“Oh, well there are a couple of career paths in the Sisters of Torment. Currently, I’m a Dark Maiden, which is on the lower level of those who serve the Darkness.” She thought for a moment. “Let’s say it’s like a video game, and I’m a regular enemy from the fourth or fifth level…but not like a level boss. The promotion I’m looking for would make me a Night Mistress, known for stealth and speed. You know, quick, deadly, and able to sneak up on you…like a ninja. They’re more like a subbosses…or at least regular enemies from the final level.”
Terrance took a moment to take that in. “Do you think it’s kind of odd that you compare your job to the bad guys in a video game?”
Shannon seemed taken aback. “It’s just an analogy.”
“Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just—”
Shannon turned away from him and looked at the chef. “Chop! Chop!” she chanted as the chef rapidly cut a piece of meat.
“I don’t think we have to cheer him on,” Terrance said.
“We better show we’re interested or he’ll spit in our food.”
“That would be hard with eight people watching him.”
“Well, he’s obviously very skilled. Plus, I don’t really trust these other people.” She pointed at the middle-aged couple seated nearest them, who were trying to ignore her.
“Don’t point. They don’t like that.”
“Who doesn’t like that?”
“People. People don’t like that.”
Shannon stuck out her tongue at him. “Like you know much about people, Mr. Programmer.”
“What I mainly know about people is that they’re always trying to figure exactly what input will break my programs, and they’re very skilled at it. I don’t have to do much exception-handling when programming for monkeys.”
“Exception-handling—sounds important. So what are promotions in your field? You go from regular programmer to super programmer?”
Terrance shrugged. “Something like that. Or you go into management. You can only get so high in a company doing actual useful work. I’ve been thinking about going back to college for an MBA, but…well, I like programming. Just seems like eventually I’ll need to think about other things.”
“You should do what you like,” Shannon said. “You can’t just let society push you around. Stand up to the man!”
“And you like what you do?”
“Yes, it’s very challenging. There’s a big undercurrent to society that I don’t think everyone is quite aware of. Like I don’t think everyone knows to be cautious of faeries.” Shannon pointed to her hair.
“Are they dangerous?” Terrance quickly blurted out. He didn’t want to seem too interested, but he was afraid to miss the window to ask about them when they were topic-appropriate.
“Not physically dangerous. When I killed one today, all she did was wave her hands and say”—Shannon imitated a snooty tone—“‘You ought not to do this!’”
Shannon giggled, but Terrance just stared at her, not sure how to react. “I guess you had to have been there,” Shannon said. “Anyway, the problem with faeries is that they’re wily—they’re not always easy to hunt down. And the main danger is how they get in people’s heads.”
“What do you mean?” Terrance asked, trying to sound like he was only making casual conversation.
“Well, people just get all crazy when they come into contact with faeries. It’s hard to describe…they just kind of lose touch with reality.”
“What happens then?”
The waiter arrived with their sake. “Namaste,” Shannon said to him.
“Wrong nationality.”
Shannon poured warm sake into one of the small cups. “My first instinct was ‘guten Tag,’ but that didn’t seem right either.”
“‘Thank you’ in Japanese is easy to remember because it rhymes with ‘Mr. Roboto.’” Terrance poured himself some sake. “Um…so you were describing what happens to people who talk with faeries.”
Shannon sipped her drink. “Most get over it. They eventually just go back to normal.”
“But some don’t?”
“Yeah…some don’t.” Shannon now looked a little uncomfortable. “When that happens, well, let’s just say they become our problem.”
Terrance wanted to ask more, but he could see this wasn’t a line of questioning that was endearing him to Shannon. He took a big gulp of his sake. “Sounds like they should have PSAs about faeries.”
“I know! I guess they just don’t want people worrying about that sort of thing. It’s the concern of those who share in the power of the Darkness. We protect people from things like that so you can all just worry about important things…like that exceptional handling.”
“Exception-handling.”
Shannon shook her head. “I’m pretty sure it’s the other one.”
The chef finished cooking their steaks and served them on plates with rice. Terrance eagerly dug into his food, but soon noticed that Shannon was struggling with her chopsticks. “You don’t actually have to use those, you know.”
“If I give up, I’ll be a failure and it will follow me throughout my life. Plus, it ensures that I eat my meal daintily. I don’t know if you’ve ever been a woman, but we have to worry about that sort of thing on a date.”
“Well, good luck with that. I’ll keep a close watch and get back to you later on whether the speed at which you’re eating is a turnoff.”
She carefully picked up a piece of steak and slowly put it in her mouth. “I’m not sure I like you, Ance.” Her smile told a different story.
Terrance realized he was becoming even more taken by her than he’d been the first night they met, but a voice in the back of his head told him, She’s an evil warrior who serves a demonic power. He was pretty sure that was just the faerie-induced craziness talking, though.
Chapter 5
“So what now, Ancey-boy?”
Terrance and Shannon headed out of the restaurant, arm in arm. “I’m not okay with you calling me that.”
“Fine. So what now, Mr. Denby?”
“I was thinking we would go to one of those moving-picture shows all the kids are talking about.”
“So dinner and a movie. How bohemian.”
Terrance shrugged. “It’s a first date. I’m not going to reinvent the wheel.”
“Yeah, but there’s a Michael Bay film playing right now. I don’t like his movies.”
“We can go to another film.”
Shannon shook her head. “No. We’d be trying to concentrate on our movie, but I wouldn’t be able to focus because I’d know that on the next screen over was a cinematic travesty with lots of explosions and Nickelback blaring.”
“Kind of a snob, huh?”
“I am what I am. So what else you got?”
“Well, if not a movie, we could”—Terrance thought for a moment—“go bowling?”
Shannon raised an eyebrow. “You like bowling.”
“Not really. It’s just all I could think of.”
“You’ve been on dates before, right? Or do I need to turn on tutorial mode for this one?”
Terrance considered it for a moment. “Is that an option?”
“You really this clueless?”
“No…it’s just that a movie seems like a good first date. We’d learn a lot about each other by whether we make fun of the same things. If you don’t want to go to the theater, maybe we can rent a movie.”
Shannon narrowed her eyes. “And watch it…where?”
Terrance realized he hadn’t considered the implications of his suggestion. “Um…well…my place is nearby.” He frantically tried to remember what condition he’d left it in. Were there clothes strewn about? Dirty dishes on the counter? Visible Pokémon paraphernalia?
Shannon nodded. “I see what’s going on here. First you’re all, ‘I never even dated a girl before. What is boobies?’ to disarm me, and now you’re trying to get me alone at your place. You’re pretty smooth, and kinda sneaky.�
��
“Hey, I was happy with the movie theater, and I have dated girls before.”
“Real life or in a video game?”
“Both.” Terrance gave her a sly smile. “And I am very smooth.”
Shannon studied his face. “Okay. I guess I’m going to see the Batcave. So we’ll go to a video store and pick out a movie?”
“What is it, the 1950s? We’ll rent one through the internet.”
Shannon nodded. “Oh yes. The sooner to get me alone in your lair.”
Terrance followed Shannon to her car, a silver Prius. “A hybrid, huh?”
“They’ve been doing a green push at work. They actually help pay for a hybrid.”
“Would have thought you guys just rode scary winged lizards or something.”
“Those aren’t for personal use.”
Terrance laughed. Shannon stared at him. “What’s so funny?”
“Oh…nothing.” He smiled. “I guess you’ll need my address.”
Shannon took a few steps into Terrance’s apartment. “Wow, I like the nothing you’ve done with the place.”
“Uh…yeah.” He did leave pretty much all the walls bare. His apartment was a place to eat, sleep, and play video games, and he never did quite understand decorating. “People worked hard on painting the walls white, and I didn’t want to detract from that.”
Shannon strolled toward Terrance’s black leather couch, which faced his 47-inch TV. She dropped onto it and pushed her chest out provocatively. “So, you’ve got me alone at your place, now what are—” Something caught her attention. “Ooh! Mario Kart! We’re playing that.”
Terrance hadn’t thought to suggest playing video games as a date option, but he was fine with that. “Okay, but I warn you I’m very good. I’m the master of the power slide.” He started up the game and sat down next to Shannon.
“Bring it, Ancey-boy!” Shannon shouted as she gripped a controller.
“I thought we already discussed that attempt of a nickname, Shan…something bad.”
“Yeah, I think that will stick. By the way, I get to be Yoshi.”
“Fine with me.” He navigated to the character-select screen and chose Luigi.
“Hmm.” Shannon looked Terrance over.
“What?”
“Luigi is an interesting choice. Why would one associate oneself with Mario’s lesser-known, younger brother? Seems to have a deeper psychological meaning.”
Terrance raised an eyebrow. “You thinking I’m a serial killer again?”
“I haven’t dismissed the possibility.”
“I just think he doesn’t get enough credit. He takes on all the goombas and Koopas too, but he doesn’t even get the girl in the end. He’s selfless. And why do you like Yoshi so much? What does that mean?”
“Yoshi is a dinosaur,” Shannon calmly explained. “Dinosaurs are cool. There is no deeper psychological meaning behind choosing Yoshi.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“So what are we playing for?”
Terrance shrugged his shoulders. “I didn’t know we were going to play for anything. I thought it was going to be a friendly game with some minor gloating. I might have even thought of being a gentleman and going easy on you.”
Shannon leaned in close to Terrance, her lips nearly touching his ear, and whispered, “How about you win, and I go rough on you.”
Blood rushed to his face and other places. “Okay.”
“WE ARE NOT LOSING TO PRINCESS PEACH!!!” Shannon screamed.
There were loud thumps from below.
“What was that?” Shannon asked, not taking her eyes off the screen.
“Just something that lives below that doesn’t like loud noises,” Terrance said while trying to keep control on a tight turn. “Ignore it.”
Instead of the game being a competition between Terrance and Shannon, the computer-controlled Princess Peach ended up being quite the competitor, leaving them in a near three-way tie in the final race. Shannon had ended the battle between the two of them, because now there was a new imperative: Princess Peach must fail.
“Gah! I missed the item box!” Shannon yelled.
“I got one.” Terrance watched as it rotated through the possible items. “Come on, red shell…” It settled on a green shell. “No! A green shell!”
The red shell wouldn’t have automatically locked onto their enemy, but the green shell meant Terrance would have to carefully aim it right at her. He considered waiting for a straightaway but realized they were almost to the finish line on the last lap, so as Peach rounded a turn ahead of him, he guessed where she was going and fired the green shell ahead of her. It slid dead on into the side of Peach’s kart, spinning her out, and Luigi and Yoshi sped past her to the finish line to first and second place.
Terrance dropped his controller to the ground and stood up from the couch. “I am the greatest!”
He turned to look at Shannon and realized that she was standing right next to him. She grabbed Terrance by the shirt and kissed him. He pulled her close and kissed her back. Soon she was pulling off his shirt, and he was a little taken aback but decided to unbutton her blouse and push it off her shoulders. Then she started to push down his pants, which Terrance wasn’t quite ready for, but he went with the flow and began to do the same to her jeans, which was more awkward than he expected, especially while still kissing her. They toppled over, which caused the thing beneath his apartment to bang angrily under the floor, but neither of them minded it.
They completely missed the Mario Kart awards ceremony.
Chapter 6
The sword. Terrance’s mind kept returning to the weapon in his coat closet. What if she finds the sword?
“I know what you’re thinking right now.” Shannon lay next to Terrance, not looking at him. “You’re thinking what a slut I am.”
They had started out on the floor, but Terrance couldn’t stop wondering when he’d last vacuumed, so as casually as possible, he’d moved the event to his bedroom. He had actually washed the sheets in the last month and was a lot less self-conscious there, which was good because he really wanted to concentrate on the beautiful woman throwing herself at him. And he definitely should have been concentrating on that now naked woman lying beside him, but once again his thoughts were straying, this time to the stupid sword the faeries had chucked at him.
“No, I was not thinking that,” Terrance said, though he was caught off-guard by her coming at him like she had. He’d never attracted women so strongly before; he was always a bit of an acquired taste, it seemed.
“I don’t know what came over me. I just felt we kind of had a connection and…well, it was so cool how you sniped Princess Peach with that green shell. I hate her so much.”
“Most people do. I don’t know what it is about her.”
Shannon turned to look at Terrance. “I like you, Ance. You seem like a nice guy.”
“I like you, too, Shannon. You’re fun.”
“Oh, yeah.” She winked at him. “Bet you’re going to tell all the guys how fun I am.”
“No, I don’t mean that. I mean…that was good. But before that.”
She nodded. “Cool. Anyway, I don’t want to take things too fast. I had a bad breakup recently. Maybe I needed a longer cooling-down period first. I shouldn’t be jumping into bed with someone like this.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t…um…object.”
“I can’t expect a guy to do that.”
It actually had occurred Terrance to say something—not just about the dirty carpet—but he’d been afraid of coming off as wimpy. “Still, if a mistake was made, I participated. And I was the one who suggested we come to my place.”
Shannon sighed. “Wish I could blame the sake. Am I talking too much? Am I weirding you out? We were having fun before; now I think I’m just being mental.”
“No, you’re not being mental. We’re just trying to figure out where we are, which is understandable.”
“Your watch!�
�� Shannon exclaimed. “You wore a lucky watch! We’ll blame that.”
Terrance glanced at the watch still on his wrist. “It was more of a helped-me-with-finals lucky watch. I didn’t know it had this power.”
“Well, you should have been more careful before unleashing it on an unsuspecting woman.”
“Okay. I’m sorry.”
Shannon nodded. “Apology accepted. So where do we go from here?”
“Well…um…I was thinking we could have another date if you’re up for it.”
She looked at Terrance and smiled. “I would like that very much.” She frowned a little. “Except I work this weekend. I work a lot of weekends.”
“Well, that gives me more time to think of date activities other than dinner and a movie. So far—just spitballing—I’m thinking lunch and a play.”
She giggled. “I’m lucky I found you. I’ve had a rough time lately, and it’s just so great to finally meet a nice guy.”
“Rough time how?”
“Well…” She curled the blankets around her. “There was that breakup, but you don’t want to hear about that. It was a few weeks ago and best left in the past. And then I got some bad news today.”
He put his hand on her shoulder. “What?”
“It’s a work thing. This person we captured…she escaped. She was about to be brought to one of the ancient unknowns, and then some idiot interfered and she escaped.”
Terrance froze. “When did this happen?”
Shannon seemed not to have noticed Terrance’s change of attitude. “Today.”
“Oh.” Terrance recalled the doe-eyed young woman, her desperate screams, her violent escape, and the intense gaze she briefly held with him. “Was she dangerous?”
“Very much.”
“Like…faerie dangerous?”
Shannon frowned. “No. Big-time dangerous. When we brought her down, she slew two of my friends.”
“Killed them?”
“Yes. She beheaded Erin and sliced Jess in half, from head to toe.”
Terrance turned white and stared at Shannon in horror. “Oh dear…that must have been horrible.”
Sidequest: In Realms Ungoogled Page 4