by Voss Foster
a pure soul. No one here deserves to die, but I think him, least of all. I don't know the others forced into here, but David was purely good.
It was quick. In the dark, I hardly saw the movement. Only in hindsight do I remember it clearly. By the time I saw it, it was too late. The dark figure was on David. I saw a flash of light burst through David's back. It took me a moment before I realized that it was something more than simple light, that it had broken all the way through his body and fell to the ground in. The grass flared where the light fell to the ground, then sputtered out.
I am ashamed to write it here, but I allowed my fear to overcome my judgment. I ran back inside, flicked off the lights, and locked the door. A stupid, panicked move, turning off the lights. But they didn't notice the change and didn't notice me, as best I can tell. Otherwise, I would likely have died before ever typing this journal.
I watched through the window. I could not see much, but I caught a few more things by the dim light of the burning grass. More flashes of light to let me see more parts of David's body separating. It was a man, judging by the shape, although I could be wrong. He was a sadist, though. He kept blowing David apart, long after he had died.
A woman came up a short time after the man stopped. They talked for a few minutes and she bent down to examine David's body. I can only think she was looking for the medallion. Luckily, it was not there. It flew with his head and disappeared in the dark. I am thankful that they were unable to get it. I hardly think that they need more power.
Now, I am alone. These days shall be difficult for me. I only hope that I can make it through in one piece. But if not, I hardly think it would come as a surprise, to myself or anyone else.
ENTRY END
TO Marta Evenstad , Frederick Evenstad
FROM: Niels Evenstad
SUBJECT: Media Coverage
SENT: 2/2/2074 AT 12:02 p.m. EST
Brother, Sister.
I wanted to keep you abreast of the progress, as you two hold the greatest interest in this endeavor. I've spoken with Stian, and he's agreed to provide favorable coverage of the coming events in The Cruise. If we can win public opinion through the news, what we plan to do will be much simpler, when it comes time.
Niels Evenstad
Chief Operating Officer, Evenstad Media
Mrs. Lopez,
In accordance with the contract signed by your brother David Mae for participation in 'The Park,' Evenstad Media is obligated to pay the expenses for the beneficiaries named therein, in the event of Mr. Mae's death.
Enclosed, please find a check written for the amount of $50,000. These checks will be delivered biannually until you request that payments cease or in the event of your death.
We're sorry for your loss.
Evenstad Media
10
JOURNAL 03BLAKE
ENTRY 004
DATE: 1/31/2074
I met this girl after I killed that guy. It's been really good for me. She's helping me get through all the things in my head. All the stuff I keep thinking. Without her, I don't know how I'd be getting through any of this.
I kind of liked it. I mean, I didn't like killing him. I don't know. It was like something releasing. Or maybe something snapping. I can't really decide which it was. But there was suddenly this lack of tension. Maybe because I'd been planning it and focusing on it so hard, and then it was just done. I guess that's probably what it was. But I didn't like it. I don't like it. The killing. I liked the release. I'm not even making sense to me.
That's why Rita's been so great. She's talked me through it. This is just a game. Everything I'm doing is just a game. None of it is really me. She even pointed out that there's no way that Evenstad Media's really letting us kill each other. Especially not on TV. That's just crazy. I was just too stupid to see it on my own.
But that doesn't change what I did. I didn't know that I wasn't killing him when I did it. I killed that guy. It seemed way too real to be faked, too. I mean, the way he kind of flew apart. I've already puked three times thinking about that.
I don't know. I really don't get how it could all be faked. I don't understand a lot of things that are going on right now. Rita's one of those things, too. I mean, I think she's into me. Like, really into me. And she's way out of my league, so I don't get it. She's absolutely out of my league. But she's being so nice. Really nice. And touchy. Physical touchy.
It's nice. It helps take my mind off of what I did. And the fact that I'll probably have to do it again. The killing thing, not the touching. Real or not, that blood smell just isn't going to go away. I know that for sure. I can smell it in my sleep, and I've already showered and scrubbed twice. It's not on my body at this point. It's just… there. Maybe with soap. Or maybe it's just stuck there in my head.
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 04JUSTICE
ENTRY 004
DATE: 2/08/2074
Well, the decision got fucking made for me, I guess. I've got to leave this place and head out into the park. It's for Desiree. Logic be damned, I guess. I'm attached to her, as much as I don't want to be. And she's not doing very fucking well. The last few days, she's been really quiet. Not that she ever talked too much, but it's been almost silent. When she does talk, it's very slow. Sometimes she doesn't even respond when I ask a direct question. It's fucking scary, and it doesn't bode very well for her. She's not going to be able to fend for herself. She wasn't all that capable before, really, but now she doesn't have a hope. Which means that I'm responsible for her. At least that's how it goes in my head. I know I shouldn't give two shits about this girl, but here I am, fixing to leave my safety behind just so I can try to ensure that she stays alive. I'm telling you. Fucking damaged women. They're my downfall.
According to that letter I got when I woke up here, there's more of these weird-ass medallion things out in the park. I don't know, maybe they're not worth it. Maybe I won't even be able to find one of them. I doubt that these people just left them lying on the fucking ground. I know I haven't seen one yet. I'm taking Desiree's with me when I leave, too. Being invisible can't hurt. I don't know for sure how long it lasts, but I'd rather have it than not. I don't have any kind of watch, but I'm going to try and keep the trips short. I'm worried about leaving her alone too long. Damn me. Damn her. Damn this whole fucking thing. But mostly damn me and my pathological need to help a damsel in distress. Cause I tell you what, Desiree is damn sure distressed.
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 10MANFRED
ENTRY 005
DATE: 2/06/2074
It has been too long since I have felt safe enough to write a journal. I know that I should do it daily. I know that. But I have been otherwise occupied. I knew that I could not stay in the same house. It was a risk that I was unwilling to take. As much as David's death affected me, my survival is now of more importance than my mourning. I'm certain I won't be able to hold back my grief much longer. Not now that I have assured a relative measure of safety for myself.
I can thank the military for one thing, at least. The training I received is now proving useful. I have managed to cover my own trail, I believe. At least, I have not yet been found. I could not move quickly, nor far, but I was able to find a new house to stay in. I do not move much. I keep the curtains drawn. There is little point to having them open, anyway. No sunlight to let in. I still stay below the windows as much as possible, and the lights are only on when I absolutely cannot avoid it.
I am concerned over my health, however. Much more than before. While I still do not expect to survive this ordeal, I would hope for a faster death than starvation. I can only force myself to eat small amounts. Too much and I throw it all up. I can feel the weakness, a shiver and ache in my limbs any time I dare try to move. I have considered strongly ending it myself. It would be kinde
r to me and it might save someone the trouble of dirtying their soul. But, at least today, I have not been able to make the final leap over that line. The idea however, is there. I cannot honestly believe that, at some point, it will not become more prevalent, the voice more powerful. One day soon, it may even sound reasonable. But for now, such a death seems too terrifying.
ENTRY END
JOURNAL 02CHRISTINA
ENTRY 003
DATE: 2/09/2074
So, I've had a moment of self-discovery. It's not as great as that makes it sound, though. I've realized that even though Julia's a bit of an idiot, I might rival her in that regard. I realized that I might be sticking around for more than the food. That's all I thought it was. I don't know about that, I guess. If I'm being honest, since it's just me here, I think I knew that there was something else going on. Not just the food. But I either didn't want to admit it to myself or I didn’t quite understand it. I would hardly think I would be the type to fall for someone as totally useless as her, especially not with everything being so important as it is right now. She can't afford to ignore what's going on, and I can't afford to be saddled with someone intentionally ignorant like her. But I also can't afford to be missing as much work as I have. The company needs me and I've been gone for a month. But that's happening. And apparently this is happening, too.
I don't notice it when I'm with her, though. Which is pretty scary as it is, not noticing everything that's going on