“That part I remember.” Lilly smiled as she leaned on the island and settled in for the story.
“Well, what your mother didn’t tell you was that the moment I disembarked from the train, and I saw her standing there with her green dress and matching hat, I knelt down on one knee and asked her to be my wife.” Mr. Sommer chuckled.
“And she said no?!”
“Immediately! Not in an unkind way, nor did she belittle me, but with enough grace that I understood it wasn’t definitive. I still had a chance.”
“Why did she refuse?”
“She said I wasn’t ready for marriage.” Mr. Sommer grew solemn. “She recognized that I was acting impulsively, and she wanted someone who was maybe a bit more contemplative than I was.”
“When was the second time?” Lilly asked.
“Well, for good reason, we omitted the second attempt when we told you girls.” Mr. Sommer appeared a little sheepish. “I was drunk and embarrassing myself by standing outside of her window serenading her and the neighborhood and begging her to be my wife.”
“I can’t imagine what that would’ve been like.” Lilly’s mouth hung open in disbelief. “I’ve never seen you drunk!”
“Nor will you ever see it.” Mr. Sommer pursed his lips. “Anyways, to my inebriated surprise, she didn’t accept that proposal.”
“So, the third proposal, the one you told us about, that is when Mother agreed to marry you?”
“Well, we embellished a little for the sake of you two girls.” Mr. Sommer scratched the back of his neck. “But anything worth telling deserves a little exaggeration, I suppose. The truth, actually, is quite dreary. We had tickets to the opera, and I was in a tailored suit. She was in a nice red dress, and the evening sky was perfect. The stars were out, the air was calm, your mother looked as beautiful as I had ever seen her, and the night felt enchanted.”
“Then what?” Lilly pressed. “I heard all that before, but I don’t understand what was left out?”
“The truth is that I didn’t technically propose.” Mr. Sommer glanced down at his feet as he tried to contain his emotions. “I simply enjoyed the moment, and that’s when your mother knew. She perceived that if I had married her when I was desperate for her attention, then eventually, my eye would’ve turned to something else. I would’ve been invested in some project or hobby, and she would’ve been neglected. She knew that I was chasing the moment more than I was chasing her. Only when I was present, enjoying her and life for what it was, she believed that it was time for us to be a proper couple. So, while we were listening to the performance, during my favorite aria—”
“Dai Campi, Dai Prati,” Lilly interjected.
“That’s the one.” Mr. Sommer winked at her in his enthusiasm. “Yes, well, she leaned over, put her head on my shoulder, and whispered, ‘yes.’”
“I think I prefer the truth,” Lilly replied with tears in her eyes.
“Anyways”—Mr. Sommer took a deep breath to steady himself— “I think it is time for you to join us.”
“You and Sergeant Wolf?” Lilly stood upright.
Leaning forward with his elbows resting on the island, Mr. Sommer whispered, “The resistance.”
“The resistance?” Lilly leaned forward as well.
“Shh!” Mr. Sommer held a finger to his lips as he looked at the door.
“What resistance?” Lilly shook her head, this time speaking softly.
“There’s a group, an unofficial and secretive collective of those who are taking active opposition to the Nazi regime,” Mr. Sommer explained.
“So, Ruth was Jewish then?” Lilly watched her father expectantly.
“That’s right.” Mr. Sommer nodded.
“And you hired her under the pretense of a maid since no one would doubt your intentions after Aryanizing a Jewish property,” Lilly thought aloud. “Then you terminated her employment under the guise of thievery.”
“I have connections in the Netherlands.” Mr. Sommer exhaled quickly and it seemed to Lilly that a great weight was being lifted from his shoulders with his confession. “From there, Ruth will hopefully be able to make her way to England, where she’ll be safe.”
“And you think that I can help in this regard?” Lilly shot an eyebrow up. “I don’t know the first thing about trafficking people.”
“That’s not where we need you.” Mr. Sommer paused, and Lilly could sense that he wasn’t entirely proud of what he was about to ask her.
“What then?” Lilly’s eyes flew wide. “Tell me!”
“Major Wagner is to be…liquidated.” Mr. Sommer swallowed.
“And you want me to kill him?” Lilly felt herself growing faint at the contemplation alone.
“No, no,” Mr. Sommer held up a hand to calm her. “That task has fallen to me.”
“Then how am I involved?”
“I need you to get close to him.” Mr. Sommer watched her, and Lilly could sense that he was reluctant.
“Close to him?” Lilly squinted, wondering what her father intended.
“I don’t mean for you to be involved in anything… improper.” Mr. Sommer’s cheeks grew crimson. “But you are above suspicion, which means that you are free to make mental notes about his movements. Nothing is to be written, ever, but we need to know where he eats, who he engages with, how many guards are with him, is he ever alone, and so on and so forth.”
“I see.” Lilly began to play with her fingers nervously. She knew that the major deserved such a fate, but she was hesitant about her abilities to follow through.
“I know I’m demanding a lot of you.” Mr. Sommer looked at her tenderly.
“It’s the right thing.” Lilly nodded. “I hate seeing what is happening to our country. In a way, if I join, then I’m the true patriot.”
“Regardless, now that I’ve told you, you don’t have a choice,” Mr. Sommer spoke softly. “Do you think you can do this?”
“The major was at the Society this evening.” Lilly stared at the island as she tried to steady her nerves. “I could watch him there, but I don’t know how to get close to him otherwise.”
“You’ll think of something.” Mr. Sommer nodded.
“Papa, I’m scared.” Lilly began to tremble. “What has the world come to?”
“My sweet girl.” Mr. Sommer walked over and held her tightly. “I know that it’s frightening.”
“Mama would know what to do.” Lilly wished with all her heart that she was still with them.
“That she would.” He rested his head on her chin.
“I should really get some sleep,” Lilly said as she broke off the embrace, “but I don’t know if I can.”
“You’ll find that’s an unfortunate part of the trade.” Mr. Sommer shook his head. “Would you like company? I’ll be awake for most of the night as well.”
“No, I think I’ll read more of the journal instead.” Lilly smiled as best as she was able to reassure her father.
“Why do you read that, anyways?” Mr. Sommer tilted his head. “Ruth mentioned that it was important, but I never understood why.”
“Truthfully, I don’t know.” Lilly frowned as she grew introspective. “I think I enjoy reading it because of how connected I feel to her. Her name is also Lilly. She used to live here, she slept here, and she dreamed of a future here. I think that reading her words somehow honors her. I don’t know what else I can do at the moment, so I simply honor.”
“You’re a gentle soul, my dear Lilly.” Mr. Sommer smiled. “Where are you hiding the journal anyways? You know what, never mind.” He waved for her to forget his question. “It’s best that I don’t know.”
“It’s odd how I thought that this house used to be cursed.” Lilly shook her head.
“I think the curse already happened to the previous owners,” Mr. Sommer retorted.
With that, Mr. Sommer left the kitchen, and Lilly stood alone in the pale evening light as she reflected on what had just occurred. Within mere minutes, she had been r
ecruited into a resistance group she didn’t even know existed. While she discerned that the major deserved death, she felt a rotting pit in her stomach for helping organize his “liquidation.” Regardless of how wicked he was, he was still a human, however far removed, and to kill another person was not something Lilly could consider with any ease.
Then, ensuring that she was alone, Lilly walked over to the pantry, opened the upper cupboard door, and reached far behind the bread as she retrieved the diary. With the cupboard on a downward slant, it would be impossible to see the diary, and the only way to discover it would be if someone put their hands into the back.
Walking into the dining room, Lilly was about to sit in the chair when she remembered that Edith was still awake. If she came downstairs, it was likely that Lilly would be spotted with the journal, and it was too dangerous to read openly.
Returning to the kitchen, Lilly decided it would be best to stand beside the cupboard. If Edith walked in, then she could throw it back into its hiding spot quickly. Secure in her plan, Lilly began reading.
It’s an odd thing when a lie becomes the truth, and the only accepted version of the truth. The problem is that most of the girls at school discern that designating me as a bad person because of my birth is nothing more than a mere invention. Still, they are more concerned with driving away ridicule than standing up for what is right. If they are perceived to have accepted me, then they are branded a ‘friend of traitors’. No one is worse than Irma. If anything, this just gives her an excuse to be a tyrant.
I read a quote today, as it seems that’s all I’m able to do is read, but it struck me. It was in one of Edgar Allan Poe’s compilations, ‘Years of love have been forgot, in the hatred of a minute.’ I can’t think of anything more poignant when describing my previous relationships with my classmates who have turned their backs on me.
I was the popular one. I was the one they invited to their parties. I was the envy of the school. The boys loved my blue eyes and blonde hair, and the girls were rife with jealousy. But now, because the state has deemed my birth as consequential, I’m less than human.
I remember when our science instructor brought out a chart that showcased the ‘master race’. He used skulls to show that Aryan people have better shaped skulls while Jews and Negroes had thick, larger ones. How can they believe this nonsense when a Jew, like myself, goes against the evidence? If anyone, Irma’s skull is twice the size of mine. Her neck muscles must be enormous. That’s rude. I shouldn’t be like that, but it makes me angry.
Speaking of upsetting, the instructor then went on to explain how Jews were like rats. Rats spread disease and are the lowest of the animals and, therefore, Jews are the lowest of mankind. The logic is so ridiculous it’s laughable, but I was terrified just sitting in the classroom. I’m not sure I know how to forgive the glances from my previous friends, looking at me like I’m the devil’s own.
Oh, right, I almost forgot about the most preposterous claim yet! The instructor also mentioned that the Jews have been at war with the Germans for four thousand years! I don’t even know where to begin addressing this absurdity. My family at war with the people we love and cherish? It’s ludicrous!
Anyways, those school days are long gone. I miss being able to go out. I haven’t been to the pictures in, well, I can’t remember how long. Dare I say I even miss sports? I miss giggling with the other girls about which boys were the cutest. I miss the freedoms that I had. They felt so constricting at the time, but now I realize what I had taken for granted.
Papa won’t even let me out of the house, not that I blame him, but I do give him grief for his restrictions. Mrs. Baumann does all our grocery shopping for us. We can’t afford much, so we only get what is absolutely necessary. Still, Mrs. Baumann throws in an extra item here and there, especially some sweets for me. Papa likes to sneak one or two, but claims that he is honest.
The strangest aspect of this whole situation is that I also want to fit in. I want to sing the folk songs, throw flowers and kisses at tall soldiers while waving flags, and dress in the smart League uniforms. This is my country, this is my Germany, and despite all of what has happened, I’m still proud to be a German.
Lilly set the book back into the cupboard, figuring she had spent all of her available fortune. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the island as a plan formed in her mind. She wondered how she could help Lilly out. I am part of the resistance, after all, Lilly scoffed at the very thought of her being a resistance fighter.
What’s that sound? Lilly held her breath as she listened. It sounds like rain. No, it can’t be rain. In winter? That’s crazy. It seems to be coming from the front of the house. It’s getting closer. Those are boots! That’s marching!
“Papa!” Lilly screamed as she ran to the bottom of the stairs.
“What?!” Mr. Sommer shouted back.
A loud knock came to the door.
“Mr. Sommer, open up!” Major Wagner commanded from outside.
“What’s going on?” Edith asked as she came to the top of the stairs as well.
“I don’t know!” Mr. Sommer barked as he brushed past Edith, and Lilly could see the sweat pooling on his forehead from panic.
“Mr. Sommer!” The major ordered impatiently.
“What could possibly—” Mr. Sommer opened the door and, without hesitation, a couple of SS guards stormed inside and threw him onto the floor as Lilly screamed in terror.
“Where is she?” Wagner demanded as he barged in behind his men and towards Lilly.
“Who?!” Mr. Sommer asked as he looked up from the flat of his stomach while the guards were showing no clemency and pinning him down.
“Your maid!” the major replied as he peeked into the dining room.
“She’s gone!” Mr. Sommer shouted, and Lilly found it heart-wrenching to watch her father endure this torment.
“I know,” the major sighed as he then looked into the kitchen. “You terminated her employment.”
“Please, I can explain!” Mr. Sommer begged as he tried to remain calm.
“Get him up.” The major waved to the guards as if it was Mr. Sommer’s idea to be on the floor.
“She was caught stealing.” Mr. Sommer panted.
“No, she wasn’t.” The major shook his head and then walked over to Lilly as he stood in front of her, much too close for comfort.
She could smell the alcohol pouring off of his breath, and there was a callous, lifeless expression in his eyes. Even though she looked carefully back at him, Lilly sensed that he carried no thought or concern for anyone else. Lilly understood that the man before her was the essence of cruelty. In him, there was no soul.
“Please leave her alone,” Mr. Sommer spoke softly, trying to dissuade the major.
“You know, if I were a lesser man”—the major removed his gloves as he spoke to Mr. Sommer while keeping his gaze on Lilly— “I would take her in front of you while I made you watch.”
Lilly’s heart pounded in her chest. She had never known a man before, and to be taken forcefully by someone as brutal as the major was a punishment worse than death.
“Stay away from her!” Mr. Sommer began to weep. “You can’t do this!”
“I can do whatever I want.” The major turned towards Mr. Sommer and walked over to him.
Standing before him, Major Wagner looked him up and down, and Lilly thought that he was considering what penalty to levy against her father.
“So,” the major continued, “be thankful that I’m not here for carnal purposes. Still, I need you to understand that my mind could change at any given minute, and you, my dear Mr. Sommer, are entirely in charge of your daughter’s fate.”
“What do you want from me?” Mr. Sommer’s tears flowed unrestricted.
“It’s so interesting”—the major clicked his tongue— “when you find someone’s weak point. You’re a brave man, Karl, but when it comes to your daughter’s safety, you show no reserve. Where did Ruth go?”
“I d
on’t know.” Mr. Sommer shook his head.
“You knew she was a Jew, right?” the major pressed, still speaking softly.
“She gave me an Aryan certificate.” Mr. Sommer looked at the major, begging for mercy.
“I’m certain that her documents were forged, and I believe you were aware of this.” The major pointed at Mr. Sommer.
“Please, I—”
“So, I’m going to give you one last chance.” The major turned and examined Lilly with a look that no woman would appreciate. “Where did Ruth go?”
Lilly looked at her father and understood that however much she wanted him to confess, that he couldn’t. She knew that her life was not more important than Ruth’s. She didn’t know if Ruth was a good person or if she deserved what Lilly’s family was about to sacrifice, but she understood, undeniably, that Ruth didn’t deserve to die because of her birth.
“I’ve told you everything I know.” Mr. Sommer hung his head, grasping that there was nothing he could say that would convince the major.
“As I said, Mr. Sommer,” the major sighed, “you’re fortunate that I’m not a lesser man. I won’t make you watch what I’m about to do. Take him outside.” He nodded to his guards.
“No! No! No!” Mr. Sommer screamed over his shoulder as the guards pulled him away and closed the door behind them.
“Major?” Edith asked from her position on the stairs, and Lilly caught the look of disbelief in her eyes.
“Ah, Edith,” the major turned around and spoke cheerfully. “Why don’t you go upstairs? We can have a chat later.”
“What are you going to do to my sist—”
“Get upstairs!” The major withdrew his pistol, firing three shots into the wall near Edith, who ran up the stairs screaming and weeping.
Shaking as her ears rang, Lilly watched in terror as the major spun towards her and retrieved a handkerchief as he dabbed the sweat on his forehead. All she could think about was running into the kitchen to grab a knife. She knew that he would outpace her, but maybe in his inebriated state, she could manage the feat.
“Now, don’t worry, I’m not going to take you.” The major waved to dismiss her fears. “I just want your father to believe that I have. You’re not my preference, anyways.”
The Daughters of Marburg Page 13