His face calmed after a minute.
‘Now this charming interlude is over, we’ll return to the real world. You’ve heard how upset your daughter is. She’s such a delicate thing, if I remember correctly. My friend, Mr White from the EUS, took those photographs for me. He passes on his regards, by the way.’
‘White? Who’s he?’
‘You met him in Berlin.’
It came back to me; White was the EUS government spook who’d pumped me for information about Severina and whether her government was stable while supplying me with constant martinis.
‘He’s keeping an eye on Marina as part of his study of William Brown. You see, his government is very interested in Brown Industries. Unfortunately, your daughter’s husband seems completely uninterested in them. Perhaps I should suggest they try to cultivate Marina and exert pressure through her?’
‘No! Leave her alone. She’s an innocent.’
‘Well, that would be entirely in your hands.’
‘You can’t mean that.’ I heard my voice shaking. I started trembling. A noise filled my ears and rushed through my head. I lost my balance. The blackness rushed up. Gone.
XXXII
Cool and wet, lavender. Somebody was dabbing my forehead. I looked up. Drusilla.
‘Welcome back, domina.’
‘What happened?’
‘You fainted. Well, that’s what the first consul said.’ Her face carried a disapproving look.
I grabbed her wrist. ‘Where is he?’
‘In the atrium.’
I released my breath then looked around. High ceiling and rich blue curtains, and a bed with soft cotton sheets. This wasn’t the under-housekeeper’s room. ‘Where in Hades am I?’
‘In one of the first floor guestrooms.’ She looked away. ‘He brought you here, then called me. I have to tell him when you’re awake, but first you must eat.’ She handed me a plate of fresh sandwiches and salad.
‘I’m not hungry.’
‘You’ve been living on coffee and tension. And very little sleep. You must keep your strength up if you’re to survive.’ She watched me as I ate. When I’d finished, she pressed my hand, then left.
I pulled myself up onto my elbows. My head spun. The penalty of not eating properly for days. Drusilla had left a glass of fruit drink. I devoured it in two swallows. I pulled the covers back and swung my legs down so I could sit on the edge of the bed. I took a deep breath and stood up. Wobbly, but not falling, I made my way to the door, turned the handle and pulled. Locked. The Furies scourge him and his to a long and painful death.
I tottered back to the bed, lay down, wept then slept.
*
The door was still locked next morning. If I’d had my old lock pick set, I would have been through it in moments. I washed in the bathroom, then sat down at the small table and waited. In a funny way I felt energised, and clearer in my mind. Probably the result of a full night’s sleep.
After an hour, the door opened to show a guard and admit one of the kitchen staff with a tray of coffee, olives, rolls and honey. I thanked her, but she said nothing and left. What was going on? Why was I in this room?
After my breakfast, I went to the window and discovered I was on the first floor to the right of the entrance portico. Unlike the domestic hall which was at semi-basement level in the heart of the house, with nats guards and troopers everywhere, I was on the outside wall. I knew about the handholds built down the concealed vertical recess at the side of the portico. They were for maintenance; I’d climbed them several times for fun when I was younger. I could get out of the palace. I could escape from Caius. My heart thudded. But I needed my walking clothes and boots if I was going to go cross-country in October to the border and through the mountain passes.
I had to ensure I kept this room, whatever it took. Then I would start acquiring my supplies. Drusilla would know what happened to my clothes on that first night.
Caius must have been bluffing yesterday about the threats to Marina, my logical mind told me. He couldn’t possibly have such a reach. Besides, William would ensure she was protected. Caius had mentioned White, stationed at the Berlin EUS embassy when I was investigating the silver smuggling nearly fifteen years ago. Had Caius met him in Washington when he’d been there just before the night of the fires? I hadn’t heard any American accents here. But then I’d hardly seen anybody apart from at that humiliating reception, and they were all Roma Novans.
After I’d searched the room for listening bugs, I rifled through the drawers and built-in wardrobes. Their white surfaces and raised gold decorations looked so serene and elegant but they yielded nothing except blankets, pillows and towels. But in the bureau by the window I found writing paper and a fountain pen that worked.
My darling Marina,
I was devastated to read you had lost your baby. I am so sorry. My dearest wish is to take you in my arms and comfort you.
Many years ago, this happened to me. I was consumed by rage and grief, but foremost by a sense of failure. The child had been conceived in love, a deep love. I wanted to turn my face to the wall and go into the shades. But your grandmother’s friend, Justina, pulled me out of it. Nature is a harsh mistress and sometimes she intervenes for no good reason we can think of at the time.
You are young and will carry another, and a healthy, baby to term. But now you must rest and not allow yourself to give way to depression, or indeed obsession. Be kind to yourself, spoil yourself, indulge.
Life is not always as it should be, but William must, and I’m sure will, protect you from the harshness and sometimes danger that surrounds us.
You will never forget that lost little life that never was, but catch your breath and look forward to the time when a new child comes into your and William’s lives.
My fondest love,
Mama
I slipped the letter into an envelope, addressed it and tucked it into my waist pouch. Perhaps I could persuade Drusilla to smuggle it out. No doubt the post was subject to strict censorship now, but I hoped my warning would get through. I could see Marina reading it, puzzled at my penultimate sentence and wrinkling her nose, then passing my letter to her husband. William Brown was no fool and would take appropriate action to increase protection around her.
More food arrived, chicken and vegetables, and a large jug of water. Looking towards the satiny ball of the sun behind the clouds, I calculated it must have been between one and two. With nothing to do afterwards, and no summons, I took a nap.
*
A tingle spread across the skin of my face, into my neck and down through my body. Fingers brushed my cheekbone, my jaw and chin touching every pleasure nerve on the way. When the fingertips caressed the hollow of my throat and skimmed the rise of my breast, the nerves exploded and I moaned. A wonderful dream. Pure sensation. I caught my breath. Miklós, you are with me even in this hell.
I fought against waking up. Lips were nuzzling my neck. I was nearly overwhelmed by a cloud of jasmine and citrus and the scent of a warm, masculine body. Jasmine? Miklós would never wear that. My mind was confused. I snapped my eyes open and found Caius on top of me.
‘What are you doing? Get off,’ I shrieked.
He grasped each of my wrists. ‘No, you’re enjoying it too much.’
I wrenched my head from side to side and bucked my body to try to push him off. His grip on my wrists so hard my fingers couldn’t move. He was so heavy I couldn’t even bring my knee up.
‘Stop fighting it, Aurelia. Just for once in your life, give in.’
‘No, you will not do this to me.’
‘I will do what I want.’
I spat in his face, but he just laughed and drove into my body. I forced myself to relax as he thrust. He moaned in some kind of perverted pleasure. I lay back and waited for it to be over.
*
I couldn�
��t feel my body. I didn’t want to; it no longer belonged to me.
He sat at the delicate bureau and was staring through the gauze that shielded the window. He wore a patterned silk dressing gown with gold lapels and was sipping a glass of whisky, his face expressionless. From the side, and highlighted by the outside light, the scar from the punch when I’d floored him that time stood out, distorting his mouth. His mouth. Oh, gods.
I buried myself under the sheets, anything to blot out what had happened last night. I trembled with rage. At this exact moment, I wanted to kill Caius, to beat and slash him until he was a bloody heap at my feet. But Phobius would take over and exact an excruciating revenge. I wanted to escape and live. I had to calm down.
The sheets were pulled back and he sat down on the bed.
‘What a passionate creature you are, Aurelia.’ He stroked my hairline. I jerked away from his hand, repelled that this creature had touched me so intimately. ‘Not only in your loyalty and love for Roma Nova and your daughter, but as a bed partner you are outstanding.’
‘Shut up! Shut up!’
‘That’s no way to greet your lover.’
‘You are not my lover.’
He laughed. ‘You don’t know yourself very well, do you?’
‘What do you want, Caius?’
‘Something I’ve been refused all my life.’
‘What?’
He looked away, as if stretching back into his memory.
‘You.’ He looked back at me, his eyes shining, not with hate, but like a child anticipating a great treat. ‘Oh, not the wilful hoyden dressed up in a military uniform, nor the stroppy madam in the Families Council, but the true woman underneath. A strong one who would be a proper companion for an ambitious man, who would stand with him, supporting him.’
‘You wanted to kill me in Berlin.’
‘You were blocking my plans. I realised afterwards that I couldn’t crush you. You were made of stronger steel than I thought. So I had to catch you, then bend you. You would see then what we could achieve together.’
He was mad.
He stroked the side of my neck, as a lover would. I steeled myself not to flinch, but failed. He stopped, his fingers just on my carotid, and brought his thumb round to my throat. I stayed completely still. One hard press from those strong fingers and I’d be gone.
‘But at present, you are far too impulsive and prone to meddle in affairs. You need to learn boundaries and proper behaviour if you are to be part of Roma Nova in the future. So your training continues.’
‘You used my comrades’ lives to coerce me and now you are threatening my daughter.’
‘Your comrades have gone into exile, and you have learned a lesson in humility.’
‘Humiliation, you mean.’
He didn’t reply.
‘You do not love me or even like me. Why are you doing this to me?’
‘I possess you. That is enough.’
*
I waited until he had left. I scrubbed myself mercilessly, despising the body that had been violated. I hated that it had been the instrument of my worst humiliation.
When I was red raw enough, I reached for yesterday’s tunics and dressed quickly. I tried the bedroom door. Not locked. I tugged the door open. No guard in the corridor. I went to see Drusilla, ostensibly to collect my change of clothes from the under-housekeeper’s room, but in fact to question her about my outdoor wear.
I was relieved Caius wasn’t in the atrium. My cheeks burned and I shuddered as I remembered the night. I couldn’t face him. To my surprise, the guard by the doors opened one for me. I stalked along the corridor then down the service stairs to the domestic hall. Two girls counting cutlery on a service table stopped chattering, handfuls of knives and forks silenced mid-air. They pressed themselves against the wall. I glanced back. They were watching me as I walked on down the corridor. I knocked on Drusilla’s room door and entered. She glanced up then stood immediately.
‘Domina.’ Then she bowed her head. She had never done that before, not even in Severina’s time.
‘Drusilla?’
‘What service can I do for you, domina?’
‘For a start, you can stop calling me domina with every sentence you speak.’
‘As you wish.’
What was wrong with her? She moved and talked like an automaton.
‘Are you well?’ I tried.
‘Yes, thank you. How can I help you?’
I sensed an edge behind the formality. And tension. She glanced towards the open door. I turned and shut it. Now we were alone, I glanced round. Was she nervous because concealed microphones had been installed? Unlikely in the housekeeper’s room, but I’d put nothing beyond Caius. Nothing had changed position on the shelves or on her desk, nor had any new ‘ornaments’ appeared since I’d last been here.
‘Now, sit down and tell me what’s going on.’
She twisted her hands together and looked down at her housekeeper’s record book. When she raised her eyes again they searched my face, as if trying to reach a decision.
I tore a piece of paper off a memo pad and scribbled, Are they listening in? She stared at the message, then shook her head.
‘Drusilla, whatever it is worrying you, you can speak in confidence. You are my friend and friends don’t blab on each other.’
‘It’s about you,’ she blurted out. ‘Can I really trust you not to go running to the first consul?’
‘Juno save me! He’s the last person on this earth I would tell anything useful or confidential. All he’s done since they caught me and brought me here is humiliate and abuse me. My dearest wish is to escape. That’s why I’m here. I need walking clothes and boots. Can you get hold of any for me?’
‘But—’ Her eyes narrowed, pulling her face into a frown. ‘You don’t know about this morning’s orders, do you?’
A sense of dread crept over me. What had he done now?
‘The whole staff is to treat you with utmost respect as the first consul’s official companion. You are to be addressed as domina at all times. Any infringement is to be reported to Representative Phobius who will discipline as appropriate,’ she said in a flat voice.
*
‘Why have you done this?’ I flung the notice down on his desk. ‘I’m not your “companion”, whatever the Hades that is.’
‘Be calm,’ he said.
‘I will not.’
He turned a photo frame towards me. It contained one of the black and white pictures of Marina he’d showed me yesterday. I could see her tears despite the blurred outlines. ‘This may help you,’ he said.
I took a deep breath. ‘I am sure you mean it as some kind of honour,’ I winced at my hypocritical words, ‘but I do not wish my title and status returned to me on your orders.’
‘I am returning nothing to you. Your status and authority only come through me.’
‘No wonder they looked at me with such terror this morning.’
‘Terror, perhaps. Respect, certainly. That is all I require. And you should remember that.’ His eyes seemed to take on a greener tint chasing out the amber. ‘You pleased me last night, more than I thought possible. Perhaps you are starting to adapt. This,’ he touched the notice, ‘is a small reward.’
How dared he treat me like some paid sex worker? I wanted to rip his tongue out. No, I wanted to kill him. One chop to the bridge of his nose then a hard blow to his temple. He’d be finished. But so would I. But should I ignore what would happen to me and do it for Roma Nova?
As I raged inside, he smiled at me as if he could read what I was feeling. He was relentless. Granting me this new status, he had eroded my public image and isolated me even further from those who could be my allies. Like Drusilla, they would worry about trusting me and play safe.
‘You will prove yourself useful by running thi
s house,’ he continued. ‘Its organisation is lamentable.’
I suspected that apart from the cook, the reduced household staff was exerting wilful insolence and non-cooperation. In Justina’s time and even in Severina’s, the palace domestic system had run ultra efficiently.
He reached for his diary. ‘Next, the day after tomorrow, you will be at my side at the reception for the foreign diplomatic corps. You will wear formal dress – palla and stola. You will not give any opinions, merely be polite and deferential to our guests.’
‘That’s ridiculous. I’ve worked with most of them first-hand on complex and delicate matters and know many on first-name terms. I am still the legally appointed foreign minister. You can’t expect me to suddenly become a stuffed doll you parade for your political ends.’
‘A simplistic way of putting it, but that’s exactly what I mean. You would do well to be less proud. And you are no longer foreign minister.’
I turned my back on him and stalked towards the door.
‘Aurelia.’ His voice vibrated with menace. I stopped. ‘I have not dismissed you,’ he said. What a child, but a lethal one. And one determined to control me. I had to comply for the moment as I worked out the details of my escape plan, but in my heart, my hatred for him grew. With his personal strength and intelligence, he could have given so much to Roma Nova. Now he was destroying everything precious in it, spreading the canker through others. I had to remove myself from the tyranny of being his creature whether I was ready or not or I would go mad.
XXXIII
I heard the shouting from the top of the stairs leading down to the domestic hall; Drusilla protesting, and the bullying tones of the cook.
‘…and if you can’t keep those bloody girls in order, I’ll whip them myself. They won’t forget that in a hurry.’
‘They spilt one jug of water and chipped a glass. A nuisance, to be sure, but not enough for a punishment. And that would be the responsibility of housekeeping. That is not in your remit.’
‘Remit? I spit on your remit.’ And I heard the sound of him hawking. ‘Now clear that up.’
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