by Lori Wilde
Jodi took a deep breath, let it out slowly.
“That’s right,” the masseuse encouraged. “Let go.”
Letting go was scary. Sure, she’d done it as bold Gwendolyn, but that had been a persona. This was the real her. Uptight Jodi Carlyle. Letting go meant she was opening herself to the possibility of screwing up, making mistakes, getting hurt. What if she said the wrong thing? What if she said something she didn’t really mean? What if she felt something she couldn’t explain? What if she completely lost control? And what if, once the control was lost, she went completely off the rails and turned into her biological mother?
Control.
She was terrified of losing it because she feared losing everything and being that lost four-year-old again. Alone and helpless. That was the root of her fear.
At five that afternoon, all the bachelorette party attendees sat relaxing by the fire at the Lodge for happy hour cocktails. Jodi was sipping a peppermint toddy. They’d spent the day being pampered, massaged, exfoliated, trimmed, and manicured.
“Did anyone else have the hot stone massage?” Suki asked. “Heav-en-ly.”
Everyone started talking about their experiences, but Jodi was only half listening. She couldn’t get her mind off the simple massage Jake had given her in the bathtub. She could taste the salt of his skin on her tongue, feel the brush of his beard stubble against her cheek, smell lavender and vanilla and magic.
“Jo?” Kasha leaned over to snap her fingers in front of her face.
“What?” Jodi blinked as if a fog had parted and realized everyone was staring at her.
“You were daydreaming about Jake, weren’t you?” Suki accused.
“No.”
“You do realize you get a little quiver to your head when you lie,” Kasha said.
“What?” Jodi reached up to touch her head. “I do not.”
“But you checked to see if you do.” Suki pointed at her. “She gotcha.”
“That’s okay.” Breeanne leaned over the big hassock to pat Jodi’s knee. “I know exactly how you feel. I wish Rowdy was here right now.”
“I’m not pining for Jake. Jeez. Why would you even think that?” Jodi sat up straighter, the mild buzz she had going on from the toddy ebbing away.
“Because of the prophecy,” Breeanne said. “He smelled your scent and he’s smitten.”
“That’s just nuttiness,” Jodi said.
“What prophecy?” one of Rowdy’s sisters asked.
Breeanne was off. Telling the story about how she found the hope chest and the wish she’d made on it. The women who hadn’t heard the story before listened enrapt.
“What did you wish for when you found the perfume?” Rowdy’s sister asked.
A wild sexual adventure. And it had come true. But she wasn’t about to tell them that.
“Look at the time.” Jodi glanced at her cell phone. “Our dinner reservations are for six. Let’s head that way.”
But what the women didn’t know was that the men had planned their bachelor party too … and at the same place. But instead of hitting the spa, they’d spent their day at a skeet-shooting tournament. Then they rode around the ranch on ATVs and finished off with a dinner of wild game. It was the wrong time of year for a real hunting party, so they hadn’t done any more shooting, but Jake didn’t care. He wasn’t much for hunting anyway.
But by eight p.m. they were left with nothing much to do and Jake was starting to feel like a crappy best man, even though Warwick was the one who’d actually planned the weekend. Talbot wanted to drive to the nearest strip club, but Rowdy shut that down pronto.
“There’s only one woman I want to see naked,” Rowdy said.
“Good God, you are cracked in the head,” Talbot exclaimed. “Breeanne is a nice-looking woman and all, but this is your last weekend as a free man. Cut loose!”
“Dude,” Rowdy shook his head. “You just don’t get it. You’re clueless, man.”
Talbot grunted. “You’re whacked. With all the fish in the sea, why get stuck on just one?”
Jake got it.
“One of these days some woman is going to turn you inside out, Talbot,” Rowdy said. “And you’ll finally understand what love is all about. I don’t want to be with anyone else but Breeanne.”
“Pussy-whipped,” Talbot said, and meowed.
And everyone pummeled him with soft fists just because he was asking for it.
“So what?” Talbot asked. “We gonna sit around and paint each other’s toenails?”
“I’ll have a beer or two at the Lodge Nightclub,” Rowdy said. “It is still early. Let me just text Breeanne good night.”
“You text her one more time and I’m throwing your phone in the next toilet,” Talbot threatened.
Reluctantly, Rowdy tucked the phone back in his jacket pocket.
The Lodge Nightclub was open to the public and the eight of them walked into a packed house. Music throbbed. Strobe lights flashed. People gyrated on the dance floor. It was going to be hard to find a place for all eight of them to sit.
“Catch you later,” Talbot said. “I see Suki.”
“What do you mean,” Rowdy said. “Suki is supposed to be away with Breeanne for her bachelorette weekend.”
“Don’t look now,” Talbot said. “But Breeanne is here too. Guess they booked the spa while we booked the hunting lodge.”
“You didn’t know they’d be here?” Jake asked Rowdy.
“No. The parties were supposed to be a surprise for Breeanne and me. You didn’t know either? You’re best man. I thought you and Jodi would have talked about it.”
“Warwick had already made the arrangements,” Jake reminded him. “I just made sure we all showed up on time.”
“No worries.” Rowdy’s face lit up, and to Talbot he said, “Where is my Breezy?”
Talbot rolled his eyes. “This cutesy nickname stuff makes me want to hurl.”
“You’re just jealous,” Rowdy said.
“Wait.” Jake put a hand to Rowdy’s shoulder. “Is it bad luck for you to see Breeanne tonight?”
“Quit being a buzz-kill, Coronado,” Talbot accused. “If he’s determined to see her, let him see her.”
“Nah,” Rowdy assured Jake. “The bad luck thing is for the day of the wedding. It doesn’t apply to the bachelor party.” He frowned, twisted his lips to one side, considering. “At least I don’t think it does.”
Jake glanced around the nightclub. If Breeanne and Suki were here, Jodi would be too.
He spied her immediately. Hair cut in that gorgeous auburn bob, wearing a hot green dress with a flared skirt that twirled when she moved. She was coming back from the bar with a tray of drinks in her hand as if she’d helped out the cocktail waitress by delivering them. He grinned. That sounded like his Jodi.
His Jodi.
Which was pretty damn presumptuous of him, especially since he had no idea where they stood after she ran out on him Thursday evening.
She glanced up and his eyes met hers, and a slow smile like the sun rising dawned across her face. And in his chest, he felt the same magical miracle stir.
Sweet Jesus, he’d missed her and it had been only forty-eight hours since he’d last had contact with her.
Still smiling, she ducked her head and started passing out drinks to the ladies around two tables. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and took the tray back to the bar. Jake’s gaze trailed after her. More than anything in the world he wanted to go over, but he didn’t know where they stood and they were both here with others and …
Hey!
A blond bodybuilder type standing at the bar leaned over and touched Jodi’s shoulder. He said something. She leaned in closer. He spoke again. She laughed. And then the guy tilted his head back and cut his head sideways to ogle Jodi’s butt.
Jake’s fists clenched.
Then Jodi put her hand in his and the guy led her out onto the dance floor. What? Shit. No. She was dancing with the guy?
Hot,
deep green jealousy rolled over him and he stalked across the room, almost running people over to get to her. He squeezed onto the dance floor, tapped the guy on the shoulder. “I’m cutting in.”
The blond guy scowled. “Buzz off, buddy.”
Jake tightened his muscles, set his best get-the-hell-out-of-Dodge-if-you-don’t-want-a-bloodbath expression on his face, his hands knotted. “I’m cutting in,” he repeated, slower, harder, louder.
The guy sized him up, then raised both palms and backed off. “Be my guest.”
Jake turned to Jodi.
She gave him a look similar to the one his mother used to give him when she was displeased with his behavior. But when he held out his hand to her, she took it and gave a rueful shake of her head.
“Men,” she muttered, and rolled her eyes, but he could tell she was trying not to smile. She liked that he’d chased off her potential suitor.
“Why didn’t you tell me the bachelorette party was being held at the Lodge?” he asked as he twirled her around the dance floor, enjoying the way her skirt swirled against her legs as they moved.
“Why didn’t you tell me the bachelor party was at the Lodge?”
“We had other things to talk about,” he said.
“Like what a control freak I am?”
Uh-oh. Were they going to fight again? “Among others,” he said.
“I want you to listen to me carefully,” she said. “Because I don’t very often admit something like this …”
“All ears.” He leaned in closer.
“You’re right.”
“About what?”
“I’m a control freak and I was running away from you because I’m scared.”
“What?” He acted shocked. “You’re admitting you have a problem?”
“I didn’t say it was a problem, I just realized that yes, maybe, sometimes I can be a bit stubborn.”
“A bit?” He hooted.
She scowled as if she might enjoy yanking hard on his tie. “I thought you’d be a more gracious winner.”
“Oh, I haven’t won anything yet.”
“What do you mean? I just copped to my biggest flaw.”
“That wasn’t my goal. I already knew your biggest flaw and wanted you anyway.”
She cocked her head, slanted a glance up at him through half-lowered lashes. He tightened his arm around her waist, enjoying the feel of her in his arms as they danced. “What was your goal?”
“To get you to get serious about us.”
“You’re asking a lot,” she said.
“I know. Agree anyway.”
“Or else what?”
Jake laid it on the line. “You’ll break my friggin’ heart.”
Jodi looked up into his handsome face, at the way his hair fell over his forehead, at the sad but sincere smile curling hesitantly at his lips and the I’m-not-kidding-expression in his eyes and she fell for it all, hook, line, and sinker.
“Let’s get out of here,” she said. “It’s hard to talk and dance at the same time. Besides, the music’s too loud.”
She took him by the hand and led him from the nightclub. They claimed their coats on the way out and walked back hand in hand toward the Lodge. It was official. They were in a relationship no matter what fib she’d been telling herself.
“I’m afraid I’m a terrible best man,” he said. “I’ve just abandoned Rowdy at his own bachelor party.”
“He’s with Breeanne,” she said. “He doesn’t mind.”
“You’re not going to beat yourself up for walking out on Breeanne’s bachelorette party?” he asked.
“Are you not paying attention? I admitted I’m a control freak. I’m purposefully walking out to prove I can let go.”
“Well done,” he said, and squeezed her hand. “I know it’s not easy for you.”
“Look, I’m not even casting a backward glance to make sure the building isn’t burning down without me there to keep watch.”
“Progress.” He raised a finger in the air.
“Now,” she said. “What were you telling me?”
He stopped walking and drew her into his arms. It was a clear night and the moon was shining brightly, a silver beacon in the sky. She shivered. He pulled her closer, opened his coat, wrapped it around her. She slipped her arms around his waist, felt his warmth, heard the reassuring lub-dub of his heart.
“I tried doing it your way,” he said. “Just sex. But it didn’t work for me. After Maura …” He paused.
The pause was an arrow through her heart because she knew he was thinking about his dead wife. And she shouldn’t be, couldn’t be jealous of a woman who’d died so young and tragically. He had loved Maura. Jodi could see it on him, but it wasn’t a desperate clinging. Rather it was a soft, wistful sadness for what might have been, but he wasn’t wallowing in his loss. He was still living life. The fact he was capable of loving so deeply was a positive sign. Because of his loss, there was an appealing masculine sensitivity to him that a lot of men would never achieve. Some men would never let themselves love so hard, perceiving tenderness as a weakness. Some, like Ryan, were incapable of loving at all. Dr. Jeanna had declared, with the caveat that she couldn’t diagnose Ryan because she’d never treated him, that Jodi’s ex was a narcissist.
“What does that make me for loving a man like that?” Jodi had asked.
Dr. Jeanna had smiled gently and said, “Human.”
“After Maura,” Jake started again, “I went through a crazy phase. Lots of casual hookups to numb the pain.”
Zing! Zing! More arrows implanted in her chest. Please, don’t tell me more.
“Then I realized I was just using sex to cloak my emotions, so I stopped having sex and dealt with my grief and found acceptance and I was ready to move on. Days at a time would go by where I wouldn’t think of her. I even started to forget what she looked like and …” He took a deep breath. “Then came you …”
Because I looked like her? Jodi wondered, but told herself to let it go.
“You made me feel fully alive again and I wanted more. Can you give me more, Jodi? Because if you can’t, we have to stop having sex. It’s not enough for me. Not where you’re concerned.”
“What …” She gulped, moistened her lips, felt the sting of cold air on her mouth. “What exactly are you suggesting?”
“I think we should start dating officially. Exclusively,” he added. “Although we could wait until after the wedding to let people know were dating, so we don’t detract from Rowdy and Breeanne’s big day.”
“Keeping our affair secret doesn’t matter anymore. Everyone already knows we’re seeing each other,” she said. “Apparently, we weren’t fooling anyone.”
“How did they find out? We were really careful.”
“It’s my fault actually. I should never have told my sisters you could smell my perfume.”
He wrinkled his nose, laughed, his eyes aglow in the moonlight. “You’re so cute when you don’t make sense.”
“You can smell my perfume,” she repeated, and explained about the hope chest and the perfume and the wish she’d made. He listened. She babbled. Then she thought, Oh no, he’s going to think that I think we’re fated. “Of course, I don’t believe in it,” she rushed to add. “There’s no such thing as fate or soul mates or—”
He cocked his head to one side, studied her for a long moment like he was contemplating the mysteries of life. “Why not?”
That took her aback. “You believe it?”
“I’m keeping an open mind. How else do you explain that only you and I can smell that great perfume that makes me want to tear the clothes right off your hot bod?”
She gave him the explanation Breeanne had given her, still surprised that he was weighing in on the side of the hope chest myth. Then again, he was a baseball player and they were notoriously superstitious.
“Your wish came true,” he said. “That’s kind of random if it’s not related in some way to the hope chest, whether it’s a self-fu
lfilling prophecy or something else.”
“Actually, my wish didn’t come true,” she said. “I wished for a wild sexual adventure but, ta-da, I got a relationship instead. I did not wish for a relationship.”
“But you got a relationship with a sexual adventure. Doesn’t that mean it not only came true, but it came true in a much bigger way than you ever dreamed?”
Suddenly, Jodi realized there wasn’t a molecule of oxygen in the air. That had to be it. Why else was she feeling so dizzy?
“True,” she admitted, loving the fizzy feeling exploding inside her chest. “I’d invite you back to my room, but I’m sharing with Breeanne.”
“I can wait.”
“You’re a patient man.”
“When it’s something worth waiting for.” He kissed her and his lips tasted sweeter than ever. “Yes, I am.”
“I don’t have your strength of will.”
“Sweetheart, you’ve got more strength of will in one strand of that gorgeous red hair than I have in my entire body. When can we get together again?”
“I’m slammed this next week,” she said.
“Me too. I finished renovating the bathroom yesterday and a real estate agent is coming out Monday to list it.”
“We’re going to have to wait until after the wedding to get together again.”
“Dammit,” he said.
“I know,” she whispered.
“But we will get to see each other at the rehearsal dinner.”
“Maybe a quickie in the coat closet?” she teased.
“Behave,” he said. “We can do this.”
“Only because I’m a control freak.”
“Probably.” He laughed.
And then he kissed her again. For a long, long time.
CHAPTER 22
Jodi Carlyle’s Wedding Crasher Rules: At some point
there’s bound to be drama, have an escape plan.
The following Friday, after the wedding rehearsal at the church, the wedding party reconvened for dinner at Vincente’s. It was the best dinner place in Stardust, where else would they go? When Jodi passed by the coat closet, she blushed hotly, ducked her head, and grinned.
When Jake walked into the room with Rowdy and Talbot, her heart leapfrogged and she blushed even hotter. His gaze swept over the room, and when he spied her, a huge smile eclipsed his face. Jodi smiled back feeling like she’d been wandering in the darkness for a hundred years and the sun had finally shown up to light the way.