Park Avenue Player

by Ward, Penelope

  She frowned. “Do you trust me?”

  “Of course, I do.”

  “I mean, really trust me. Blindly. Enough that you can believe something I say to be true, even if it doesn’t make any sense to you?”

  I thought about it. “I think so.”

  She looked me in the eyes. “Good. Real love is out there, because I’ve experienced it. I don’t talk about my ex a lot because our breakup was difficult for me. But I’ve been loved by a man and loved him back in a way that was pure and true. So I can tell you, without any hesitation whatsoever, that real love exists.”

  “I believe you experienced that. But how can you be certain there’s someone out there like that for everyone?”

  She looked down at her hands for a minute before looking back up at me. “Faith. I have faith.”

  I wanted to believe what she said, if for no other reason than to put her mind at ease. But I also didn’t want to lie to her. So I offered what I could. “I promise you I’ll try. I promise I’ll fight for love if I experience it—that I won’t run the other way if things get tough. Can that be enough?”

  Bree smiled. “That’s all I can ask for. You’re so stubborn. I know if you commit to me that you’ll fight for something, you’ll get it. All I needed was that commitment. So it does put my mind at ease.”

  I smiled. “Okay, crazy lady. Whatever makes you happy.”

  Bree squeezed my hand. “I’m going to lie down. I expect you to go on out to the living room and get your ass good and drunk while I take my nap. Maybe tell off my asinine stepbrother as a way to vent some of your anger. I think you deserve it.”

  She really was amazing. I started to get up and then sat back down and pulled her close for a long, tight hug.

  “I love you, Bree.”

  “I love you, too, Elodie.”

  Chapter 34

  * * *

  Elodie

  I’d never been more drained than when I got home Sunday evening. The weekend at the lake house had sucked out all my energy, even though we did nothing but sit around for two days.

  What I needed was a nice, long, hot soak. I filled the bathtub and tossed in my favorite Lush bath bomb, called Sex. It was supposed to have some sort of powerful ylang ylang aphrodisiac, but I just liked the jasmine smell and how the soymilk in it left my skin feeling soft.

  I undressed and lifted one foot into the warm water, but as I attempted to shift my weight and fully get in, my doorbell rang.

  Jesus. You’ve got to be kidding me.

  I wasn’t expecting anyone, so I figured it was probably someone trying to sell me something I didn’t want, or worse, someone trying to preach to me about their damn religion. I hesitated with one foot in the water and considered ignoring it, but then I worried it might be Bree and grabbed my bathrobe off the hook on the back of the bathroom door.

  I pushed up onto my tippy toes to peek through the peephole and was surprised to find Hollis standing on my welcome mat. I hadn’t heard from him all weekend, and it looked like he was alone, though he should’ve had Hailey with him.

  I cinched the belt on my robe and opened the door. “Hollis? What are you doing here?”

  His eyes raked down my body and took in my exposed legs. My robe was pretty short.

  He cleared his throat. “Hey. Can I come in?”

  I looked over his shoulder to check inside the car. “Is Hailey with you?”

  He shook his head. “She called this morning and said the Bransons wanted to stay another night. So she won’t be home until tomorrow.”

  “Oh.” I stepped aside. “Sure. Come in. I was just about to get in the bath. Let me turn the water off.”

  Hollis nodded.

  Inside the bathroom, I twisted the faucet off and lifted the lever on the drain release. I took a look at my reflection in the full-length mirror and deliberated changing from the skimpy silk robe I had on into something more appropriate.

  But then I decided against it. Hollis might be here to let me down gently. The least I could do after being jerked around for so long was make him eat his heart out a little. I didn’t even bother to put on panties.

  He was staring out the window when I returned to the living room. He seemed lost in thought.

  “So, what’s going on? Did you come from the city? You must’ve hit a lot of traffic at this time?”

  He turned to face me. “I drove out this morning, actually.”

  My brows drew together. “Did you have a meeting or something?”

  He shoved his hands into his pockets and looked down as he shook his head. “I wasn’t sure what time you’d be home. I drove out right after Hailey called this morning.”

  “You were parked outside when I pulled up?”

  “No. I went into town to grab something to eat. You must’ve come home while I was gone.”

  “But it’s almost six o’clock. You sat outside all day?”

  He nodded.

  “Why didn’t you call?”

  “I didn’t want to interrupt your time with your friend. I didn’t know when you’d be leaving.”

  It was a little crazy to drive all this way to park in front of my house and wait, but his reason for not calling was also thoughtful and sweet. Hollis had so many rough edges, yet every once in a while he showed a soft side. And that soft—however rare—eclipsed all of the hard.

  I sat down on the couch. “Thank you. But you could have called or texted.”

  Hollis took a seat on the couch, a few feet away from me. “How was your weekend? How is your friend?”

  I sighed. “She wanted to talk about her final wishes and arrangements and stuff.”

  He nodded. “That must’ve been tough.”

  “It was. And she did it for us. She wanted to make sure we knew what she wanted, not for her sake, but so it relieved us of any difficult decisions we might have to make. In fact, the entire weekend was really to make sure we were going to be okay after…” I trailed off, unable to bring myself to say the words.

  Hollis scooted closer on the couch and took my hand. “I’m sorry.”

  I swallowed and nodded. “Anyway, I don’t think I can handle rehashing the weekend, so I’d prefer to change the subject. Why don’t we talk about what you came here for? What’s going on?”

  He moved in closer. “I came here for you.”

  Maybe it was a self-protective mechanism, but instinctively, I moved back. “For me?”

  “If you were anywhere else but with your friend who needed you this weekend, I would have driven to you—never mind driven, fucking walked if I had to.”

  He ran his hands through his hair, making a beautiful, tousled mess. He seemed uncharacteristically nervous. “I’ve counted every minute you’ve been gone. Holding this in has been difficult.”

  My heart rate sped up. “Holding what in?”

  “I wanted to say this before you told me about going to the lake with Bree. You’ll remember I came home from work that night wanting to talk. But then you told me you were going away, and I realized that given the situation, this needed to wait. You had to focus on her. But I can’t wait anymore, which is why I came up here.”

  I crossed my arms. “What is it?”

  “I’m done fucking things up, Elodie.” Hollis looked up at the ceiling and paused, as if to gather his thoughts. “I spent this whole week trying to find one legitimate reason, other than my own fear, as to why I can’t go all-in with you, and I couldn’t.”

  Despite his candor, my guard was all the way up tonight. Maybe it was the emotional toll of the weekend. Seeing Tobias was a reminder of my own poor judgment in the past and how easy it was to be hurt by someone you thought you knew.

  But more importantly, my sense that life was short was stronger than ever now. I had no tolerance for games or bullshit anymore.

  “So, you’re looking for reasons not to be with me?”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not hoping for a reason not to be with you. I was tryi
ng to…I guess…somehow ensure I don’t end up getting hurt. But I finally had an epiphany. I realized I can never guarantee that. I can never guarantee we won’t hurt each other. It’s not something you can rule out a hundred percent, because nothing is guaranteed in life. In the end, it comes down to whether I need you more than I care about the possibility of getting hurt. And that answer is yes. I need you. So fucking badly.”

  My heart began to crack open a little, despite my best efforts to keep it closed. He was telling me everything I wanted to hear, but I wasn’t going to fully open my heart to him until I was one hundred percent convinced he meant what he was saying.

  My experience with Hollis thus far had trained me to tread very carefully.

  “How do I know you’re not going to backtrack again? Seriously, Hollis, I can’t take it even one more time.”

  I thought back to my conversation at the lake with Bree. “I made Bree a promise this weekend. All she asked of me is that I fight for true love. Can you believe that? I would have given her anything she wanted. But out of all of the things she could have wished for, my finding true love, true happiness, matters to her most. And she understands that the biggest impediment to finding it…is myself.”

  Hollis nodded. “She sounds amazing, and wise.”

  “She is.” I sighed. “Anyway, I promised her I would try, that I would fight for love if I ever experienced it, that I wouldn’t run the other way if things got tough.”

  It hit me in that moment that what I needed from Hollis was exactly what Bree wanted from me. “I need you to make me that same promise—that you won’t run if things get difficult, that you will fight for us. If you can’t do that, I can’t be with you. I can’t handle the back and forth. You’re not the only one with abandonment issues. I feel like I’m always holding my breath for the other shoe to drop. And the fucked-up thing is, that feeling gets stronger when things are going well between us. Thus far you’ve proven my fears are warranted. I just…want to be able to exhale.”

  He looked truly pained. “I’m sorry I’ve let my issues ruin the best thing that’s happened to me in a very long time. I understand why you’re not able to trust what I’m saying right now. My word means nothing. I get that. It’s actions that count.”

  He pointed to his chest. “But if you could see inside of me right now, you would know there is no doubt left, no more hesitation. I’m ready to do this, Elodie. But proving that is going to have to happen day by day. And I’m up for the challenge. In fact, it starts now.”

  “What exactly are you starting?”

  He looked at me with an intensity I’d never witnessed in him before. “Being the man you deserve.”

  Chapter 35

  * * *

  Hollis

  I wasn’t leaving her tonight unless she insisted I go.

  “Why don’t you go have that bath you were trying to take before I got here?”

  “Are you leaving?”

  “No. Not going anywhere. I’ll be right here when you get out.”

  She pondered a moment. “Okay. I’ll try not to take too long. Help yourself to anything in the fridge.”

  After Elodie disappeared into the bathroom, I noticed she had a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Rolling up my sleeves, I turned on the water and began washing. When I’d finished, I grabbed a broom and swept. After that, I grabbed her Swiffer and mopped the floor. When that was done, I wiped down the counters. I took all my nervous energy out on the kitchen.

  Not to mention, it was about damn time I’d helped her with something. This woman spent every day taking care of Hailey—and me. I wanted to take care of her tonight, show her just how much I cared about her. And not just tonight, but every night.

  It must have been at least forty-five minutes before Elodie emerged from the bathroom. She wore a long T-shirt under her robe, and her legs were bare. Her damp hair cascaded down her shoulders.

  She looked around at the sparkling kitchen. “You cleaned?”

  I threw the towel I was holding over my shoulder. “Yeah.”

  Her skin reddened. She actually seemed a bit embarrassed.

  “I’m not normally such a slob. I got home from the city too late before we had to leave for the lake. That’s the only reason the dishes were—”

  “Whoa. Hang on, I wasn’t thinking that at all. I was just trying to help. In fact, the whole time you were in there, all I’ve been able to think about is that it’s about damn time I did something for you for a change.”

  “Well, thank you.”

  She smelled so damn good, like coconut and vanilla. It must have been her shampoo.

  I placed my hand on her cheek. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I feel better. That bath definitely helped me decompress. I did a lot of thinking in there, too.”

  “About?”

  “About this past weekend and about you.”

  There was something I had to know. “Did your ex try anything on you up there?”

  She blew out a breath. “He tried to reel me back in a bit, take advantage of my vulnerability. But it didn’t work. He told me the only reason he cheated on me was because he’s a sex addict. Can you believe that? I’m not buying his crock of shit, but it did get me thinking about you.”

  My stomach sank. “Please don’t tell me you think I would ever do that to you.”

  “No, actually. You’ve been with a lot of women, but you’re not a cheater, and you were always open about your intentions. I truly believe you’re a different kind of person than he is. You’re a better person—more afraid to be hurt than capable of hurting someone else. You’re more worthy of a second chance than he could ever be.” She sighed. “I can’t say no to you, Hollis. Because your reasons for being cautious are actually honorable.” She paused. “We need to try—for real this time.”

  I responded by taking her hand and placing it on my heart. “Feel that. I’ve been worried you’d already written me off for being an asshole. I promise you won’t be sorry.”

  My happiness was quickly curtailed when she said, “I don’t think you should spend the night, though.”

  I couldn’t say it didn’t disappoint me. But I had to respect her wishes.

  “Okay, baby. That’s alright.”

  “I think I’m just going to go to sleep, if you don’t mind.”

  “It’s only seven thirty. You’re ready to turn in already?”

  “Yeah. It’s been a really long weekend. But will you tuck me into bed?”

  Well, that sounded painful—tucking her into bed before taking to the road for my long, hard journey back to the city. At the very least, I wanted to lie next to her, breathe in some of that delicious scent as I fell asleep.

  But it didn’t look like that would be happening. I had to respect her decision and not push.

  “Yeah, of course,” I said.

  I followed Elodie into her bedroom. It had a calming atmosphere with soft lighting and a feminine aura. Basically, it was heaven, and I didn’t want to leave.

  I thought I’d known what torture was before—when she told me I would have to go home tonight. But apparently I knew nothing about torture.

  She took off her robe, followed by her shirt, letting her creamy breasts spring free. I took in her perfect, light pink nipples, shocked. I hadn’t expected her to undress in front of me. But then again, maybe it shouldn’t have been surprising.

  Because this was my bold Elodie we were talking about, the same woman who’d taunted me for days with her panties. She was most definitely an expert in cock teasing. And that was exactly what she was doing to me right now.

  Speaking of panties, she slipped out of them. It was official. She was trying to kill me. She then slipped under the covers before I could examine every inch of her like I wanted to.

  I swallowed. “You always sleep naked?”

  “Yes.”

  My heart was palpitating. “I see.”

  She held the sheet over her breasts. “Thank you for understand
ing that I need to be alone tonight. Come here and tuck me in?”

  I walked over to her slowly. Kissing her on the lips would only make things worse; I wouldn’t want to stop. So I opted for a gentle kiss on her forehead.

  But before I could blink, she’d grabbed my face and planted a real kiss on me, a deep, sensuous one with her tongue down my throat. Tasting her and knowing she was naked under that sheet drove me mad.

  My dick practically weighed me down as I ripped myself away and forced my feet toward the door. The strain of my cock against my jeans was embarrassingly obvious. I wondered if I’d have to park at a rest stop and jerk off on the way home.

  The only thing more difficult than leaving at this point would be staying.

  “Well, goodnight,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Just as I was about to turn around and go, she hopped up. “Oh my God, Hollis. Come here. I’m just messing with you.”

  Huh? “What?”

  “I don’t want you to go home. I want you with me. I was egging you on. I have no intention of letting you walk out of here tonight.”

  This was a game?

  Well, shit. I’d never been more grateful for a game in my entire life. I couldn’t even be mad at her.

  It felt like I expelled all the breath in my body when I said, “Thank fuck.”

  “I was teasing you. I thought you liked it when I did that.” She winked.

  “You’re gonna pay for that,” I warned.

  She tossed the sheet aside, exposing her fully naked body. “By all means, make me pay, Hollsy.” She flashed a mischievous grin.

  Her beautiful blond hair splayed across her chest, barely covering her nipples. Her taut stomach. Her bare pussy.

  Her bare pussy.

  Fuck. Yes.

  She must have waxed the landing strip she’d had before. God, she was so perfect.

  I ripped my shirt off and walked to the bed. Kneeling on the mattress, I watched as Elodie reached for my belt and undid it. She gazed down at my crotch like she wanted to devour me. I undid my pants and tossed them aside, leaving only my dark gray boxer briefs between us.