On the drive back to the ranch, Bethany couldn’t stop thinking about what her friend had said. That Cade was worth fighting for. She turned the idea over and over in her head, wondering if she’d ever had to fight for anything before.
So much had been handed to her. So much simply given by virtue of who her mother had married. When there had been trouble at her boarding school, she’d run home. The same in college. Had she ever once stood her ground?
She found Cade at his office in the stable. He didn’t look happy to see her, but she didn’t care. What she had to say couldn’t wait for him to be in a better mood.
She carefully closed the door behind her, then sat at his desk across from him.
“I’m sorry,” she began. “I think you can understand why I did what I did, but you can’t get past it. It brings up too much hurt from your past. I agree that there were so many times when I could have told you who I was and a bunch of times I should have told you the truth. I was wrong. I guess I’ve always let circumstances dictate who I was and what was going to happen. I never made any of the hard decisions myself. I’ve drifted, which is ridiculous. Poor little rich girl with too many options. I want to be different. I want to change.”
She took a breath. She was going to have to lay it all on the line and hope that Cade would give her a second chance.
“I know you’re hurt and angry. At the end of the day, whatever my reason, I lied. I take responsibility for that and I ask for your forgiveness. I hope you’ll consider giving me a second chance because what we have together is good and special, and as far as I’m concerned, it doesn’t happen all that often.”
Now came the hard part, she told herself.
“I’ve fallen in love with you,” she told him. “With you and this town and I hope you’re feeling, if not the same, then maybe you can see yourself...”
Her voice trailed off. Instead of softening, Cade’s expression hardened. His eyes became icy and his mouth formed a straight line.
“Don’t,” he told her. “It’s not going to work, Bethany. You should have stopped with the apology. That I might have believed. But this crap—it’s not gonna happen.”
“It’s not crap,” she whispered, feeling heat on her cheeks. “It’s not. I love you. Why would I lie about my feelings? How does telling you the truth make this crap?”
“It just is. Sell it somewhere else. I’m not buying it for a second.”
And that was it, she thought numbly. The end of what could have been. Being brave was highly overrated.
“Okay.” She brushed the tears from her cheeks. “I guess this is goodbye.”
“I guess it is.”
There was so much else she wanted to say but what was the point? She walked out of his office and went to the stable to see Rida one last time before going to the airport. Once she was home, she would figure out what to do next. And how to stop being in love with Cade.
CHAPTER NINE
RIDA CANTERED DOWN the trail but Cade could tell his heart wasn’t in it. Bethany had been gone for nearly a week and Rida continued to miss her. The stallion had allowed Cade to ride him for the past three days without putting up any kind of a fight. Cade suspected that was more about being lonely than because of Cade’s training skills.
Together they turned back to the barn. Rida knew the way and kept to the main path. When they reached the stable, he looked around, as if searching for someone. Then his head lowered slightly and he walked to the paddock.
Cade walked him to cool him off, then groomed him and checked for injuries before turning him out into the pasture. He would put him in his stall after he’d had a chance to relax in the sun.
Harry jumped up on the railing and walked over to get his head rub, then meowed for Rida. The horse trotted over and stood close so the cat could rub against his face. Rida looked at Cade, as if asking him to fix the problem.
“I can’t, big guy,” he told the horse. “I’m sorry.”
Rida didn’t look convinced.
Cade thought about pointing out he was suffering, too. That he missed everything about Bethany, but there was no point. Not only wouldn’t the horse understand, if he could appreciate the sentiment, he would most likely tell Cade to take care of business. It wasn’t as if Rida could text or call.
Cade knew he couldn’t, either. He had all the reasons and he was determined. In time, he would forget her. Only that hadn’t happened yet.
Cade headed for his office, then stopped when he recognized his sister’s car by the back of the house. He saw her sitting on the porch and went to join her.
“Hey,” she called as he approached. “How’s it going?”
He’d texted her after Bethany had left to let her know her friend was gone. Pallas’s response had been to say that she was around if he wanted to talk. Apparently she’d gotten tired of waiting for him.
“I’m good. How are you?”
She studied him for a second. “You’re going to be a jerk about her, aren’t you?”
“I see you’re getting right to the point.”
She waved a folder. “You’re my brother and I love you, so yes, I’m going to try to convince you not to be an idiot.”
“You have no idea what happened between me and her.”
“I know she’s in love with you and I’m pretty sure you feel the same way about her.”
No, he told himself. He didn’t love her. He refused. She’d lied and nothing else mattered.
Pallas waved a folder at him. “I thought you might retreat into strong-silent mode. It was always your way of dealing with stuff. When Mom got on your nerves, you went to the ranch. Before that, you’d hide out somewhere in the backyard. You don’t believe in confrontations. You walk away. Well, walking away this time is a big mistake, Cade, because if you take too long to figure out what she means to you, you could lose her forever.”
She opened the folder. “The internet is an amazing place. Nothing ever dies, it just gets harder to find.” She picked up a piece of paper. “When Bethany was fourteen, a friend wrote a blog about how Bethany had a crush on a guy at a neighboring boarding school. The supposed friend gets into details about how Bethany wanted him to kiss her at the school dance and he didn’t. The friend posted the story online and it went viral. Remember your first crush? Wouldn’t having the whole world know be special?”
Cade knew what Pallas was trying to do and he told himself he was immune. He just hoped he wasn’t lying.
She took out a second piece of paper. “This one is from a few years earlier. Some reporter got one of Bethany’s tutors to talk about her study habits, how she did on tests, what she liked to eat. Apparently our girl had trouble learning French. The tutor mocked her accent. This was published in a magazine. She was twelve.”
His stomach knotted and his hands curled into fists. He consciously relaxed. Not his problem, he told himself.
“Did she tell you about the college boyfriend?” Pallas asked. “The one who put naked pictures of her online and wrote about deflowering a princess?”
“She mentioned that,” he admitted, still feeling sick for her.
“Yeah, want to see the pictures? Because they’re right there for the whole world to look at. Forever.” Pallas glared at him. “No matter what she does or where she goes, those naked pictures live on. They’re great. She looks fabulous and technically her boobs and crotch don’t show, but wow, Cade. What would that be like? Want to see?”
He turned away. “No. I don’t.”
“You’re in the minority. Want to know how many times the pictures have been downloaded? Want to think about all the jackasses in the world staring at her naked eighteen year-old self? And that happened because she was stupid enough to trust a guy who said he loved her. But hey, why should that matter? She lied to you about who she is. Let’s hat
e her forever.”
With that Pallas rose. She slapped the folder against his chest, then kept on walking. He stayed where he was until she’d driven away, then he sank down on the porch steps and dropped the folder to the ground.
He didn’t want to feel sorry for Bethany. He didn’t want to understand what had happened to her. He wanted to wallow in his pain and blame her for everything. Then he wanted to forget he’d ever met her. Only... Only... That wasn’t going to happen. Not any of it. He couldn’t forget her, wouldn’t forgive her. Sure, she’d had some bad things happen, but so what? She should get over it. She shouldn’t have lied to him about—
He picked up the folder, then dropped it again. One of the pictures slipped out, showing part of a bare leg and hip. He closed his eyes as rage and revulsion swept through him. Who would do that? Who would betray someone he was supposed to care about for a check and five minutes of notoriety?
He grabbed the picture and studied it. Bethany looked so damned young and defenseless. She was asleep, half under the sheet. He wondered if the boyfriend had arranged her that way. The pose suggested more than it showed, but it was still a violation. She would still see it every time she closed her eyes.
She should get over it. Had he really thought that? Was she supposed to get over something like this while he was allowed to whine about what had happened with Lynette? Yes, he’d learned a hard lesson, but so what? It had worked out in the end. He’d gotten a great job in Texas that he’d liked a whole lot better. He’d learned more, had a chance to have dinner with then Crown Prince Malik, which had led to him being able to buy Rida for basically pennies on the dollar. Yeah, that was a drag. At least no one had tried to destroy his life by exposing his most intimate acts on the internet.
She’d been what, eighteen? And a virgin until that night? Cade wanted to call King Malik and ask what he’d done, just to make sure it was enough. Because if the jerk who’d done that was still breathing and walking, it wasn’t.
Cade carefully put the picture into the folder, then stood and walked into the house. He’d been a fool. No, he’d been worse than a fool. He’d been cruel and insensitive and Bethany deserved a whole lot better than him.
Still, she’d said she loved him. If that was true, if he was so lucky that she’d offered her heart, then what was he still doing in California? It wasn’t every day a man met a woman like her. Given that he’d fallen completely and totally in love with her, being without her was wrong on every level.
There was only one thing for him to do—get his ass to El Bahar and grovel like the worm he was. Beg her to forgive him and ask for another chance. This time he wouldn’t blow it. This time he would do everything in his power to convince her that he was going to spend the rest of his life proving how much he loved her. He was going to take care of her and protect her and be impressed by her and hope it was enough. Because at the end of the day, he would be offering all that he had.
* * *
CADE HAD NEVER been to El Bahar before and didn’t know what to expect. The airport was large and modern. He went through customs easily, and then got a cab. It was only when the driver asked him where he wanted to go that he realized he still hadn’t come up with a plan.
He’d gotten the first flight he could out of LAX. That meant changing planes first in New York and then in Frankfurt. Including layovers, he’d already traveled more than twenty-six hours and he still didn’t know how he was supposed to get in touch with Bethany.
She’d disconnected the phone she’d used in Happily Inc. If she’d given Pallas her real number, his sister hadn’t bothered sharing the information with him, so he was on his own.
“Take me to the royal palace, please.”
The driver nodded and pulled away from the curb.
They quickly merged onto a multilane highway. Traffic flowed briskly in both directions. The exits were clearly marked, the road signs were in English. To the southwest was the Arabian Sea and up ahead were the modern high-rises of the downtown area.
They drove past what he would guess was a large financial district, judging by the names of banks on several of the tall buildings, followed by more office buildings. When they exited the highway, there was a large park on one side and a shopping center on the other.
They passed several residential neighborhoods, more parks, schools, a sprawling university, then entered what seemed to be an older part of the city. Streets became more narrow, buildings closer together. The traffic was denser here.
Thirty minutes later, the cab drove down a long tree-lined street. At the far end was the fabled pink palace of El Bahar. Cade stared at the turrets and domes, the walls, the gardens and the tourists’ buses.
The cab pulled over and the driver pointed to the amount due. Cade groaned.
“I didn’t have time to exchange my money,” he said, pulling out his wallet. “Are US dollars all right?”
The driver smiled. “Of course. Very welcome here.” He pushed a button on his meter and the amount was converted to US currency. Cade paid him, grabbed his duffel and got out.
The sun was high in the sky, the temperature warm. He could see the blue water to his left and the palace in front of him. Tourists swarmed, taking pictures. Guides held colored signs aloft in an attempt to keep their groups together.
How was he supposed to find Bethany is all this? He knew she lived in the palace, but it wasn’t as if they were going to simply let him in. Should he have gone to the stables instead? Called Pallas to beg for Bethany’s number? Not knowing what else to do, he walked up to the information booth and spoke to the woman inside.
“May I help you?” she asked.
“Yes. I’m Cade Saunders, from the United States.” He pulled a business card out of his wallet. “I was hoping to see the king.”
He waited for hysterical laughter, or the guards to pull out their guns and force him back into a cab. Instead the young woman looked at the card, then him, before asking, “May I see your passport?”
“Sure.” Cade handed that to her, as well.
“One moment,” she told him, and picked up the phone.
* * *
“BUT IT’S INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S STUDIES,” her mother said for maybe the sixth time. “Wouldn’t that be interesting?”
“Mom, if you’re that intrigued, you go get your degree.” Bethany smiled to soften the words. “I love you, but you’re making me insane. I’m fine. You don’t need to hover.”
Only part of a lie, Bethany thought. She wasn’t fine, but she really didn’t need the hovering, either. Eventually she would be fine. Or at least all right, which was close. Right now the wounds were too fresh. She’d only been home a few days and she ached for Cade with every breath. But in time, she would heal—of that she was sure.
Her parents had welcomed her with open arms, as had her brothers. She’d given herself twenty-four hours to sulk like a five-year-old, then she’d told herself it was time to grow up and take responsibility.
Feeling more than a little ridiculous, she’d spent a morning taking an online aptitude test that also measured what she liked and disliked. The test had confirmed what she already knew—women’s studies were not for her. She liked being outdoors; she loved horses, whether it was caring for them, training them, showing them or breeding them.
“But Texas?” her mother asked, her voice rising only a little. “It’s so far. They have lovely horses in England. England is so much closer.”
Bethany had already resigned from her job at the royal stable and looked for a college offering a degree in ranch management. While there were several, the one at Texas A&M gave her more options. Once she had her degree, then she would figure out what to do with it. Maybe buy a ranch or get involved with horse rescue. In the meantime she would get a job at a ranch. She had experience and good recommendations.
“I know En
gland is closer,” Bethany said lightly. “But it’s not for me.”
“I’ll miss you so much.” Her mother hugged her. “But I understand why you have to go.” Liana hesitated. “Have you heard from Cade?”
Bethany shook her head. “No, and I don’t expect to. It’s over. He’s not going to forgive me for what I did.”
“Then he’s not worth it, darling, and I suspect you know that.”
Sensible words, Bethany told herself. And while her head knew her mother was right, her heart was not so willing to let go of the man who held it captive.
* * *
CADE WAS OKAY with the guy in the suit who led him through the palace—it was the uniformed and armed guard who stayed close that made him nervous.
He’d waited nearly twenty minutes before the guy in the suit had reappeared. He escorted Cade through carved double doors that had to be nearly twenty feet high, then through a foyer the size of a basketball court. Cade had to show his passport at two different checkpoints before leaving what were obviously the public parts of the palace and entering the working section of the compound.
Ancient blended perfectly with modern. The floors were stone, several of the doorways arched. There were mosaics and murals, tapestries and carvings along with offices and computers and people talking on cell phones. The business of running a country was still a business and a large staff was required.
They passed what he would guess was a large lunchroom. A small raised platform held a Christmas tree, a large menorah and a red-and-white-striped mailbox with a sign saying Direct mailings to the North Pole. Cade felt the beginning of cultural dizziness and realized he actually knew very little about the country or its people.
Too late now, he thought as he was led into a very large, very impressive waiting area. Two men sat behind massive desks. They were both wearing headsets and speaking. One of them finished his call, then looked at Cade.
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