by Parker, Ali
Her lips were warm. She tasted like beer and jalapenos and smelled like flowers and sunshine.
I pulled away and held her at arm’s length. “We shouldn’t be doing this, Quinn.”
“What do you mean?”
I shook my head. “I mean, I can’t do this. Today was great, and I miss you like hell. But when I have you, all I can think about is Max and what this would do to him. And I just can’t, Quinn. I’m sorry.”
Her eyes widened, but she didn’t say anything as I let her go and started walking away. But I heard her heels striking the floor as she hurried after me and caught my wrist. “Where are you going?”
“Back to New York.”
“Now?”
“Yeah.”
“But it’s cold. And dark. It’s a twelve-hour ride, Rhys! Just stay and leave in the morning.”
I shook my head. “No.”
She let my wrist go. “Did I do something wrong?”
I looked back at her over my shoulder. “No, Quinn.”
She bit her bottom lip. “You’re not just saying that?”
I went back to her and put my hands on her shoulders. “You’ve never done anything wrong. I’m the one who’s done wrong. And you’ll be all right.”
I wasn’t sure, but I thought I felt her tremble beneath my palms. She looked down at her feet. “Call me when you get there safely?”
“I will,” I said, and then I kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes.
Chapter 16
Quinn
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and stared down at it. I let out a frustrated sigh and hovered my thumb over Rhys’s phone number.
Nancy looked up from behind the reception desk at the parlor. “What’s up, Quinn?”
“He still hasn’t messaged me.”
“Rhys?”
“Yeah, who else?”
“Sorry,” Nancy said. Then she lifted her pen and tapped it against her chin. “Maybe he ended up stopping at a motel on his way home or something? Like you said, it would have been a long, cold ride.”
I scratched the back of my neck. “Yeah. Maybe.”
Nancy stood up and walked around the desk to plop down on the tattoo bench in front of me. Her feet dangled off the floor, and she swung her legs. The shop was empty, and we didn’t have any appointments for the last half hour of the day. “Just call him.”
“I don’t want to. It was so awkward how he left. I don’t want him to think I’m some crazy girl who’s obsessed with him or something.”
Nancy cocked her head to the side. “But you are a crazy girl who’s obsessed with him.”
I slapped her knee. “Shut up, Nancy.”
Nancy smiled, but she didn’t laugh at me. “You’ll drive yourself crazy just wondering where he is. Call him. And then you can at least go to bed tonight and not be worried.”
She was right, of course. I’d already twirled strands of my hair so tightly that I pulled them out of my head. I pressed dial and lifted the phone to my ear. He didn’t answer, so I left him a voicemail. I kept it simple. “Hey, it’s me. Just wanted to make sure you got back to New York in one piece. Let me know.”
Nancy nodded approvingly as I tucked the phone back in my pocket. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
“No. But it wasn’t so easy, either.”
Nancy put her hand on my shoulder. “I know, babe.” She slid off the seat and went to the storage closet where she grabbed a broom and a Swiffer mop. She held them both up, and I pointed at the Swiffer. She tossed it to me and started sweeping in the north corner, working her way out through the rest of the shop. I followed behind her with the mop.
“I just wished he’d stayed another night,” I said once we were halfway done. I needed to talk about this. Carrying it around in my head wasn’t doing me any favors.
“I know.”
“And I don’t understand why he couldn’t. Would one night really make that much of a difference to him? I mean, it’s not like sleeping at my place would solidify anything. It wouldn’t change anything between us either.”
Nancy rested her chin on the end of her broom. “Have you stopped to seriously consider what it’s like from his perspective?”
“Of course I have.”
“Quinn, I mean it. Be objective, and really think about it.”
I stared blankly at her.
Nancy laughed, shook her head, and continued sweeping. But she didn’t leave me hanging. She was good like that. “Well, let’s think about it right now then. He spent his whole life by Max’s side. They were everything to each other. And you were everything to Max. Right?”
“Right,” I said slowly.
“And it was no secret how Max felt about you and that he didn’t want you involved in the MC life. He kept you at arm’s length for a reason. Rhys understood that. It’s why he never wanted Max to know about the two of you.”
“I know.”
“So when Max was killed, did you really think any of that would just magically change?”
“Well, no, but—”
“But nothing,” Nancy said. “Rhys was the only one who was there when your brother died, Quinn. He’s the only one who knows what happened. That’s a lot for one person to carry.”
“I’ve tried to help him. I’ve tried to get him to open up to me.”
Nancy stopped sweeping again and put her hand on her hip. “Can’t you see how insane that is?”
“What do you mean?” I asked defensively. I’d stopped mopping.
Nancy tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “How could he confide in you, Max’s sister? We both know your brother didn’t have a pleasant death. He was murdered. Quinn, come on. Rhys is trying to spare you from knowing the details.”
I licked my lips. “I know that.”
“Then how is he supposed to just confide in you?”
“I don’t know. But he has to let someone in at some point, right?”
Nancy nodded. “I couldn’t agree more. But he’s not going to do it on his own. There’s no way in hell. For as long as I’ve known him, he’s always been private. And he’s determined to protect you until the day he dies. This is all just part of that.”
“Well, fuck that!” I said angrily.
Nancy shrugged.
I growled and kicked the end of one of the tattoo chairs. Pain laced up my leg, but I didn’t care. “He has to stop thinking that he has any right to make my choices for me.”
“I agree.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do, Quinn!” Nancy threw her hands up in the air. “For fuck’s sakes! The two of you are just a massive fucking migraine. You make it so much harder than it needs to be.”
“I make it harder?” I asked incredulously. “He’s the one—”
“No,” Nancy said, cutting me off. “It takes two. Rhys needs help. And he needs you. And you need him. Somehow, the two of you need to figure that out.”
“How do I help him?”
Nancy gave me a sad smile. “You need to forgive him.”
“For what?”
“For Max. For everything. He needs someone to tell him that none of what happened was his fault, and he needs to believe it. And I think you’re the only one who has any chance of doing that.”
“I do forgive him.”
“I know, but maybe he doesn’t. Or he doesn’t believe it. Quinn, you’re the toughest chick I know. If you want him, you have to fight for him. And it might feel like you’re just slamming your head against a wall for a while, but it will get better. For both of you.”
I rubbed my forehead. “Why are men so complicated?”
Nancy chuckled. “I don’t know, but if you ever figure it out, please share the secret.”
We spent the last twenty minutes of our shift cleaning the shop. By the time we closed up and flicked off all the lights, it smelled like citrus cleaner, and every surface was clean and ready for the next morning.
We walked across the dark parking lot to Nanc
y’s car. She started it up and looked over at me as I stared out the passenger window with my cheek in my hand. “Do you want to pick up gelato on the way home?” she asked.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
She put the car in drive. “Okay, gelato it is. Anything else?”
I shook my head. “No, I’m okay. Thanks, Nancy.”
She pulled out of the parking lot. “I’ve got you, babe. Everything will work out. Don’t worry. Let’s just have a nice night in tonight. We can watch a movie. I think we have a bottle of wine at the apartment, too.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Right?” Nancy turned on the radio, and an upbeat song filled the car. She cranked it a bit louder and started singing along. She flashed me a crazy smile when I looked over at her, and soon, the two of us were rocking out as we drove the three miles down the street to our favorite gelato shop.
We parked the car, went inside, and ordered the largest sizes we could, piling the cups with all different flavors. The staff knew us by name, and we stood around and chatted for a while. By the time we got back in the car, I was already feeling better. Lighter.
“Thanks, Nancy,” I said.
“Anytime.”
My apartment greeted us with open arms. We both went into our bedrooms and changed into our lounging clothes. I came out of my room in a pair of galaxy-printed leggings and an oversized black sweater. Nancy emerged wearing a thigh-length hoodie and socks that went up to her knees. She padded into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of white wine from the fridge. She fetched two glasses and came to join me on the sofa as I looked through all our movie options.
“What are you in the mood for?” I asked. “Comedy? Horror? Drama?”
“No to drama,” she said, shaking her head. “You know I love a good horror flick, but I think tonight might be a good time to stick with a comedy.”
That was probably a good move. A comedy was always a good little pick-me-up. I tried to find one that wasn’t based on a love story. It was hard, but we pulled it off and sat back in the sofa cushions with our gelato and wine. Soon, I was immersed in the movie, and my thoughts weren’t as dark and frustrated as they had been an hour earlier.
Then my phone lit up on the coffee table. I felt Nancy’s eyes on me as I leaned forward and picked it up.
“What does it say?” Nancy asked. She already knew it was from Rhys.
I sighed and read it aloud. “Made it back. Stay safe Quinn.”
“That’s it?” she asked.
I nodded and flipped my phone over. “That’s it.”
Chapter 17
Rhys
The first thing I did on Sunday morning when I woke up was roll over and look at my phone. I wasn’t entirely sure if I’d expected Quinn to message me back or not. She hadn’t.
Had I wanted her to?
Maybe.
But it was also a good sign that she hadn’t. Maybe she was mad at me. Maybe this time, things would finally end between us, and she could carry on with her normal life back in Chicago. Maybe she’d meet someone.
Fuck. That thought hit me right in the gut.
I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and rested my elbows on my knees. Thinking of Quinn with another man made my teeth hurt. But if I was lucky, my time with her had given her some closure, and we were finally on the same page: this couldn’t go on. We were done. And that meant I would have to stomach the fact that she would find someone else.
Someone else who would take her dancing. Who would care for her, protect her, fuck her…
I shook my head. “God damn it.”
After standing up, I cracked my back. The twelve-hour ride back from Chicago had left me a little sore, so I indulged in some morning stretches before hitting the shower. The hot water chased away the fatigue, and I felt better by the time I dried off and got dressed.
There were things to attend to now that I was back in the big city.
I started by calling Ryder. He answered on the third ring. “Rhys.”
“Hey, just wanted to give you the heads-up that I’m back in town.”
“In one piece, I hope?”
“Yes.”
“Glad to hear it,” Ryder said stiffly. I heard him yawn. “Aiden is here with me. He says he’s on his way to your place.”
“Tell him to bring coffee.”
I heard the first half of Ryder’s sentence, telling Aiden to bring coffee before he hung up on me.
I slid my phone in my back pocket and walked through my place to do a quick clean up. Once everything was in order, I went out into the garage. I opened the doors and let the chilly spring morning air in as I set to work on my bike. There were a few maintenance things to be done to it. I wanted to change the oil and the brake pads, and I didn’t see a better time than now.
I needed the distraction.
I heard Aiden coming when he was probably two or three blocks away. His car, a new Challenger, was loud as shit, and by the time he pulled into my driveway, I was sure my neighbors were annoyed. It didn’t matter. It was ten in the morning on a Sunday. They should be up by now. If not, they were lazy fuckers who deserved the rude wakeup call.
Or they were teenagers.
Aiden got out of his sleek black muscle car and slammed the door behind him. He had a drink tray in his hand with two coffees on it and a bag of food. He stepped into the garage and put it down on my workbench. “Morning,” he said.
I wiped my hand on a rag—an old T-shirt, to be precise—and walked over to the bench. He handed me my coffee. “Thanks, man. I ran out.”
“Holy shit, man,” Aiden said, flinching when he saw my face. I’d already forgotten about the bruises around my neck and the split lip and eyebrow. “What the fuck happened to you out there?”
I shrugged. “Turns out, there was more than one guy to contend with.”
“How many is more than one?”
“Four.”
Aiden shook his head. “I knew some of us should have gone with you.”
I laughed. “I’m all right.”
Aiden narrowed his eyes at my throat. “Did one of them try to fucking strangle you?”
“Key word there is ‘try,’” I said. “I’m fine. No serious harm done. And those fuckers will leave Quinn and Nancy alone now.”
“Jesus.”
“Thanks for the coffee,” I said, holding up the cup of steaming rich goodness.
“No worries. Black, right?”
“You got it.”
Aiden nodded at the bag. “I picked up a couple breakfast sandwiches and hash browns too. I figured you probably wouldn’t have eaten this morning.”
“What made you figure that?” I asked as I opened up the bag and pulled out one of the sandwiches. Egg and sausage. Excellent choice. I took my first bite and nodded approvingly.
“Well, you just got back from seeing Quinn. So, naturally, you’ll neglect yourself for the next week or two.”
I swallowed my food and narrowed my eyes at him. “What?”
“Don’t give me that look. You know it’s true.”
I shifted uncomfortably. “I’m fine.”
“Yeah, sure you are.” Aiden grabbed his sandwich and leaned against the bench, crossing his ankles. “How was Chicago?”
“The same as it was when we were there.”
“Right, and did you hook up with my cousin or what?”
I sputtered into my coffee, burned my tongue, and scowled at him as I dragged the back of my hand across my mouth.
Aiden chuckled. “Dude, come on. You know I won’t get bent out of shape about it. I know you and Quinn are good for each other.”
“I’m not talking to you about this.”
“So, you did hook up?” He nodded knowingly. “Good. Where do things stand between you two, then? You going to go back out there soon?”
“No.”
“No?”
“You heard me.”
Aiden frowned but said nothing.
“Listen,” I said, tossin
g my empty sandwich wrapper back into the bag and grabbing my hash brown. “Quinn and I are over. We had one more fling, but that was it. I can’t keep doing it anymore. It’s not fair to her. And the space between us makes it too hard.”
Aiden arched an eyebrow. “Sounds like a lot of excuses if you ask me.”
“Well, I didn’t ask you.”
Aiden finished his sandwich and sipped his coffee. We stood in silence for a little while, and he looked over my bike. He asked me what I was working on, and I told him, glad for the subject change. He asked about the ride and how long it took and how cold it was. He asked about Nancy and how she was doing with all of this.
“She seems all right.” I shrugged. “I mean, I didn’t spend too much time with her—”
“Because you were boning my cousin.”
“Shut the fuck up, man.”
“Sorry. Couldn’t resist.”
“Anyway, Nancy is fine. Everyone is fine.”
“Except for the guys you fucked up, right?”
I smirked. “Right. How is Ryder? And Dani?”
Aiden uncrossed his ankles and walked around my garage as he sipped his coffee. “They’re good. Dani is ready to pop any second. I had no idea how big she’d gotten. Don’t tell her I said that.”
“Never.”
“Anyway, you can tell they’re both ready to just get on with the damn thing. The nursery is ready, and Dani has her hospital bag packed and sitting by the front door.”
I smiled. “She’s always prepared.”
“Always.”
Aiden stopped pacing around my garage and looked at me. I could tell there was something he wanted to say, but he was debating whether or not it was something he should keep to himself.
“What?” I asked.
He ran his hand over his head. “Are you sure that you and Quinn are really done? For good?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. Not that it’s any of your business.”
He sighed and shook his head.
“Something else you want to say?”