by Gouge, W. B.
“Umm… yeah. Must have caught something on the bus ride.” His acting skills were terrible he thought.
She placed the bag full of medicine on the counter, “That’s $25.37 please...”
He handed her the money and looked over his shoulder nervously. His grandfather was waving goodbye to the pharmacist and was headed his way. David turned and grabbed his change from Liz and smiled as he hurried to the door. “I hope you feel better David, it was nice to see you again.” She called after him.
Outside he hurried to the truck and quickly crammed the bag in his backpack before his grandfather climbed in the driver’s seat, “I saw you talking to Elizabeth. How’s she doing?”
“Yeah, just talking about school.” David looked out his window and tapped his fingers on his knee frantically.
As Henry pulled out onto the road, David turned on the radio and rolled down his window. He had thought of starting over here in Dry Creek but he hadn’t been here an hour and he already had enough DXM to last a week. He wasn’t off to a good start. “I’ll have these just in case I need them. But I won’t take any unless I have to,” he thought.
The air coming in the window was hot and muggy so he rolled the window back up. There was a news report on the radio, Henry reached over and turned the volume up so they could hear it better. The reporter was talking about riots and widespread violence in the wake of police barricading part of the city.
“I wonder what’s going on?” Henry said.
David remembered hearing something about a gang of people rioting around a hospital just before he left school yesterday. “I think they’re talking about some hospital in Texas.” David said looking out the window again.
No sooner than he had mentioned that, the reporter chimed in again, “Similar reports of violence were reported yesterday in Houston and earlier today in Atlanta bringing the number of cities with riots and wide spread violence to four…”
“Four?” That seemed unusual, David wondered if had anything to do with the police shootings of unarmed people a few years ago. Apparently police had shot a young man outside a convenience store because they thought he had a gun. Later on they found out he wasn’t armed and the community blamed racism within the police force for the shooting. After that, several groups protested in different cities all over the country. David made up his mind that this must be a similar situation. Henry made a comment about young people and how they protested rather actually fixing their problems then turned the radio to an oldies station and continued driving.
The drive to his grandparent’s house was only about ten minutes. David couldn’t wait to see the old place again. He had grown up there with his grandparents since he was three years old after his mother died. They were the only family he had left besides his two uncles in Kentucky. David had never known his father and he was too young to remember his mother.
Henry pulled the truck into the long gravel drive way and parked in front of the old farmhouse. David jumped out excited to see it again. The old two story house was exactly how he remembered it. The white paint on the wooden house was chipping and the front porch leaned away from the house a bit. The old green shudders looked like they might fall off any minute and the patchy grass in the front yard was tall and dry. The old oak tree in the front yard was massive, probably almost one hundred years old. It cast a tremendous shadow over the yard and provided much appreciated shade during the hot summer months. Down by the road was the old barn Henry used as a garage. He needed a lot of space because he was the local farm equipment mechanic.
While David was looking around, Edna came to the screen door, “Oh David! Come here right this instant!” she exclaimed.
She threw the door open and rushed to meet them in the yard. Edna was about henry’s age, short and her hair had turned grey years ago. She wore an old flower print dress and an apron that she wiped her hands on as she rushed to meet him. Through he glasses david thought she looked as if she were about to cry.
“Hi Grandma.” David said, smiling as she threw her arms around him.
She hugged him tightly and David felt better than he had in a long time. It felt nice to him to know that they loved him so much, and made it even more difficult for him to image telling them the truth about why he was home.
“You look so thin!” she cupped his face in her hands, “And pale! Are you okay?”
David was trying to think of something to say when Henry jumped in, “He’s fine! He’s only been here for two seconds and you’re drivin’ him nuts already Edna!” Henry spoke, as he headed back to the truck to grab something.
“Oh be quiet!” she snapped at him and waved her hands in the air, “Come on David, you can tell me all about school while you eat a nice meal.”
David followed Edna into the house carrying his backpack. Already he felt at home seeing the two of them bicker. Edna led David to the table and told him to sit down as she hurried about the kitchen putting together a plate for him. The old wallpaper was peeling at the edges, the old cabinets needed some paint and the linoleum floor slanted toward the front of the house, but it was home! He looked around while his grandmother made a plate for him. The fond memories of the old house filling his head weren’t enough to banish away the terrible thought repeated over and over again in the back of his mind. It was the same thought he had been revisiting since he had stepped off the bus earlier. “Why did I ever leave?” he whispered.
“Hmmm?” Edna was bringing a plate to the table, “What did you say?”
“Nothing.” David looked down at the incredible food she had made.
“So… How’s school going?” Edna asked smiling and sat down across from him.
David stuffed his mouth with homemade mashed potatoes, and they were delicious. He had nearly forgotten how well his grandmother could cook. Even with his missing appetite while coming down off the drugs he scarfed the entire plate down one bite after another. He had completely ignored her question while he ate but she let it slide and as he finished the last bite she fixed another plate for him.
After the second plate David sat back in his chair satisfied. His stomach was full and his eyelids heavy. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked again with real concern in her voice.
“Yes grandma. I’m fine” David hated lying to his grandfather, but he hated lying to his grandmother even more.
Everything wasn’t fine, he had been kicked out of school and had nowhere to go. All he had to do was tell her and she would say everything was okay and she would come up with a way to sort things out. But he couldn’t tell her. He couldn’t bear to tell his grandparents that he had let them down after they had spent almost every dime of their life savings to send him to college.
“How have you guys been?” he tried to sound genuine but he really just wanted to change the subject.
“We’ve been the same as always. Your grandfather is hardheaded and stubborn and I worry about you two.” She smiled.
David felt so much better here than he had in school. He had felt so alone there, like no one cared or was there to help when he needed someone. But it wasn’t like that here, here he had real family he could count on. Henry came into the kitchen with his hand behind his back and a look like he was up to something, “I’ve found something of yours outside Edna.”
“Did you call Bill back, his tractor is messed up again.” She ignored his comment.
Henry pulled a bunch of flowers from behind him and placed them in front of her on the table, “You always did know exactly how to warm my old heart.” Henry joked and walked over to the phone laughing.
Edna started making a plate for Henry and David walked into the living room while Henry was talking on the phone. The room seemed smaller than he remembered. The old furniture took up almost the whole room. The ancient couch was very comfortable though, and the room smelled like home. He sat back and relaxed then turned on the antique television and was surprised to see that it still worked. The audio began before the picture came on. Reporters were discussing
the fallout of the President’s speech. The argument was getting heated and as the picture focused David could see the video of people in the streets behind two men sitting in chairs on a stage. The video behind the men showed people running and yelling. One man hurled a flaming bottle at a police car and it exploded into flames. Another scene depicted cops firing guns at something off camera as the picture went black. The last scene was a few cops who wore riot gear and carried clear shields forming a line while crowds of people charged at them.
“Wow, this is really getting out of hand.” David said to himself.
The two men kept arguing about whether the President should declare martial law for the whole state or just the affected areas. David watched the video playing behind them and waited to hear them say why this was going on but they never did. The discussion turned from the riots to politics and David grew bored quickly. He headed back into the kitchen where Henry sat eating and Edna stood at the sink and washed his dish.
“So what’s going all the fuss about on the news?” Henry asked.
“Not sure, same thing that was going on earlier I guess.” David replied.
“Well whatever it is, they will sort it out sooner or later. They always do.” Edna said, still washing dishes.
David noticed the flowers were now neatly arranged in a vase on the table. “I’m going to go to bed, we’ll catch up tomorrow okay?” David said.
“You look like you need some rest, your room is made up for you.” Edna walked over to David and kissed him on the cheek, “See you tomorrow, and then you can tell me all about school! Goodnight.”
“Goodnight” David said and headed to his room.
David climbed the stairs and for a second it was like he was seventeen again even though he was really nineteen now. He opened the door to his old room and turned the light on, it was like he never left. His room was plain. A bed, a desk, a dresser and a closet, but everything was exactly as he had left it. He walked over and sat on the side of the bed, the familiar screech of the spring groaning. He looked around the quiet room and smiled, “Nice to be home.”
David wanted to change clothes and crash, he could barely keep his eyes open by now. He reached into his backpack, and found the cold medicine. He looked at it for a moment. He had forgotten it was there, he was almost excited to find it though. He couldn’t explain why he wanted to take them, he was just ready to crash a second ago and now he was thinking about swallowing a box of these and flying to Mars tonight. “I gotta get some sleep… I can’t take these tonight.”
David stared at them for a few seconds. Almost as if he had been set to auto pilot he opened a box, took all sixteen pills out of their packaging, grabbed the bottle of water out of his bag and swallowed all of them in a single gulp. Then he lay back in his bed and closed his eyes feeling a little guilty. “Tomorrow I’ll start over,” he reasoned with himself and promised that this would be the last time. Then he closed his eyes, soon the visions would be back. And they wouldn’t stop for hours and hours and hours and hours.
Three
Sweat began to run from his forehead and soak into his pillow. His eyes burned and felt tired, but at the same time he felt as if he could see even when they were closed. He cracked one eye open and surveyed the room. The sun shone through the thin, decorative curtains onto the floor and it was growing hot in the small bedroom. David stretched and he noticed how different his joints felt when he was on DXM, like they were loose. His head slowed down from spinning during his last peak and now he was in the valley. He hadn’t slept much, the high had taken him from the edge of space to the depths of the earth over and over again. Wild dreams and hallucinations had kept him entertained through the night and had left him feeling horribly alert. He couldn’t explain after all this time how he felt so completely high and also so absolutely hung over at the same time.
He sat up in the bed aware of every single pop and ting of the mattress and rubbed his face with both hands. His senses were so sharp from the drugs, he felt so alive. He took a deep breath and headed downstairs for the bathroom at the end of the hall. As he passed the kitchen he tried to keep quiet but his grandmother caught sight of him. “Good afternoon David.”
He didn’t look up at her, instead he hurried past the kitchen, “Good morning Grandma.”
“It’s after one-o-clock, you must have been exhausted.” She called after him from the kitchen.
“Yeah, I was a bit tired.” He hurried into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.
He didn’t want her to see his face before he had a chance to clean up a bit. He turned on the faucet and looked in the mirror. “Shit!” His eyes were wide and his pupils completely dilated. He looked pretty stoned! He filled his hands with cold water and splashed it on his face several times. Then put his mouth to the faucet and gulped water for several seconds. His whole body felt dry from sweating all night. His mouth and tongue soaked up water as though they were made from a dry sponge. He looked at his reflection again and slicked back his dark hair with water. He couldn’t tell if he looked any better, but he felt pretty high either way. “Pull it together man…”
He drank a little more water then opened the door and headed for the kitchen. His grandmother was standing in front of the sink cutting potatoes, “I have some breakfast for you. It’s in the oven.” She didn’t turn to look at him thankfully.
He grabbed the plate out of the oven and sat at the table. Bacon, eggs and two homemade biscuits, it looked really good. He put the bacon in his mouth, it was salty. He scooped a piece of the fried eggs in his mouth, they were slimy. He grabbed a biscuit and chomped half of it in one bite, it was so dry. He went to the fridge and grabbed the orange juice. He poured a glass and gulped it down before pouring another and chugging it as well. That felt better. His stomach felt better when he ate, but he couldn’t stand the taste of food in his mouth right now.
“It’s so hot outside today…” his grandmother sighed, “Your grandpa better stay in the shade like I told him.”
David stood from the table and quickly pushed the food off the plate and into the trash. He sat back down at the table and stretched. “When was the last time it rained anyway?” he tried to sound normal but his voice sounded strange to him, hopefully she didn’t notice.
“It’s been a while but it feels like forever…”
Edna kept talking but David tuned out after that. His mind wandered and he found himself bugging out at the table. He was so tense in his wooden chair, he tried to clear his head of the drugs but every now and again he would see some tracer of light or hear an echo of a sound that didn’t really exist, and there was a constant high-pitched ringing in the back of his head. “Gotta get some sleep tonight for sure…” he thought.
“Your grandpa is out in the barn working on the Robinson’s tractor again,” she turned to look at David for the first time since he woke up, “He could use your help if you don’t have any other plans today.”
David didn’t feel like doing anything. It was hot as hell outside and he didn’t want to spend the next several hours sitting in the barn sweating his ass off. But his grandfather probably needed help, and he usually enjoyed working with the old man. “Sure, I’ll go help him out,” he stood up and headed for the door.
Edna cut him off and hugged him, “Thank you David, you’re a good boy,” she smiled at him and he felt terrible for not telling her about school. But he couldn’t, they had spent so much money for him to go and he had wasted it all. Edna went back to cutting vegetables and David stepped outside into the sweltering heat of the midday sun.
The drugs made being outside like watching the world on a flat screen. He blinked several times trying to lose the distorted view but gave up and headed down the driveway toward the barn. He began to sweat immediately in the bright sun. It beaded up on his forehead and did nothing to cool him down as the dry breeze blew dust across the brown yard. As David stood in the sun he noticed a pickup truck speeding down their driveway leaving a thick trail of
dust billowing behind it. The truck skidded to a halt tossing gravel into the yard. David recognized the truck and was happy to see the old thing. It belonged to his best friend Owen. David hadn’t spoken to him sense he had left for college.
The cloud of dust enveloped the truck and continued past floating away on the warm breeze. David heard the door open and Owen jumped out of the truck and strutted toward him, “Hey boss! How ya been?”
David met him halfway and they shook hands firmly as David spoke, “Good man. Its good to see you, how have you been?”
“Same as ever, fightin’ off the ladies constantly, livin’ the dream.” Owen smiled showing crooked and discolored teeth.
Owen had always been stout, but it seemed as though he had put on a lot of muscle in the past year. His chest stretched his plain white T-shirt and his arms bulged from both short sleeves.
“Living the dream huh?” David looked at the old truck, “Well you got the living part right I guess.”
Somehow Owen had always been able to hook up with any girl he wanted, even though David had always thought Owen was resembled an ogre. David just couldn’t understand it, but he had always been happy for Owen for that skill, and at times had also been jealous. “How long are you back for?” Owen asked leaning up against the front of his truck.
“A while maybe, not sure yet.” David had always confided in Owen, about everything. But he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet, especially right in front of the house where someone might hear.
“Cool,” Owen stood up straight and smiled, “Let’s go grab a beer and catch up?”
“I have to help my grandpa out with some stuff first, maybe I…” David was cut off.
“Come on, we’ll be back in a few hours, we haven’t been able to hang out for a year now.”
David felt suddenly aware of all the lying he had been doing to his friends and family lately. He felt like he needed to tell someone, and get this boulder off of his chest.
“Alright,” he felt a little guilty for leaving his grandfather hanging on the tractor but he wasn’t really going to be that much help anyway. And he did feel like be social right now so he caved in.