by Melody Anne
Okay, maybe not. Reality would soon set in, but for now, her body was sated, her heart was full, and she felt as if she didn’t have a single worry.
“Why do you put on an act, Brielle?”
His tone was soft, gentle, not accusing.
“An act? What do you mean?”
“You’re always pretending to be someone you aren’t.”
“I don’t know where you got that idea. As Popeye said, ‘I yam what I yam.’”
“Very funny, Brielle. Why won’t you open up to me? You did it once.”
“I did that because I’m stupid. And I won’t do it again.”
“Give me something more of yourself,” Colt said.
“I thought I just gave you everything.”
“Only in a sense. Please, give me a reason for this facade of yours.”
To her amazement, she found herself speaking. Was it the way his fingers were working their magic on her back?
“I don’t even know anymore, Colt. I just know that I have to protect myself.” she answered.
“From who?”
“Everyone. When I get close to people, they betray me.” Her eyes drifted shut as she listened to the soothing beat of his calm heart.
“It can’t be everyone, Brielle. What about your family?”
She tensed, but he just kneaded her skin a little bit more, and soon her muscles were relaxing. “We used to be very close. My mother left when I was only three. I didn’t know her, don’t remember missing her. But I did. And when I was thirteen…”
She stopped, her heart racing as she realized what she’d almost revealed. No matter how relaxed she was, that was something she couldn’t speak of — it was something she’d never told another living soul.
“Everything just changed. It didn’t happen overnight. It may be something small, but I remember this well. We went from having dinner together every day to a few times a week, to a couple times a month, to never having dinner with all six of us there at the same time. Some of it was school schedules, some of it was Dad always working, and some of it was when the boys began leaving for college and the house grew more and more empty. But somewhere during that time, it just stopped mattering. It was more of an annoyance when Dad would stop us and ask what was happening in our lives. The days just kept on coming and going, and soon I turned eighteen, graduated high school and left for college. Then, there was only Dad left.”
“But that wouldn’t tear you apart,” he said with justified confusion.
“No. That was just a piece of it. It all happened so gradually, I didn’t even notice it, didn’t notice the walls I’d built, didn’t notice my brothers doing the same. We went from breakfast and dinner together, sharing in each other’s lives, to virtual strangers.”
The sadness began creeping in, and Brielle didn’t want it to. This moment was good, it was pure, it was about feeling something other than pain. She didn’t want to think about her family, didn’t want to think about how it had all fallen apart. Brielle had to change the subject, and to do it fast. “What about you? Why did your parents only have one kid? Wait! I don’t even know if that’s true. That’s so embarrassing. Do you have any siblings?”
She was lying naked with a man who had his hands all over her body, who’d just sated her in the best possible way, yet she knew so little about him. What did that say about her? The euphoria wore off and the defenses she was so famous for began closing in again.
As if he could sense this, he continued rubbing her back and the top of her rounded behind while he spoke. “I had a little brother.”
When he stopped speaking for a little while, Brielle knew what he was about to say wouldn’t be good.
“He was amazing. A miracle baby, actually. My mom had a really difficult pregnancy with me, and the doctor told her she wouldn’t be able to have more children. I never felt alone, though, because, like I’ve said, this is a close-knit community.”
He was quiet again as he gathered his thoughts and Brielle began tracing circles on his chest, offering him the only comfort she knew how to provide.
“My brother came ten years after I was born, and the doctors told my mother she couldn’t carry him full term, told her that it could cost her life if she went through with the pregnancy. She told the doctors she would never sacrifice her child for her own life. So my father babied her, and both of us did all we could to make sure she was healthy and that she’d deliver another healthy child.”
“She made it to seven months, and then her body just couldn’t take the pregnancy anymore. She went into labor and there was nothing the doctors could do to stop it. My brother was born weighing only three pounds, but technology had already come so far by then that he had a fighting chance. His name was Blake. We practically lived at the hospital over the next two months, and I was so proud when I would get to hold him, sitting in the NICU. He was a fighter, right from the start. And it was difficult on Mom, but she was a fighter too, and it looked as if everything was going to work out with a happy ending despite everything the doctors had said.”
He paused again, and Brielle’s heart tightened, anticipating what was coming next. He’d said he had a brother, not that he still did.
“Finally, Blake got to come home. He weighed five and a half pounds and had little wisps of dark hair on his head. His eyes were blue, but mom said that could change. I didn’t care. He was perfect. The first month was amazing. I had a little brother, and I adored him.”
Colt collected himself to finish the story. Brielle desperately wanted to stop him, wanted this to be over with a happy ending, but hadn’t she learned long ago that happy endings were made only for fairy tales?
“He was six months old, nothing wrong with him medically. His medical check-ups were great, he was healthy, and he should have had a long life ahead of him. But then one night my mother woke us up screaming. Dad made it to the room first, and I wasn’t far behind. Mom held Blake in her arms while she was sobbing into the phone for an ambulance, but it was already too late…”
His scratchy voice was her undoing, and more tears fell from Brielle’s eyes. She didn’t want to ask, but she couldn’t stop herself. “What happened?”
“Blake was already dead. He was taken in to the hospital, and tests were ran, but there never was an answer. He died in his sleep. They called it SIDS — sudden infant death syndrome. I searched and searched and searched for answers for years. Our home was safe; it was healthy. I needed an answer and I never got one. He just came and went too fast…”
“Oh, Colt. I’m…I’m so sorry.” What else could she say? Nothing. There was nothing a person could say to make this better. It was never okay to lose a baby — never.
“My mom, after months of devastation, came to me one day and the two of us walked to my brother’s grave — such a small grave, such a small casket they’d buried him in. But we walked there and she had a watery smile as she looked up to the heavens. I’ll never forget that moment,” he said, and she felt a warm teardrop fall on her forehead.
“She said, “Thank you for giving me such a gift. I know it must have been hard for you to let him leave your side, even for the six months I was blessed to have him, but thank you for those six months.”
“Oh my gosh, Colt.” Brielle could say nothing more than that.
“Though my brother was never forgotten, we all finally found a measure of peace.”
She cried for what he had gone through. This was too much — it was all too much. Colt had found a way into her heart, and she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to repair the damage to the wall she’d spent so many years building.
That was her last thought before sleep gave her some respite from the pain she knew would come her way.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
COLT HELD BRIELLE close for much longer than he normally held a woman after sex. For some reason he couldn’t seem to talk himself into letting her go. After he’d shared something with her he hadn’t been planning on sharing, she had drifted off.
He’d felt her body tremble with the sorrow she’d felt as he spoke of Blake, and that had torn him in half.
It was a long time ago, but not something he would ever forget, and not something he normally told anyone. It seemed he wanted to open up with Brielle, a woman he hadn’t thought would ever be able to get beneath his thick skin. He knew they were all wrong for each other.
Then why did it feel so right holding her in his arms. He normally never slept with a woman after sex, but this time he’d decided to close his eyes for only a brief moment. An hour later, he woke up and she was still lying half on top of him. He felt his body stirring again just from the feel of her perfect breasts pressing against his flesh.
For a second, or maybe five, he thought about flipping her onto her back and sinking back inside her heat, finding solace in her arms. Before he could act on that, he reined himself in. This had gotten far heavier than he’d wanted it to already.
Making love to her had seemed like a foregone conclusion, nothing important, just a way to relieve one ache. But the reality was much different from the fantasy he’d created in his head. The reality was much, much better. And she’d made him want to share some of his past with her. Now he was panicking.
He couldn’t want this woman for more than a single romp in the sheets. She was the enemy. She was standing between him and something he really wanted — something he deserved.
There was nowhere for their relationship to go. Nowhere good, anyway. This would only end in disaster for both of them. He knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, so the smartest and best thing he could do for both of them was to climb out of the bed and disappear.
Wait her out.
Okay, that thought didn’t particularly appeal to him. But wasn’t that more than enough reason for him to get moving? Careful not to wake her, he began inching away from beneath her, untangling their limbs as he crawled from the bed.
When he stood up and looked down at her, his heart pounded at the way she grumbled in her sleep and her arm reached out. Was she seeking him out, even while unconscious? That’s what it looked like. After a few seconds, she settled back into a deep sleep, and he carefully pulled the covers up over her and removed temptation from his sight.
And yet, a minute later, he found his eyes caressing her face. Yeah, he had to get away from here, because everything inside him told him not to leave and that was more than enough reason to run as fast as he could.
With fierce determination, Colt turned and began gathering his clothes. Putting on his still-damp jeans was a little more difficult than it had been to pull them off, but a few minutes later he was fully dressed.
He couldn’t walk away without looking down at her peaceful face one last time. He knew that once he stepped from this room, everything would be different. All for the best, though. He quietly opened her bedroom door, slipped out, and closed it gently behind him.
When he emerged from her house, all the men were gone, thankfully. It was only about two in the afternoon and he hadn’t been thinking about her reputation, or about the fact that each of the ranch hands would know exactly what he and Brielle had been up to.
He hung his head in shame at what they would now say about her. He hoped he’d be able to quash any rumors, but just as he started heading toward the barn, his cell phone rang. Looking down at the number, he sighed. This was a call he couldn’t ignore.
“Hello, Tim. What can I do for you?”
He listened to his business manager for several minutes and then cursed. This was definitely not the time to be traveling. He’d walked away from her bed without a word, but he had planned to see her tomorrow. Yes, he wanted distance, but he didn’t want her to feel completely used.
But wouldn’t that actually help him? Wouldn’t she hate him, think he was a monster? Wasn’t that best for the two of them right now?
“Okay. I’ll be there this evening.”
He dialed another number. “Meet me at the airport,” Colt said. “We’re heading out.”
Colt went toward his truck and made his way to the small airport in Sterling, where his collection of aircrafts was stored. He didn’t get to fly nearly as much as he’d like to anymore. Sometimes because of the unpredictable weather, and sometimes because life just got in the way.
Yes, he had men who worked for him, and yes, he could do whatever he wanted to do, but Colt hadn’t been raised that way. His father had worked relentlessly until the day he died, and he’d taught Colt the value of a hard day’s work.
It was something so drummed into him that it would be impossible for him to do anything less than his best. Sure, he’d been spending too much time on Brielle’s ranch lately, but that was work, too. He was working to obtain her land. Hell. Another pang hit him at the deception.
It didn’t take him long to drive to the airport, and when he got to his hangar and opened the giant doors, a grin split his face as he took in his Beechcraft King Air 350i. She really was a beauty. His worries dissipated as he focused on his outside preflight checklist.
His father had flown him all around the States when Colt was just a young boy, and he’d caught the bug early on. He’d begun his first official lessons at age sixteen, and that summer he’d earned his pilot’s license. It hadn’t been enough for him.
As the years went by, he’d pushed himself harder and harder, and now he could fly just about anything. He had several private planes and jets, but this one was his baby, and she definitely got the most attention.
“Wow, you got here fast, Colt.”
Colt turned to find Bradley, his co-pilot. He could fly this turbojet on his own, but it was always good to have a second pilot onboard, especially for some of his bigger planes.
“Yeah, Tim called. I need to get there fast.”
“All right, let’s do this.” That was the reason Colt loved Bradley as a co-pilot. Not only was the man good company, but he also knew his stuff.
Running his hands along the surface of the plane, Colt made sure everything was in place and in working order.
“It looks good on my end,” Bradley said before going around to the passenger side and climbing onboard. Colt joined him, and they read off the inside checklist together.
“Brakes set,” Colt said.
“Throttle…idle,” Bradley checked off.
“Weather…check; instruments set.”
Opening the window — though no one was around, it still had to be done — Bradley yelled out, “Clear prop!”
Then Colt did what he loved best. With the throttle in his hand, he cranked over the engines, first the left, and then the right. No matter how many times he started the plane, it was still a thrill to hear the purr of her engines running.
“Props adjusted for high RPM.”
“Strobes, lights, and radio on.”
“Oil pressure is good.”
Colt lifted the receiver and called for taxi clearance, and they made their way out to the runway. Once they got takeoff clearance, Colt gave her hell with a smile on his face, and just held on as she rushed forward and climbed into the sky.
Colt hoped he’d never lose the feeling of joy during takeoff, never forget how freeing it was to fly. His worries evaporated, and they rarely returned before he landed on solid ground again.
Though he knew better, Colt circled around the Ponderosa Pines Ranch and looked out the windows in hopes of catching just one far-off glimpse of Brielle. Thankfully, his co-pilot didn’t say a word, though the curiosity in his eyes was practically burning a hole in Colt’s skull.
Of course Colt didn’t see her, but as he looked down at her roof, he knew she was there, maybe still sleeping in the bed he’d been in with her less than an hour earlier. No, probably not. The preflight check had taken him half an hour.
“All right, let’s get on our way,” he muttered, and Bradley just nodded, though he looked out his windows, surely wondering what Colt had been searching for.
That was something he couldn’t think about right now. He had to co
ncentrate on the controls of his turboprop jet. He could usually do that with his eyes tied behind his back, so to speak, but today was different.
Hell, his mind was back in a large ranch house, and in bed with a beautiful redhead. Colt only hoped that this strange yearning he had for the girl he planned to chase away would be long gone by the time he returned home to Sterling.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THIS IS RIDICULOUS, Tony! No one will listen to me, and I’m tired of it. I’m about to fire every single person on this ranch.”
Tony looked at Brielle with a raised eyebrow, but it was obvious the man wasn’t concerned. What would she actually do if she did fire everyone? It wasn’t as if she had the slightest clue on how to hire a new set of employees. And the wheat would have to be harvested in about a month, so without a crew she’d be up a creek without a paddle.
But for all Brielle cared right now, it could all rot into the ground. She was in a hellacious mood, one that had been building up steadily over the last two weeks.
For one single day it had seemed that she’d had the men willing to listen to her, but the next day — the day after Colt walked out of her room while she was sleeping off what she’d thought was an afternoon in heaven — she’d tried to talk to the guys and they were back to looking at her like the city girl she was.
Okay, she could admit that her sexy little temptation hadn’t been the best idea ever. She was trying to earn their respect and she’d pulled a Daisy Duke move. Freaking brilliant. But it was all she’d been able to think of at the time.
Using her brains would have been smarter, because even if people thought she was some stupid socialite, Brielle knew she had a good mind.
So she had to prove that she was capable, that she was willing to work, that she was the owner of this place and it was time someone showed her how to do her job. If she ended up having to fire every single one of them, so be it.
It had been two weeks since she’d seen Colt, and though she was trying not to think about that, trying not to dwell on it, she was still hurt. They’d had incredible sex, followed by an intimate moment unlike anything she’d shared with any other person in the universe, and then he disappeared without a trace. No phone calls, text messages, emails — nothing. Not even a quick wave as he passed by in the yard. Of course not.