No response.
“It’s the best dunker, and you don’t even dunk your cookies.”
Kate shrugged her shoulders.
Stop trying so hard, will you? Darcy chided herself.
“Is Glynnis Bidwell a dunker?” Wow, you could have chopped the cookies with the edge in Kate’s voice. Darcy was guessing even Kate was surprised at how sharp it sounded.
“I…um…I don’t know actually.”
Kate looked up. Darcy felt like it was the first time she’d really made eye contact since she walked in the door. Kate had that look, the one that showed she was testing the truth of Darcy’s words—evaluating if it was just a polite lie to spare her feelings.
“I’ve never actually seen her drink anything…dunkable. I mean nothing hot. She just drinks vats and vats of ice tea. So, there are cookies involved, but no actual submerging takes place.” It was the truth. Darcy hoped Kate could see that. “I’m not dunking with another woman, if that’s what you’re asking.” It was supposed to be a joke, but it came out all wrong.
“I’m not asking.” Kate’s voice was tight and curt. More uncomfortable silence.
I don’t deserve this, Darcy thought, snapping her cookie in half. I didn’t do anything wrong. I get to have other friends, don’t I? She needed every friend she could find lately, not someone who was going to ask her to punch a time clock. Why did this have to be so hard all of a sudden? Darcy let her cookie fall onto the table and sat back in her chair. “What’s going on here anyway?” she blurted out, hurt and angry.
Kate eyed her. “I could ask you the same thing, Darcy.”
“Ask me? How can you not know what’s going on with me? My life is turning itself inside out and you know it. You’ve been beside me for half of it. I’m trying to put all these nutty pieces together, to keep my family from imploding in on itself, to figure out what my dad thought he was doing, to figure out what I’m going to do about it, and you ask me what’s going on?” An old lady buying English breakfast tea turned to glare at them. Darcy lowered her voice. “I’m hanging on by my fingernails, that’s what’s going on.” She let out an exasperated sigh. “How did…Why has it gotten so weird between us lately?”
Kate sat back and crossed her arms. “How would I know? I haven’t seen enough of you to know what’s gotten weird. I hardly see you at all. You’re off with Glynnis Big Bucks or lawyers or tax gurus or whoever it is you see to solve all those family fortune problems you’ve got now.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?”
“You think I’m having fun with this? You think I’m running around shopping for tiaras? There’s miles of paperwork and Jack is a walking ball of tension and I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing. It rots, and the last thing I need is you turning on me because I have lunch with Glynnis.”
“Do you stand Glynnis up for lunch, too? Or is it just me?”
“I do not stand you up for lunch.”
“You have, Dar. Twice in the last month alone. Okay, once was for here, but you’ve brushed me off twice this month.” Kate whipped out her pocket calendar, ready to prove her point. “Once on September 28 and again on October 9.”
Kate was right. Darcy knew it the moment the dates were spoken. She had brushed her off. Not intentionally, but forgotten just the same. But, come on, Kate could have called. Could have said something. Could have done something than just sit there and stew on it. “You’re keeping score?” she snapped out.
“I never thought I’d have to.”
“Do you have any idea how complicated things are for me right now?”
“No, I’m sure I couldn’t imagine.” Kate’s smug edge was really starting to get on her nerves. She hadn’t asked for any of this.
“I’m not any different. I’m still here, Kate, it’s still me.”
“You are different, Dar. You’re really different. You’re so far away I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. Wake up. It’s all changed and it’s not going back to whatever it was before.”
“No. Things have gotten complicated, but they haven’t changed. Look, I’m sorry about those days, but it’s not like I’m intentionally ignoring you.”
Kate stared into her teacup. “Did you know that Thad broke his finger? That Don got passed over for a promotion two weeks ago? That my aunt’s been diagnosed with breast cancer? Did you know any of those things, Dar?”
Darcy couldn’t respond.
“No you didn’t know any of that because you weren’t around. You’re…well, you’re around less now than when you were dealing with Paul. You’re off on your big quest, making your new friends, and the rest of us are just standing around watching.” Kate grabbed a cookie, pointing at Darcy with it. “Do you know how many people in the neighborhood lost their jobs last month? Five. Five, Dar. But you don’t see it. I know you’re going through a lot, but the rest of us aren’t exactly having a picnic of it, either.”
What do you say to a speech like that? Darcy’s throat started to tighten. She didn’t have the emotional skin to take that kind of a lashing right now. “It’s not like that,” she finally said, almost in a whimper.
“It is. It is and I hate it.”
A long, raw silence hung between them. Darcy stared at the table. Kate stared out the window. Darcy wanted to both hug Kate and punch her in the stomach. Kate couldn’t turn on her now. She needed Kate too much. Or not enough. Oh Lord, how did this get so messy?
“I…” she started softly, completely at a loss for what to say.
Kate sniffed and grabbed her purse. “I gotta go. I didn’t want to get into this but…look, I just got to go.”
Darcy grabbed her arm. “Kate, don’t…”
Kate pulled away. “Not now, Dar. Maybe later, but not now.” She hurried out the door without a single look back.
Darcy sat, staring at the two remaining cookies. She wanted to throw them across the room. To kick the table over, to stand in the doorway and yell “It’s not my fault!” to the universe.
Eating two cookies was a poor substitute, but it was easier to stop yourself from crying when your mouth was full.
Jack hit the Send button on his e-mail, trying not to wince. Oh, well, better to do it electronically than in person. Still, he didn’t see how there was any good way to relay to his boss the news that their largest client had just cut this quarter’s order in half.
Everybody was cutting their orders in half. Some were cutting them out altogether. Parco Industries’ remaining half an order had been a testament to the strength of the relationship Jack had built with them.
At least Jack hoped his boss would see it that way. The stress was really getting to some of his staff.
He couldn’t blame them. It was getting to him, too.
He caught the reflection of an unfamiliar shadow in his monitor and spun his chair around to see someone standing in his doorway.
His wife.
And something was very wrong. She’d been crying—or trying not to cry, he guessed. She’d held herself together through the front lobby and down the hallway and was going to make it about four inches into his office before it all came loose. What in the world…?
“Dar? Hon, what’s wrong?” He jumped up and pulled her into the office, his hands holding her wobbling shoulders steady. He kicked the office door shut with his foot and steered her into the guest chair. Thankfully, he hadn’t been planted in some cubicle yet—he still rated four walls and a door—for now.
She started to shake her head. “Jack, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here….”
“Is everyone okay? Did something happen to the kids?”
“No, they’re fine….Oh, it’s stupid, I’m dumb to come here.” She was crying now. Hard.
Even though he’d been half expecting her to come unglued one of these days since Paul’s death, he hadn’t expected it to be here. “Dar, you’re a mess. What happened?”
“I had a…I had a huge fight with Kate.”
/> Jack’s response traveled from relief, to annoyance, to amused concern in the space of about ten seconds. Part of him was ticked at her bringing something like this into the office; the other part of him was glad to be the place she had run to. Even if it meant she ran here. He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and handed her another tissue. “Come on, you never fight with Kate.”
“I know.” It came out as a moan.
He pushed a stack of files aside and leaned against the desk corner beside her. “What about?”
“About me.”
Well, he doubted that. These days most of the spats in his life were about everything but the argument at hand. Everybody was short-tempered with everybody, and it didn’t really matter why. Dar and Kate were as thick as thieves—too close to have an actual fight between them; it had to be something else just now coming to the surface. “You fought about you?” He tried to keep the skepticism out of his voice. She was really upset.
“She says I’ve been blowing her off. Things have been…I don’t know…tense between us. It’s never been weird between us and suddenly now everything is strained.”
Truth be told, he’d seen this one coming. It had “too much Glynnis Bidwell, not enough Kate Owens” written all over it, and it had been brewing for the better part of a month as near as he could tell. Better to go slow, just ask her questions until he got all the details. Even though he knew the answer, he started with, “Well, did you blow her off?”
“I didn’t mean to. It’s not like I’m ignoring her or anything.”
“But you did blow her off? Even if you didn’t mean to do it?”
Darcy sniffed. “I suppose. Yeah. I forgot about a date, twice.” She looked at Jack. “But that’s not the same thing as standing her up. Jack, she even whipped out her calendar to show me the dates. That’s going a bit far, don’t you think?”
“That is far, even for Kate. She must really be mad.”
“She told me that everything is different now, that I’ve changed, that I spend all my time with Glynnis. Jack, it sounded like Paula and her friends, ‘You like so-and-so better than me!’ What’s gotten into her?”
Jack knew exactly what had gotten into her. Good for Kate, he thought to himself, for coming out with it. How many times had he bit the same sentiment off his tongue when Dar had spent every waking moment with Paul? He had wondered how the strain of all this was going to show once life settled down. Everybody had their own way of coping with Paul’s death. Dar’s fixation on this project of hers had been her coping mechanism. Sure, there were worse ways to handle grief, but he had to admit he was hoping she’d get over this particular idea.
“I thought you and Kate were in on this idea of yours together.”
“She is. She was. But it’s not about that…at least I think it’s not about that.” Darcy blew her nose. “She’s jealous of Glynnis. Of my friendship with Glynnis.” Her eyes grew narrow and sharp. “Like I’m going to haul off and have new rich friends now. Mutate into some sort of socialite.”
“She’s hurt you forgot the dates. It’s a natural reaction, Dar.”
“No, it’s more than that. She thinks I don’t care about her anymore.”
“I doubt that.”
“It’s what she said.” Darcy accepted another tissue. Jack tried to check his watch unobtrusively, glad it was Thursday. Thursday was his boss’s day at the other building. He hooked the leg of his desk chair with his ankle and pulled it up next to Darcy’s chair. He sat down in it, and began rubbing her wrists with his hands. She had the most exquisite, tiny wrists. He could feel her pulse when he held them, tapping lightly against his fingers. He began to work his way through the problem.
“Did she tell you why she thinks that? If I know Kate, she had a dozen good reasons all lined up ready to go.”
Darcy nodded. “Oh, she had her argument all laid out, that’s for sure. She had a shopping list of family news I’d managed to miss.” Dar looked up at him with shimmering eyes. “Did you know Don was passed over for a promotion?”
“He told me, yeah.”
“And that Thad broke his finger?”
“Uh-huh.” Darcy’s response told him this was not the answer she was hoping for.
“And that Kate’s aunt has breast cancer?”
Jack was almost grateful he could say, “Hadn’t heard that” to that last one.
“Well, I sure heard about it today.” Darcy blew her nose again.
“Look, you and Kate have been friends forever. I think you’ll find a way out of this. The whole world’s a ball of tension these days.” Jack swept his hands around the office. “There have been fights here between people I’ve never seen fight before. Tension does nutty things to people. Kate and Don are no different.”
“I suppose. I have been in my own little world for a while.”
Now there was an understatement. Jack chose to let it slide. “You’ve been through a lot. Nobody blames you for taking care of Paul. It was a good thing you did.” He lowered his voice a bit, wondering just how far to go with this. “But lots of us have been out here, slugging it out in the rest of the world, waiting for you to come back. Kate’s been holding you up for a long time. Maybe she just wants a little holding in return.”
“You’re right. It’s not been fair to her, has it?”
“It’s not been fair to anyone. Life is pretty much unfair all over town these days.”
Darcy looked at him. “I can’t bear the thought of not having Kate.”
Jack smiled. “I’m sure Don’s having the same conversation right this very minute—that Kate’s on the phone with him, just as upset.” He brushed a lock of honey-blond curl out of her eyes. “Honestly, you women.”
He saw her smile. It felt good to be the one to make it better for her. He loved how she leaned on him, how she let him play knight in shining armor. It had been hard with Paul—there were no fixes to be had, no way to solve things for her, and he had hated that about it. “How ’bout I call Don and set up B-ball for Saturday afternoon? The guys can tear up the court and you and Kate can get back to whatever it is you do together.”
“I’d like that.”
“I’m in this for me. I can’t have you crying in my office every day until you patch things up.” He took her hand. “You’re lucky it’s Thursday as it is, and Mr. Big Shot’s at the other plant.” He was teasing her. He’d have rescued her any day of the week. He ignored the e-mail notification signal that came in over the computer.
“My hero.”
Man, how long had it been since he’d heard that? “Take a little advice from your hero?”
“Okay.”
“Make good and sure the next lunch you eat out is with Kate Owens, and not Glynnis Bidwell.”
She looked at him.
“I’m right, Dar, and you know it.” He was right. She was spending hoards of time over at the Bidwells’, and it was starting to put ideas into her head. Some of which worried him. She was a tangle of emotions yet, not half-healed over Paul’s death. Now was no time to get all fired up to do something drastic.
And drastic, it seemed, was a standard Bidwell operating mode. “Hey, wait,” he said as she gathered up her purse. “I’ve got another idea….”
Jack always had the best ideas for fixing stuff like this. At his suggestion, Darcy stopped at the United Dairy Farmers convenience store and bought Mint Milano cookies. She wrote “I’m sorry” in black marker across a package and slipped it into Kate’s mailbox.
She inhaled a second package on the way home in the car.
Every great idea can always be improved—a bit.
Chapter 12
It's Never Just a Ball
That Saturday was one of October’s spectacular last hurrahs to warm weather. A last blast of sunshine and autumn-colored glory before winter took over the Ohio Valley. It had even been warm enough to grill lunch out on the deck. Darcy and Kate, having had a good long string of “I’m sorry’s” and honest conversa
tion over lunch—yes lunch—on Friday, sat staring out the kitchen window. Jack, Don, Mike and Thad were going father-and-son two-on-two at the basketball hoop in the driveway. Paula and Jessica were up in Paula’s room creating a Barbie dynasty, and all felt right with the world. It was one of those glorious fall days, the kind that made you want to don a sweatshirt and sneakers, kick back in your deck chair, and wish Monday would never come.
“I swear Mike’s grown half a foot since school started,” said Kate, laughing at a wild jump shot from one of the boys as they watched through the kitchen windows.
“He eats like he’s growing a foot a second. Last night he ate three double cheeseburgers. That’s got to be a week’s worth of fat grams in one meal.” Darcy pulled a second pair of diet colas from the fridge, fondly remembering the days she didn’t have to count fat grams.
“Oh, to be young again.” Kate accepted the can from Darcy’s outstretched hand. She popped the tab and made a toast. “To the boys.”
“The boys. May they hoard their fat grams wisely.”
“As if. How many brats did Jack eat, anyway?”
“Three. They’re his favorite. I owed it to him after—well, after this week.” They’d talked long and hard on Friday about the argument they had in J.L.’s. It felt good to get it all out on the table, to have them both on the same side of the challenge again. And they both had work to do. Kate needed to remember that life was not all hunky-heiress-dory for Darcy and that grief wasn’t a four-week stint. Darcy needed to remind herself to check in on the rest of the world and to take the time to keep relationships strong in all the transition. Jack’s prediction, by the way, had been correct: Kate was sniffling on the phone to Don at the same time Darcy was using up Jack’s office tissues. No doubt about it, life would hold its share of challenges for both of them in the next few months.
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