Her expression dampened. “Your son is an asshole.”
I cringed.
His smile faded. “I’m sorry?”
Placing my hands on her shoulders, I said, “If you’ll excuse us.” I then pulled her away and asked, “Why would you say that to him?”
Hailey took a bite of her hamburger and let out a deep sigh. “That kid is the worst. I thought his dad should know.”
“Well, maybe next time use a more polite word to convey that?”
“He’s the one who started making fun of my boobs, calling me Cyclops Tit—because he thinks one is bigger than the other.”
I nodded, remembering when she told me that story. “Oh, that jerk?”
“Yes.”
I looked back at the man briefly. “Okay. Well, screw him and his dad, then.”
“That’s what his dad probably wanted….to screw you.”
“Where did you learn that term?”
“I know a lot of things about sex.”
Shit. “Oh, you do, do you? What exactly do you think you know?”
She handed me her plate before sticking her index finger inside a hole formed by her other hand and simulating the act of intercourse.
Add to mental to-do list: speak to Hollis about a birds-and-bees talk with Hailey.
Before I could explore this subject further, my eyes landed on a very flustered-looking Hollis in the distance. He looked like he’d just run a marathon and somehow landed in the Twilight Zone. I handed Hailey back her plate and watched him for a bit.
He’d changed out of his suit and wore a navy polo that hugged his muscles. God, he looked super hot dressed casually. I mean, he was super hot no matter how you cut it, but this was a particularly good look for him. I loved everything about it—from the snug sleeves around his thick biceps to the chunky watch he wore, and the dark jeans I was dying to see molded to his ass.
He was totally oblivious to the starving moms checking him out as he made his way toward us.
Hollis finally spotted us as he weaved through the crowd.
He was out of breath. “I’m sorry I’m late. I thought I had time to go home and change—which I did—but then traffic was a bitch getting here.”
“Language, Hollis,” I scolded.
“Sorry.”
“I’m glad you made it, Uncle Hollsy.”
He cracked a slight smile. “Me, too.”
Hailey had polished off her burger pretty quickly. “You want Elodie’s wiener?” she asked.
His brow furrowed. “Excuse me?”
She held out the hot dog on her plate. “This. She can’t eat it because of her Keto.”
“Ah.” He took the plate from her. “Yeah. Thanks.”
Hailey looked over his shoulder. “I see my friend Jacqueline over there. I’m gonna go talk to her.”
After she took off, Hollis turned to me, holding his hot dog with no bun, looking so awkward and out of place.
I couldn’t help but laugh.
He wasn’t amused. “What the hell is so funny?”
“You.”
His lip twitched. “Me?”
“Yes.”
“Might I ask why I’m so funny?”
I gestured to his hot dog. “You look like you don’t know what to do with that thing. Like you don’t know what to do with yourself here. Like you’re out of your comfort zone. I take it picnics aren’t your jam.”
“Well, I suppose I am...a bit out of my comfort zone.”
“Extra points for showing up.”
“I didn’t realize I was being graded.”
We shared a smile. A breeze blew his musky scent toward me. It was definitely arousing. He was arousing. So freaking handsome.
I tilted my head. “Come on. I’ll show you to the food area where you can get a bun for that lonely wiener.”
We walked together to the large picnic table. I took Hollis’s plate, placed the hot dog in a bun, and added a bunch of fixings. I placed a dollop of potato salad next to it and grabbed him a small bag of chips. I finished off the plate with an apple. I handed him everything with a smile.
“Thanks, Mom,” he joked.
Hailey was playing horseshoes with a few of her friends, so we took a spot under a shady tree near their game. Hollis devoured his ketchup-laden hot dog and potato salad while I ate my plain burger with a fork and continued to watch him. My eyes were glued to his large hands. I loved the protruding veins that ran through them. Every time he licked ketchup off his finger, a shiver ran down my spine.
After he’d polished everything off, he licked his lips and said, “That was good. I haven’t had a hot dog in ages.”
“See? Sometimes it’s nice to do different.”
“Believe me, my entire life has been different from the moment Hailey landed at my door.”
“I know it has. And I also know you’re doing the best you can.”
“Well, thank you for recognizing that. But I’m only as good as the help I have.” He looked down at his plate a moment. “Honestly, I owe you an apology.”
“It’s okay.”
“No, I need to say this.” He paused. “I misjudged you early on, doubted your capabilities as a caretaker. But I can’t imagine a better choice now. Passing you by would have been a huge mistake.”
That warmed me inside and gave me a huge sense of accomplishment.
I smiled. “Wow. I don’t know how to respond to that, because I’m not used to this nice version of Hollis.”
“Don’t get too used to it. It’s probably the nitrates going to my head.”
We laughed again as Hailey came over to us.
“Why did you leave your friends?” I asked.
“Lawrence started playing the horseshoe game, and I didn’t want to be around him.”
“Which one is he?”
“The one in the red.”
No way I was going to let her be bullied by some jackass boy.
“You can’t let him win like that, Hailey. You were there first. By leaving the game, you’re showing him he has an effect on you. Even if he does, don’t let him see that. Don’t give him the satisfaction. Go back into the game, and totally ignore him if he says anything.”
She let out a long breath. “Okay.” She reluctantly walked back over there.
A look of concern clouded Hollis’s expression as he watched her. “What’s the deal with Lawrence?”
“He teases her about her boobs. Apparently, he called her Cyclops Tit, because he claims one of them is bigger than the other.”
Hollis tightened his fist. “Little shit. I should wring his neck.”
“The clincher? The kid’s dad was hitting on me earlier. Hailey comes up to us, and when I introduced her to him, she says, ‘Your son is an asshole.’”
Hollis’s jaw dropped. “I don’t even know whether to be upset at her for that.”
“I know. That’s how I felt. But I suggested she be more polite in getting her point across in the future.”
Hollis and I made easy conversation over the next half hour. Then Hailey came running toward us.
“Elodie, my teacher needs your help.”
“What’s up?”
“The person who was supposed to do the face painting bailed. Mrs. Stein bought all these supplies, but she has no one to do the actual painting. I told her my nanny is an artist.”
“Oh...I don’t know. I’ve never painted someone’s face before.”
“Can you try? Please? There’s no one else to do it, and we all want our faces painted like unicorns.”
What the hell? How hard could it be?
I stood up from the grass and brushed the dirt off my pants.
“Who’s gonna babysit Uncle Hollis if I have to do the face painting? We wouldn’t want him to have to make small talk with PTO moms.”
“Just go set up,” she said. “Uncle Hollis is coming with me anyway.”
Hollis stood up. “Oh? What am I doing?”
She pointed to the corner of the fi
eld. “Me, you, over there. Potato sack race.”
Chapter 11
* * *
Hollis
What the hell did I get myself into?
We were in pairs—parents and their respective children.
“You have to go fast, okay? I want to win the grand prize,” Hailey said.
“What’s the prize?”
“A gift card from Target.”
I would have happily bought her one myself if it meant getting out of this potato sack.
The announcer yelled, “On your mark…get set…go!”
At the sound of the whistle, with my legs stuck in a gray, canvas sack, I began hopping across the open field. I couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous this was. Worse, Hailey was chiding me the whole time because I’d fallen behind the rest of the pack.
“Come on, Uncle Hollsy! You can do better than that!”
I hadn’t been taking it seriously enough. She was right. I could have done better. A lot better. With that realization, I suddenly picked up my speed, hopping as fast as I could with everything I had in me. I managed to pass a few of the pairs and also get quite a bit ahead of Hailey.
I’d finally hit my stride in potato-sack racing when I passed Elodie’s face-painting stand. She was still setting up. A man was standing there talking to her. I wondered if it was the same guy from earlier—the jerk’s father who was trying to get in her pants.
As I hopped along, my eyes became glued to Elodie and that guy. I even turned my head to keep looking after I passed them. That’s when I knocked right into the back of one of the parents.
Oof! We both fell over.
“Shit! I’m sorry. Are you okay?” I asked.
The man was not happy. He didn’t say anything as he picked himself back up and continued the race.
I’d fallen so far behind now that Hailey had pretty much given up on us.
She caught up to me. “Are you okay? How did you fall? Did you trip?”
Yeah. I tripped over my damn dick.
“Yeah. I got distracted.”
“A for effort,” she said, out of breath.
“You sound like Elodie now, grading me.”
She looked over toward the face-painting station. “Looks like Elodie’s all set up. I’m gonna go get in line. Are you gonna be okay without me?”
“Yeah. I’ll manage just fine.”
I went in search of some water and came upon the guy who’d been talking to Elodie when I fell on my ass.
I took a gander at his nametag. “Are you Lawrence’s father, by any chance?”
“Yes. And you are?”
“Hollis LaCroix. Hailey’s uncle. Tell your son to stop disrespecting my niece.”
He sighed. “Look, I just apologized to your nanny. But my son denies doing anything wrong.”
“Well, Hailey’s not a liar. So if she says someone is bullying her, she’s telling the damn truth. Just keep your son in check. And while you’re at it, keep your hands off my nanny.” I walked away before he could respond.
I didn’t need to add that last part. Not really sure why the idea of him trying to pick up Elodie made me crazy. Did I have a thing for her? I knew she was attractive, but I couldn’t understand why this guy talking to her had irked me that badly.
Anyway, it didn’t matter how I felt about Elodie. Now that she’d become the best thing to happen to Hailey in a long time, she was most definitely off limits. I could never fuck her, because then I’d have to not see her again, and that wouldn’t work in this equation.
Hailey came running toward me. “Look! Elodie made me into a unicorn.”
She beamed, proudly displaying her new pink and purple face. A horn was painted in the middle of her forehead. There were sparkles around her eyes.
“Wow. You look...great.”
She grabbed me by the hand and pulled me toward Elodie’s station. “Come on. It’s your turn.”
“Oh no. I don’t want my face painted.”
“Yes, you do. And look, there’s no one else in line right now.”
Elodie smiled wide. “Well, hello, sir. What can I do for you?”
So many potential answers came to mind.
“Apparently, I’m getting my face painted.”
Hailey giggled, then whispered something in Elodie’s ear.
Elodie shook her head and laughed. “No. We can’t do that.”
“Yes! Yes, we can.”
I looked between them. “Should I be worried?”
“Sit,” Elodie said.
Hailey jumped up and down. “Do it!”
Elodie sighed.
What the hell is going on here?
“Uncle Hollis, can you give me some money? I’m gonna go get a slush while Elodie paints you.”
I reached into my pocket and handed her a ten.
“Bring me back one,” Elodie said. “Gonna cheat on my diet a little.”
“Okay.” Hailey skipped away.
When Elodie’s eyes landed on mine, I asked, “So what exactly are you doing to me?”
Multiple meanings there...
She cleaned her brush before opening a few bottles of paint. “Don’t worry. It’s all in good fun.”
She leaned in and started to paint my face with small strokes. I had to say, I didn’t exactly mind being this close to her. It was an innocent excuse to be near her, to breathe her in, without it seeming inappropriate.
I also couldn’t help but look down into her cleavage. Fuck me. She had amazing tits. She smelled amazing, too. I’d never been this close to her. She smelled like a mix of flowers and candy.
“What are you looking at?” she suddenly asked.
I pried my eyes upward and didn’t even try to deny it. Because it was all too clear that I’d been enjoying the view.
“Where do you expect me to look from this angle? I don’t have many choices. I just picked the best one.”
“I’m kidding, Hollis. I don’t mind if you look at me.”
She stopped painting for a moment and looked into my eyes. The sun brought out the highlights in her gorgeous hair. I felt myself starting to sweat, and it wasn’t even that hot out. Fucking hell, she was beautiful. Okay, so maybe I did have the hots for the nanny. I needed to keep that my dirty little secret.
When she resumed painting, I closed my eyes. I quite enjoyed her hand on my chin while she worked. It was soft and dainty, and I had the urge to run my tongue along it. I wouldn’t, of course.
“Can we talk about sex?” she asked.
What? My heart pounded. “Hmm?”
Did she fucking read my mind?
“Okay...so, Hailey said something to me earlier that made me wonder if it’s time to have the birds-and-bees talk with her.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief.
“I didn’t want to do that without consulting with you first.”
I cleared my throat. “Ah. Okay...well, what did she say?”
“She told me she thought the dad who was flirting with me wanted to screw me. So clearly she knows what sex is. I just wonder if maybe, given the fact that she’s approaching her teen years, someone needs to talk to her about birth control and stuff.”
Shit.
Fuck.
Shit.
She’s too young for that, isn’t she? No, it would be dangerous to assume that. Better safe than sorry.
“Okay...yeah, I think you’re right.”
She dabbed some more paint onto her brush. “Do you want me to do it? Have the talk with her...or would you prefer—”
“Oh, I would not prefer. No preferring going on here. I would really appreciate you handling that. I hope that’s not outside of the scope of the job.”
I’d give my left nut not to have to have that conversation with my niece.
“I don’t think we really have a scope, do we?”
“Well, cooking certainly isn’t a job requirement, but you do that anyway. I don’t want to take you for granted. You go above and beyond. I think talking to
her about sex takes the cake, though.”
“I don’t mind doing it. Is there anything you prefer I not discuss with her?”
“Use your judgment. I just want her to be safe when the time comes. As much as it makes me uncomfortable to even think about it, I don’t want to be naïve, either. I remember kids in my middle school having sex, and I’m sure things have only gotten worse. It would be very easy to just throw it under the rug. So I appreciate your help.”
She stopped painting my face for a moment. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Yeah...”
“Before Hailey, I assume you used to bring women back to your place. Now that she’s there, where do you...”
My mouth curved into a smile at her hesitation. “Where do I fuck?”
“Yeah.”
She seemed to blush. I loved it.
“Well, not in the apartment.”
She resumed painting. “Right. I was curious—how you logistically make it work.”
I wasn’t sure about the relevance of this question, aside from her just being curious.
“Well, there are ways around it,” I said.
“Like...”
“Like meeting someone at their place in the middle of the day or getting a sitter and going out at night. Having Hailey at home does limit my options, but…”
She finished my sentence. “But where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
Thinking about sex while she had her hands on me—while I could feel her breath on my face, while her tits were practically up against me—was definitely not good. I could feel myself getting hard. I really needed to think about something else.
Hailey returned, holding two slushes. Good. That should do it.
“Oh my God!” She laughed. “You did it!”
“What kind of shit are you two pulling?” I asked.
“Language, Hollis,” Elodie said.
I pulled out my phone to look at my face.
The red and black paint was shocking. And she’d drawn a little horn on each side of my forehead. They’d made me into the devil.
“So this is how you see me?” I asked.
“Remember, it’s all in good fun, Hollsy.” Elodie winked.
I wondered if she’d think it was all in good fun if I smacked her on the ass and left a handprint. Damn, I enjoyed that thought. Maybe I was the devil.
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