by Emma Hart
“Okay, if you’re gonna complain about it all night, I’m gonna have no problem pretending to be your girlfriend. I’ll be rolling my eyes like it’s my job.”
He caught the door as he followed me out and smirked. “Well, that’s how we’re gonna do this. I’ll complain, you roll your eyes, and everyone will believe this is a real relationship.”
I rolled my eyes.
“That. Do that all night.” He grinned and led me to his car, where he hit the button on his key fob and opened the passenger-side door for me. “That’ll sell it.”
I didn’t want to roll my eyes again, but… I was going to have one hell of a headache by the end of the night at this rate.
“Maybe we can try something a little less headache-inducing,” I said as he joined me on the driver side. “What kind of girlfriend would you like me to be? A simpering thing who hangs off your arm and laughs at everything? An independent woman who can do everything but buy her own drinks? I’ll warn you now; I’m a terrible actress. Not even my elementary school productions wanted me.”
He laughed as he pulled out of the parking space. “Just…be yourself,” he said slowly. “How would you normally act around a boyfriend?”
“No idea. I’ve been responsible for my own orgasms for at least three years.”
“I’d offer to help with that, but we just met, and after that much practice, you’re probably far better at pleasing yourself than I would be.”
Ha! “I can’t decide if you’re being honest or trying to convince me to let you try.”
“Would I be an honest man if I said you were onto something with the last part of your sentence?”
“Yes, but as you said, we just met. And I’m only your fake girlfriend. Honestly, if you got me into bed, you might not let me out. That’d mess with this deception.”
Mason laughed. “You think a lot about your bedroom skills, don’t you?”
“Oh, I don’t think anything. I know I’m great in bed. I’ve been the only one in mine that’s been able to do anything right for years.”
He banged a fist against his chest. “Well, of all the fake girlfriends I could have found, I’m glad it’s you. Can you use some of that confidence to tell everyone how good in bed I am?”
“Why? Are you trying to pull someone? Jesus, way to dent my confidence.” I flicked my hair over my shoulder and looked at him. “Is that how you treat your fake girlfriend?”
He quickly met my eyes. “You’re something else. Do you know that?”
“Something else? What does that mean?” I paused. “If you mean a total delight, hilarious, a pleasure to be around, then you’re right. Anything else, you’re wrong, and we’re going into this reunion on the tail end of a fight.”
“Hey, at least that would be realistic.”
“Yes, that’s how you get under your ex’s skin. You show up mid-fight with your fake girlfriend.”
He burst into laughter and pulled up at the intersection. “Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?”
I met his eyes. My only response was to laugh into my hand because he was so right. This entire situation was ridiculous, to be honest, but we had to make the best of it.
“Okay, if we’re going to do this, we need to have our stories straight if we’re going to pull this off,” I said. “The problem is that my co-worker who I swapped shifts with thinks this is a date, so I need to clue her in just in case she says something.”
“Right. We should go for a simple story.” He put on the blinker and turned. “We can say we met online.”
“Makes sense. App? Facebook? How?”
He grunted. “App?”
“Tinder? Two months ago?”
“That works.”
“Perfect.” I clapped my hands. “Now, what does your ex look like?”
“Doesn’t matter. Knowing Claudia, she’ll make an entrance.” Mason made the turn to The Beachside. “She’s dating her boss now, and he’s not exactly broke. She’ll make a fuss.”
Great. I was here to show up a diva. “Ugh. I’m the least dramatic person in the world.”
“I don’t know. You were pretty dramatic over my need for chicken wings.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I rolled my eyes.
He put the car in park and grinned. “You really do have the exasperated girlfriend thing down. Are you sure we can’t go in in the middle of a fight?”
“Mason, no. I can’t pretend to both love you and be mad at you. Jesus.”
“A little more of that—”
“No.” I laughed.
“Okay.” He sighed. “Let’s get this over with. How long do we have to stay?”
I got out of the car and shrugged. “Long enough for your ex to turn up and me to piss her off?”
He locked the car and rolled his shoulders. “I’m going to kill my sister for this shit.”
“Mason!” A voice boomed across the parking lot.
He looked over his shoulder. “Shit—that’s Trevor. He knows about this, just so you know.”
“Oh, good. I don’t have to act for another few minutes.” I joined him at the back of his car as he greeted his friend.
Trevor was a little shorter than Mason but just as good-looking. Where were all these hot guys when I was actually looking for a date?
“Trev, this is Lauren. Lauren, this is Trevor.” Mason waved between us.
Trevor looked me up and down with light brown eyes. “Well, shit, if you need a fake girlfriend…” He met my gaze, smirking. “It’s a pleasure.”
I smiled. “Nice to meet you.”
He looked at Mason. “She’s hotter than Claudia. She’s going to flip her shit.”
Mason shrugged. “That’s her problem.” He looked at me. “You ready to go in?”
Nodding, I took the arm he offered me by wrapping my hand around the crook of his elbow. We walked toward the main doors of the bar with Trevor leading us in. He pushed open the door, holding it for us.
The second I stepped in, I immediately felt eyes on me. I knew exactly where they were coming from, and that was old Mr. Hennington at his usual spot at the bar.
He clutched a wrinkled, weathered hand to his face. “Lauren. You wound me.”
I laughed. “Mr. Hennington, we’ve talked about this. Mrs. Lawrence would be devastated if we went out. I can’t do that to her!”
“Oh, psh!” He waved his hand. “I’ve told you that she doesn’t need to know about us.”
“Stop tempting me.” I wiggled my finger at him. “I’m not working tonight, and if you carry on with that, there’s no telling what I’d do with you.”
He chuckled, rocking his head side to side. “I don’t think I’d survive the night, my darlin’.”
I winked at him, waving at Pete behind the bar. “Exactly. Hey, Pete, is Stella out the back?”
My boss nodded, cleaning a glass out. “Yep. And she’s gonna want to talk to you.” He looked pointedly at both Mason and Trevor.
“Oh, Pete, this is Mason, and this is Trevor. Guys, this is my boss and the owner of The Beachside, Pete.”
“The owner?” Mason shook his hand when he leaned over the bar. “Do you know you seriously lack in chicken wings on your menu?”
“Fucking chicken wings,” Trev murmured.
I laughed, leaning into Mason’s arm to mask it. It seemed he felt the same way I did, and I’d bet he’d heard a hell of a lot more about it than I had.
“I happen to agree with you, son,” Pete said. “Let me get the missus, and you can tell her. She’s in charge of the food.” He nodded toward the door that led to the kitchen. “Maybe she’ll listen to someone who’ll buy them. Until then, your party showed up early.”
I nodded. “Come on,” I said to both guys. “Let’s go.”
Here goes nothing.
CHAPTER FIVE – MASON
Shit the fucking bed, she was stunning.
That was all I could think as she stood over at the end of the bar, talking to the busty young woman on t
he other side of it. Lauren laughed, throwing her head back so her dark hair fell down her back in a shiny wave.
There was something about the bright pink of her dress that set off her gentle tan. It hung to just above her knees, and for my own sanity, I had to stop thinking about flipping the damn thing up and her over.
I rubbed my hand down my face and leaned against the wall. Trev came up beside me, holding out a beer. I curled my fingers around the neck of the ice-cold bottle and, with a nod of thanks, took a deep pull of beer.
“How the fuck,” Trev started, “Did she come out of an online ad?”
I shook my head. “Dunno. She only put it up for a joke because her friends and sister made her.”
“At least you have something in common. Doing shit because your sister makes you.”
I snorted and wiped my mouth. “No shit. That’s the reason I’m here in the first place.”
“She’s hot enough to turn a fake date to a real one, though.”
“I’m not interested in dating anyone right now. You know that.” I swigged again.
“Are you telling me she doesn’t change your mind?” He pointed in her direction before I slapped his hand down. “She’d change my fucking mind. Hell, I want to date her. Can I have her if you don’t want her?”
“Can you have her? Fucking hell, Trev, she’s not a leftover slice of cake.”
He grinned. “Yeah, but could you imagine if she was?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t going to go down whatever road he was steering me toward.
Yes, Lauren was hot as fuck. Yes, she was the kind of girl I could see myself taking out again.
No, I wasn’t going to make this fake date real.
I wasn’t ready to date anyone. That wasn’t me being a salty asshole because of Claudia, but it was the truth. I was happy the way I was right now.
No matter how attracted I was to Lauren Green.
Maybe a one-night stand was an option. Maybe she’d be in agreement with that. After all, that benefitted us both.
Shit, no—what was I thinking? I couldn’t walk up to the woman and say, “Hey, I don’t want to see you again, but let’s fuck.”
Jesus Christ.
I was spending too much time around Trevor.
Lauren laughed, picking up her wine glass from the bar, and touched the arm of the girl behind the bar. She skirted the outside of the room as she made her way over to me and sidled up next to me.
“Sorry about that,” she said quietly. “This was supposed to be my shift and, well, Stella’s a nosy bitch.”
I may have met her anyway? Fucking hell. The sad part was I probably wouldn’t have paid the blindest bit of attention to her if she were behind the bar.
Shit, it didn’t matter what attention I paid to her.
We were pretending. This wasn’t a real date. This was her…well, I still wasn’t sure what the hell either of us were doing with this stupid arrangement, but I was mostly getting Kirsty off my back at this point.
“No worries.” I stood a little straighter. “We don’t have to stay long.”
Lauren shrugged one shoulder. “It’s your reunion. I’m just here to look pretty.”
“And you’re doing an awesome job of it,” Trev input. “Now, talk to me about Stella. Is she single?”
I pressed my fingers into my temples. Trev was my best friend, but my God, the guy thought with his dick a little too often.
Lauren touched her fingertips to her mouth as she bit back a laugh. “She’s single,” she confirmed. “But she’ll eat you for breakfast.”
“I don’t mind being breakfast. I’ll be lunch and dinner, too, if she’ll let me.”
This time, she didn’t hide her laugh. “Oh, my God. That line is awful.”
“It’s not a line. It’s the truth.”
She looked at me. “He’s joking, right?”
Grimacing, I met her eyes. “I wish I could say he was. He’s what kids today call a fuckboy.”
“It’s not just the kids. He’s definitely a fuckboy.”
My lips twitched. “Really? My sister just calls him a cu—”
“Incoming, three o’clock.” Trev interrupted me, giving me a nudge with his elbow.
I knew what I’d see before I turned my head.
Claudia.
She strolled through the door on the arm of her boss. Her long, blond hair was curled over one shoulder and hung to almost her waist in curls. The black dress she wore hugged her body from the neck to her knees, and she carried a clearly expensive purse that was slung over her shoulder.
Her dark blue eyes scanned the room at the same time Lauren tucked herself beneath my arm and pressed her body against mine. Her fingers grazed my hip as she looped her arm around my waist. “Is that your ex?”
She’d clearly heard Trev’s interruption. Not that it was hard. The dead could hear Trevor.
“Yeah,” I said, loosely resting my arm over her shoulders. “That’s Claudia.”
“And her boss.” Trev coughed into his hand.
Lauren brought her fingers to her mouth. “Really? That’s her boss?”
I glanced at the man who had at least twenty years on us, as evidenced by his gray-dotted beard. “Yeah. She’s a paralegal, and he owns the law firm where she works. I, uh, got a front-row seat to that little show.”
Her eyes widened as my meaning caught on. “Oh, shit. Do you think she’ll come over here?”
“Yes,” I said honestly. “She’s just that kind of person.”
Lauren adjusted her body position and discreetly tugged at her dress.
“What are you doing?”
She peered up at me. “What any good fake girlfriend does. I’m adjusting my dress so my boobs look extra good.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at her. She was so nonchalant, so confident, like it didn’t bother her at all that my raging bitch of an ex was across the room.
Mind you, it probably didn’t.
There was no reason for it to bother her. She just had to act like it did. I probably should have checked on her acting ability before I agreed to do this…
Claudia’s eyes scanned the entire room yet again before they settled on me with a self-satisfied smirk. She held my gaze for a long minute before Lauren moved, apparently drawing her attention because her gaze dropped.
Lauren leaned up, bringing her mouth to my ear. “My cat would shit on her head if he saw her.”
I laughed, dropping my chin to my chest, but not before I saw the smirk disappear from Claudia’s face. “Your cat would shit on her head?”
“Yeah. Henry has an obsession with sitting on people’s head. He thinks humans are his own personal bean bag, but he’d literally use her as his litter box.”
“He sounds like an asshole.”
“A total asshole. Means he’s a good judge of character.”
“How does that make sense?”
“Because he doesn’t give a flying fuck about offending anyone.”
“He’s a cat. How can he offend anyone?”
“Have you ever had a cat sit on your head and fart?”
“I can’t say that’s something I’ve ever experienced, no.”
She nodded. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”
“Noted.” My lips twitched as I glanced up. Claudia had moved to the bar with her boss-slash-boyfriend and was deep in conversation with a girl she’d been close with in high school. Her attention kept darting this way, though, and I held her gaze for a second before I looked away.
“You all right?” Trev asked, eyes flicking toward Lauren.
I shrugged. “Honestly, I am. I don’t feel a damn thing toward her.”
“And your girlfriend is happy to hear it,” Lauren chirped. “Now, how long do we have until she inevitably comes over here and starts questioning me?”
“You’ll be fine,” I said. “We have our story straight, as long as Trev shuts his mouth.”
“Trust me,” he said dryly, lifting his beer. “The second S
atan herself comes over here, I’m going to take a leak.”
“Lovely.”
***
He didn’t have to wait long to take his piss. Whether he even needed to go or not was a question for another day, but Claudia had barely said hello to three people before Lauren prodded me in the back, making me look up.
She had her hand wrapped around the crook of her boss’ elbow, but she was the one dragging him across the room like a woman on a mission. Which she was.
A mission to make my life a living hell.
For his part, her boss looked like he’d rather be anywhere other than here. Not only walking toward us, but in the room entirely. He had at least ten years on the rest of us, and I knew Claudia well enough to know that he was here just for her to flaunt him.
God only knew the man probably had better things to do than be here. Hell, I did, and I didn’t have my own business. I only “built walls and shit,” as she’d so nicely said to me when she’d removed her legs from around his waist.
“Brace yourself,” Trev muttered. He downed the rest of his beer and stalked off without even acknowledging Claudia’s existence.
Claudia pursed her lips and flicked her hair over her shoulder. “He’s still as rude as ever, I see.”
That was a matter of opinion. “Claudia. How are you?” I asked tightly.
The smile that crept across her face was sly and self-satisfied. “Better than ever. How are you?”
“Couldn’t be better,” I replied. “Have you met Lauren?”
Claudia turned her attention to Lauren for half a second. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”
“You didn’t realize you were seeing me for a while, either, so I don’t know why you’d care about who I’m seeing now.”
Lauren twitched, bringing her glass to her lips.
“I don’t care,” Claudia said, shrugging one shoulder. “I was merely making conversation.”
“Then make it somewhere else,” I said dryly. “You’re only here to attempt to rub your relationship in my face, and since that isn’t going to work, I’m sure there’s someone else here who’ll pretend to be suitably impressed to feed your ego.”
Her expression froze before anger flashed in her eyes.