by Rye Hart
I felt the tears stinging the backs of my eyes and I couldn’t stop them from falling. “Oh God, what are we going to do?”
“I asked him to give me forty-eight hours to prepare her,” he said sadly.
“Dad?” came Tommy’s voice from behind Sean.
He tried to pull himself together as best he could and turned to greet his son as I quickly swiped the tears off my cheeks.
“What’s up?” Sean asked.
“We’re hungry, can we have chinese for dinner?” Tommy asked, his eyes moving from his father to me and back.
“Sure thing, bud,” Sean said, ruffling his hair. “How about you go get your sister and we’ll go into town?”
Tommy dashed off up the stairs to fetch Sarah and my emotions threatened to overtake me again. I didn’t know how I was going to get through dinner.
**
Sean had decided to make a whole night of it. After we left the Chinese restaurant, we went for ice cream, and then for a long drive with the windows down and the warm air in our hair. By the time we pulled into the driveway back home, both Tommy and Sarah were sound asleep.
I went to lift Sarah out of the car, but Sean shook his head. I knew he needed to hold his little girl as much as he could right now. My heart broke into a million pieces as I watched him carry her into the house. Tommy was too big for me to lift on my own, so I stayed out in the car with him and waited for Sean to come back.
After about ten minutes, Sean stepped out the front door looking broken. Tears streamed down his handsome face as he leaned in and picked up his son. I locked the car and followed him inside. Once he’d put Tommy to bed and came back down, I pulled him down on the couch next to me and held him while he wept.
The next morning, Sean came into the kitchen while I was making my breakfast and smiled down at the kids. I knew that he’d barely slept the night before. Between crying and angrily pounding his fist into his pillow, he’d exhausted most of his emotions, but sleep had still eluded him.
“How about we all go to the park after breakfast?” he asked.
“Yeah!” the kids both cheered.
I served breakfast and offered to stay behind and clear the dishes while he took the kids to play. I knew he was planning on telling Sarah about her father that afternoon and thought maybe he would want some time alone with them.
“Absolutely not,” he said as the kids were getting their shoes. “This is a family trip.” He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.
Though my heart swelled at the thought that I was part of this family, I ached with the knowledge that one of us was going to be ripped away. I took a deep breath and slapped my game face on. My family needed me and I wasn’t going to let them down.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE - SEAN
Emily and I sat on a bench while Tommy and Sarah played, marveling at how little fighting was going on. I watched my little girl, the one who’d slept on my chest for months after her mother had died, and wondered how in the hell I was ever going to be able to give her up.
Just the thought of Telissa made my blood boil. Not only had she ruined me by telling me about her affair, but she’d invited Glen into our lives. And for what? To assuage her own guilt? Emily gently touched my knee, and I could see the concern etched in her face as she watched me. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself before the kids caught on to my mood.
They played for a long time, just running around and having fun. A few times, Sarah ran up to tell me something she thought was cool. It nearly broke me inside to know that this was probably the last time I would spend these days with her. Last night I had strongly considered taking Glen to court for custody, but decided in the end that I couldn’t put Sarah through that. She would live with him while the trial went on and then what if I won? She’d be shuffled around all over again.
Movement out of the corner of my eye got my attention. I turned my head to see none other than Glen standing at the edge of the playground area. What the fuck? He’d promised me forty-eight hours. I stood up and turned to Emily.
“Keep an eye on the kids, will you?” I asked her. Before she could answer, I stalked over to where the other man stood, my hands balled into fists. I was ready to beat him bloody if he tried to approach Sarah right now.
His eyes never left her as I approached and before I could say a word, he started to speak.
“She looks so much like her mother,” he said softly.
I stood stock still, trying to control my temper. “Look, Glen, you promised me—”
He finally swung his eyes in my direction and held up his hand to interrupt me. “I loved her, you know? And in the beginning, I didn’t even know she was married. I never would have gotten with her had I known. But by the time I found out, I was already in love. When she broke it off, I was devastated and when I got her letter, I thought maybe I could still have a piece of her with me if I had our daughter.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but he shook his head and stopped me again.
“Please, this is hard enough. Just let me finish. I was in town last night, and I saw all of you out together. You all looked so happy. I barely slept at all last night, but I came to a decision. I can’t disrupt her life any more than it already has been. It would be selfish of me. She’s happy and she’s flourishing, and that’s because of you. You are her father, Sean, and I won’t take her from you.”
Tears instantly filled my eyes and it was all I could do not to hug the guy where he stood. “You’re sure about this? You’re not going to come back in a month and say you changed your mind?” I asked, afraid to believe this was real.
Glen shook his head. “No. I called my lawyer this morning and asked him to terminate my parental rights. He said since you are the father listed on the birth certificate, there wouldn’t be any additional paperwork. Just please promise me that you will always take care of her like you have been, that you will always make sure she’s happy.”
“I promise,” I said sincerely.
Glen looked at Sarah once again and smiled sadly. Without another word, he turned and left.
The kids played for a while longer while I went back to sit with Emily. I felt like a boulder had been lifted from my back. I was not going to lose my baby girl after all. I filled Emily in quietly while the kids chased one another around.
She decided to head back to the house a little before us to get started on a celebratory lunch and left me alone with my kids for a bit. After another few minutes, I called them over to where we sat. It was time I asked them something.
I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, looking from one face to the other.
“I wanted to ask you guys something,” I finally said. “What do you think of Emily?”
“We love her,” Tommy said quickly. “Why? You aren’t going to fire her again, are you?”
“What?” Sarah said, jerking her head around to face me. “You can’t!”
“No.” I laughed. “No, of course not. Emily isn’t going anywhere, you guys. I just wanted to know how you felt about her. If you like her, that sort of thing.”
“We love her,” Tommy said again. “She’s amazing, Dad. She really is. I didn’t think anyone would be able to take care of us after Mom died, but Emily does. It’s almost like having a real mom around again.”
Tommy’s words hit me like a brick. They were so deep and full of emotion that I had to wipe my eyes to keep my tears from spilling over. When I looked at his sister, she was nodding her head in agreement.
“I love Emily too,” she said firmly. “She’s my best friend, Daddy.”
“That’s wonderful,” I said, beaming. “I wanted to ask because, well, because I like Emily a lot too. In fact, I like her more than a lot.”
“Like as a friend?” Tommy asked with a frown. “Or a girlfriend?”
“A girlfriend,” I said firmly. “I like Emily as a girlfriend.”
“Wow,” Sarah said, her eyes wide. “You do?”
“Yes,” I said, nodding. �
��And I wanted to ask if that would be okay with you. Would either of you mind if I started to date Emily?”
“Well,” Tommy said thoughtfully. “Does she like you too?”
“Yes,” I said with a soft laugh. “She does.”
“Then it’s fine with me,” Tommy said, shrugging. “I don’t mind at all.”
“Sarah?” I asked.
“I think it’s amazing!” she said. “Listen,” I said slowly. “Emily will never take your mommy’s place, okay? I know she takes great care of you, and I know how much you love her, but your mommy is still special to you both. That won’t change.”
“I know,” Sarah said. “But Mommy is in heaven. She can’t take care of us. I think she would want someone like Emily to do it. She would really like Emily.”
“I think so too,” I said, smiling again.
“You’re happier now,” Tommy said. “Ever since Emily moved in with us, you’ve been happier. I think that’s good. You’re nicer now, and you smile more. If Emily is the reason, then you should date her or marry her or whatever you want.”
“Thank you, Tommy,” I said. My eyes were filling again, and I blinked hard to dry them.
“Are you going to marry her?” Sarah asked.
I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came out. The truth was, I loved the idea of marrying Emily, but it was too soon to think about those things. She and I only admitted our feelings last night. Still, it was a nice thought. I smiled as I thought about Emily walking toward me wearing a white dress, her hair tied up beautifully. I could already see the veil extending out behind her, and just the image was enough to excite me.
“Maybe someday,” I said softly. “If she wants to marry me.”
“She will,” Sarah said firmly. “I know it.”
“How can you be so sure?” I asked.
“Because, if you’re nice, then she’ll marry you,” Sarah said. “That’s how it works.”
“No, it’s not,” Tommy said with a roll of his eyes. “She has to love him, Sarah. God, you don’t know anything.”
“I do too!” Sarah screamed. “You’re stupid!”
“Stop it,” I said with a sigh. “Let’s head home.”
I laughed to myself as we made our way back down the street. Our house wasn’t far, but Tommy and Sarah made the walk seem endless with their constant bickering. When we finally made it to the front door, I silenced them both with a look and pushed the door open. We stepped inside to see Emily sitting on the couch.
She looked over at us with a smile that took my breath away. Her long, dark curls hung loosely over her shoulders. They were wet so I knew she only just got out of the shower. She was wearing a pair of yoga pants that hugged her body and a T-shirt that was a little too small. I grinned at her and walked over, eager to kiss her.
I leaned down to kiss her, but she pulled away quickly, glancing frantically at the kids.
“It’s okay,” Tommy said. “You can kiss him. He told us you like him.”
“Oh, he did?” Emily asked with a laugh. She looked at me with raised eyebrows, and I just shrugged.
“Yeah,” Sarah said. “We don’t care if you kiss, just don’t make it a habit.”
Emily and I both laughed before we leaned together for a light kiss. The kids both grinned and then went about their business, playing games and ignoring us.
We spent the rest of the day playing together, eating lunch and then dinner. At night, we all curled up on the couch under one big blanket and watched a movie. We shared a bowl of popcorn and laughed some more. Tommy and Sarah both fell asleep before the movie was half over, but Emily and I stayed there for hours, just holding the kids and each other. It felt so safe under that blanket that neither of us ever wanted to move.
EPILOGUE - EMILY
Sean’s book tour started a month ago, and finally the kids and I were able to join him. He tried to plan the tour over summer break, but they insisted on starting it during the month of May. It was hard, but we managed to make it work.
I stayed in Telluride to take care of Tommy and Sarah while Sean started his tour on the west coast. On weekends, I flew Tommy and Sarah out to see him, and sometimes, when he had enough time, he came home to spend the day with us. It was difficult, but now summer vacation was upon us.
I packed up the kids and my luggage, and Janie drove us to the airport. We were meeting Sean in Chicago that morning. He already had three events booked for today, and the kids and I would meet him at the second. His agent had everything set up: our car, our hotel, everything.
I was so excited as I got the kids situated in their seats and stowed our bags away above us. When I sat down, I tapped my fingers against my knee until the flight took off. I was so impatient to see Sean that I could barely sit still throughout the entire flight.
We landed in Chicago right on time. Tommy and Sarah both jumped out of their seats with excitement. I followed right behind them as we all hurried through the airport. At baggage claim, a man was waiting for us with a sign that said, “Sean Evans’s guests.” The three of us felt like VIPs as we headed outside and were loaded into a black car. The driver threw our luggage in the trunk and then drove through the city of Chicago. It took an hour for us to reach our destination, but when we did, we were all speechless.
Sean’s second event of the day was at a college campus. He was giving a speech to a class full of undergrads, all pursuing the art of children’s books. They were aspiring writers who hoped to learn from someone successful. The campus was beautiful, and I couldn’t stop looking around as the driver drove us closer to the building. When we pulled up to the front, Sean’s agent was waiting for us right outside. She waved and smiled brightly, running over to open the door and let us out.
“What about our bags?” I asked as the driver suddenly drove away.
“He’ll take them to the hotel,” Anne Marie, Sean’s agent, said. “They’ll be waiting for you tonight.”
“Okay,” I said with a nod.
“He’s right inside,” Anne Marie said.
She led us through the front door of a tall building. We followed her down a few hallways and up a flight of stairs until we reached the entrance to a classroom. Sarah was vibrating with excitement as she jumped around, trying to catch a glimpse of her dad. Tommy was doing the same, but he kept stopping himself, as if he wanted to appear older, more mature.
“Where is he?” Sarah complained after a few minutes. “I don’t see him.”
“He’s in there,” Anne Marie said. “We’re going to wait until everyone is seated, and then we’ll sneak you guys in the back. Remember, this is really important so we have to be quiet, okay?”
“We can’t say hi to Daddy?” Sarah asked. “But we haven’t seen him in so long.”
“You’ll be able to see him right after the event,” Anne Marie said. “It won’t last long. Only an hour at the most.”
“An hour?” Sarah whined, and I bent down to talk to her face to face.
“It’ll be fine,” I said. “Just think, you’ve gone weeks without seeing him, and now, he’s right inside that door.”
Sarah smiled and tried to remain calm. When we could finally go into the classroom, we were ushered into three seats at the very back. I could see Sean standing at the front of the classroom, his eyes focused on the notes in front of him. A smile spread across my face when he finally looked up and his eyes fell on us. He waved, and the kids waved back, practically jumping out of their seats.
I’d never been prouder of Sean as I sat there and listened to his speech. He said so many wise, intelligent things about the art of writing children’s books. My mind was racing with his every word, but what was most impressive was how many applauded him for choosing such a difficult subject.
“You know,” he said after someone brought it up. “Just over two years ago, my kids lost their mother. She died from cancer, and it shook all of us deeply. But they were both so young that there wasn’t much I could say to comfort them. They barely
understood what happened, and because of that, I felt lost and hopeless. My own emotions were nothing compared to theirs, and I found myself wishing for a way to break through to them. About a year later, I thought of an idea for a book. It was hard at first. Writing didn’t come easily to me, and I had to push myself a lot. I had the support of so many amazing people though, and eventually, it worked. I wrote the book, and well, here we are now.”
The room erupted in applause, and I joined in, slamming my hands together frantically. Just listening to Sean talk was enough to make my heart race. As I watched him finish out the class, I became more desperate to be near him. I hadn’t felt his lips against mine in far too long, and when we were finally able to walk over to him, I threw myself at him with desperation.
He laughed and caught me, kissing me quickly before turning to greet the kids. Tommy and Sarah both erupted in stories they just had to tell him. It took hours for them to quiet down enough for me to get a word in, but I didn’t mind. I was just happy to be there with Sean, in Chicago, while he lived out his dream.
***
That night, we were all exhausted but starving. Sean had made us a reservation at a fancy restaurant across town, but none of us were up for it. Instead, we went downstairs to the hotel restaurant and ordered dinner. Tommy and Sarah were both surprisingly wide awake throughout the entire meal. I expected them to be falling asleep in their soup bowls, but they weren’t. They kept glancing at Sean nervously.
As we ordered our dessert and talked about the rest of Sean’s tour, I found myself waking up a bit too. There was so much excitement in the air around us that my exhaustion faded from my body. I laughed and talked with Sean and the kids for what felt like hours, until finally it was almost time to head upstairs.
“It’s getting late,” I said sadly. “We should probably get them to bed.”
“Not just yet,” Sean said with a smile. “There are a few things I want to say to you first.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. “Is everything okay?”