He reached the stairs and disappeared from view, leaving Jakob standing there alone. It was a peaceful view from here, seeing the forest all around him, and the ahmaean swirling throughout it. From here, he could make out individual daneamiin in the trees as well as the ground.
Near the entrance to the Cala maah, one daneamiin in particular stood, looking up at him.
Anda.
She watched him, a thoughtful expression on her face, one that he had seen many times in the days they had spent together.
Had she known about the bleakness of the visions?
If she had, why had she so willingly offered to help him? If she knew that nothing could be changed, that there was no hope for them, why had she agreed to come along?
Jakob held her gaze, watching her as she looked up at him, before finally descending from the peak of the Cala maah, and reentering the building.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The small pond remained crystal clear, and the water was pleasant, warm, as Jakob dipped his toes into it, sitting next to Anda. The air smelled earthy and sweet, and welcoming. In spite of it, a tremble of fear coursed through him. “Did you know about the fibers?”
“Jakob Nialsen—”
He looked up. “Did you?”
“I did not. I knew that Aruhn has witnessed things in the past, images that have made him fear for the future, but none knew what it was that he feared.”
That made Jakob feel somewhat better. Had she known, he would’ve been hurt by the fact that she hadn’t been willing to share It with him.
“I returned to Chrysia and saw my brother.”
“It would have been difficult for me to go with you.”
Jakob looked over. “You had other reasons.”
“There were other reasons. My people needed to hear that Alyta was gone. We knew her well, and we sang a song of mourning for her, celebrating her passage.”
What must it have sounded like? Perhaps that was something only for the daneamiin, and not for the ears of man—or for the damahne.
“I tried to heal him, but—”
“You don’t have complete control over your abilities to heal him.”
“I think it’s more than that. Even with full control over my ahmaean, and the abilities of the damahne, I still wouldn’t have been able to help him. I don’t think it’s something within him.”
“You believe this to be the injury to the fibers?”
Was that what this was? Could it be that the injury done to the fibers had somehow caused others to have hints of madness? Alyta blamed herself, but Aruhm blamed the groeliin. Which was right?
And why would injury to the fibers cause the madness? What was it about them that would have triggered the madness, and not done so in Jakob, someone who should otherwise be sensitive to it?
There had to be some connection there, but he didn’t know it.
“Aruhn blames injury to the fibers on the groeliin,” Jakob said.
“Perhaps, though Aruhn—like myself—does not have the same ability to touch the fibers. Not like you do.”
Jakob took a deep breath. Was there anything he could do to help him understand? He thought that if he could walk back, if he could glimpse the fibers, he could begin to understand what happened there, but he would need to do it where he could be safe.
Where was safer than here?
Where other than with Anda looking over him, and with the potential of the rest of the daneamiin here who might be able to reach along the fibers to save him if something went wrong?
He pulled his toes out of the water and crossed his legs. “Will you watch over me?”
“Of course, Jakob Nialsen, but what do you think to do?”
Jakob sighed and stared at the calm water. Within that water was warmth, strength. He could feel the ahmaean coming from it, much as he could feel it around everywhere here. If nothing else, he hoped to use the daneamiin lands as something of an anchor, a way to prevent him from slipping too far into the past, and losing himself.
“Focus on my ahmaean,” Jakob said. “If something seems off, try to…”
To what? How could she pull him back if he slipped too deeply into whatever vision he would have by trying to walk along the fibers? What if he wasn’t even successful?
Here he was, thinking that he would manage, and that he would succeed, but all he had was Gareth showing him how to look backward, nothing more than that, and certainly nothing that would make him feel as if he were guaranteed to succeed with what he needed to do.
Still, he had to try. If there was anything he could do, he had to try. He might be the only one remaining who could.
“I will do what I can, Jakob Nialsen.”
Jakob took her hand, and squeezed. That was all he could ask from her.
He tucked his legs underneath him, kneeling in such a way that he could focus on what he intended. As he did, he began to pull on the ahmaean that swirled around him. There was an enormous amount of energy, enough that he could direct it inward, much like Gareth had done in his vision. Jakob thought about what he intended, the way he wanted to move backward along the fibers, and to reach… for what? Did he want to try to find the injured part of the fibers? Did he have another destination in mind? Or was there something else for him? Something he could learn?
Aruhn’s words rang in his mind as he focused the ahmaean.
He needed understanding.
As he pushed, the ahmaean tumbled backward, reaching the fibers of time, and he trailed along them.
Jakob opened his eyes and stood in the midst of a young forest. The sounds and the smells were familiar and pleasant, those of birds chirping and a fresh rain.
He had been in the forest before and had been here in this form. He recognized it immediately, knowing from both his personal experience—and the visions that he’d had here—that this was the heart of the Great Forest.
Why would he come here? Why would this be where the vision would take him?
The thought lingered only a moment, replaced with a sense of victory that he had succeeded.
For the first time, he was in control of pushing himself back along the fibers. It was the first time that he had intentionally walked backward. With that, now he stood here.
Except, he hadn’t managed to simply glimpse along the fibers. This was him fully back.
Was there some way for him to retreat from whoever he had stepped into?
He needed to so that he could learn from whoever this might be. He needed understanding.
Jakob focused on the ahmaean, and started to push, before something stopped him.
Not like that.
The voice came from the back of his mind.
Jakob stood up, looking around, but saw no one. The voice was inside of him. It came from whoever he had assumed control of.
Who are you?
The voice chuckled. You travel the fibers and appear in my body, and you question me? It seems I should be the one asking the questions.
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to come here this completely. I don’t have control over the fibers.
I have seen that. You’ve stepped into me once before, though you did so with much less intensity that time, the voice said.
I did? Who had he stepped into? Was this the man from the north, the one who faced the groeliin? That man had seemed almost angry about the fact that Jakob had intruded. This man seemed amused, and was not surprised by Jakob’s presence here.
Shoren? he asked.
The chuckle came again. Am I so well known in your time that you recognize me?
None of the damahne would be recognized in my time. And I think that I am the last of them.
Shoren’s amusement subsided. The last? How is it that you could be the last?
I don’t know. All I know is the one who preceded me transferred her ahmaean into me.
Perhaps that is why you are able to walk so deeply along the fibers. Those who are able to touch the fibers more completely have always had a g
reater control with their ahmaean.
Strength matters with it? he asked.
Shoren chuckled. Strength matters in all things. Strength allows one to touch the fibers in a way that others cannot. Control over that strength grants the rest. That you have walked back along the fibers tells me that you are both strong, and that you have gained some measure of control.
I barely know what I’m doing. When I have come back in the past, I haven’t done so with any control.
That tells me you have even greater strength than you realize.
Shoren paused, and silence fell between them. Even the birds chirping in the trees had fallen silent, either waiting for Jakob to disappear, or interrupted by their presence.
You came here looking for answers, Shoren said to him.
Jakob breathed out. There was something peaceful about remaining here, even though he was here in Shoren’s form. That peace was relaxing; it filled him, letting him feel like he could simply stay here, yet Jakob knew the danger in that. If he were to stay here, he would overwhelm Shoren, and then both would be lost.
Maybe that wasn’t quite true. If he overwhelmed him, perhaps Jakob would ultimately be lost. Shoren was one of the most skilled damahne, a god among gods as Brohmin had said. He would know how to push Jakob out—at least into the back of his mind. There, perhaps Jakob would fade away, disappearing until he was little more than a memory to Shoren.
I came trying to understand the fibers.
Shoren chuckled. It was something he seemed to do easily. In the visions Jakob had of him, the man had always come across as serious, and with no sense of laughter. This damahne didn’t strike him that way. He seemed to laugh easily, and was more amused by Jakob’s presence than bothered.
I think your presence tells me that you understand the fibers better than you realize.
That’s just it. I don’t understand the fibers. If I had the ability of others, I wouldn’t accidentally step back so fully into the fibers and risk damaging others by my presence.
With me, you are safe enough. I can protect my mind from your presence.
Jakob had to wonder how, and had to wonder what it was that Shoren could do for him.
In my time, the daneamiin tell me that all futures lead to darkness.
The daneamiin?
I… I know of their origin. One of my visions was of Aimielen.
Ah. I have wondered whether others have visited her. I knew that you had come to me once before, but did not know that you walked back to her as well.
It wasn’t intentional.
Oh, I know that it wasn’t. Intentional or not, hopefully, someone in your time has told you that walking back as you do can be dangerous.
That is all I hear.
Good. I won’t tell you the same as you already seem to know it. What I will tell you is that your method of walking the fibers prevents you from accessing knowledge. Unless the person you reach has a strong connection to the fibers themselves, you will always overpower them.
Is that why I can talk to you? Did that mean Gareth had a similar connection to the fibers? Why had he feared Jakob’s presence?
It is. I have always had a robust attachment to the fibers.
What of the possible futures? Do you see nothing but darkness there as well?
I have walked along the fibers many times, but looking forward—glimpsing more than a hint of the possible futures—is never an easy task.
That’s not an answer.
But it is. When you look out toward the distant horizon, what do you see?
Jakob looked around him, but all he saw were the younger trees of the Great Forest. Even now, he could see their ahmaean, some of the power that they would possess later on.
What did he see when he looked beyond them, out toward the distant horizon?
It is blurry, Jakob said. When I look past the trees and the grasses, the rest becomes something of a blur.
Yes. And you have greater eyesight than most. So for you to see little more than a blur, what do you think it’s like when you look at the fibers of time, looking at something that we’re not meant to view quite so easily.
Jakob thought about what Shoren was telling him. Do you mean that all futures are nothing but darkness?
What is darkness but the absence of light? You can’t view where you aren’t yet.
That, at least, made Jakob feel somewhat better. But he still worried about the damage to the fibers.
Can the fibers be injured? Can they be tainted?
What have you witnessed?
I don’t pretend to have the same control over the fibers as others. I don’t pretend that I understand them nearly as well as you. When I was moving forward, after seeing a horde of groeliin, I glimpsed damage to the fibers. It was as if they were scarred, and healed. Even then, there was some darkness that still leaked out.
Jakob could practically imagine Shoren pacing, and he started doing just that. It was an odd sensation, one where both Jakob and Shoren were in control of the body.
The fibers should not ever be tainted. They are neutral. There is nothing dark or light about them. Time is not good nor bad. It simply is.
I know what I detected.
I don’t doubt that, but I don’t have an answer for you. If there is something about the fibers that has been darkened, that is unnatural.
I need to be able to understand.
When it comes to the fibers, there is often nothing that can be understood.
I need to know how to walk the fibers—to control where I go. I feel like it’s my responsibility to fix the damage, if it’s possible.
What you ask is difficult. You have control over your own strand, and nothing more.
But you know more than you share.
I know some.
You are considered one of the most skilled with controlling the fibers, Jakob reminded Shoren.
Shoren chuckled. Flattery will not change the truth. I can grant you my knowledge, but it may be of little use to you.
With that, Shoren did something strange. He tugged on his ahmaean, and there was a shifting within Jakob’s mind, and with it came a transfer, and knowledge poured into him.
Jakob gasped. He suddenly understood how to access the fibers. He understood how to walk backward. He understood how to attempt to look into the future, though even that was difficult for Shoren. Jakob had thought him to be the most skilled with manipulating the fibers—and perhaps he was—but he was not infallible. For that matter, none of the gods were.
Using his newfound knowledge, Jakob retreated. It was a simple thing, a shifting of ahmaean, one where he placed Shoren in control, and sat himself in the back of the damahne’s mind.
Thank you, Shoren said.
I should be the one thanking you, Jakob told him.
I hope you don’t mind, but I borrowed some of your knowledge, and looked into what you have seen. You have no guide because you are the last. I can’t imagine what that must be like. No damahne has lacked a guide.
I’m sure the first damahne did, Jakob said.
Shoren chuckled again. I think I would like you, Jakob.
Well, we are related.
Yes. Distantly at that. There have been… five generations between us by my count.
Only five? It seemed to Jakob that there should be many more than five generations separating him and Shoren, but maybe things were different for the damahne. He knew they had long lives, and though it might have been five generations of damahne, there had been many, many more of man.
Perhaps our accounting of time is different, Shoren said.
Perhaps.
I don’t know if I have given you enough for you to understand how you can help with the damage you see in the fibers. From here, from the past, there is nothing that I can do that can influence the future.
That’s not completely true. You’ve already influenced the future by helping me gain knowledge.
Shoren chuckled again. Interesting. You might have created a workar
ound to a problem that I’ve had.
I imagine it would only work with those who can access the fibers more directly, Jakob said.
Yes. But thankfully, I can.
Jakob wondered what problem Shoren might have, and what he would need assistance with, but Shoren didn’t offer, and Jakob chose not to question it. It was time for him to move forward, to return to his time, to see if there was anything he could do to understand what had happened—and possibly repair it.
You may travel back and speak to me any time, Jakob, Shoren said.
I would like that.
May the Maker grant you peace and his protection.
Jakob didn’t have a response to that, but decided it didn’t matter.
He withdrew. It came slowly and easily, and this time, he had much more control.
He tracked along the fibers, drawn back to his body, detecting the distant sense of it, and knowing that he could reach it. As he did, he focused on the fibers, noting how they seemed bound together, much like Anda had once demonstrated with the stems of leaves.
The fibers were practically a physical thing, and though they were enormous—massive—Jakob had the sense that he’d glimpsed barely a part of them. He traveled along his own strand, the one that bounced from Shoren to the next into the next, onward and onward, slowly making his way back toward himself.
He realized why he hadn’t been able to detect the darkness before. He traveled on one strand, his own. As such, he could only impact himself, and could only influence the strand of the fibers that belonged to him.
Why had Gareth forced him to travel the fibers that showed him that?
Jakob used what Shoren had given him, and traced his way forward, spinning along the woven fibers of time. He reached his parents. From here, he knew that he was close, and all he had to do was step back into himself. He wasn’t quite ready to do that, and instead, studied the fibers, noting the branches from his parents, and saw the one that belonged to Scottan.
Twist of the Fibers (The Lost Prophecy Book 4) Page 22