“Zach I am sorry,” she said feeling the least she could do was say sorry. It was all she could say.
“Why didn’t you tell me Emma?” he asked softly without looking at her.
“I wasn’t sure if you would want to know,” she replied. “Besides when I found out I was back in New York and I had no idea where you were.”
“She is my daughter,” he replied angrily. “Of course I would have wanted to know.”
“I guess, if I am honest,” she replied feeling a little ashamed of what she had done. “That wasn’t the only reason I didn’t tell you.”
“What reason could have been so important that you kept her a secret from me?” he asked this time he looked straight at her and waited for her explanation. He was obviously angry and wanted answers.
Emma was surprised by his harshness. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to fight with him. She thought there would be plenty of time for that later but not now.
But Zach didn’t feel the same. He felt robbed and he wanted answers.
“Was it his idea not to tell me?” Zach asked still looking straight at her. She couldn’t believe how angry he was. “Wasn’t it enough he got you, he had to have her as well.”
“No, of course not,” she snapped. “He didn’t know.”
“So you lied to both of us,” he replied.
“I never lied to you Zach,” she replied trying to remain calm.
“You didn’t tell me the truth either Emma,” he snapped back as he stood up. He picked up his coat and walked towards the door. “Maybe I made a mistake coming back here.”
“That’s right Zach,” she replied as she leapt up from her seat, this time she was the one who was angry. “Walk away again, after all, it’s what you do best.”
He got as far as the door but was stopped in his tracks by her statement.
“That’s why I never told you the truth,” she said turning away from him. “Cause, let’s face it, this isn’t the first time you left me to deal with a mess. I don’t know why I expected anything different this time.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he replied confused by her outburst.
“You abandoned me,” she said in a strangely calm tone. “I was giving up everything for you but you just walked away and left me to pick up the pieces.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” he replied confused by what she said. “I showed up. I sat there in that bloody garage until midnight but you where the one who didn’t show.”
Emma didn’t reply. She didn’t understand why he would say that. She felt so confused.
“Then I went to your house,” he said. “But I was told you didn’t want to see me.”
“But you...you text me,” she replied once again speaking in a calm voice that didn’t truly reflect how she was feeling inside. “You said the garage was a bad idea. You said I should meet you at the bench on the end of the pier. And I sat there and waited for you but you never turned up.”
“Emma I never text you,” he replied feeling just as confused as Emma. “I had lost my phone that day. Joanna found it a couple of days later and...” He trailed off. Finally the truth started to sink in for him.
“Joanna brought me a letter and said you were gone,” Emma told him as she collapsed back down in her seat as the truth began to hit her. She felt numb, like someone had switched on a tap and let the last of her fighting spirit drain away. She had to be wrong. He never left her behind.
“Oh my God!” Emma exclaimed covering her face with her hands as the realization of what this meant was too much to bear. She began to sob as she realized what had been robbed from both her and Zach.
“Emma, I never abandoned you,” he said calmly as he kneeled down in front of her. He took her hands and gently pulled them away from her face. “I loved you. I wanted to spend my life with you.”
Emma looked at Zach. The anger that was in his eyes only moments ago, was suddenly gone. She looked from him to Mia lying, so frail, in the bed. The grief swelled up inside her until it almost choked her.
“Zach, I am so sorry,” she sobbed. “Oh God, I am but I was so sure you didn’t want me. I was so scared and when I found out I was pregnant, it was the easiest thing to do, to let Jonathan think he was her father. And he loved her so much. I couldn’t tell him the truth.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” he said. He wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close. She buried her face in his chest and sobbed.
She sobbed as she thought of the years she had missed with him. She had robbed him of his daughter and she had been so heart broken and it was all for nothing.
Emma finally managed to compose herself. She and Zach sat side by side, all night bedside Mia’s bed. He held her hand in his. They sat mostly in silence but it didn’t matter to either of them. There was nothing else they needed to say to each other. At least nothing that couldn’t wait, until Mia was well again. That’s all that mattered now was Mia. She was the need to focus on her little girl and get her through this. She was going to be fine. She had to be.
Chapter 25
~Five years earlier~
Zach arrived at the garage ten minutes before he had arranged to meet Emma. He was feeling a mixture of both nerves and excitement. He checked all the paperwork and the ticket for the millionth time to make sure there would be no problems.
He switched off the engine and waited for Emma. He checked his watch again she should be here any minute. He switched on the CD player in his car and sat back and closed his eyes and listen to the music while he waited for Emma to get there.
After two songs had played he checked his watch it was almost ten minutes past nine. Where was she, he wondered. She was never late before so something didn’t quite feel right. He switched off the engine and got out of the car. He stood for a moment and looked out into the night. But still the was no sign of Emma.
“Where the hell are you?” he said to himself as he began to pace up and down nervously. He looked at his watch and saw it was almost twenty past nine. He stuck his hands in his pocket and searched for his mobile phone.
“Shit” he said remembering he hadn’t been able to find it all day. “Shit, shit” He looked around for a pay phone. He spotted one in the corner of the petrol station forecourt. He ran over to it and picked up the receiver. The phone was dead.
“SHIT” he shouted as he slammed the receiver back down. He stood for a moment and tried to decide what to do next. It was now half nine. He knew something was definitely wrong.
He wondered if he should go and find her. Maybe she had been hurt on her way to find him. But if he went to find her he was afraid he would miss her. What if she got there and he wasn’t there, she would think he didn’t bother turning up. He thought for a moment and decided he would wait a while longer. He climbed back into the car and waited.
Checking his watch every few minutes, as the time ticked away, he became frustrated and panic swept over him. He got out of the car again and began to pace up and down once again. Where the hell was she? He looked at his watch again. It was now ten past ten. She was over an hour late. The panic that was inside him had been replaced by a feeling of dread. He still looked patiently out in to the darkness of the night but in his heart he already knew she wasn’t coming. Still he waited. To leave would be like admitting he had lost, that she had let him down. He needed time to let it sink in and think about what he should do next.
Finally at about twelve o’clock he was cold and decided there was no point in sitting there anymore. Emma hadn’t come, they had missed their plane and he had no idea why.
He started the car and pulled out of the garage. He was heading for home wondering what had happened to her. Why didn’t she come? He had so many questions that he wanted to ask her.
He realized he needed the answers and swung the car around and headed straight to Emma’s parents’ house. When he reached the house he switched off his engine and stared in at the house. He wanted to march
up and bang on the door but he knew he couldn’t. No matter what had happened he cared too much for Emma to ruin her life.
If she had chosen Jonathan, him barging in would ruin that for her, and that was the last thing he wanted to do. He just wanted to see her. To know she was all right and try and understand what had happened.
He was sitting there about ten minutes when the front door open and someone stepped out into the darkness. Zach panicked, for a moment. He thought about driving away but decided against it. They walked straight towards the car. Zach slid the key from the ignition and stepped out of the car.
“I know why you’re here,” he said when he reached Zach.
“I just want to talk to her,” Zach replied.
“She doesn’t want to talk to you,” he snapped back at Zach. “She doesn’t want to see you.”
“If she has made her choice, that’s fine,” Zach replied. “But all I want to do is see she is okay. I love her and I know she loves me.”
“She loves Jonathan,” he insisted. “She was happy with him until you came along. You have just confused her. But she realized she wanted Jonathan and she wants you to leave her alone.”
He turned and headed back to the house. But Zach wasn’t giving up that easy.
“I am not going till I see her,” He insisted following him up the garden. “I don’t believe she doesn’t want to see me. I just need to talk to her. If she knew I was here she would want to see me.”
Suddenly he spun around and punched Zach square in the face, knocking him to the ground.
“Don’t you get it?” he said staring down at Zach on the ground. “She knows you’re here. She said she doesn’t want to see you. And in the morning she is marrying Jonathan and I swear if you come anyway near her or the wedding I will kill you. Do you understand me?”
Zach didn’t reply. He wiped his mouth which was trickling with blood. He got up from the ground and brushed himself down.
“I said do you understand me?” he demanded grabbing Zach by his jacket.
“OKAY!” Zach shouted. “Okay.”
He pushed him free from his grasp and turned and walked back to the house. Zach stood and watched him walk away. When he was gone out of sight Zach slowly turned and climbed back into the car.
He sat and stared at the house for a few more minutes. Then, finally, he slid his key into the ignition switch and started the car. He drove back to his apartment in a daze.
When he walked into his apartment he slipped of his coat and threw it on the floor. He walked into the kitchen and got a glass from the press and picked up and bottle of whiskey from the counter. He slumped on the sofa and poured himself a drink. He knocked it back in one go and sat for a while in silence, staring blankly at the wall.
He felt so stupid. He was sure she loved him. He could feel it when she touched him, he could see it in her eyes when she looked at him.
Why the hell had she changed her mind. If he could just have talked to her but she didn’t want to speak to him. She didn’t want him.
Suddenly a wave of anger rushed through his body and he felt like he was going to explode. He threw the glass he was holding at the wall in temper and it smashed to pieces with the impact.
He lifted the bottle to throw it but didn’t. Instead he brought it to his mouth and took a large gulp, and then another one. After several large gulps he began to feel numb. Somehow the pain seemed to be drifting further and further away, so he kept drinking until finally nothing matter and all that was left for him was sleep.
Chapter 26
Emma stood staring out the window as the dawn began to break. She was still trying to accept someone had deliberately lied to her and set out to ruin what she and Zach had. She knew Joanna didn’t like her but she never thought she would have sunk so low to do what she did.
And of course she made sure she was the one who was there to pick up the pieces for him. The one to put his life back together and offer him what he thought she couldn’t. And it worked because now she was going to marry him.
Emma wondered if he would still go ahead with the wedding. How could he, she had lied to him and robbed them of their future together. But maybe he loved her. Maybe he loved her enough to forgive her. She wanted to ask him but she couldn’t. She bit her lip and kept her thoughts to herself.
After all, what right did she have to expect him to drop everything and come running back to her? She had been the one that moved on first and completely shut him out for his daughter’s life. Despite her reasons, she knew what she had done was wrong and she had to live with that now.
Emma couldn’t help but see the irony in the fact that if she had searched him out and told him about the baby she would have found out the truth back then and they would have probably been together now.
She glanced over at him as he sat holding Mia’s hand. She watched how he stared at her, studying every part of her tiny little face. It touched her heart at the obvious love he felt for their little girl already.
“She looks like you,” Emma said moving closer to the bed. Zach looked up at her and smiled.
“I think she looks like her Mommy,” he said looking back at Mia.
“Sometimes,” Emma agreed. “But sometimes she can look at you in a way and it is like you looking at me. She has your mischievous smile and the same dimple you have on you right cheek.” Zach smiled but didn’t take his eyes off Mia.
“Sometimes it was hard because she reminded me so much of you,” Emma confessed honestly. “There were times when I wished that she could have been Jonathan’s instead. I guess I thought it would have made it easier. But most of the time when I was glad she was yours. It was the one thing that I had, that meant what we had wasn’t a lie.”
“It wasn’t,” Zach said this time he looked up. “I did truly love you.”
Emma walked back to the window and stood looking out it for a long time, so many thought running through her head.
“What will you say to Joanna?” she asked turning back to him. She wasn’t sure if she really wanted to hear the answer.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “I can’t believe she would do something so under handed. It just doesn’t seem like her.”
“Will you still marry her,” the words tumbled out before she had time to stop herself and she instantly regretted them.
“I don’t know” he replied honestly as he leaned forward, still watching Mia. He reached up and softly stroked her hair, He barely touched her, almost like he was afraid he would break her. “She lied and she deceived me. After you left I fell apart. I began to drink really heavily. It nearly ruined my life. I thought I owed her for pulling me back together. But now it seems she was the one who tore me apart to begin with.”
Emma didn’t reply. She turned back and stared out the window once again. She thought about what Zach had said. It killed her to think of him so broken because of her. And that someone else was there to pick up the pieces.
She wondered how someone could knowingly wreck someone else’s life. She thought about the night they were to meet and how devastated she was and how Joanna just stood there and watched as her world fell apart.
She thought about how frantic he must have been too. She could picture him waiting at the garage for her, endlessly checking his watch, counting the minutes and willing her to come.
How could someone that claims they love you consciously wreck your life? Then she remembered what else he had said and it dawn on her that Joanna wasn’t the only one who had stood in their way. Someone from her family had as well. Someone told him she didn’t want to see him without even telling her she he was there.
“Zach, you said you came to my parents’ house” she said trying to piece it all together.
“It was the first place I thought of going to” he replied. “I thought if I could just talk to you, I could have changed your mind.”
“Who did you speak to?” she asked needing to know who, from you own family, had lied to him deliberately about her. Z
ach realized what she was asking and if he told her the truth what it could mean.
“Emma, what does it matter now” he said getting up from his chair and walking over to her. He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. “What has happened in the past is over now. They tried but in the end they are the ones who have lost. Besides now isn’t the time. Mia needs you, they don’t matter anymore. What has happened doesn’t matter, I’m here now and we will get through this. Everything will be ok”.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to believe everything was going to be all right. Mia was going to be fine and maybe they could try and have a future together.
But suddenly a wave of anger over took her. She shouldn’t have to settle with just hopes and maybes. She had her future in hers hands. She was prepared to make the sacrifices she had to. It was hard enough to accept Joanna had deliberately deceived her but the thought that one of her own family did was very hard to deal with. Someone had stood in the church the day of her wedding and watched her marry Jonathan. They knew she loved someone else. But more importantly they knew he loved her back. That he came looking for her and tried to win her back.
She abruptly pulled away from Zach and walked to Mia’s bedside. She leaned down and kissed her. “I love you baby,” she whispered to her little girl. The tears once again filled her eyes
“Emma” Zach said confused by her actions. “What is it?”
“I need to know” she said wiping the tears from her eyes. “I need to know who you talked to.”
“Why?” Zach asked. “What is it going to change? It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Look at her Zach,” she sobbed pointing to Mia. “She might die and she never had a chance to know her real father. And you never got a chance to know her or how wonderful she is. How amazing her laugh is. Or how she hums when she eats ice-cream. And I have to live with my part in that for the rest of my life. But I was lied to. And they need to know that’s not ok.”
A Stolen Heart Page 17