by Elle A. Rose
*
Pulling to a stop in front of the light yellow, four-story building, I cut the engine and sit. I decided last night after talking to my family it was time for me to buy a new car. As always, Christopher was none too happy with my choice to run to the Grayson’s aid again, but as he stood looming over me with red rimmed eyes, he realized that he was hurting Lisa’s feelings. Although they were engaged—only for a few hours—he still was having trouble keeping his emotions under control when it came to me. Lisa does not say much about our complex relationship, but the look in her eyes said she was kind of hoping some of it would have changed with the engagement and pending wedding. Olivia, of course encouraged me to go and Isaac offered me the use of his car. I do not plan on staying long, only long enough to get Dominick home and to see Maddie one last time, but I still decided to buy myself a new car. Wanting to make it here as soon as possible did not leave much time to shop around, so Olivia and I took a short road trip first thing this morning to find a car I could buy off the lot. I ended up finding a new Pontiac Solstice convertible. It is pearl white with a glossy finish that when hit by the light will either have a light green or light purple tint. The interior is light gray with leather seats. It is the first convertible I have ever owned. Although the sun does not affect me, I try to think about driving with my family and how much it would affect them. Everyone has their own car now, so there is less carpooling than in the past.
Leaning my head back on the headrest, I try to get my thoughts in order. What will I say to him? How will he react to seeing me? I am doing this for Lance, yet, this is one of the hardest things I will have to do. With my eyes closed, I picture my family’s faces. A smile tries to encroach upon my lips. I miss them already and it has only been a few hours since I left. Taking a deep cleansing breath, I open my eyes and step out of the car. I am unsure of the security this place has, but I do know they are not going to just let me walk in. I have decided before we call Maddie’s sheriff friend about releasing him, Dominick and I will need to have a talk.
Walking up to the side of the building, I am pleased with my choice of sneakers. I considered my normal attire of heels, but then decided against them. I was unsure of what measures I would have to take to get into the building and I did not want to ruin one of my favorite pairs of shoes. Granted, all my heels are my favorite; nonetheless, I did not want to ruin any of them. Closing my eyes, I concentrate on where Dominick is in the building. From where I am standing, there are too many humans in the structure for me to pinpoint him by his scent. It is best to find his mind and go from there. Since each mind has its own colored light beacon, it will not be long for me to find his silver with a hint of gold light shining. Ah, yes, there he is. He is on the third floor. It looks like he is in a room with a bed. He has company, three other young men. They are on the north end of the building.
Heading around to the other side of the rehab center, I need to stay out of the sight of others, it is not fully dark out. On my travels, I scout for a tree to climb that will hopefully bring me to a staircase or hallway that I can enter through. As I circle the structure I find the snow is much thicker once off the path. At the north end of the property, there is a part of the building with stairs, but there are no trees. I guess I will be climbing the wall.
Peering at the window three stories up, I locate the lock. I wrap my mind around the lock and begin to twist it open. Lifting the window, I climb in and automatically shut it. No one is in the stairwell and I do not wish to draw any attention by leaving the window open. Going to the door and listening for a second before stepping out, I check to see how many heartbeats are next to the entrance. Good, it sounds like most are a few feet away. The small window that provides a view to the hallway is covered with a dull red sheet of paper so I cannot see through it. Opening the door and stepping through the entryway, I make my way down the wall to where I saw Dominick sitting when I read his mind. As I near, his voice has becomes more defined from the other murmurs. I am happy no one is hanging out in the hallway, as I am moving too fast to be in the presence of a human.
Stopping at his door, I take a deep breath, and am automatically assaulted by Dominick's scent, a scent that I have engrained in my memory. Taking in the fragrance of nutmeg, mint, hazelnut and water lilies, my mouth aches as I push open the door. The beige painted room, with a bed and two vinyl black chairs and four young men suddenly goes quiet as I enter. I am not interested in the others, my gaze falls on Dominick's paling face. He recovers quickly and his lips pull back into a sneer.
“What do you want?”
It comes out as a sharp bark. I watch the boy closest to his right jump from the darkness of Dominick’s tone. I feel my temper rising. I have no idea why this human can extract such anger from me. Pulling my eyes from his steel gray ones, I glare at the other three beating hearts in the room. “Out! Now!” I hiss. The three warm bodies obey without a word. They move swiftly for humans towards the door. I am still standing in close proximity of the exit and the boys move very carefully around me and use great care not to bump me with the door. As they pass, I put a little suggestion in their heads to make sure they do not spread the word of my presence in the building. I would hate for Dominick to get in trouble for having a guest, especially if I change my mind and decide to leave him here.
Meeting my stare, Dominick's face grows wary. Without reading his mind, I am confident I know what he sees. My eyes are red now, I have no control over it and truthfully, I do not want any control over it. He needs to understand the severity of this situation.
“How did you get in here, Amber? And why are you here?”
He has regained control of his emotions. If I did not know any better, I would say there is a softness in his voice. His mood cannot affect me now. This is going to be a quick and easy problem to solve, then, I shall be on my way. “I’m here because your grandmother called me. Do you remember her? The woman who raised you like a son, the woman that you left to fend for herself while you went out and got drunk? Your concern should not be on how I got in here, but why I had to come.” At the mention of his grandmother, Dominick cringes. I take this for my chance to...
“Amber, I love you.”
Why does he do this? Does he think by throwing those three words out there, I will race into his arms? “No, you don’t, you’re too young to love. And I’m not the one you should be trying to love.” Standing up he, starts to walk over to me. For some reason, I cannot move. I should back away, yet my feet, my feet seem as if I am wearing cement blocks and not shoes. Taking in Dominick’s presence, I am left gawking. My anger starts to recede. It has only been a few months since I saw him, but somehow he seems older. His body is more defined. He has to be standing at six foot five. His all muscular frame looks to be close to two hundred and forty-five pounds. His olive colored skin seems as smooth as silk stretched over his body. I watch his pulse thump in his neck. Neither of his dimples are showing, but his full lips lead to a strong jaw line, which is set firm and tight. Dominick has the look of a man on a mission. Those gray eyes remind me of a calming storm and show a different side as they are focused on me as if I am the only object in the room.
Stopping a few inches from my face, he bends to meet me head on.
“Don’t tell me how I feel. I'm not too young. And I can’t help the way I feel about you.”
There is a hard tone to his voice. It is not as dark as when I entered, but it is much harder than the tone he used a moment ago when he told me he loved me. This is not the way I wanted this to go. “Dominick, listen to me.”
“No, Amber. It’s time for you to listen to me. I did what you told me to do. I tried to date girls my age. I dated them, slept with them, and broke up with them.”
Umm, okay. I do not recall telling him to sleep with girls, geesh, it has only been a few months. I wonder how many girls he is talking about. Something about that is upsetting me; however, I am not quite sure why that is.
“Do you know w
hy I broke up with all of them, Amber?”
Staring at him, my eyebrows come together to search for the answer. He must see the question turning over in my mind because he gives a menacing laugh before saying,
“Rhetorical question. I broke up with them because they weren’t you. Every time I touched them, every time I kissed them, I thought of you. It was your face I craved when I closed my eyes. It was your face I longed for when I opened my eyes.”
In some ways this saddens me. I see the hurt in his glare. In another way, a way I must ignore, it excites me.
“That’s when I decided that if I couldn’t be with you, nothing mattered.”
Leaving that last statement hanging, he straightens and walks back to his bed. With his back to me, he flops down kicking his feet up.
Still in my original spot, I take a few breaths before I speak. The air is thick in here and my mouth is aching. With not much ventilation in the room, Dominick’s aggression is starting to bring out the predator in me. All I am breathing in is Dominick. This can turn ugly at any minute if I do not get a grip. His heartbeat has slowed some now that we are not facing each other. I need to take this at a different approach.
“Can you clarify what you mean by nothing matters?”
My temper rages when he does not respond. I need to keep my calm. “Dominick, how does the way you think you feel about me bring you to this point? What about your grandmother? You know her health is failing, and she needs you. You being here is not helping her.” Still nothing. Sighing, I begin to glide closer. Coming around to the other end of his bed, I find he has his eyes closed. I hope he heard me moving. I do not want to scare him. Reaching over, I gently touch his leg. His eyes open and for just a second, we do nothing more than stare. He breaks eye contact first.
Dominick sits up in the bed and his sight sweeps over me before he speaks, “Is it because you’re a vampire?”
My body begins to slowly slip down towards the edge of the bed, Dominick has no choice but to move his feet.
“Amber, are you okay?”
I am not quite sure what happened, but I feel as if I just stepped out of a wind tunnel. A noise rushes in my ears like the sound that Maddie’s oxygen tank made while we were on the phone.
“Amber?”
Dominick shakes me, hard and I hone my sight back into the present. “How did-when did-who. I mean where would you come up with such a thing?” Chuckling softly, I attempt to downplay my reaction. Thankfully, I am not human. I wager if I was, I would be sweating right now. I notice Dominick is not fooled. He is staring at the floor and not me.
“You don’t have to hide it. I’ve known for some time. Well, it was just more recently confirmed in my mind, but I had my suspicions for years.”
I must have a look of confusion on my face. How could he have suspected anything, and for years? He is only a child. How could I have missed it?
“Along with the photo I showed you, I also found letters. They were all hand written by my grandfather and all addressed to you. I’m assuming that since my grandmother never knew where you lived, than he must not have either, otherwise, he probably would have sent the letters off instead of storing them in the cubbyhole in the back of my closet.”
Lance wrote me letters? “What kind of letters? What did they say?”
Dominick sighs, still not meeting my gaze and says, “There was a letter for every birthday that passed since you left. And there were a few that were walks down memory lane. Some seemed to be written when he and my grandmother would have a disagreement about something. Those seemed more like him talking his thoughts out, and asking you what to do to make things right with grandma. The rest were just about something unusual that went on that day or week.”
I close my eyes. As I do, his warm fingers lightly move a strand of my hair from my face. My eyes pop open and his hand stops mid-stroke. Dominick’s granite-gray eyes seem to be reading my inner thoughts.
“Oh, don’t be upset with him, Amber. It’s quite impressive. There are three hundred and seventeen letters all written to you. I’m sure he would've written more, but it appeared that with his health failing, he stopped about a year and a half before his death.”
This was said so calmly, as if none of this is important, as if he is talking about an everyday occurrence. I begin to stand but Dominick’s hand moves to my wrist to try to hold me in place. I glance to where his hand rests on my arm, he too looks. I watch the realization come into his eyes and he lets go.
“So, you understand then why the feelings you have for me cannot be possible, correct?”
I need to get my mind off of those letters. Once I return Dominick home where he belongs, I will pull the information from his mind of where the letters are being stored, and when I leave, I will take them with me.
“Don’t you get it, Amber? The feelings I have are possible, and deep down I think you have the same feelings for me. That’s why you keep trying to run away.” He pauses, and runs his hand through his wavy hair. His hair has grown and the small curls quickly wrap and unwrap around his fingers as he rakes his hand through them. He lets out a sigh and then continues, “I don’t take those letters as some omen to stay away from you. I took them as a guide to get to know you better, and to see why you were brought into my life. I don't get why you don’t grasp it, but everything around you seems to come to life when you walk into a room. You are one of the most thoughtful and caring people I have ever met. Also, you’re the most beautiful woman to ever grace this planet. You’re encased in a happiness that most would kill to just be able to get a glimpse of in one lifetime...”
“No, No, NO! Don't you understand? I'm a monster!” Jumping up, I move before he can reach out to touch me again. He wants to see what I really am, then, I am going to show him. Before he realizes it, I am across the room, traveling at such a fast speed his human eyes could not detect the movement.
Searching to see where I disappeared to, he finds me on the other side of the room near the door.
“Why do you run whenever someone wants to get close?”
Taking slow and steady breaths, I refuse to answer him.
“My grandfather trusted you, he trusted you as far as to wanting you to get to know us. The way I see it, if it was meant to be between you and him, then I wouldn't be sitting here right now. You and I wouldn't be having this discussion because my grandfather wouldn't have married my grandmother and they wouldn’t have had kids and there would be no me. Somehow, all of that happened and now here we are.”
Getting up from the bed, Dominick approaches me at a slow predatory pace. Once again, I cannot move my feet. To make matters worse, I have backed myself in a corner. I am a vampire, this should not be happening to me. Should I not be the one stalking my prey? Why do I feel like the deer caught in the headlights? I hear his heartbeat. It is not elevated; however, I do believe mine is beating faster. How can this be? Dominick’s huge frame stops in front of me as he raises his hand and cups my face.
Meeting my stare with his granite grays, my body begins to relax. It feels as if it wants to melt into his hand.
“I love you, Amber Harris. If I can't have you, than I don’t want anyone else or anything else for that matter. Everything in your past led you to me, and I don't want to miss out on this opportunity to know you, to love you, to be with you. The friendship you had with my grandfather was just that, nothing more.”
His mouth is slowly moving closer to mine as he speaks. His sweet breath lightly caresses my lips. My mouth aches again, I need to stay focused on not hurting him, but it is taking everything in me.
“I don’t care that you’re a vampire. I don’t care if we never talk about you turning me. All I care about is being able to call you mine.”
His soft, warm lips brush my mouth. I am having trouble concentrating and for the first time, it is not his blood that is disturbing my concentration. “What-what if I say no?” Sighing ever so softly, his forehead comes to rest against m
ine. Our eyes are locked; there is nowhere else to look.
“If you say no?”
His free hand reaches up, starting at the base of my neck, it slowly glides down my spine and comes to rest on the small of my back. His hand seems to be leaving a trail of fire down the middle of my backbone.
“If you say no, well then, I will have no choice. I will grant you your request and stop my pursuit. It won’t be easy and I have to tell you, you will be ripping my heart out, but I will give you what you want.”
I have never felt so much intensity from one being before. My body feels as if it is being pulled closer to him. I do not think it is possible, we are already sharing the same space, but still, somehow I feel the need to be molded to him. I do not think I trust my lips to respond in the matter in which I need them too. As his mouth lightly caresses mine, little sparks jump from his warm lips to mine. “What if I say yes?” My communication startles him. Not enough to have him retreat but just enough for me to ignite a fascinated shine in his eyes.
Our lips are so close, and I feel the smile begin to creep across his face, as he begins to speak in a very low rough voice, “Is that a yes?”
A flood of questions are running through my mind: Can this really be happening? Can I see myself with him? Do I have feelings for him? Can I really make a relationship with a human work? Will my family approve? Will Maddie approve? Would Lance have wanted it this way? All of those questions plus many more have me feeling dizzy. Or is it from the close proximity of Dominick? I want to say I do not know, but the word escapes from my lips before I can stop it. My mouth has betrayed my mind, “Yes.” My answer is barely audible but somehow he hears it. In response, Dominick’s lips slowly, tenderly find mine. His heart rate is steady. The warmth of his body is radiating and making me feel as if I am standing on the sun. His sweet, sweet, scent is all I am inhaling. Dominick’s lips crush against mine, and I...
“Amber, honey?”
Opening my eyes I am a little confused. I did not realize I shut them until my name was called. Dominick stands a few inches away from my body, and I am able to see his full face. Both his arms are wrapped tightly around my waist.
“Was it really that bad?”
The grin on his face reminds me of the grin Lance would give me when he knew he had something on me. Oh, I must not think of him that way. I…breathe, Amber. If I want to attempt to make this work, I cannot compare him to Lance. When he brings his hand up to brush my loose hair behind my ear, I smile and say, “No, it wasn't bad at all. It was…breathtaking.”
11
Virtual Dating
Putting my fingers lightly on my lips, I wait for the burning sensation that is spreading across my mouth to jump to my fingers. Nothing. Glancing at Dominick, he flashes a beautiful smile and reaches to take my hand in his and brings it towards his lips. My body tenses with the anticipation of him kissing my fingertips. Never breaking eye contact with me, he tenderly kisses each one of my fingers. Again, I feel a slow burn. This time his kisses are not only affecting my fingers but my hand too. Can this really be possible? I have not felt a difference to hot or cold in over two hundred years. “You look deep in thought. Tell me what you’re thinking, please.” That came out as a murmur as he works light kisses back across my finger tips.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes. I have no idea how we got to this place but we need to talk. I just need a few seconds to clear my head. “Can we sit?”
“Sure.”
Entwining our fingers, he turns and heads for the bed. “The chairs will be fine.” He looks over his shoulder and gives me a puzzled look, but still stops in front of the two black chairs. Dominick situates the chairs so they face each other. He must know that we need to talk. Sitting, I put my face in my hands. I do not know where to begin. How do I explain to him that I was just caught in the moment and there is no possible way that any of this will work? He is quiet. I hear his smooth breathing. I cannot see him, but I am certain he is staring at me with those fantastic gray eyes of his. He stirs. It is a very slow movement. I sense there is caution in it. From the warmth of his body, it would appear he has moved closer to me.
“Talk to me, Amber. You're not about to tell me you changed your mind, are you?”
I pull my hands from my face, and cannot help gawking at him with what must be a half-crazed stare on my face. How does he know? I shake my head to try to clear it of some of the unwanted thoughts from my brain and say, “Look, I didn't come here to start a relationship with you. I came here as a favor to Maddie, as a favor to Lance. You’re right. All of this was because of a final request from your grandfather. A final request that should have been buried with Lance. I'm sorry but this will not work. It cannot work.”
“Why?”
“Because, because you’re not meant to fall in love with a vampire! You’re supposed to live an ordinary human life which includes finding a human female you like, settling down with her, and having human children, who as you grow older will give you human grandchildren. It's called the human life cycle! That's how it’s supposed to work. In your world, freaks of nature like me are only in the books you read and the stories you tell around the campfire. We aren’t the creatures you think about falling in love with.”
Reaching over to pull both my hands into his, I resist the urge to pull back.
“So when does that cycle stop for you? Let’s say I choose the path my grandfather took. I’m sure that’ll be the next part of your speech. Be human, Dominick, go find a girl like your grandfather did, settle down, don’t worry I’ll make your life secure. I’ll even come around from time to time, and oh, once you’re dead, I’ll help take care of your family and their family. I'll keep this cycle going because somewhere in my mind I believe I don’t need to be loved. My joy comes from seeing other women have what could have been mine. Let me tell you, Amber, that’s sick.”
“Sick? This is coming from the boy who just told the woman that once had a relationship with his grandfather he loves her. Ha!”
“I’m not done, Amber. I'm telling you right now, even before I could begin to understand the way I felt about you, I decided I wouldn’t walk that path. Before I understood all the help you gave my grandfather. Yes, I've always seen myself getting married. But I never saw myself with kids. I don’t want what happened to me, my parents, or grandparents to happen again. I may not have kids and I may never truly understand the bond that is formed, but I do understand how hard it was for my grandparents to get up every day and take care of me knowing what I represented. You and I know that they would never say this, but I am a constant reminder of my father and his death.”
I am assuming he is taking a breather to let that all sink in. Our eyes have not left each other’s face. There is a slight sparkle in his eyes as he speaks. He is confident in what he has to say.
“Amber, I don't know why I have these feelings for you. I’ve had countless sleepless nights laying in bed trying to figure out the answer, but somehow all I keep coming up with is it is just meant to be. Like I said before, those letters were a guide. They gave me the information you never spoke about. It gave me insight into the wonderful and loving person you really are.”
Sighing, he releases my hands and stands. There are no windows in here but he stares at the wall over my head as if he is searching for something. Dominick steps to the side of the chair, turns and begins to pace. I should stop him and end this conversation as quickly as possible, yet I need to hear what he has to say. For a moment, I question if it is a want or a need, something deep down is telling me it is a need, but why?
Pacing, he brings his hands up to rest on the back of his head. The space between his elbows makes a perfect triangle. “Dominick, this is all nonsense. What if your grandmother hadn't called me? What if I never came to visit again? You do know that was the plan? I was never to truly become a part of your life. I just got so caught up in the life that Lance left behind, with the fantasy of living the life Lance
once led. Becoming friends with your grandmother and getting to know you were never a part of that deal.”
He stops mid stride, turns to look at me.
“But it did happen. Do you know that I was mapping out possible cities you lived in? After high school, I was going to leave home to find you if you never came back to visit.”
Slanting my head to the side, I try to get a different look of him. Can he really be serious? Drifting through his thoughts, I believe he is. He decided not to tell Maddie of his plans yet, since he has another year and a half of school, but all of the money he saved from his booming lawn-care business was going to go towards supporting him while he searched for me. Well, that was before he stopped caring and spent half the money on alcohol.
“Traveling on your own with little money and an alcohol problem wouldn't have gotten you very far. There are a lot of cities out there. Do you really think you would have found me? Do you understand who I am, and why your little plan would have probably left you stranded in some town, or city with no where to stay and no money?”
“I would have taken that chance.”
His arms fall to his side, sending a huge gust of his scent barreling my way. I close my eyes as his aroma once again assaults me. My senses detect Dominick’s approach. As he nears, he squats next to me. Opening my eyes, I am met by his handsome face. He is smiling, and I cannot help the smile that spreads slowly across my lips, too.
“Tell me, Amber, tell me you don't feel something for me? Tell me why you don't think this will work.”
“I-I don't know. I'm not what you need in life, but you’re right, I can make sure that you have it all. I can make sure all of your needs and wants are met.”
Dominick’s finger comes to rest on my lips, like Lance used to do, and I become silent. “You’re the only thing I need and the only thing I want. So if you’re telling me I can't have you, than I don't want anything your offering.”
“What about your grandmother?”
“I've been thinking about that. I wasn't sure if I would see you again. The timeline the doctors gave us is rapidly passing. I want to be there for her. I understand my actions as of lately haven't shown otherwise, but I do want to be there for her as she has for me. But once she's gone, well, if you hadn't had come back by then, I would have gone looking for you. Even if I never found you, I wouldn't be able to stay in that house. It would be too much for me. There are too many reminders, too many ghosts in the house.”
Standing, he puts his hands out for me to take. As I place mine in his, he pulls wanting me to move.
As I stand, Dominick says, “Now that you’re here, now that I know you do have some sort of feelings for me, I just need time to show you that this can work. I want to stay here with my grandmother until her last day, however long that may be, but once she’s gone, I want to come live with you, wherever you’re living.”
“Live with me? You do know I live in a house with other vampires? Four others to be precise. That's out of the question, it won’t be safe!”
“I think it'll be fine. There has never been a problem whenever you’ve come to visit.”
“There is a huge difference! If you want to make this work.” Pausing, I find myself all out of sorts. Did I just say ‘if you want to make this work’? Sighing, I-I am not sure what I have just gotten myself into. He is looking at me, and has picked up on my hesitation. I guess it is too late to turn back. “Then we will need to come up with a different living plan once you’re done with school.”
“Yes, you're right, we will need to work out the minute details, like how the long distance part of the relationship will work. I’ve never had one before. But as for the living together part, Amber, I don't want to take you away from your family. They are an important part of your life. Something I'm not going to let you walk away from. I'm kind of looking forward to meeting all of them.”
“Dominick...”
“Shhh. Don't tell me it isn't possible. You may not want to think that it is, but we both know just as your standing here, anything is possible.”
I have failed miserably. I have gone nowhere with guiding him in the human direction. Nevertheless, as the minutes have ticked by, I have also become aware of a funny feeling in my chest. I do not believe I have ever felt anything like this. There is something about Dominick, something that I believe I am finally done fighting. Perhaps in some ways he is right and maybe in others he has completely lost his mind. Save somehow, something is telling me that I cannot live without him. I gaze into his eyes and I find the fight slowly leaving.