I hadn’t seen this coming. I had no idea Marcus was connected to anything like this, let alone was watching over James. I had however, suspected that my uncle was part of the movement against the Lappell. Actually, wished is a better term than suspected. Some of his actions and decisions never truly fit what was expected from a president. I had always wanted to ask him why he was different. He would take mystery trips overseas. Left recruitment and initiation rituals up to my Dad and Byron. He wasn’t actively helping the Lappell. He didn’t fit the mold of Lappell presidency, but I just chalked it up to his artistic personality. Like James. The Lappell couldn’t possibly put out everyone’s light. Some people just can’t be trained. And when I came to him to beg to be let out of my betrothal, he agreed. Just like that. With little to no concern of the waves it would cause. He wasn’t scared what anyone, including Byron or what my Dad would think. Liam just told me it was taken care of, and that was that. This shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me, but I still felt betrayed he hadn’t told me sooner about this. He hadn’t trusted me to let me in. Perhaps he had a reason for keeping me separated. Membership to that cause was extremely dangerous after all, especially if you are a turned Lappell member. And then there was Marcus and his family. How did they all fit into this? How were they connected and why? But the most important element in all of this was James. Did the cause know who he was?
“James’ initiation...” I started to say.
“Is being stopped by one of our members,” Marcus finished for me. “Don’t worry. It’s being taken care of. He’ll be fine. He won’t become part of them.”
“How can you say that considering who he is? There’s no way they’ll just let him go.”
“What are you talking about? ‘Considering who he is.’ James is just a guy who got mixed up with the wrong crowd is all. I get that it’s because of you. But it doesn’t make this complicated Anais. We’re just stopping him from making a mistake. His parents will get here soon. And they’ll set him straight about his actions.”
“So you don’t know then, do you?”
“Know what?”
Marcus may have been part of the uprising against the Lappell, but even he wasn’t in a position to be given all the details about James. It was no wonder too. That kind of information would be under lock and key. It shouldn’t be known. And I should keep it to myself. But I couldn’t carry it alone any longer. Marcus needed to know the truth. As well as James. And I needed to say it out loud. It wasn’t real until I could say it. I needed to hear it for myself and my own understanding.
“You think they’ve told you everything about James? Didn’t you wonder why there was so much focus on him since he arrived? Why Byron couldn’t hurt him. Why they threw a limited edition Viper at him. Why they made him take a flashback for initiation. These aren’t normal Lappell rituals Marcus. These are rules for elite initiation. There was something different about him from the beginning.”
Marcus looked deep in thought, trying to come up with his own answers, but when nothing seemed to gel he turned to me. “So what are you saying? You think he’s not just some average Joe we are trying to keep out of the Lappell?”
“No — I don’t. And I don’t think...I know he’s a lot more. James Riley isn’t even his real name.”
Marcus stopped the car suddenly. He looked surprised I would say such a thing. He lifted his sunglasses from his eyes so he could look at me seriously. “So who do you think James is exactly Anais?”
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my legacy coin. I had kept it on me since I had seen the same one in James’s room. I was going to use it to prove to him that there was something he didn’t know about himself. I needed something to go along with my theory that his life was a huge lie. That the coin he had was given to him on purpose. It represented his fate. His future. They’d been watching and waiting for James to appear in society. I mean, how could someone with his talent stay so hidden? It was just a matter of time until the Lappell tracked him down.
“Why are you showing me your legacy coin?”
Marcus knew about the coins. He must have also been taught about the rituals and more importantly, the history of the Lappell. Would make sense given the group is made up of primarily of Lappell members working against them from the inside. You need to know your enemy in order to form the best plan of attack.
“Because Marcus...James has one too. He showed it to me. It’s in his workroom. He calls it his lucky coin if you can believe it. He has no idea what it is. What it means. Why he was given it. I was going to show him mine so I could help reveal to him the truth about his past.”
Marcus looked at the coin and then back to me, trying to connect dots in his head but coming up with nothing. Of course he would come up with no answers. Unless you knew what I did, you wouldn’t assume such a crazy notion. There would be no reason to suspect anything about James. There was nothing on paper that connected him to the Lappell.
Marcus shook his head. Confusion and worry blatantly evident in his expression. Even the look of shock that such a discovery had slipped right by him under his nose.
“Wait...No...No...You’re wrong. You must be mistaken. I would have been told if James was a...” Marcus trailed off. His mind thinking and deciphering his orders. I imagined certain things were probably falling into place now for him too. “Fuck,” he breathed. “Fuck!” He shook his head, knowing he was in the dark about so much more than just helping to stop his initiation. “Fucking hell, those liars!”
“There’s more Marcus. At initiation the other night, while he was unconscious, he told a horrifying story about something that happened to him when he was a child. Something terrible that he did against the Lappell. And during the story, he screamed out two very important names that are only known in our circles. He revealed the real names of his parents.”
“Real names?” This was as much as a surprise to Marcus as it was to me.
“Yes, and if the legend’s true, if the stories I’ve been told are right...then...”
“Then what? Who is he Anais? Who is my best friend?” Marcus raised his voice. Needing. Wanting the truth too.
“Then he’s the son of Joshua Hollows.”
There was no sound between the two of us as we sat in the car in stunned silence. I think we were even both holding our breath at the discovery. Marcus must have known the story too. It was the reason the cause began in the first place. The uprising against the Lappell. He was also probably realizing that his parents had been lying to him his whole life about certain things and about who and what they knew.
I squeezed the coin tight in my hand as I thought about my James. Real name — James Joshua Hollows. He was so different to anyone I had ever met before. He was smart, honorable and kind. He had come to my rescue when no one else would. He felt guilt when he was violent, and would sacrifice his own safety to keep the peace. He loved, so hard and so forcefully, and was willing to give up his normal life for the sake of me. He was the best kind of person. Funny. Passionate. And I fell hard for him. From the moment our eyes met, I could feel he was different. I wanted him to love me since that night he saved me. I selfishly went to him after I broke my betrothal, knowing I was putting him in harm’s way. James deserved happiness and the truth about his past, his parents and what he had done. And I had brought him into a world that not only was about to take his freedom, but was now uncovering a life he should have never known about. It was all my fault. I should have stayed away. I should have let him go. But I wasn’t strong enough to deny myself the one thing on earth that could make me happy. Give me hope. His love. And as much as it was the wrong decision, I just couldn’t let it go. But I may not have a choice now. So many things were about to destroy James from the inside. The truth about his flashback. What he did. His parents. His legacy. Who his real father is.
That light I loved so dearly, was about to be put out. I could only hope I could be enough light for him to help him through this. I had to keep our love gro
wing inside my heart.
{25}
Present
JAMES
The sound of the gun was still echoing in my ears. I couldn’t take it anymore. I fired my own gun into the air to get them to back off from me and the blond woman. The moment it went off in my hands, it happened. Flashes...memories...blood...screaming...a man’s body on the floor. Norah...Clint. My parents’ real names. How deep had I buried this memory? I dropped the gun in my hands to the ground. I couldn’t have it there. Not where it had been already...not when such an object had already caused me to take a life. The gates had opened. The gun was the trigger. The memory which was now vividly on play in my thoughts, made my hand violently shake.
That’s where the tremors came from. That night. My actions. My murderous fingers. My parents who were people I didn’t even know. How many times had they slipped and called each other their real names? The names ‘Norah’ and ‘Clint’ ticking in my head. One...two...five times...maybe more. I had heard them numerous times in my youth. Behind closed doors. Hushed whispers. The occasional argument they thought was out of earshot. And then the other bomb. Explosive. Momentous. Absolutely shattering. The name Hollows. I had heard it before. I had heard in those whispers...those arguments...those tears when my mother thought she was crying alone and saying his name. I remembered everything now. What I did that night for my mother and step-dad. The running from country to country. The details given to me about my real Dad who they called Joshua Riley. Just enough information for me to be satisfied but not too much that I would ask more questions.
How did I miss all this? How did I block it out the way I did?
“James! Are you alright? Why did you drop the gun?” The blond woman grabbed at my back, but I stood, not able to move because my mind was on warp speed playing catch-up. Air goes in. Air goes out. Blood pumps to the heart to give you life. But what if you don’t have a heart anymore?
“James,” she said urgently again.
Byron’s voice emerged from the shadows. “He’s remembered.”
He had always known this moment would come. When it all came rushing back. But he was betting it would be after I completed initiation. He probably planned to tell me himself. Savor the experience. Have a front row ticket to my own soul’s demolition.
“Remembered what?” The blond was getting more frantic as the minutes went by, her head going back and forth from me to Byron. “Fuck! What did you give him?”
Her nails dug through my shirt and into my skin. If it was painful, I didn’t know. I felt numb.
Another shot was fired. This time it was the blond woman who fired into the ceiling, making sure no one would get close. She quickly ran in front of me, picking up the gun I had dropped to the floor and pushing it into her jeans. She grabbed my wrist and dragged me from the room and from the world I knew that I’d spent years running from with my parents. Anais must have pieced it together too. That’s why they kept her from me. She was trying to save me from the biggest mistake of my life.
I don’t know what happened next.
Was I running? Yes.
Was I being pushed into a van? Yes.
Did I know who I was and what I was capable of? No.
The world was spinning. It’s not every day you find out that everything you thought you believed in is a lie. That the Lappell is part of my pain...my history...my father. And my parents. They were part of it too. And my hands...they had known violence and had kept it secret. Them, and my mother and step-dad. All working together. All keeping me from something I was never supposed to feel or know. I had so many questions to go with all these answers. The only way I could find a way out of this pit of despair was to get the truth. Like it was the only mission I had left. My quest. My pursuit. My hunt. My crusade. To get facts, not fiction. To find out if I was still me...somewhere on the inside. Not a just a hidden secret who had murdered a man when I was six years old.
“Who are you? And tell me the truth. No more lies.” A different kind of voice was heard from me. A voice that was beyond anger, and rage, and being overwhelmed by deception. A voice that was close to losing control, but quietly needing to get answers. The only voice I had left.
“I’m Delia Weston. I’m your aunty.”
“Aunty?”
“Your step-dad’s sister.”
“My step-dad doesn’t have a sister.”
Delia gave me a ‘why-would-I-lie-to-you-right-now?’ look.
My step-dad does have a sister. That explains why she looks so much like Margot. My sister had inherited this older woman’s beauty.
Then the next blow. She had said her last name was Weston. Did that mean my step-dad was a Weston too?
“What’s my step-dad’s real name?”
The blond sighed. I don’t think she wanted to do this here...now...with me in this van. But given what had just happened back in the ceremony space, I didn’t leave her any options. I was out for blood. Viciously seeking what I should have always known.
“His real name is Clint Weston. And your mother’s real name is Norah Rossi. But this will all be explained to you later James. In great detail. It’s a bigger story than I have time to tell you right now. I’m just here to save you.”
“Where are you taking me?”
Delia swallowed, not giving me an answer. I was sick of not getting answers to questions I deserved answers to. Enough was enough. “Tell me the fucking truth. Where are you taking me Delia-Weston-who-says-she’s-my-aunty!”
She closed her eyes as the next words tumbled from her lips. “To see your Dad.”
“Have my mother and father arrived from France? Do you work for them?”
“No James. I’m not taking to see your Mom and my brother. I’m taking you to see your ...” she paused, “biological father.”
Biological father? What?
LIES. FUCKING LIES.
“My real father is dead,” I stated matter-of-factly.
“No,” she breathed out. “He’s not dead James. He’s very much alive.”
“What are you talking about? He died in my mother’s arms, in a car accident before I was born. He can’t be alive. It’s not possible.”
“That’s one version of the story James. Another was that he was shot by the Lappell while he and your mother were trying to run away, and when he passed out from loss of blood in your mother’s arms, she believed he was dead, but when he was taken away, long after your mother fled, it was discovered he was still alive. Barely...but he got to a doctor just in time. I should know. I was there when the doctor worked on him and saved his life.”
It was like my whole world had stopped. Everything shifted off its axis. In this tiny car, with this strange woman who claimed she was my aunty, telling me something I never believed possible. “But...but...” I tried to make sense of it all. Tried to see her lies. What would she gain from telling me such a story that would reach in and crush my insides? You can’t do this to someone after twenty-one years. You just can’t.
I was breaking. Really truly emotional breaking from some kind of pain in my gut. I just couldn’t believe anymore of this so-called truth. It was too much. Too unbelievable. It had to be wrong.
“No...No. It’s not possible. All this time...my whole life. No, I don’t believe you. My mother wouldn’t lie to me. Not about that. I watched her grieve. She still grieves to this day. She told me he died. I believe her. She would never keep something like this from me. You’re wrong. You must be wrong. You’re telling me lies.”
Delia had glassy eyes now, feeling my pain, and knowing what she was saying would mean to me. She felt sorry for me. I could see it. Sensed it. It radiated off her, unhidden. “James,” she said softly, full of compassion, “your mother didn’t lie to you.” She paused, and then looked like this was going to be the hardest thing she ever had to say to someone. “Your Mom doesn’t know he’s alive.”
{26}
Mummy and Daddy were asleep in the hospital room. I had fallen asleep on Daddy’s chest,
but now I was awake and hungry. I crawled off Daddy’s chest and took some coins from his pocket. He looked so peaceful on the couch in Mummy’s room. They were happy they had a private room for them and the baby. I wanted to go home, but Daddy said we couldn’t because we had a new home to go to now. I was sad because I left all my toys back at our house and couldn’t bring any of them. At least I had Mr. Bear with me.
There was no one in the hospital’s halls when I stepped out of Mommy’s room. No nurses or doctors or people. It must have been really late. I wasn’t supposed to leave the room, but I remembered I saw a candy machine in the hallway and I really wanted a chocolate. I wouldn’t be away long. Mommy and Daddy would never know.
I slowly crept out into the hall holding onto the coins tightly in my fist. I suddenly didn’t like how quiet it was. I felt a little frightened. The shadows from the lights scared me. I wanted to run and get the chocolate and go straight back to the room. When I got to the candy machine, I realized I couldn’t get to the slot for the money. It was out of my reach. I could only stare into machine at the chocolate. My tummy growled.
“Do you need some help little man?”
I turned around and saw a tall guy staring down at me. I jumped back in surprise. I didn’t know he was there.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you.” He knelt down on the floor. “You just looked like you need some help with the candy machine.”
The man had a nice face for a stranger. I liked him right away. I stepped forward, not feeling scared anymore. He wanted to help.
“I can’t reach the money slot,” I said quietly.
The tall man reached into his own pocket and retrieved some coins, popping them in one by one into the machine. “Which one would you like?” he asked.
Fiendish Play Page 23