by Rye Hart
“What?” I asked flatly.
“And I want to apologize. I needed the money. I was in a bad situation, and my siblings and I weren’t eating. I saw a quick way to make money, so I could feed them, so I took it. He paid me, and I saw my moment when the two of you split off. I drugged his drink and followed Rhett out to his car, and when he jumped in, I followed shortly behind.”
“Luke paid you?” Ana asked.
“Why are you just telling me this now?” I asked. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me this ten years ago when it could’ve made a damn difference?”
“I was scared Luke would ask for the money back if I came clean, and I had no way to get it back to him. I’m sorry, Chanel. But when I saw you in the shadows watching them load that man onto this boat in handcuffs, I knew I had to come clean to someone. Rhett sat down at the casino bar where I already was, so I took the opportunity.”
“He didn’t meet you there?” I asked.
“Nope. Had no idea I was there until I said something. I’m sorry, Chanel. I never meant to put a dent like that in your relationship with him. But damn, girl, that was ten years ago. Come on.”
“You don’t get to pull something like that and then lecture me on how I’m supposed to deal with it,” I said.
“It was a stupid decision born out of financial need and the social need to be popular. I truly do regret it, and I’m sorry if you don’t understand that, but at least accept your responsibility in all of this.”
I was beside myself. Responsibility? She had hopped into a car with Rhett after being paid to do so, and she was lecturing me on responsibility? I took a step back like I had been slapped as Evelyn’s eyes raked up and down my form. My mind was screaming at me to say something while trying to digest what she had just told me.
“Neither of you were to blame for what happened in high school, but you allowing that memory to wreck what you could have with a great guy who obviously still carries a torch for you isn’t my fault. I can tell just by the look in your eye that you haven’t forgiven him for what happened. You’ve held it close to your chest and allowed it to affect you in ways it never should have,” Evelyn said.
“She’s got a point,” Ana said.
“Shut up,” I said. “Why didn’t you tell both of us when you saw us on the pool deck that day? When we were all sitting there and you walked by?”
“Fear,” Evelyn said plainly. “I was scared of confronting the two of you about it there. I saw how hyper focused Rhett was and, I had to admit, his protective stance over you had me rattled a bit. He’s a big boy.”
“He wouldn’t have hit you,” I said.
“Probably not, but he was pretty damn angry. And with good reason. You got up and left and before I could say anything else, Connie dragged me off to some dumb fucking spa treatment.”
I stood and stared at Evelyn, really seeing her for the first time. The hell she must have endured in high school made my heart ache, but more than that, her confession lightened my soul. Rhett hadn’t cheated on me that night. He had been telling me the truth about all of it earlier. And it scared me that it had been orchestrated by Luke.
“You know if you had told me this sooner, it would’ve saved me a lot of heartache with Luke on this trip,” I said.
“No, it wouldn’t have,” Ana said.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Seriously. It wasn’t until they found that shit in his room that you finally spoke up and said something to someone about what happened in Curaçao that day. Knowing Luke orchestrated this wouldn’t have done a damn thing, and you know it,” Ana said.
“What happened on the island? Is that why Luke was arrested?” Evelyn asked.
“None of your business,” I said.
“I didn’t mean to ruin anything. I had my reasons, as stupid and misguided as they were. I don’t expect you understand that, but now you know. What you choose to do with that information is up to you,” Evelyn said.
Then, she turned on her heel and got off the ship.
I felt myself teetering. My head was spinning with dizziness, and I felt myself growing nauseous. Ana and I approached the checkout kiosk, ready to check our bags so we could get out of here. But part of me wanted to get back to Rhett’s room, knock on the door, and see if he was still there. I turned my entire body around and sprinted for the ship, air whipping past my hair as my feet hit the platform.
But a strong man caught me in his arms and prevented me from going anywhere else.
“Ma’am, you can’t get back on the ship,” he said.
“I left something on there,” I said.
“We do a thorough check of the ship. If something’s missing, we’ll contact you.”
“Look, I just have to see if someone is still on the ship.”
“I can’t let you back on it once you disembark. Sorry, ma’am.”
“Please,” I said, “you don’t understand. This is my last chance. This is everything. Just let me on.”
“Is there any way to check your logs for personal addresses?” Ana asked.
I turned my watery gaze to her as she approached the guard blocking me from the ship’s entrance.
“No, ma’am. Those files are kept strictly confidential,” the man said. “You wouldn’t want me telling someone where you lived would you?” he asked.
“I want to wait for him,” I said. “I want to wait and see if he’s still there.”
“Chanel, we’re the last ones off our floor,” she said.
“Please. Wait with me. I don’t have any other options.”
The pity pooling in Ana’s eyes was too much for me to bear. She took my hand, pulling me from the security guard as we made our way back down to our stuff. We waited around at the end of the port dock for over an hour, watching as a few remaining people trickled off the ship. Evelyn and Connie walked by with her parents. A few random couples from our graduating class stumbled off in their drunken stupors. Cabs were leaving and not returning as the crowd died down, and it wasn’t until the cleaners on the ship began to disembark as well that I moved.
“He’s gone,” I said.
“They probably left early. I’m sure Rhett’s an early riser with his military training and all,” Ana said.
“He’s just gone,” I said.
“Come on, let’s get you back to my place. A bath, some wine, and that Chinese takeout place you love can keep us company tonight.”
“How will I find him?” I asked.
I turned around as Ana flagged down a cab for us to get into.
“Let’s leave those questions for tomorrow,” she said. “Right now, let’s get you back to a place that’s familiar to you. Get you into your routine. Get you feeling like you’re at home again.”
I felt empty. Broken. Confused. Ana loaded my bag into the trunk as I slipped into the cab, my forehead falling against the glass. I knew the truth. I finally knew the truth about everything that had happened. And now, when I needed Rhett, when it mattered the most, he was gone.
He was gone and I had no earthly idea how to find him.
I felt broken and scarred like I could drown my sorrows in the tears flooding my vision. But more than that, I felt alone.
My heart had been jump-started by Rhett’s smile, and now I couldn’t tell him how I felt.
I couldn't tell him that I loved him too.
CHAPTER 34
RHETT
I was at home, alone in the confines of my apartment as I beat myself up. I replayed the week of the cruise in my mind, trying to figure out what I could’ve done differently. I should’ve shoved my way into her room. I should’ve discarded my gut feeling to leave her alone and forced her to listen to me. It might’ve been a screaming match, and it might’ve hurt Chanel initially, but it would have put us in a better position. I knew once she heard the truth, even if I had to go find Evelyn to tell her, it would have made things better between us. It would have given her the proof she needed that I really hadn’t cheated on her all t
hose years ago.
Maybe then, she would be with me instead of wherever the hell she was now.
Now, she would never know the whole truth. She would live her life thinking the first man she had ever given herself to had betrayed her, broken her heart, shattered her world, and cheated on her. Though I’d convinced myself I must have done it since I didn’t remember one way or another, it still hadn’t sat right with me all these years. Yes, I’d always felt inferior to Chanel’s ambition and intelligence. Yes, I’d always felt that she’d deserved better than me, but I hadn’t subconsciously cheated on her to get her to leave me and go live her life.
And now, Chanel would never know that.
I understood why Evelyn had never come clean, but I was still angry with her. Had she told someone – anyone – it could have gotten back to Chanel. It could have repaired what had been broken that night and maybe we could have made it. The trust we had established still would have been there, and we could have made something work long distance.
Had Evelyn just come clean, none of that shit would’ve happened and we would still be together.
Anger started to mount in my chest. I turned everything around in my head, pulling it inside out. I was analyzing everything and trying to figure out if there were clues I missed, signs in high school I could have used to convince Chanel that I hadn’t betrayed our relationship. I felt my fists clenching as my legs locked with frustration, but the ringing of my cell phone pierced my thoughts and interrupted the angry drain I was spiraling down.
I reached into my pocket to grab my phone and saw it was Tommy calling.
“Hey,” I said.
“Still wallowing in your self-pity?” he asked.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“Let’s tone down that anger for a second. I’m unpacking my things.”
“You’re just now unpacking?” I asked. “It’s been, like, a week.”
“Yes, I’m just now unpacking, you dick. Did I leave my cologne in the hotel room we stayed in after the cruise?”
“You did. I was wondering when you would call about it.”
“Why the hell didn’t you call me?” he asked.
“Not my cologne. Not my problem.”
“You need to get laid. You’re pissy when you haven’t been laid.”
“I take it you want to come over and get it?” I asked.
“I do. I’ll be over in a second.”
I rolled out of bed and made my way to my bathroom. I plucked his cologne off the counter and waited on the couch for him. If he was worried about his cologne, it meant he had a date tonight. Lucky fucking bastard. He could easily move on from any woman, no matter how they affected him. I saw how happy he had been with Ana. They’d been all over one another, and he couldn't get enough of her. And here he was, not even a week after the cruise and ready to stick his dick in some other chick he found in some random place of his.
A knock came at the door, and I sighed as I got up.
“Where’d you find her this time?” I asked as I handed him his cologne.
“You look like shit, dude.”
“Wow. I can’t imagine why no woman wants to settle down with you,” I said.
“And I found her on the cruise,” he said.
“Ah, someone else from our class? Let me guess, you’re finally gonna fuck Emma Deese.”
I saw a hesitant look in Tommy’s eyes and I got curious. If there was one thing Tommy wasn’t, it was hesitant. If anything, he was overly confident and boastful about his escapades. I leaned against the doorframe and studied him as his eyes darted around, the cologne bottle twirling in his fingers.
“Who is it?” I asked.
“It’s Ana,” he said.
Her name hit me square in my chest. Ana? He was going on a date with Ana? Like, a legitimate date? Disappointment barreled over my system as question after question rose to my mind. Ana was still in town? Did that mean Chanel was still in town? How had he gotten in touch with Ana? I wasn’t aware they had exchanged numbers.
Then, I looked at what Tommy was wearing. He wasn’t in a pair of his nice jeans and a shirt that could easily be ripped off or some shit. He was dressed up – actually dressed up – in a suit with a button-down shirt and a jacket with shoes that shone.
He looked sharp. Really fucking sharp.
“Holy shit, you’re going on an actual date,” I said.
“I already told you that.”
“No, no. You’re picking her up and everything, aren’t you?” I asked.
Tommy looked embarrassed as his eyes shot down the hallway.
“Yeah, man. I am. I’m picking Ana up in about half an hour.”
“How is she?” I asked.
“She’s good. Yeah. Still in the area. Lives in the heart of Miami, near where she works.”
“I wasn’t aware the two of you had exchanged numbers.”
“We didn’t. I ran into her in the grocery store, of all places,” he said.
“Well, I’m happy for you.”
“Your face doesn’t look happy.”
“Don’t mind my face. I am happy for you, man, I really am. This is huge for you. Will you let me know how it goes?”
“Can you handle that?” he asked.
“Of course I can, dick. I wanna know all about it. You know, minus the details I know will be coming later tonight.”
Tommy snickered as a smile bloomed across his face. I had never seen my best friend like this. He was smitten with someone. It was a good look on him, and part of me was genuinely happy for him. But part of me was jealous. It should be Chanel and I going on a date. After our history and the passion we shared on that boat, Chanel and I should be doing this too.
We should be enjoying this kind of happiness, just like Tommy and Ana.
“There are other fish in the sea, you know,” Tommy said. “You’ll find someone.”
“I’m fine either way. Maybe it’s better off this way,” I said.
“Don’t talk like that, man. You’re a good guy. Some girl will come along and sweep you off your feet.”
“She already has,” I said. “Now, go on your date. I’ll be waiting for a phone call tomorrow.”
“You sure you don’t want me to stay? I could cancel with Ana.”
“Nope. I’m not letting you do that. This whole look? The tailored suit and the excited grin? It looks good on you. Go have fun. Tell Ana I said hello.”
“I’ll tell her. I could see if she would route Chanel a message if you want?” he asked.
I considered the offer, turning it around in my head. But I knew there was nothing I could say that would make Chanel seek me out now. I pushed the offer away and shook my head, then held my hand out for Tommy to shake.
“Good luck,” I said.
“You too. I’ll call you tomorrow, all right?”
“I’ll be waiting,” I said.
Waiting alone in my dark apartment for my best friend to tell me how his date with Chanel’s best friend went.
CHAPTER 35
CHANEL
I sat at my laptop, mindlessly listening to the conference call that was going on. I had spent three days at Ana’s apartment before I made my way back to my own. When I finally got back to work, I had an email from the editor of the Miami Herald. She was wanting me to do a piece on homelessness in the city, and for a brief moment, it got my mind off the chaos of the cruise. We emailed back and forth while I kept posting on my blog, fulfilling my follower’s needs without divulging everything that had happened on the cruise. I shared my brief journey with Rhett and talked about the importance of closure. I talked about heartache and how memories can always sting. I talked about how love can quickly turn into an obsession and hurt the one you were wanting to love in the first place, and I even talked about how sometimes walking down memory lane is necessary for moving forward.
I had more hits on my blog than ever before, and more people were linking back to it in blogs of their own.
But n
ow, I was part of an official conference call to brainstorm this piece on homelessness throughout Miami. They wanted it to be a thought-provoking piece with hard-hitting statistics that really got people’s attention. They wanted me to gather the percentage of homeless children and elderly. They wanted me to look into the systemic problem of poverty and how our country actively worked to make sure they stayed poor and on the streets. I took notes as best as I could, throwing out ideas whenever they peeked through my distracted mind.
But my thoughts were on Rhett and the revelation that had occurred at the end of the cruise.
I wondered what he was up to, what his life was bringing him, and if he was okay. I did as much research on him as I could and found he still lived in the Miami area, but where in the area was still unknown. I didn’t have his number or an address, not even a place of work I could call to try and get in touch with him. I had no way of telling him I knew the truth and no way of contacting him to make sure he was okay. It hurt knowing that and knowing I had all the pieces in play and I couldn’t even notify the one person to whom it made the greatest difference.
What I’d found out changed everything. It reaffirmed my trust and faith in him. That foundation that I thought was so splintered and cracked was only a mirage. He had done nothing to sway my trust back then, and he sure as hell hadn’t done anything now. All the appearances of Evelyn had been a coincidence, one massive coincidence that played against us because I didn’t know the full story.
I was an idiot for not seeing it earlier and for not cornering her on the cruise and investigating shit further.
“Miss Mathews, are you listening?”
“Yes, I’m sorry. You said something about word count, but I didn’t quite catch it,” I said.
“There is no official word count, but don’t write a book on it. You’ll be paid fourteen cents per word, but we’ll bat the article back and forth a bit to make sure it’s tailored and edited to fit our standards and the rhythm our readers are accustomed to.”
“Understandable. When is this piece supposed to run?” I asked.
“Not for another couple of months. We’re lining it up with the introduction of a new local foundation whose focus is the homeless community. Your article will be front and center, so it needs to be good.”