by Maggie Wells
“You don’t want to know,” Kyle said.
He texted Lucifer: Dwayne is here with me. I’ll call you tomorrow.
Lucifer replied: Not too early. Don’t want to wake Jared
“Okay,” Aleecia’s mother said. “What are the sleeping arrangements?”
“I’ll sleep out back with Dwayne,” Kyle said to Aleecia. “Okay if you sleep in your room?”
“Sure, but what are we going to do tomorrow?” Aleecia asked. “We both need to work.”
“I’ll drop him off at my aunt’s house on my way to work,” Kyle said. He took Aleecia’s face in his hands. “I got this, baby. You don’t need to worry. I’ve been managing things at my house for years.”
When Kyle had left, Aleecia’s mom said, “I have to say, I am impressed with this boy.”
“Yeah,” Aleecia said. “If only he could get to work on the remodel and build that damn bathroom!”
That night, in bed, Aleecia logged onto Facebook.
Aleecia: My baby daddy brought his little brother to come live with us
Isabella: Who is us?
Aleecia: OMG! I forgot to tell you that Kyle moved in with me. We’re living in my mom’s garage.
Jasmine: You’re living in the garage?
Aleecia: Kyle is a carpenter. He’s putting in walls and everything. We live in Florida, so it’s not like it ever gets that cold
Luciana: So what’s with the little brother? How old?
Aleecia: Dwayne is 8. Kyle’s mom’s boyfriend threw the boys out of the house. Can you believe that?
Shawna: I believe it. My mom wants to throw me out!
Candace: Jesus. And I thought my mom was a bitch!
NINETEEN
Kyle
* * *
AT NOON THE NEXT DAY, KYLE GOT A TEXT FROM Lucifer: I piled all of Dwayne’s shit out front. Come pick it up.
Kyle: WTF? His clothes, his puzzles, his G.I Joes, his PlayStation? You left it all out on the lawn? Somebody might steal it
Lucifer: Well, you’d better rush over here
Kyle: I’ll be there at 4.
Fucking cunt, he thought. What is wrong with her?
Kyle’s construction crew clocked out at three-thirty and after dropping Steve at home, Kyle drove like a madman, desperately trying to arrive home in time to salvage Dwayne’s clothes and toys. He was ecstatic when he pulled into the driveway to see that she had left everything on the porch. He gathered the piles into trash bags and made several trips to the car. When he had finished, he realized that Dwayne’s PlayStation was missing.
Kyle pressed his face to the screen door and yelled, “Yo! Anybody home?”
His mother called out, “What do you want?”
“Where is the PlayStation?” Kyle shouted.
His mother walked into the living room and stood several feet inside the door. “Jared wants to keep that,” she said. “Crystal may want it someday.”
Kyle was furious. “It doesn’t belong to Jared,” he said. “I bought it for Dwayne for Christmas! It belongs to Dwayne. Give it to me.”
“You’re going to have to come in and get it,” his mother said. “Jared told me that I can’t give it to you. And he said you need to pay to get the window fixed.”
“And what about nailing the windows and doors shut? Who’s going to pay to repair all that damage?” Kyle fumed. He opened the screen door and pushed past his mother to grab the PlayStation.
“Don’t you dare hit me!” she cried.
“What are you talking about? I’ve never hit you! You’re confusing me with Jared. Now get outta my way, bitch!” Kyle yanked the cables from the TV and shoved his way back out the door, dragging the controllers behind him.
“I’ll call the cops,” his mother yelled.
“Yeah, you do that!” Kyle yelled. “The cops would love to hear how you locked your son in his room without food, water, or a toilet for two days.”
Kyle peeled out of the driveway; the tires left black rubber tread marks on the road. The veins on his neck and forehead were bulging in anger. He fought to hold back his tears. A few blocks from the house, he pulled over to compose himself. He didn’t want Aleecia to see him like this.
Why is my life so fucked? he wondered. Why did that bitch ever give birth to Dwayne and me? And then he caught himself. Why am I pressuring Aleecia to have a baby at fifteen? She was still just a kid. No matter how hard she might try, she wasn’t prepared to be a mother—she had no clue what lay ahead of her—the cost, the responsibility, the complete loss of freedom; she might never get a chance to go to college and certainly would never make it to Nashville. I need to tell her that it’s okay if she decides to abort the baby. This is all wrong and it’s all my fault.
He pulled back onto the highway and started driving slowly toward Aleecia’s house. Then he thought, What about me? She is the best thing that ever happened to me. If she aborted the baby, what would she need me for? I’ll be out on the street. In six weeks, I’ll be leaving for Tallahassee; better wait until then to tell her any of this. There would still be time if she decides she wanted to abort after all. Besides, her mother knows all of this—it’ not my place to tell her that she is too young.
Kyle was about to turn left onto Aleecia’s street when he suddenly remembered.
“Fuck!” Kyle said aloud. “I forgot to pick up Dwayne.”
He made a U-turn and drove back across town to his Aunt Georgia’s house.
Dwayne was waiting on the front porch and raced to the car to greet Kyle.
“You came back!” Dwayne crowed.
“Well, of course I came back,” Kyle said. “What did you think, dummy?”
“Aunt Georgia said if you knew what was good for you, you’d run off to Tallahassee and leave all of us behind,” Dwayne said.
Kyle was shocked. Georgia had voiced his very own thoughts? What if he did leave everyone behind? Was that even a possibility? Would Dwayne forgive him if he pursued his football career and promised to come back for him when he had made enough money?
“Not only did I come back,” Kyle said. “But look what I brought you!” Kyle gestured toward the back seat.
“My PlayStation!” Dwayne screamed.
“Yeah, and all your other toys and your clothes, too,” Kyle said.
Dwayne flung himself into Kyle’s arms. “Thank you!”
“Let’s go home, Dwayne,” Kyle said softly.
Kyle tooted the horn, excited to see Aleecia standing in the doorway when he pulled into the driveway. This is it, he thought, this is what home feels like.
Dwayne jumped out of the car and ran to the house.
“Aleecia, look!” he cried. “Kyle brought all my stuff.”
Kyle watched in awe as Aleecia smiled and embraced Dwayne. She’s going to be an amazing mom, he thought.
“First things first,” Kyle said as he reached the porch. “Got to set up the PlayStation. Will your mom mind?’
“I think my mom actually likes having all us around,” Aleecia said. “She’s always wanted a big family like she grew up in.”
Kyle wired the device to the TV and Dwayne settled on the couch with his games. Aleecia retreated to the kitchen to make dinner while Kyle carted all of the stuff from the car out to the garage.
Kyle surveyed the garage and thought, we really need to tackle this mess. He made a mental note to finish dumping all of Aleecia’s accumulated junk first thing Saturday morning. Priority two was to install the outdoor shower and then install flooring and drywall and build a closet. The place needed so much work that he wondered if they could finish the project before he left for Tallahassee.
As the summer wore on, Kyle noticed that Aleecia was slowing down and tiring easily. He often heard her retching in the bathroom while he and Dwayne were eating breakfast. He was worried about her riding her bike home from work every day in the afternoon heat. Kyle dreaded leaving for Tallahassee, but the daily texts kept coming from the freshman football coach with updates on the training schedule. It seem
ed as though Aleecia was in complete denial about his impending departure. He knew he needed to broach the subject with her but he wasn’t sure how or when to do it.
TWENTY
Aleecia
* * *
THE SUMMER PASSED QUICKLY. ALEECIA’S MORNINGS were a buzz of activity: wake up at the crack of dawn, reel from morning sickness, make breakfast and pack lunches for Kyle and Dwayne and kiss them both goodbye before collapsing on her bed for another half-hour of sleep. She vaguely remembered her mom leaving for work each morning before her alarm went off at six.
The evenings were altogether different. Aleecia got home first and had time for a quick shower after the sweaty bike ride from Big Lots. Kyle and Dwayne arrived around five and burst through the screen door, boisterous and hungry. Aleecia fed Dwayne and settled him in the garage with his PlayStation while Kyle showered. Aleecia set the table with candles from Pier 1, then dimmed the lights and turned the country station on low to create an atmosphere of serenity for when her mom arrived. Aleecia and Kyle sat with her mom over a leisurely dinner, after which Kyle and Aleecia did the dishes while her mom relaxed in the living room.
“I could get used to this!” her mom called from the living room.
“We want you to,” Aleecia called back. She chuckled as she leaned her hip into Kyle, who stood drying dishes beside her.
“Baby, we need to talk,” Kyle said.
Aleecia hesitated.
“Now what?” she asked. “Baby Crystal is moving in?”
Kyle stopped drying dishes and turned to face Aleecia. He flung the dishtowel over his shoulder.
“You know I’m leaving, right?” Kyle said. “Preseason practice starts in two weeks. I’m getting the sense that you’re in denial about this—telling your mom to get used to the way things are.”
“I’m not in denial—I guess I was hoping you’d choose us over football,” Aleecia said.
“Baby, it’s not football I’m choosing; it’s our future,” Kyle said. “I need to go to Tallahassee to get drafted into the NFL. I need to do this to take care of you and our baby.”
Aleecia was miserable. What he was describing was a far-off dream, years in the future. What about tomorrow and the next day? How am I supposed to do this alone?
“Talk to your mama,” Kyle said, reading her thoughts. “This is our best shot. She agrees.”
“What do you mean she agrees? You talked to my mom?” Aleecia asked. “Without discussing it with me? What am I, a child?”
Aleecia was distraught. She couldn’t tell whether this was a real feeling or just a hormonal response.
“I need to lie down,” she said and stormed out of the kitchen.
Aleecia locked herself in her room and cried herself to sleep.
In the morning, everyone was gone and Aleecia was bereft. So this is what it will feel like—to be all alone.
Aleecia felt listless all day at work. The lines of customers, the beeps and boops of the scanner, the days and weeks and months stretched out in front of her, no sign of joy in sight.
Her mood was gray as she pedaled home that night. She moved slowly through her routine of showering and prepping dinner. Dwayne’s loud energy only served to annoy her and she felt like there was a gray cloud of fog between her and the others at dinner that night.
“Are you okay?” Kyle and her mother exchanged worried looks.
“I’m tired,” Aleecia said. “I need to lie down.” She padded to her room and closed the door.
Kyle started to clear the table.
“Aleecia, honey,” her mother said, tapping on the door.
“It’s open,” Aleecia said.
Aleecia’s mother entered and sat on the bed. “What is it, baby?”
“He’s leaving, Mama,” Aleecia said.
“I know,” her mother said. “It’s for the best. You kids need to both go to college. This is his shot.”
Aleecia was quiet.
Her mother rubbed her back and hummed in a low voice. Aleecia recognized a lullaby from her childhood.
“Mama,” Aleecia said. “I don’t want to do this alone.”
“Do what?” her mother said.
“I think I want to get abortion,” Aleecia said.
A long silence.
“Yeah, Kyle won’t fight you on that,” her mother said.
“You talked to him?” Aleecia was indignant. Everyone else had a plan for their lives, and they were all talking about her behind her back.
“Why would he say that?” Aleecia demanded. “Is he planning to walk away?”
“No, baby,” her mother said. “Just all this mess with Dwayne and his mom and all. Kyle wants a future for you, and doesn’t want this baby to be the thing standing in your way.”
“I think I need to talk to Kyle,” Aleecia said.
“Yes, you do,” her mother said. “And baby, you know whatever you decide I’m here for you. You will never be alone.”
Aleecia marched out to the garage. She pounded on the door and immediately regretted it. Kyle opened the door, wild-eyed.
“Dwayne is sleeping,” he whispered.
“Where can we talk?” Aleecia asked.
“I don’t know,” Kyle said. “Take a drive? Maybe to the beach?”
“Okay,” Aleecia said.
They drove in silence for a mile or so.
“Paint me a picture,” Aleecia said. “What do the next five years look like?”
“I can’t promise anything,” Kyle said.
“Oh, that’s just great.” Aleecia started to cry.
“I can’t promise but here’s what I want for us,” Kyle said. “I’ll find a place in Tallahassee for me and Dwayne. We have cousins there. Let’s just say they agree to watch Dwayne and get him to school every day. I’ll work my ass off to make starter and get drafted. I’ll text you every day and I’ll come back every chance I get. It’s like a six-hour drive.”
“You told Mama that I should have an abortion?” Aleecia asked.
“I never said that,” Kyle said.
“But that’s what you think?” Aleecia said.
“Aleecia, this should never have happened to you,” Kyle said. “I love you so much; I think the world of you and I don’t want anything I did to stand between you and your dreams.”
“This is our baby,” Aleecia said.
“Yes, and I love you and it . . . him, her . . . ” Kyle said. “But my mom was sixteen, your mom was what, seventeen? What if we didn’t do that? What if we were in our twenties? What if I was playing for the NFL and you had a recording contract? What if we had waited?”
“Well, we didn’t wait,” Aleecia said. “And here we are.” She was sobbing.
Kyle pulled over and gathered Aleecia in his arms. “Let’s just take it one day at a time. I’ll be back at Christmas. Will you be okay? The baby isn’t due until March. The season will be over by then.”
Aleecia couldn’t feel anything anymore.
TWENTY-ONE
Kyle
* * *
ALEECIA MADE DINNER FOR THE FOUR OF THEM EVERY night. She always had supper ready for Dwayne as soon as he ran in, famished. Then she’d prepare a nice dinner for Kyle and her mother. She didn’t seem to have much of an appetite but she seemed to savor the relaxed dinner conversation. And he knew that Aleecia’s mother really appreciated being waited on every night.
One evening as they were washing the dishes, Aleecia’s mom said something like, “I could get used to this.”
Aleecia’s reply shocked Kyle. “We want you to.”
I need to say something! “You know I’m leaving in two weeks?” Kyle said.
“I guess I was hoping you’d choose me over football,” Aleecia said.
How could she think that was an option? Football was their ticket out of poverty. He couldn’t support Aleecia and the baby and Dwayne on a carpenter’s paycheck. And we can’t live in the garage forever. At times like this, he was reminded of how young she was.
“I m
ay not make it to the NFL, but I’ve got to give it a shot, right? Talk to your mom,” Kyle said. “She’ll explain it to you.”
Aleecia was livid. She stormed out of the kitchen and locked herself in her room.
Kyle exchanged looks with Aleecia’s mom.
“Let her sleep,“ she said. “She’ll see things differently in the morning.”
But the next night when Kyle arrived home, Aleecia seemed worse, withdrawn and irritable; she was short with Dwayne. He had never seen her like this.
“Are you okay?” her mother asked.
“I’m tired,” Aleecia said. “I need to lie down.” She locked herself in her room again.
Kyle cleared the table and washed the dishes. Then he went out to the garage where Dwayne was playing video games.
“Time for bed,” Kyle said.
“Noooo,” Dwayne protested.
“C’mon, we gotta get up at four a.m.” Kyle said.
“Why do we always have to wake up so early?” Dwayne whined.
“You know I got to work,” Kyle said. “Go use the toilet and brush your teeth.”
Kyle fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. The next thing he knew, someone was pounding on the door. Kyle was surprised to see Aleecia standing there, her faced streaked with tears.
“Are you crazy?” Kyle asked. “You’ll wake Dwayne!”
“I’m sorry,” Aleecia said. “But I need to talk to you—right now!”
“Let’s talk in the car,” Kyle said. “We don’t need to wake up the whole neighborhood.”
They drove in silence for a mile or so.
“Tell me the truth,” Aleecia said. “Are you coming back from Tallahassee?”
“I can’t promise anything,” Kyle said.
“Oh, that’s just great.” Aleecia started to cry again.
“Look here’s my plan,” Kyle said. “I’m taking Dwayne with me to Tallahassee. We have cousins there. They said they’d watch him for me so I can focus on making starter and getting drafted by the NFL. We’ll text every day.”