I think about the last time I saw myself naked and have to suppress a shudder. I’ve always been a little overly concerned and pressured about my body image, but I actually miss my pre-apocalypse body now. I don’t like being able to feel all of my ribs or see my hip bones jutting out against paper white skin so tightly I’m surprised I don’t bruise. This body of mine feels weak and unsafe, even though I try to keep it as fit as possible. But we’ve all seen the effects of little to no food—even Ryder. No access to his normal diet and recuperating from his injury have made his firm, muscular body a little spongier than it was when we first met.
Ryder starts sifting through the cans, looking for stuff we haven’t eaten every day since the world ended. He passes over cans of peas and corn, and I’m glad to see that isn’t the majority. We find unopened jars of applesauce and peppers with intact seals, cans of corned beef hash, chicken, roast beef and gravy, and smoked ham.
“Canned smoked ham?” I ask questionably.
He shrugs. “Food is food. Who knows, it might be the best tasting thing you’ve ever had.”
I smile and go back to sifting through the piles. There are a few cans of the ever popular Vienna sausages, which I promptly shove away. If I never see another can of that as long as I live, it’ll still be too soon, I think. Beside them are a few cans of chicken and dumplings that are not dented and actually look pretty good, some canned Chinese food, beef stew, and even a can of tamales. I can’t see inside so I have no idea if they look edible or not, but I’m interested to try them.
Ryder finds boxes of mashed potatoes and stuffing, macaroni and cheese, along with several cans of ravioli and spaghetti-o’s. He shoves away a few cans of baked beans, since we’ve eaten those so often they’re no longer appetizing, and they join the discarded pile. There are boxes of plain old pasta, along with a few varieties of jarred sauces we can use to make a hot, decent meal for once. We immediately discard the opened boxes of cereal, and instead opt for the boxes of cereal bars and granola bars that are individually wrapped and haven’t expired yet.
Ryder makes a choked noise, and I look over, worried that he’s already sampling something and is choking. Instead, I see him practically cradling a thing of instant coffee, and I’m surprised there are no tears in his eyes as he stares fondly at it. “Seriously?” I ask with a laugh.
He looks at me. “Don’t be a hater,” he teases. “I haven’t had coffee in nearly a year. They were practically forcing it down our throats to keep us awake and alert while we were holding the lines, but I haven’t had it since then. Oh how I’ve missed it. I’m taking this,” he says in all seriousness.
“What else should we take?”
“As much of it as we can,” he says. “I want us to not have to rely on canned beans and corn anymore. We can’t keep going on that shit indefinitely. Some corned beef hash, Chinese food, those chicken and dumplings, mac and cheese, and some cooked pasta sound pretty damn good right about now. And for breakfast tomorrow, some of those cereal bars and some fresh made coffee. The others are gonna be so happy.”
“We should drop off some of this to their rooms so they don’t have to get uncomfortable. I’m sure Daisy and Naomi would appreciate some hot food right about now. Think we should make some of that pasta for tonight and dish it out?” He nods eagerly before I’m even finished talking. “Okay, what kind should we make? Just plain old spaghetti, or do you wanna use some of that canned chicken and make chicken alfredo? We’ve got the sauce for it.”
“I don’t know how canned chicken will hold up being cooked like that, but let’s find out. Find us a few pans and we’ll get started.”
Chapter Eleven
An hour later, after one or two tiny mishaps in the kitchen, the two of us are curled up on a loveseat together enjoying our plates of pasta. The others were glad to get their share, and I hope it warms Daisy and Naomi right up and makes them feel better. I know it’s doing wonders for myself. It’s strange, but one plate of warm food makes me feel like an entirely new, rejuvenated person—a person who has never known hunger a day in her life.
Ryder licks his plate clean when he’s done, and then chugs nearly half of a water bottle down that he found in the fridge after he was curious enough to open it. “Don’t be afraid to drink a little more while we’re here. This place still has running water, and we’ll make sure to fill up what we have before we leave. I’m sure the good doctor won’t mind.” He doesn’t sound like he’s too sure about that, but I also notice that he doesn’t sound like he really cares what the “good doctor” thinks about us.
“He’s a weird one, isn’t he?” I ask quietly, setting our plates on the coffee table in front of us. I fold my legs up and snuggle closer to Ryder, and he puts his arm around me, pulling me as close as he possible can.
“You can say that again,” Ryder mutters, stifling a yawn with his free hand. “I’ve been trying to get a read on him since we set foot in this death lab, and I can’t decide if he’s just eccentric, or if he’s a fucking madman. It makes me want to put someone on watch all night.”
“No,” I say. “He needs us.”
“What makes you say that?” he asks curiously.
“He said that with Todd’s blood, he could begin the testing phase. What’s he gonna test it on? Definitely not living people; that wouldn’t do him any good. He needs zombies to test it on, or at least some kind of contaminated flesh. And he’s certainly not going to go out there and get it himself. He’s too valuable in his own mind to risk his life.”
“So you think he’ll use us to gather test subjects for him to experiment on?” Ryder doesn’t sound as though he likes the thought of that, and I don’t blame him. Willingly putting ourselves out there like that is extremely dangerous, and could result in us losing our lives.
“Yes, I think he’ll use us as much as he can while we’re here. But we came all this way to offer our help, so we may as well find a way to get him what he needs. He is too important to risk. He may be the only living person that can replicate a cure and fix all of this. I think tomorrow he’ll ask us to capture one of them alive—or maybe dead, I don’t know how it works.”
“That’s crazy, but even crazier…you’re right. He’s gonna need something to test on, and we’re the best people to get it for him. Damn, I was hoping to kick back and relax for a little bit. But I guess that isn’t gonna happen anytime soon.”
“We can relax when the world is fixed.”
“But there’s no telling how long that might be. I wanna relax now,” he says, pouting in an attempt to get me to smile.
It works, and I find myself laughing. He joins in, and when we’re back to being serious, I trail a finger slowly down his arm and lower my eyes. “If you wanna relax now, I could make a suggestion.”
He raises an eyebrow and his lips tilt up in a knowing smirk. “Oh yeah?”
“There’s a bathroom through that door,” I say, nodding in its general direction. “We could take a hot shower together and then hit the sack.”
“Well, I’m not gonna wanna sleep after a hot shower,” he says, hovering over me with a smile.
“Neither am I,” I say with a playful smile.
He growls playfully, and lifts me up off the couch and into his strong arms. He carries me bridal style through the nearby bathroom door, setting me down on the edge of the white bathtub. For a second, I consider the two of us taking a nice, relaxing bath together, but I don’t think the tub is big enough for us to avoid elbowing each other in the face or junk. So I keep silent and watch Ryder as he turns on the water and tests it with his hand.
After a minute, he pulls his hand out and dries it on his dirty jeans. “Houston, we have hot water. Commencing with mission ‘get my girl naked’.”
His playfulness startles a laugh out of me, and he turns and gives me one of his boyish smirks that I love more than anything. Ryder doesn’t always get the chance to be open and carefree, and I love when he gets the opportunity to let loose a little bit and
have some fun, even if it’s just with me in the privacy of our room. It makes me feel like Ryder has a future after the world goes back to normal—or at least as normal as it can go.
Ryder meets my eyes, and he begins to slowly undo the buckle of his belt. My eyes drift down, and I watch him, completely captivated by his movements. As he undoes the button of his jeans, I bite down on my lip and feel my eyes widen just a bit as I wait anxiously for what comes next. “Your turn,” he says with a smile.
With a disappointed huff, I get to my feet. Ryder sits back on the edge of the bathtub. He looks me up and down, waiting for me to start getting undressed. I start with my shirt, slowly pulling it up and over my head, making sure to arch my back and put my breasts close to his face. He moans quietly, and I feel myself start to grow a little bolder at his positive reaction. With a coy smile, I drop the shirt on the floor and let him take a good long look at me.
My fingers play with the button on my jeans, and I unzip them, giving him just a hint of a glimpse at the panties underneath. I start to shimmy out of my jeans, and stop, a thoughtful look on my face. With a devilish smile, I pull my jeans back up on my hips and smile. “Your turn.”
“Oh, that’s dirty,” he says, laughing. He gets to his feet and practically rips his shirt off, exposing his perfectly tanned body. I feel my heart begin to race as he steps out of his jeans and boxers, kicking them aside carelessly. He’s definitely not playing around anymore. “Better?”
I look over his body with obvious appreciation, taking in his every feature as if I might not ever get the chance to see it again. I can tell from his posture that he enjoys being ogled. He’s even teased me a little about it in the past, and since then, I’ve learned to not feel ashamed about my desires, mostly thanks to Ryder’s patience and understanding. Most people have them, and they’re a perfectly natural part of any healthy relationship.
I step out of my panties—trying not to think about how long it’s been since any of my clothes had a proper wash. Ryder puts his hands on my hips and pulls me closer until our stomachs are touching. I can feel the heat from his body, and it makes my skin tingle. His fingertips press into the skin of my hip, burning through to the bone and setting my whole body on fire with his rough caresses. He leans in until his forehead is pressed into my collarbone and he breathes in deeply. “Ready to relax?”
I nod, trailing my fingers down the back of his neck, curling the ends of his hair around my finger in slow, soothing motions like I know he loves. “I love you,” I say breathlessly.
His breath is hot on my neck as he replies, “I love you, too.”
Ryder pulls away from me just long enough to step into the shower, and he pulls the curtain back, a happy and inviting expression on his face. I join him, sighing as the steaming hot water hits my back and rolls down my body, washing away far too much dirt and sweat. Ryder pulls me closer, putting us both as far under the spout as we can get.
We wash each other’s bodies with some shampoo that we find in the shower rack, and I make sure to take my time and run my hands slowly over Ryder’s body, enjoying this time to relax and feel close to him. The hot water feels amazing, and so do his hands as they run down my shoulders and back, washing away dirt, anxieties, and fears until there’s nothing left but a feeling of freshness.
Long after we’re clean, Ryder and I stay under the hot water, gently exploring each other’s bodies. When we’re finally ready to get out, Ryder grabs a clean, fluffy towel from the sink counter where he left them, and he wraps me in it tightly. It feels so nice to have something soft and clean against my skin, and I pull it even tighter around my chest, not caring that water is dripping down my legs and soaking the rug at our feet.
Ryder wraps a clean towel around his waist, and I watch droplets of water drip down his chest. “Like what you see?” Ryder teases, not for the first time. His voice is soft and deep, and it soothes me.
Reaching out, I gently trail my fingertips across his stomach, tracing the intricate tattoo lines that stretch from hip to hip, enjoying the sight of the ornate Celtic knots. I remember the story of how he ended up with such a strange tattoo, and it brings a smile to my lips. Ryder smiles too, and he places his hand overtop of mine. Warmth seeps through my skin again, and I feel my heart start to race.
“Ready for bed?” he asks quietly.
“No,” I say breathlessly. “Definitely not.”
“Good. Me neither.”
Ryder leads me by the hand through the other door in the bathroom, and we find ourselves in a tiny bedroom. There’s a bed crammed in the far corner that looks to be a double, and beside it is a small bedside table with a reading lamp and a few framed pictures. The walls are bare, covered only in plain cream colored paint, and the carpet beneath our feet is thick and blue, with no rugs to break up the blandness of it all.
He looks at me and smiles. “Still not the worst place we’ve ever had to sleep,” he says cheerfully.
“Beats the backseat of a car for sure.”
“Hey now, don’t knock backseats. They can be used for a lot of things,” he says, winking at me.
I put my hands on my chest and shove, sending him stumbling toward the bed. “Well, why don’t you stop talking and show me some of those things?”
He grins. “Go find our stuff in my bag. It should be by the loveseat.”
I hold my towel tight as I dart back through the bathroom and into the living area, searching for Ryder’s backpack. It’s on the far side of the loveseat, and I open the front pouch, looking for our secret stash that isn’t really a secret since everyone in our group knows we’re doing it. I dig around in the pouch and frown when I come away with only one wrapped condom. I spread open the pouch and search again, just to make sure I haven’t missed one of them. But there’s nothing else left in the pouch except for some lint along the seam.
Well that sucks…
I head back into the bedroom, a little slower than when I left, and Ryder picks up on it immediately. “What’s up?”
“This is our last one,” I say, holding it out to him. “And I doubt they’ll have any here.”
He smiles. “Well, we’ll just have to make this last one really count, don’t you think?” I nod my head, and he pats the bed next to him. “Now come here and let me show you a thing or two.”
With a shy smile, I drop the towel to the floor, and Ryder’s eyes go just a little bit wider.
*****
Early in the morning, Ryder and I wake up to find a stack of clean clothes waiting for us on the loveseat in the living area. There’s not a note, but I assume they’re from Dr. Richards. Ryder and I glance at each other, and we shrug, taking them gladly. We have limited clothing options, and most of what we do have is worn out and nearly threadbare in some places. It’ll be nice to wear something new, even if they did all belong to someone that’s long dead.
I put on my old bra, and pull on a white undershirt from the stack. I have one semi clean pair of panties left in Ryder’s bag, and I pull on a clean pair of jeans overtop of them. I find a long sleeved red plaid women’s shirt in the stack, and button it up while Ryder gets dressed beside me. He has a pair of clean jeans and a black t-shirt, pretty much what he always seems to wear. But at least our clothes are clean for now.
“I wonder where the washer is in this place. They have to have one somewhere,” Ryder says. “We should find it and give our clothes a good wash with actual hot water and soap.”
“Or we could just take all new clothes with us,” I point out. “Ours aren’t going to hold up forever, and I doubt Dr. Richards is gonna be wearing women’s clothing. I bet he never takes that lab coat off,” I say with a chuckle. “I wouldn’t doubt it if he even sleeps in it.”
Ryder closes the door to our living quarters behind us and cracks a smile. “Yeah, he’s way too serious for silk pajamas or fluffy slippers. Lab coat all the way.”
“If he even sleeps that is,” Reese says, closing his door behind Naomi. “I went to raid the kitch
en sometime this morning—”
“At an ungodly hour,” Naomi mutters, looking much better than she did last night. “And you woke me up, thank you very much.”
Reese ignores her and continues. “He was still in his lab when I found him. I grabbed a snack and took a little look around, and there he was, sitting at his desk, like he hadn’t moved all night. Probably pouring over his notes again now that he can finally move on to the next step.” Reese hesitates a little, but keeps going. “How much help are we going to give this guy? He’s not stupid, so he’ll know that he should take advantage of us being here while he can. Where do we draw the line?”
“There is no line,” Ryder says. “We came here with the hope of a cure, and now that there really can be one, we’ll have to do whatever this guy needs us to. We can’t afford to be squeamish at a time like this, not when so much hinges on this scientist. If he needs something from us, we need to be ready to give it, no matter what.”
Reese shifts uncomfortably, and Naomi looks a little scared. “Do you think he’s gonna ask us to do some weird stuff for him?” She narrows her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. “Cause I am not down with that.”
I laugh. “Nothing sexual, you dork.”
“Then what?” she asks, smiling back at me.
“He’ll probably keep asking Todd for more blood, because I’m sure three or four vials aren’t going to last long. And I’ll bet once he’s ready to start testing his cure, he’ll ask us to find him someone to test it out on. It’ll be our job to get one of them inside without putting it down.”
Zombie World (Zombie Apocalypse #3) Page 15