for it.”
“If it means a lifetime with you, I can handle it,” Chessa said.
Noah knew she could. She was strong. It was himself he was worried about. What if he couldn’t handle it? The thought of Chessa in excruciating pain as every bone in her body broke and her whole biological nature changed killed him inside. Still, she was right. It would be worth it for eternal love. And it was going to have to happen soon, so why not now?
He stepped forward and took Chessa’s hands in his.
“Raina and I will be right here by your side,” he said. “When you first change, you won’t be in complete control of yourself, so Raina and I will be in our bear forms just in case you hurt us.”
“After the first time you turn, it gets easier. It will still hurt at first, but eventually, you just kind of get used to it.”
“How do I turn back?” Chessa asked.
“You just tell yourself you want to, and you do. It’s instinctual. Imagine you’re standing here and you want to get to that tree,” Noah said, pointing to the line of trees. “You walk without thinking about the process of walking—just knowing you want to get to the tree is enough. And that’s what changing is like. It’s kind of hard to explain, but it will come naturally to you.”
“Okay,” Chessa said. She didn’t sound very sure about it, though. Noah squeezed her hands in his.
“Are you sure you want to do this now? We can go back to my apartment, talk everything through, and you can do it tomorrow if you’d rather,” he said.
“No,” Chessa replied, a look of determination on her face. She straightened her back and held her head up high, looking Noah straight in the eye. “We’re doing this now.”
* * *
Chessa’s heart was racing. Of course she’d known she would have to turn if she had the Sanmere protein. She had accepted it in an abstract kind of a way, but now that it was real, she was nervous. It wasn’t so much the pain. She trusted Noah when he said it would pass. It was more the enormity of it all; the things she didn’t know. But she didn’t want to wait. It could cause a war, and Chessa thought that the longer she waited, the more they talked about what would happen, the more nervous she would become. It was best to just do it and worry about everything else as it came.
She pushed the worries aside and looked into Noah’s eyes. Her fear melted away as she gazed at him. It was worth anything to be with him. And not just for a human lifetime, but for eternity. How many people got that kind of chance? Suddenly, she knew in her heart she could do this and that everything would be okay.
“So how do we do this then?” she asked.
Noah looked around him and pointed to a large, manicured lawn. He took Chessa’s hand in his and began walking towards it, Raina at his other side. He stopped walking when they were roughly in the center of the lawn.
“We’ll do it here so we have plenty of room. Raina and I will turn, and then I’ll scratch you, and then bite you in the same spot. You’ll feel warmth spreading through your body. It will get warmer until it’s hot, and it will feel like you’re burning from the inside out. I know it sounds ridiculous, but try to stay calm and welcome the pain. The quicker you do, the quicker your transition will be. Once you’ve completed the first transition, that’s it. You’ll be an immortal bear shifter.”
“You make it sound so easy,” Chessa laughed softly.
“It’s far from easy, but you’re strong, Chessa. You can do this. Hell, you fought Freya’s mind control!” Raina smiled. “This will be nothing to you.”
Somehow, Raina’s words made Chessa feel like she could do this. Noah had to say all the right things, but here was Raina, a virtual stranger, telling her she was strong. That she could do it. And she could.
“Let’s do it,” Chessa said again. She didn’t add her other thought—Before I change my mind—because if Noah thought there was even a tiny part of her that wasn’t ready for this, he would refuse to do it, and Chessa didn’t want to put him and his pack, his family, in any danger.
Raina pulled the Ure sword out and walked over to the line of trees along the edge of the driveway.
“We don’t want any accidents,” she explained over her shoulder. Chessa and Noah waited for her to deposit the sword and come back to them.
“Ready?” Noah asked.
Chessa nodded. Noah nodded to Raina, and they began to change. Chessa watched in fascination, a new kind of interest filling her. Soon, she would be able to do that. She would experience the power, the freedom, the exhilaration of having a wild side.
Noah walked over to her. He pressed a large paw on her shoulder, pushing her towards the ground. She sat down. and he kept pressing so she lay back. He swiped at her top, pushing it up and exposing her stomach. She tensed, waiting for the pain as he extended his claws. Chessa gasped and gritted her teeth as intense pain filled her abdomen. Noah leaned his head down and sank his teeth into the flesh of her stomach between the claw marks of his scratch. This time, she couldn’t stop herself from crying out as the pain brought tears to her eyes.
She lay still, feeling blood running down her sides. Warmth began to spread out from her stomach, filling her body, and she relaxed as the pain of the bite and the scratch started to fade. Her body was getting warmer, an uncomfortable level of heat filling her now. The heat intensified, and she started to feel as though her insides were on fire. She remembered Noah’s words and forced herself to embrace the fiery pain.
She screamed as one of her legs jerked up off the ground, snapping and twisting. Pain engulfed her senses, cutting her off from the world as her whole body began to twist, bones snapping. She couldn’t see or hear. She was just pain. Her skin felt itchy, and she became aware of a tickling sensation as fur began to sprout over her body. She felt her face changing, her nose becoming longer, and ears sprouting up on the top of her head, her human ears melting away. She writhed and screamed as the pain went on and on and her body contorted into shapes she didn’t know it could make. She could hear a growling, snarling sound, and she realized it was coming from her. What she thought were human screams where actually the sounds of a pained animal.
The pain began to fade, and her vision began to come back, her hearing with it. She blinked. Her sight was better than it had ever been. She could see each individual blade of grass, each tiny grain of soil beneath them. She
could hear sounds she had never heard before; the feet of insects as they went about their business in the grass, the beating wings of the birds above her. Her sense of smell was heightened. She could smell the atmosphere, the scent of Noah and Raina.
The pain continued to fade until it was nothing more than a memory, and Chessa was filled with something new, something powerful, something freeing. Slowly, she rolled onto her front and sat up. She looked down at herself, lifting her hands up to look at them. They were paws now, with long sharp claws. She heard herself roar, a sound filled with euphoria. She got to her four feet and then stood up on two and threw her head back, roaring again. She looked at the two bears beside her. Her pack—her family.
She ran, and they ran with her as she enjoyed the speed and the newfound freedom that only opening herself up to this animal side of her that she never knew existed could bring.
Epilogue
Three Months Later
Raina walked quickly down the street, full of purpose. So much had changed in the last three months, all of it for the better. She thought back over everything that had happened since the moment she and Noah had rescued Chessa from Freya’s lair.
Chessa had turned into a bear, and although the transition had to be traumatizing, Chessa had shown no signs that she was anything but ecstatic with her new life. She and Raina had become friends quickly, and often, the three of them would go out into the woods or the mountains and run free.
Noah and Chessa had completed the mating ceremony, much to the dismay of his parents and the joy of Ally and Lexi. The pack had accepted Chessa, and along with her, the possibility of a female alpha. Raina kind of hoped it happened. The pack had been stuck in the dark ages for too long. Chessa had confided to Raina that she was six weeks pregnant, so they would find out soon enough whether they would be getting a male or female heir.
Noah was the alpha of the pack now, and already, things were changing. He had big plans to make the pack more inclusive and less of a hierarchy system. The pack had quickly voted for Noah to take over, even though he wasn’t even twenty-nine yet. When they had learned what his father had done, how he had been willing to sell a human to a Matchmaker, they knew he wasn’t the right leader for them.
The pack had called for Noah’s parents to be removed altogether, but Noah had extended the hand of forgiveness, and his parents were allowed to stay, although their status had been stripped from them, and they would need to once more earn the trust of the pack. Once that was sorted, Noah’s first act as the alpha was to pardon Raina’s father and welcome him back into the pack. He explained that Raina had been instrumental in stopping Freya and saving Chessa, and as such, the family’s debt was well and truly paid.
Chessa’s mom had been surprisingly okay with the whole immortality thing. She had always known Chessa and Noah were soul mates, and if that meant her daughter could live a life of eternal happiness, who was she to argue? She didn’t really understand how Chessa could be a bear shifter, and she soon stopped asking questions, just happy that Chessa was happy. She had made a full recovery from her heart attack, and Harvey was now a firm friend of hers, though she had no idea he was a vampire.
Yes, it had been an eventful but good few months. And yet, something had been missing for Raina. There had been no real spark in her. She had tried to puzzle it out, and as always, it came back to her lifelong search for her soul mate.
It had occurred to her this morning that she was wrong. It wasn’t love she needed, even if that would be nice. It was a purpose. She wanted to do something good with her life, something useful. The answer had been surprisingly simple, so simple that at first, Raina had rejected the notion, but it wouldn’t leave her alone. It had niggled at her until she’d allowed herself to explore it, and when she pictured herself doing it, everything fell into place. Now she just had to hope she could get Noah to agree to it.
She crossed her fingers on one hand as she rang Noah’s doorbell with the other. He and Chessa had moved into the house he had grown up in, the rightful home of the pack alpha. His parents now lived in a modest home just up the road, and they seemed to be making the best of it. Raina thought Noah’s mom was secretly relieved that his dad was no longer the alpha. It meant he had no pressure on his shoulders and more time to spend with her.
Chessa beamed as she pulled the door open and saw Raina standing there.
“Hey, Raina, come on in. You’ll have to excuse the mess. I wasn’t expecting you.”
Raina laughed as she looked around. There was no mess whatsoever. “I’m sorry to just barge in on you like this, but I need to speak to Noah. Both of you, actually.”
“Is everything okay?” Chessa asked, looking at Raina in concern.
Raina nodded. “Yes. I feel better than I have in decades.”
“Go on in and take a seat. I’ll grab Noah,” Chessa said. “Do you want anything to eat or drink?”
Raina shook her head and headed into the lounge. She didn’t sit. She was too full of nervous energy. She paced back and forth across the carpet, trying not to let the spark of hope become a full-blown flame. There was every chance Noah would deny her request.
Chessa came into the lounge, closely followed by Noah. They sat down, side by side on the couch, and Raina forced herself to sit in the chair opposite them. She perched on the edge, her hands clenched tightly together.
“I’ve been doing some soul searching recently,” she said, looking at them both in turn. “For a long time, I’ve felt like my life is kind of going nowhere, and I want a purpose. I think I’ve found one, but it will mean leaving the pack. I know the timing is awful, with you being pregnant, Chess, and if you two don’t want me to go, then I won’t. But I would ask you to hear me out.”
Noah nodded for her to go on.
“The most alive I have felt in over a century was the moment we took Freya down, and in that moment, I found my purpose, although it’s taken me a while to see it. I want to hunt down Matchmakers and take them out. The practice is outdated and barbaric, and it gives the whole immortal community a bad name. It’s time to put an end to it. I’ve got a lead on a Matchmaker, a prolific one. In New York.”
Noah and Chessa exchanged a look that Raina couldn’t read. She jumped to her feet.
“I’ll go and let you two talk,” she said.
“Sit down, Raina,” Noah told her.
She sat back down, her heart heavy. For him to make such a quick decision, he had to be telling her no.
“Raina, you are a huge asset to the pack, you know that, right?” Noah said. She nodded sadly. “And for that reason, I’m afraid I have to say I can’t let you leave the pack.”
Raina felt as though she had been deflated, but she had known this was a possibility, and she had accepted that she would follow Noah’s orders.
“Okay. Thanks for hearing me out,” she said, getting to her feet.
“I’m not done,” Noah interjected.
“Oh.” Raina forced herself to sit back down. She would endure the lecture about putting the pack’s needs before her own, and then she would go and allow herself to feel the hurt and disappointment somewhere private.
“As I was saying, I can’t let you leave the pack,” Noah said. His face broke into a smile, and his eyes twinkled. “But that doesn’t mean I’m saying you can’t go to New York, or wherever your mission might take you. I’m offering you a deal. Go out and hunt Matchmakers, but do it as a pack member.”
“It’s never been done before,” Raina said. “A pack member taking permanent leave.”
Noah shrugged. “Just because it’s never been done before doesn’t mean it can’t be done.”
“And it wouldn’t be permanent,” Chessa put in. “I want you to do what makes you happy, Raina, but I expect phone calls and visits. My baby is going to need their Auntie Raina.”
“You’re serious?” Raina asked, hardly daring to believe it. “I can go? Without having to formally leave the pack?”
“I’ll be sad to see yo
u go, but yes, if that’s what you want, then I’m serious,” Noah said. “Like Chessa said, we want you to be happy. Just know that you’re welcome back anytime.”
“Thank you,” Raina said. “Both of you. And you can be sure I’ll keep in touch. You’ll both be sick of hearing from me before long.”
“Never.” Chessa smiled. She stood up and opened her arms, and Raina got to her feet and embraced her. Noah stood up beside them, and she embraced him, too.
“Just give me a couple of days to sort the paperwork and get things organized, okay?” Noah said.
“Sure!” Raina smiled. “I’ll have to sort my apartment and get my furniture in storage, too.” She left the house, Noah promising to let her know the second everything was set up. She was humming a happy tune to herself as she walked back towards her apartment, thinking of the new life she was about to start—a life ruled by purpose instead of her incessant need for love.
* * *
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