by Nicole Falls
“What’s the matter, baby?” Frankie asked, looking completely confused by my reaction in this moment.
Of course, he was confused because I was confused. But when I laid awake at three this morning thinking about what was happening between us I couldn’t help but think if this was just a matter of attraction by proximity, a fleeting emotional fling that would disappear as soon as he got the green card and ruining our bond forever. I turned every decision that we’d both made to get us to this point over and over in my head, trying to make some sense of it and unable to do so.
“Is…is this our new normal? We’re just gonna screw like rabbits? Make the best of it until you’re a citizen, then peace out? I mean…I just, I want to go into this with some clarity. If you need me to be that girl…the one who has sex without emotion, I can be that girl. I just…need a little adjustment period you know? I mean…this was a stark shift for us,” I blurted out.
Frankie stared at me, mouth agape, for what felt like an eternity, but was maybe a full thirty seconds before emitting a low, throaty chuckle. Which immediately flared anger in me because I didn’t see anything funny here.
“Care to clue me in on the joke?” I asked, annoyed.
“You,” Frankie said before his chuckles escalated into full blown laughter, “You’re something else, Valora. What is it you need me to do? Hire a skywriter and a plane? Were you not there in the courtroom as I confessed to finding my passion in you, my love? That was not merely poetic language to sway the judge’s decision. That was me speaking from the heart—pure and simple.”
“I…”
Moving to pull me back into his arms, Frankie continued, “And this? Right now? This is nothing but your fear manifesting. Damn shame, I managed to fall in love with a woman’s whose name means bravery, but she’s the biggest coward in this room right now.”
I bristled at being called a coward. No matter how close it might have been to the truth.
“Oh, where is all of that famous Holliday girl mouth now? Cat got your tongue?” Frankie teased, “You think you’re the only one with something to lose here? You think you’re out here having to be brave on your own? Trusting your heart to someone else is never an easy task, cosita, but when it’s the right one…it’s amazing how simplistic it becomes. So, what do you say? Are you willing to take a chance with me? Follow our brave hearts into the unknown?”
Choked up with emotion, I didn’t trust myself to speak without falling into a hot, sobbing mess; I simply nodded and threw myself into Frankie’s arms tighter. If someone would have told me that within the span of a couple months I’d go from nowhere near looking for love to swimming in it so deeply that I needed a life raft, I would have called them every damn fool in the book. But here I was…no, here we were…two brave hearts, floating along in an ocean of love.
Back to the present…
February 10, 2018
“I know you are not crying,” Ginger giggled as Juju tried covertly wiping the moisture from the corners of her eyelids.
“Oh, shut up, Gi. That was a beautiful story, Lolo,” Juniper said, reaching over to give my hand a squeeze.
“It really was Lo, but…er…ah…” Noelle stalled.
“And there’s the NoNo we know and love, bringing it back around to herself,” Ginger snapped.
“Gi, be easy. Damn, you’ve been more combative as usual. You ok, sis? You need to talk it out. You know we’re here for your ornery ass too,” I said before turning my attention back to Noelle, “In case you didn’t get it, the moral of the story my good sis is to follow your heart. If it’s leading you to love then you gotta follow. Fight through the fear and you too can end up here.”
“Don’t get too cute. Your ass almost wasn’t here. It took Frankie dicking you down for you to finally show any emotion, robot. What was up with that? How could you not see that man loved you the whole time? Hell, I saw it at your lil sham wedding or whateva.”
Ginger again with the probing questions. I ignored the slight edge in her tone once again as she addressed me because Noelle had her entire attention directed toward me as if she too was seeking the answer to this question.
“Oh, that’s simple. I was just dumb.”
Everyone burst into laughter at that utterance.
“But for real, y’all. I was daft and dim. And taking for granted that all of the many ways Frankie had been trying to show me over the years that he cared for me in a much deeper way than I was even able to recognize then. I’m not saying that a dose of dope dick opened my eyes or unlocked some magical part of my brain, but it definitely did do something to change the way I saw…the way Frankie saw me, if that makes sense? It’s like my subconscious recognized his love for me, but my brain refused to process it as more than lust because anything else would have been crazy. Except it wasn’t crazy at all.”
“Ok, but like…why was Frankie such a punk? What if all this immigration mess had never come up and the fake marriage never happened? He was going to continue pushing his feelings aside and staying in the friend zone?” Juju asked.
“You know I asked him that same question on our one year anniversary and you know what he said?”
“What?” all three of my sisters asked in unison.
“That the timeline of destiny may have been shifted, but would have never been permanently altered…we would have ended up together at some moment in time because we were fated.”
That response drew a chorus of “awwwwwws” and heavy sighs from my sisters.
I continued, “and he also said that he was comin’ for my ass within six months of my twenty-fifth birthday, guns blazing. So, our little nudge from the universe just pushed that timetable up some. So to answer your question, NoNo…no you and Jay aren’t moving too fast. The universe proceeds in its own timing and you’d do well to give in to its flow instead of bucking against it.”
Fin.
Special thanks to:
bbj, jilly, & té for all of your feedback.
the manse for moments of levity.
shake for the wreck.
the nook for your undying support and endless giggles.
Alexandra Warren for writing The Games We Play and putting a battery in my back to write some fire.
all of the readers for being so dope that you make me wanna do this fiveever.
xo,
nic
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Other Titles By Nicole Falls
Accidentally in Love Series:
Adore You
Smitten
Then Came You
Holliday Sisters Series:
Noelle the First
Standalone Titles
Sparks Fly
About the Author
Nicole Falls is a contemporary Black romance writer who firmly believes in the power of Black love stories being told. She’s also a ceramic mug and lapel pin enthusiast who cannot function without her wireless Beats constantly blaring music. When Nicole isn’t writing, she spends her time singing off key to her Tidal and/or Spotify playlists while drinking coffee and/or cocktails! She currently resides in the suburbs of Chicago.
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