by T. S. Hill
“So, what do you think Cowboy?”, Lori asked, after I had read the complete report.
“Wow! She put this together in just what? A couple of days? I’ve never seen a more in depth, comprehensive, professional job, in researching and assembling a report like this. And, never a more thorough and professional presentation of data and findings.” I slapped the desk top with my fingers just to express my amazement. “The detail in her data, and the detail in supporting data behind that, is unreal! This girl is an awesome researcher and organizer! Can you imagine how her mind works to put all of these contingencies in cross reference, and understand the relationships, and then clearly, and simply, explain them? Holy shit!”, I shouted.
“No Cowboy, this is a holy “fucking shit” talent! You don’t come across this capability every day! Plus, from the time I spent walking around and questioning her in Crockett, I know also, that she makes my IT skills look freshman! Honestly, I suspect that she probably surpasses most elite hacker’s skills, yours included. It wouldn’t surprise me if she didn’t get some of this info from closed systems, and without leaving a clue that she had breached their system. I believe she’s that good.”
“You’re thinking the same thing that I am, eh?”, I asked.
“Yep!”, Lori quipped back.”
“One more thing before we bring her here, and offer her a position working with us…ah, nah, as an… How did Rosita put it?”
“Independent contractor?”
“Yes!”, I replied. “One more thing before we ask her to join us here as an independent contractor. Holy fucking shit! You know she can take those files of yours and totally organize that shit to slam so many iron doors, on so many more cock suckers, that otherwise, might have gotten away with giant crimes? With just you and me analyzing and organizing it, I’m doubting we’d get half of what she does. This girl is a fucking genius! A for real, certifiable, fucking, MENSA genius! Oh! No offense to present company meant, in using the cock sucker term.”
“None taken! I assume you mean big bad assed gangster men, cock suckers?”, she asked.
“Exactly!”
“I gotcha, Cowboy! No offense taken, for sure! You should hear what I call them!”, she said giggling.
“Anyway!”, I interjected, trying to get back on subject. “I want her here, working with us! But first! I want her running the other genealogy reports that you’ve wanted since we met her, and haven’t asked for.”
“You want me to ask her if she can connect my great grandparents, grandparents, and Mom to her genealogy?”, Lori asked.
“I’m not the one that has unvoiced, and unanswered, concerns about this. I could see your relieved look, when I asked for this first report. I had two reasons for asking for it. Number one, to get closer to the question that was in your mind, that you had hinted all around in Crockett, about just how close a relative Sasha might be.”
“Then of course there was the other thing. No matter how hot, or cool, or beautiful, that Sasha came across, I still picked up something that smacked of underlying nerdiness in her. I wanted to see if there was some talent connected to that nerdiness. And I was damn right! Look, what a jewel we have uncovered!”
“How in fucking hell, did you detect underlying nerdiness Cowboy?”
“Well, the first answer is, that it takes one to know one. I was hacking computers in Japan, before there was a full-blown thing called the internet.”
“How fucking old were you Tagg? Like five?”
“Six to be exact. Colleges and universities had phone line links between their systems, and you could dial in to one and then view their connections and go to another, and then another, until you got, ah hell, more than half way around the world. Nobody had firewalls or intrusion protection back then. It was the wild, wild west! Then the military got the idea to use those college network links to communicate for various nefarious reasons. But that didn’t last, and the internet did. Later, I was also there at a tender age, breaking the backs of big label recording companies, with free sharing music, and videos, and all kinds of other media, software, data secrets, bank accounts, etc.”
“Eventually I encountered a crossroads, where I had to make a decision. Was I going to use my skills to be a pirate, and outlaw, or to be one of the good guys. I decided to use my skills to be one of the good guys. But, only a few years later, I learned that there are no good guys. Just people that are sometimes less bad than the bad guys.” Then, I fell silent. I had run out of words, and run out of motivation to explain myself any further.
After more than a few minutes of silence, Lori spoke, “Cowboy, there are a few good guys still around, not just less evil than some, but really fucking, for real, good guys! I know! And., let me tell you one thing Cowboy, Taggert, Stanley, Hill! You’ll never say or do anything, that will convince me, that you’re anything but one of the last, great, good guys of all time! Your hat will always be white in my eyes! You can fucking well like it or not, but that’s my truth!”
I was silent for a few seconds, and then responded to Lori, “Thanks Sweetheart! That means a lot. Coming from you, that means a whole lot!”
Then after a few more seconds of silence, Lori spoke again, “What was the other answer?”
“What other answer for what?”, I asked, having become lost in my own ramblings into my past.
“I asked you how in fucking hell, did you detect underlying nerdiness in Sasha, and you said, “Well, the first answer is, that it takes one to know one.”, so what’s the second answer?”
“Oh!”, I reacted. “Yeah, that! Heh, heh. Well, do you remember how I was all locked up and couldn’t move or speak when Sasha came into that conference room?”
“Yeah, that was kinda weird Cowboy. What was up with that?”
“Do you remember Sasha being in a trance, staring at my cock and not being able to speak?”, I questioned.
“Yeah, but so?”
“Well the two are one and the same reaction. I’ve occasionally had problems with it since adulthood, but really had problems with it as a child. It’s called social paralysis. Nobody! But, nobody, has that, except, fucking bookworm, computer geek, nerds! Up until about the age of twenty, it really damn near destroyed my life. Fear of my social paralysis dominated my life, when the paralysis wasn’t actually there itself. That day in the library with Sasha, was the first time it’s come back in several years. But there it was, rearing its ugly head. Then again today, when Rosita came to me on the sofa, after you left for the bedroom, I had another milder episode. You can’t ever tell anyone this Lori!”
“Cowboy, you’ve got to believe me when I say, I understand, and wouldn’t reveal this to anyone that you didn’t want me to, but honestly, and just think about it, do you think Sasha or Rosita will care one bit, or change their mind about how they feel about you, if they did find out?”
“Honestly, Lori, I’m pretty sure that Sasha easily recognized it in me already. She’s probably as embarrassed by it as I am, so, I had thought about having a private discussion with her about it. I figure that we can probably be a lot of support, and offer understanding, for each other, at least on that one thing. And, if she’s as big of a computer geek as you think, I can’t wait! I don’t know about sharing with Rosita on this though, she wouldn’t have a clue what it’s like. You see how, out there, she is!”
“Okay, Cowboy, you share with either one or both of them as you see fit, or feel that the timing is right. I’m here to support you, and just let me know when and if I can. Otherwise, I understand and love you! I love you unconditionally! Do you understand that Cowboy?”
“Lori.”, I replied. “Do you not see how I love you?”.
“Of course, I do, Cowboy! I’m just telling you how I feel, just in case I haven’t communicated it all that well lately!”
“You’ve communicated it beyond my expectations, Lori Parsons”, I told her, placing my fingers on her chin and turning her head to face me.
“I love you unconditionally too!”
, I told her, planting a passionate kiss on her lips. “Now do me a favor and email Sasha back, praising the job she’s done, and ask her to see if there is any family genealogical connection between Colonel Andrew W. Adamson and her genealogical line. I want the same kind of report with a concise summary, just as she gave in this one.”
“Tell her I demand that she stick to this style of research, and report, for this new request. Also, get her bank account information, and let her know that I’ll be wiring in, what do you think, seven hundred dollars maybe? Never mind, yes, seven hundred dollars. Then in a new paragraph or section, ask her if she is married to that library job, and would consider relocating to Louisiana to work as a private data research contractor, with me, no, us, as her primary customer.”
“Let her know that we can give her referrals for other clients also. You know what Lori? We also need to get the non-profit set up right away, because a lot of what she will be doing here initially will be connected to the nonprofit, and if you have no objection, the nonprofit could pay its share for her services, and we can pay our share out of our money. So, prep an email also to Steve and get him on setting up the charter, with you as CEO, me, Sasha, Rosita, Aug, and Sally and also yourself, as the board. If that works for you?”
“Who the fuck is Sally?”
“Aug’s wife. “You’ll probably meet her tomorrow. Smart girl! Really sweet too! You’ll like her! Don’t worry! Also send an encrypted, and get out my code book in the center drawer of the desk, and… never mind! When you get all that done, let me know, and I’ll email Al, about what I need next from him and get some info about his problem.”
“Al communicates so damn slowly and poorly that it takes for fucking ever, to just get to the root of whatever his problem is. Anyway, we might can actually take care of it remotely. Especially if little miss IT nerd Sasha comes on board with us! Buy the way! What are your thoughts on her tits? Oh! Yeah! Go ahead and book a date for you and Rosita and Sasha with Rosita’s salon. No wait! Get Sasha’s reply first, and if she indicates that she’s willing to come here, then book it!”
The entire time that I had been talking, Lori had been typing on the keyboard. I wasn’t sure that she had been listening or ignoring me.
“Cowboy?”
“What”.
“I don’t have a phone, to book anything with. And, Steve has emailed back saying he’s on the non-profit setup. You’re right about that code book. You’re going to have to email Al yourself. I’ve looked at that crazy shit, and can’t make fucking heads, or tails, of it! Sasha might though. Who, by the way, has emailed back already also, and says that she’s ready to tell the library to bite her ass, on your say so, and can be on the bus tomorrow after she emails your report. She expects she will have it around two in the morning. What do you want me to tell her? Oh yeah, she says the departure schedule for the bus is three twenty in the morning, and are you going to spring for the ticket cost of seventy-five dollars, that her coins are short right now.
“Fuck!”, I shouted. The little mercenary! Did you tell her that I’ll be wiring seven hundred fucking dollars into her account, and then more when I get the report?”
“Yes. She said her bank won’t be crediting it for her use or withdrawal for twenty-four hours.”, Lori replied.
“Oh, fuck it! Okay then. Get the blue card from my wallet and pay for the fucking ticket! Just get that report from her and get her out here, so she can get to work on that mountain of evidence of yours!
“I just got her reply, and she’s on it!”, Lori quipped.
“Are you shitting me? Are you guys really emailing back and forth that quickly?”
“Look at the screen!”, Lori shot back at me, while she typed a zillion miles an hour.
“Hold up! Hold up!”, I shouted. “Book her bus ticket from Crockett Texas to Lafayette Louisiana. Find out when she will arrive in Lafayette, and fuck if I’m not having a brain fart, and can’t remember how long it will take us to get to Lafayette!”, I spewed.
“That’s according to just where the fuck we’re located, Lori said. I haven’t had time to fucking figure that out yet! But it’s two hours and eight minutes to New Orleans by the northern route on I-10 or…” . I interrupted Lori there.
“The southern route along highway ninety, we are, just say near Lake Salvador, and Bayou Gauche.”, I snapped back.
“Then approximately an hour and a half, to an hour and forty-five minutes from here to Lafayette?”, Lori offered.
“Sounds about right! Book her ticket, and set our alarm clock so we can leave to go pick her up on time. I don’t want her coming in to New Orleans. Lafayette will be just fine! I have friendly contacts there!” Oh! And, email Steve again and have him hold those documents, and not send them to the OCTC! I want Sasha gleaning that stuff, and researching anything in it she sees fit, before it goes to the feds! We’re really going to get us some gangster ass!”, I snapped, finally ending my stream of manic inquiries and orders.
“Anything else, sir?”, Lori requested in a sarcastically respectful, military style.
“Yes! I snapped at her. “I may have a little case of social phobia manifested by social paralysis, but I am “el hombre a cargo” when it comes to this business!
“Cowboy?”, Lori answered back, as far as I’m concerned, you are “el hombre a cargo” in everything. I don’t give a damn about phobias and social paralysis! Just as long as it doesn’t affect your trigger finger when you need it!”
“It hasn’t yet, Lori!”
“Well, then what the hell has it to do with anything else? I’ve already seen that it doesn’t affect the performance of your dick!”, she commented.
“Cock!”, I shot back.
“Dick!”, Lori yelled back.
“Cock! Always cock!”, I yelled at her.
Then a voice came from behind us, “Señor Cock y señorita Deek! Will southern country fried steak, brown gravy, collard greens and ham hock, Cole slaw, pickled peppers, and corn bread, will you like for dinner?”, Rosita asked.
“I’d take a cock up the fucking ass for a dinner like that!”, Lori drawled back.
“And you, Senior Cock?”, Rosita teased.
“I’m not taking a cock up my ass for anything! But for your country style steak, Rosita? I might just risk it!”, I joked with the both of the women.
“Then, bend over Senior Cock! I now have the steak on the stove!”, Rosita teased.
“You know, I’ve got an idea of how to plug Rosita into sharing the wealth also.”, I said to Lori after Rosita had left the room. “And I think she would be great to get involved in the orphan operations, beyond the board”, I offered.
“Yeah, me too!”, Lori answered. “I’m really beginning to love her Cowboy!”
“Then you won’t mind if I fall slightly in love with her also?’, I replied.
“How could I Cowboy?”, she questioned. “As long as I’m your number one, and you keep loving me? That’s all that matters to me! Besides, I think you were already somewhat, at least a little, in love with her, before you even met me, but, couldn’t break through your nerd rule!”
“Yeah, you’re right Lori. How fucked up is that?”
“It’s not fucked up at all Cowboy! It’s part of why I love you! The other part is because you love me! That may seem weird, or fucked up too! But, I don’t give a damn! As long as we’re happy with each other, who gives a flying fuck what anybody else thinks? Deal?”
“What are we making a deal over?”, I asked.
“Loving each other, and not giving a flying fuck what anyone else thinks about it!”, She shouted.
“Why, sure! Deal!”, I yelled back at her. She jumped out of my desk chair, throwing her arms around my neck and kissed me just as passionately as she usually does. And, then lightly pinched my ass. I suppose to let me know she was serious?
I sat in the chair and showed Lori how to use the code book to construct and deconstruct emails. After I sent the encrypted, and coded, email to Al, w
e went back to sorting Lori’s evidence documents into what we thought were relevant and not relevant piles.
“Lori noted that we should let Sasha go through the irrelevant stack, as a last sort, just to be sure that we didn’t overlook anything that her nerd mind might pick up on, that our minds didn’t. I thought that would be a perfectly, second guessing, nerdy, thing to do, and agreed.
“By the way.” I asked her. “When do we need to leave here to be able to pick up Sasha on time tomorrow?”
“Cowboy, just give me a fucking minute here! You, el hombre a cargo!“, she teased. We weren’t doing a very good job of keeping our hands off of each other after that, and it seemed like no time, before Rosita called us to dinner.
When we went in to dinner, Rosita had changed into her housekeeper uniform, a grey, drab, formless, uniform style dress, and her sneakers. Her hair was pinned up again, as was her custom when she cooked. She only had two places set at the table, and Lori cut her eyes at me with a “what the fuck is going on here?’ look. I pulled out Lori’s chair and helped pull it to the table. Afterwards, I took my seat but did not pull my chair up to the table.
“Rosita!”, I barked at her. Bring to me the large spoon that you have for the collard greens!” Within a few seconds, Rosita appeared beside me with the spoon in her outstretched hand. I immediately snatched the spoon from her grasp, and placing my arm behind her waist, throwing her face down across my lap. Pulling the hem of her dress up over her ass, I snatched her panties below her brown cheeks, and began applying alternating hard smacks to each cheek with the huge wooden spoon. Lori looked horrified, and Rosita shrieked, but did not resist. When I was satisfied that each cheek was sufficiently red to leave as a sore reminder, I stopped.
Dropping the large spoon on the table, I began to lightly and gently rub her ass cheeks with my open right hand. As I instinctively slid my left hand up her back, to massage and sooth her, I realized that she was quietly sobbing.
“Rosita,”, I began. “Listen to me very carefully. You wish to be an independent contractor, and for me to be your client. That is fine! When you clean and sort my house, and cook, you are an independent contractor, and you get paid as such. But now, you are also a member of my household! When you are in my bed, you do not get paid, because you are at home, in my household. When we eat here, we all eat as a household. You do not get paid as an independent contractor to be a part of my household.”