Blind with Love

by Becca Jameson

  “Mmm.” What else could he say?

  “Am I still alive? Is this heaven? Did I die?” He could hear the subtle jesting in her voice.

  “Yes. This is heaven. And yes, you are still alive. Don’t move…”

  Chase hauled himself off the bed and padded over to the bathroom where he turned on the water to warm it up, disposed of the condom in the trashcan, and then grabbed a washcloth to soak it in the soothing liquid. When he returned and reached for her, she had not moved an inch. He gently spread her legs and swiped the washcloth all over her before carefully cleaning himself. After setting the cloth on the bedside table, Chase eased back the comforter still beneath Kristen and dragged her limp body carefully onto the sheets. He climbed in beside her as she rolled to the side, and spooned his body against her back, pulling the comforter over them, encompassing them in a warm cocoon.

  Kristen sighed again, sunk deeper into his embrace.

  “Stay.” It was just a word. A small one. Not really spoken as a question, but Chase held his breath waiting for her answer.

  “I couldn’t move even if I wanted to…” She spoke so softly he could barely hear her. She yawned and snuggled even closer.

  Had she fallen asleep? Would he wake with her by his side?

  Chase inhaled a sated breath and thanked his lucky stars.

  Chapter Three

  A shrill noise yanked Chase from the deepest sleep he could ever remember. He bolted upright, confusion clouding his world. Slowly, the memories of last night resurfaced, or had it been early morning? And then he felt the movement of the deliciously warm body rubbing against him.

  “Chase? Is that the phone?”

  Oh, that’s what the noise is. Chase scrambled for the receiver on the bedside table and pushed the “talk” button.

  “Y-yes.” He had to cough to clear his throat and begin again. “Hello.” His voice seemed distant, hoarse to his ears.

  “Chase? Is this Chase Edwards?” The voice on the other line was vaguely familiar, but Chase’s mind wasn’t clear enough to identify the person.

  Again he cleared his voice. “Yes, this is he. May I ask who’s speaking?” Wide awake now, Chase sat up and struggled to pay attention. What time was it anyway?

  “Mr. Edwards, this is Dr. Russell at the medical center, downtown Dallas. I’m calling to inform you we have donor corneas available. We found a match about thirty minutes ago. Can you come in right away?”

  Oh my God. It was happening. Truly happening. Had Dr. Russell said “now”? Come in now and we’ll give you your sight back?

  “I’m sorry. Can you repeat that?” Chase had to be sure his ears weren’t playing tricks on him.

  Kristen slowly sat up and reached for him. “Chase? Is everything okay?” Concern etched her voice. He smoothed his free hand over her shoulder and hugged her tight.

  “Mr. Edwards? Do you have a ride or should we send someone to get you? We need to act fast. The window of opportunity, as you know, is very short.”

  Chase scrambled to a standing position next to the bed and ran his free hand through his hair. Think.

  “Um, no…I mean, yes. Yes, I do have a ride. I’ll be there as fast as I can.” As he spoke, his face turned in Kristen’s direction where he’d last yanked himself from her hold on the bed. “Kristen?”

  “Of course. What’s going on? I’ll get my clothes. Is someone hurt? Margo?”

  Without uttering another word, Chase hung up the phone and pulled Kristen immediately out of the bed and into his arms. When she grunted a rather unladylike sound he knew he’d squeezed her a little too tight, but he was excited and dammit, scared. He kissed her hard and swift on the forehead. “A donor. They have a donor for me.” He released her and scrambled toward the bathroom. “I have to get to the hospital fast. Can you drive?”

  “Wow. That’s fantastic, Chase.” He heard her footsteps behind him. “Absolutely. Let’s go. I’ll grab my clothes. Do you need any help? Should I call Margo?”

  Her voice faded as Chase dashed into the bathroom, striking the corner of the sink for the first time since he’d moved into this apartment. Every nerve in his body was coming alive. He fumbled for the handle. When he found the lever he gave it a twist, immediately splashing water on his face. He had to calm down. Get dressed. He sucked in a shaky breath. “No, I’m fine. Just hurry,” he yelled over his shoulder.

  *

  Kristen was in a daze. Stunned. She ran from the room, dressed, and stood at the door in record time. A speed runner couldn’t have pulled off such a feat, and it was a good thing too, because Chase was right on her heels, grabbing his wallet from the table next to the front door and stepping out into the cool outside air.

  “What time is it?” he questioned as Kristen led him the few blocks back to where she’d left her car the night before near the restaurant.

  She glanced at her watch. “Two thirty. If my adrenaline wasn’t pumping so hard, I’d collapse on the sidewalk here and go back to sleep after the workout you put me through last night.” She smiled, thinking of all they had shared.

  Her smile faded just as fast. What the hell are you doing, Kristen? You can’t have a relationship with this man. She needed to go home. Pack. Get out of town. She had a plane to catch tomorrow morning. A one-way trip she wasn’t sure she would ever return from.

  “Kristen?”

  “We’re almost there,” she stammered, shaken from her thoughts.

  It was easy to navigate the few streets and intersections they had to cross at this time of night, and within moments, they were safely buckled into Kristen’s car, careening toward the hospital.

  Thank God Chase lived downtown. They were so close to the hospital Kristen wasn’t sure it wouldn’t have been quicker to walk. She pulled up to the front where an orderly was waiting. He helped Chase immediately from the passenger side of the car, and in an instant Chase was inside the hospital, leaving Kristen heaving large breaths for several moments before she could gather her wits and look for a parking space.

  She pulled the car safely into a narrow spot and headed for the hospital entrance on autopilot, even thinking to whip out her cell phone and call Margo.

  A very groggy voice answered on the fifth ring. “Hello… Who is this?”

  “Margo, it’s Kristen. I’m with your brother. He got a donor. We’re at the hospital right now. Can you come?” She spoke so fast she wasn’t sure Margo was even still there. “Margo?”

  “Oh my God,” was all Kristen heard before a muffled voice revealed Margo wasn’t alone. Margo spoke anxiously to someone else. Was she still with Ryan? Kristen waited. After some shuffling, “I’m here. I can’t believe it. I’m heading there now.”

  And then the telephone went dead.

  Kristen entered the hospital and approached the information desk, already questioning the young woman behind it. “Do you know what room they took my friend to? I just left him off out front. Chase Edwards?”

  The desk clerk seemed not to have any idea what she was talking about. “I’m sorry, ma’am. Let me see what I can find out for you. I didn’t notice anyone went by. I stepped away for a minute or two.”

  The impatience pumping through Kristen’s blood was driving her crazy. She didn’t want to snap at this woman, who seemed to be the sole person conducting Kristen’s life at this moment, with a bit too much lassitude for her personal taste. Kristen stood next to the desk, unable to keep her foot from tapping, rubbing her hands up and down her chilled arms.

  After what seemed like an endless stretch of time, an orderly arrived to usher Kristen through several doors and hallways. Finally, they rounded a corner and entered a pre-op room filled with rows of beds intended for those waiting on surgeries, empty now, except for Chase, because it was the middle of the night. Chase was already prepped and lying on a gurney. A young blond orderly in dark blue scrubs stood next to him and paused to give Kristen a moment before wheeling him away.

  “Chase?” She cupped his hand in hers, feeling the
sting of tears. “I’m so happy for you. Margo’s on her way.” She wouldn’t be here. She had to leave, now. Before Margo showed up and it got even more difficult.

  “Kristen.” He reached for her hand, squeezed it. He was sweating. Trembling. Scared. “They said it would only take a few hours…to do the transplant. Can you stay? I have…so many things…I want to say to you…” His voice was trailing away.

  The orderly looked up and smiled at her. “Sedative.”

  Kristen felt a lump in her throat. Chase’s heavy eyes mercifully closed before she could respond.

  The attendant pushed Chase’s bed from the room, leaving Kristen standing in the hall, her hand covering her mouth. A sob threatened to choke its way out of her. Tears ran down her face.

  With a long deep breath, Kristen turned and walked down the hall back the way she had come just moments before. She knew she couldn’t face Margo, and her steps quickened at the thought of possibly never seeing Margo or her wonderful brother again.

  Chapter Four

  “Well?” Chase turned his head in the direction of the door to his room. He’d recognize Margo’s soft step and fresh scent anywhere. With his eyes still bandaged for another day, he really had no way of knowing how successful the surgery had been. Waiting was driving him insane. Worrying was making him even crazier. What the hell had happened to Kristen?

  Did I do something to offend her?

  He had expected her to be standing by his side when he came out of surgery. He didn’t know why. After all, they had just met hours earlier. Why would he assume she would be in his life forever? It had seemed so…perfect, their evening together. So…right. Like some divine being made them for each other. Where was she?

  “Nothing.” Defeat creeped into Margo’s voice. She sounded just as worried as Chase. “Mom and Dad will be here soon. They took the first flight out this morning.”

  Chase had turned away, barely listening to his sister. Thank God she couldn’t see his eyes. They would be misty.

  He felt like an idiot. Had it only been a one-night stand to her? She had seemed so…into him. Hadn’t she?

  “Do you want some more water?” Margo was moving around the room, keeping herself busy. He knew her well.

  “No, I’m fine.” Liar.

  “How about something to eat? They brought your lunch about an hour ago. You’ve barely touched it. I’m sure your stomach is settled now. Surely the anesthetic has worn off.”

  “No.”

  He couldn’t talk to her right now. He silently pleaded with her to stop jabbering. “I think I just need a nap. Could you…?”

  “Right. Sure. I’ll just go down to the cafeteria for a while.” Margo’s voice got stronger as she spoke. She reached for his hand. “I’m sure she’s fine. Maybe it was all just a little too fast for her. Maybe she just needs some time.”

  “Whatever.” Chase was through talking right now. He slunk down into the bed and turned on his side, away from her. Was there a window on that side? Would he be able to at least see the light coming in tomorrow when they removed the bandages? God, he hoped so.

  “Chase…Chase…” Voices were calling to him from far away. Where were they coming from?

  Chase moved to sit up and started to remember. Oh, yeah, the hospital. The surgery. The bandages. Kristen…

  “Are you awake?” His mother’s voice yanked him back to reality.

  “I am now.”

  “Sorry, baby. I was worried about you. We’ve been here for hours and you’ve been asleep the entire time. You were having a nightmare.” Cynthia Edwards’ soft voice reached out to soothe Chase’s precarious nerves.

  What had he been dreaming about? He had no idea, but whatever it was left a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach.

  “Mom…”

  “Right here, honey. And Dad, too.” His father’s hand gripped his shoulder on the tail end of his mother’s sweet words. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

  “I’m fine, Mom. Just waiting. They say tomorrow they can take the bandages off.”

  “I heard. Margo told us.” His mother bustled about, smoothing out the blankets covering his body. He had the urge to ruffle the whole lot when she pulled her hands away. Did she think smoothing his blankets would also smooth his life? Of course not. She probably had no idea what had just happened to him Friday night. No idea his world felt upside down because he’d met the woman he was sure he wanted to spend the rest of his life with…and she had left without a trace. As the hours ticked by, he became more and more convinced she wasn’t interested. The night had not meant the same thing to her it had meant to him.

  “Where’s Margo?” Maybe she knew something.

  “We sent her home. She looked tired. I think she must have stayed up all night with you. A nice man came by and took her home. Ryan? I think that was his name. She didn’t mention she was seeing someone new.”

  “Yes.” Chase didn’t feel like going into details, but he was relieved, and truth be told, a bit jealous, that Ryan was with Margo. At least one of them hadn’t been abandoned the morning after.

  * * * *

  Sunday morning came too fast. After only a few hours of sleep Friday night, Kristen spent all of Saturday hurrying around in preparation for her flight to Chicago. She didn’t know when she might be able to come back to her apartment, but she wasn’t willing to let go of it yet. She just wasn’t ready for that kind of finality. Instead she arranged for her mail to be forwarded, and gave all her potted plants to a neighbor.

  After another restless night, barely getting any sleep once again, Kristen now sat for the first time in nearly twenty-four hours, waiting for her flight. Deep breaths did not help calm her racing heart. It had all seemed like such a clean break, up until Friday night. How had she let this happen? Why had she agreed to go on that date?

  Kristen stared out the window at the tarmac and wondered for the millionth time how the surgery had gone. What was Chase thinking about her hasty departure? Hell, what was Margo thinking? Knowing Margo, she probably thought aliens had abducted Kristen. As a last minute thought, Kristen had slipped a note under Margo’s apartment door before heading for the airport, letting her know she was fine, she had some “things” she had to take care of, and she didn’t know when she would be back. Now she wondered if Margo had read the note yet, or if she was still at the hospital.

  Kristen’s cell phone had rung all weekend. Finally, she turned it off, never allowing herself to listen to the messages. What good would it have done to hear their voices? It wouldn’t change anything. The clean break was better. Right?

  Chewing on her bottom lip, Kristen tried to squeeze off the tears threatening to spill over onto her cheeks once again. Now that she was idle, she couldn’t hold back her emotions any longer. When were they going to call for boarding? If she could just get on the plane. If she could just get out of town. If she could just put some distance between herself and her past…

  * * * *

  Dr. Russell walked into the room Sunday morning at almost the same moment as Margo and Chase’s parents. “Are we ready? I bet you are chomping at the bit to get that bandage removed.”

  Chase pulled himself to a sitting position. This was it.

  He lifted his face to the doctor, pasted a small grin on. “Let’s do it.”

  Dr. Russell clanked something onto the little table next to Chase and began to speak again. “Now, I want you to be prepared. We have no guarantees here. If the surgery was successful, it will take time, several weeks, to be sure of the level of success. You won’t be able to see everything this very afternoon. What we are hoping for right now is just a distinction between light and dark, perhaps even moving shapes.” He paused before adding, “May I?” He asked the question while placing his hands on Chase’s bandages.

  Someone had a tight grip on Chase’s arm. His mother. Fear had an even firmer hold on Chase. His chest was aching, and he didn’t have any way of knowing how much was pain over Kristen’s disappearance and
how much was fear about his eyesight. He held his breath as Dr. Russell removed the bandages.

  And then…light! For the first time in nearly twenty years. Nothing distinct, just shapes and light. Movement of objects even.

  “Well?” Dr. Russell questioned.

  “Oh, my God. Things are moving in front of me. I can’t believe it. I can see shadows. Slight colors. Movement. This will get better? Do you really think?” Excitement coursed through him, temporarily knocking aside all other thoughts.

  Dr. Russell chuckled. “I believe it will each day. We’ll keep you here a few more days to monitor the progress. It’s hard to tell how much sight you may get. At some point it will level off and then we’ll have a better idea. I’m very hopeful though. This is a good sign. Hold still a minute. Let me have a look at those new corneas.”

  The doctor leaned so close to Chase he could distinguish the shadow in front of him, feel the doctor’s warm breath on his face. And then a bright light shined in his left eye, causing him to jerk in surprise.

  Dr. Russell chuckled again. “Good. Good. Everything looks perfect. Healing fine…” He moved to shine the light in Chase’s right eye. Blessed bright light that warmed his soul.

  Chase was stunned. He wanted to jump up and force himself to try harder.

  “I don’t want you to do too much,” explained the doctor, as if reading Chase’s mind. “Give your eyes time to adjust. Don’t rub them. The corneas need to heal. I’m going to put some drops in each eye, and leave them here on the table for you to put in anytime they feel dry, but at least once every few hours. Sleep. Rest. Each time you wake up, you will probably see improvement. Literally.”

  The doctor’s congratulations continued as he exited. Chase was still dumbfounded. Hope for the first time in so long. Chase could feel the pull of sleep dragging him under. He needed to escape. To let his mind relax. The mixture of excitement and disappointment was wearing on him, tugging at his heart.