Addicted to You

by Porscha Sterling

  “I’m not going anywhere and not signing shit. So have fun with your side bitch and then bring your ass home!” she yelled out before Kale drug her the rest of the way out of the club.

  The moment she disappeared, I ran my hand over my face and exhaled heavily. The shit was stressful, and I hadn’t even done a thing to earn it. I halfway wished that I had actually served Tami the divorce papers so at least I could be one step closer to being done with her ass.

  “You didn’t send her these?”

  Turning around, I watched as Sage collected all of the papers from around us, staring hard at them.

  “They look legit… like they came from a real law firm.”

  “Hell nah, I didn’t do no shit like that and I didn’t send her no message to show up here either.” She handed me the papers and I grabbed them, balling them up without even looking. “That dumb chick that I was messing with—Brisha. She’s the one behind it. Fake-ass attorney.”

  Sage’s entire face went blank and I began to wonder what she was thinking. More than likely, she was second-guessing if she really wanted to be involved with someone like me. I had a whole lot of drama coming with me that I was sure she didn’t have room in her life for. I wanted her but if she didn’t feel the same, I couldn’t make her stay.

  Then, as I was about to cut my losses and tell Sage that we needed to put some distance between us for a while, she began to laugh. I watched her, in awe and confusion, wondering what was so funny to her all of a sudden. She was nearly roaring with laughter, like what had happened—whatever it was that I obviously missed—was the funniest thing in the world.

  “I’m sorry, I just—”

  Before she could even complete her sentence, she began laughing again. This time, even harder than before. It was infectious. Before I knew it, I was letting out a few chuckles myself.

  “Yo… what happened just now?”

  Placing her hand on her stomach, Sage inhaled sharply and then exhaled slowly to calm down her laughter.

  “It occurred to me that you have terrible taste in women! Like…” She threw up her hands as she scanned the area around us incredulously. “This right here is only something you hear about in movies. The jump-off is a wannabe lawyer who writes up fake divorce papers and serves them to your wife after tricking her into being at an event that you’ll also be at so that she can start drama and embarrass you. It’s crazy but you have to admit, it would be good for T.V.”

  Running my hand over my mouth, I laughed a little. She had a point there.

  “What can I say? I mind my business and the drama follows me.”

  She snorted. “That’s for sure.”

  “Is all this too much for you?” I asked, feeling crazy about how much I really cared about her answer.

  Looking up, her eyes softened when they met mine. “No, it’s not. I’m not fragile and I’m not easily intimidated. Though I like to avoid drama, if and when it comes, I’m able to deal with it. Especially when it concerns the ones I care for.”

  Damn.

  This chick was absolutely perfect in all ways. She was the complete package and I needed her to be mine. But I didn’t want to be like other niggas I’d seen good girls get wrapped up with. The ones who pulled a good woman into his situation and ended up fucking up her life because she gave so much when he could only offer her so little. I wanted us to be together on equal grounds. I didn’t need to be her burden. That said, I definitely didn’t want her to leave and become another man’s blessing.

  Stepping forward, I closed the space between us, very much aware of all the eyes that were on us. People were no longer staring like we were the main event as they had been when Tami was raising hell, but Sage and I were still very much the focus. I lifted my hands to touch her but stopped, knowing that any wrong moves on my part could make her the subject of some gossipy article written by a blogger with no life. I’d already given them enough to go on already; no need to make Sage the confirmed ‘homewrecker’ in the story.

  “You should leave and let me finish up here,” I said as I took a few paces back. “Too many eyes on us right now and I can’t control myself.”

  “I didn’t ask you to control yourself.” She was baiting me. “You can do what you want.”

  My eyes narrowed in on her. The effect that she had on me was strong. With words and looks alone, she was making my nature rise.

  “And I will,” I vowed. “Call me when you get in.”

  Smirking, she pulled a spiral of hair behind her ear. “I might.”

  As soon as those words left her lips, she slid by me, so close that her hair rubbed against my nose as she walked by. I inhaled the sweet scent and kept my eyes glued on her as she strolled out of the club, grabbing the attention of nearly every man around her as she passed by. All of them wished for a chance with her but I wasn’t about to give any of them the opportunity. The time for waiting around and worrying about Tami’s feelings was over. I had to make Sage mine.

  15

  Ink

  * * *

  The humming of my machine was the soundtrack to my thoughts as Sage sat in front of me in my chair. We were alone once again in the shop. Kale had no clients the entire day and Indie left as soon as she saw Sage walk in. I still couldn’t understand what her issue was those days. It was almost like she wanted nothing to do with me. I wasn’t one to force people to do anything, so I gave her some space. Maybe it was some hormonal female shit.

  “Oh!” She squeezed her eyes closed. “That spot is tender.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m almost done,” I told her. “The chick who normally watches Tamiyah for me when I work late went to Boston to visit her folks. I gotta be back in time to grab my daughter so her mother can go to the club and shake her ass.”

  My disgust was palpable but as soon as the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. I wasn’t the type of man to talk about my child’s mother in front of the next chick. No matter how much I couldn’t stand her in that moment.

  “I shouldn’t have said that. Tami is Tamiyah’s mother and she deserves my respect because of that. I’m mad as hell because she’s been hitting up my phone back to back for the last hour and I already know why. She’s only had Tamiyah for two hours since she picked her up from school and she’s already trying to get rid of her so she can go out.”

  “You have a reason to be upset,” Sage replied, speaking softly. “I think you and Tami misunderstand each other and that’s why you’re always at odds. You both need to learn how to communicate. You used to love her at one time so she can’t be all bad.”

  Her response gave me pause. Whereas most chicks would jump at the opportunity to talk shit about a man’s ex, especially one like Tami, Sage wasn’t.

  “Didn’t you call her a ‘miserable bitch’ a while back when I told you about her trying to keep my daughter away from me?” I teased with a sly smile. Though her back was to me, I could tell by the way her cheeks moved that she was grinning.

  “I did but I may have been dishing out judgment too soon. Now that I know more about you, I can see why she acts the way she does sometimes. She wants your attention… it’s like how a spoiled child does a parent.”

  “The difference is I’m not Tami’s parent, I’m not her man and I’m only her husband by circumstance.”

  Sage giggled. “That kinda rhymed.”

  “I’m multi-talented,” I replied with a shrug.

  The only sound around us became the sporadic buzzing of my tool as I colored in her tattoo, dipping the tip in the various colors of ink on my desk as I finished up what was becoming a masterpiece. We settled into a comfortable silence that I wasn’t in any hurry to break.

  “Ink, tell me something.”

  Cupping the top corner of her ass in my hand as I colored in the lower half of her phoenix tattoo, I was more than a little distracted. When I heard myself say, “Go ahead,” I almost confused my damn self. I’d been so focused on the softness of her skin and her sweet butterscotch scen
t that I was barely paying attention to what she’d said. However, what came next snapped me right out of that shit.

  “Tell me more about when you got locked up. You said the girl accused you of rape when she got pregnant. What really happened?”

  My brows bent so far down on my forehead, they probably connected at the center.

  “I don’t really talk about shit like that.”

  “I know. I want to know everything about you. Your past, your present.” She shrugged. “I mean, people say you shouldn’t ask questions about a person’s exes but I think it gives you a lot of insight on what kind of partner they will be.”

  “Really?” I chuckled a little. “You don’t think people change? That was a long time ago. What does it have to do with me now?”

  She paused for a few seconds, working either my question or her answer around in her mind.

  “People change but, in many ways, they stay the same. Past trauma, hurt or experiences shape the way we view the world and the people in it. It shapes our interactions and how we view and solve problems. It’s important to know.”

  She had a point there. I didn’t want to say I was a man who was emotionally affected by previous relationships but I knew, for a fact, that my dealings with Tami did shape my outlook on many women who followed after her.

  “The first girl, the one who accused me of rape, I didn’t have a relationship with her. We knew of each other. She used to flirt and shit but I didn’t really take it further with her. She got drunk one night, came on to me at a club and it wasn’t the smartest thing to do but I had sex with her anyway. She was in that rebel stage that rich white girls go through. Partying every night, fucking around with whoever. She got pregnant and told me the baby was mine. I wasn’t trying to hear that shit because I knew what was up. Out of all the men she had dealt with, I was the one moving weight, riding in an expensive whip, dressing nice, and she saw dollar signs. She asked me to pay for an abortion and I wasn’t with that shit. I don’t kill babies, period. Mine or anyone else’s. Her pops ended up finding out she was pregnant after she used her parents’ insurance for her doctor’s appointment. They saw the bill and when he asked her about it, she lied. Said she was raped and that I was the one who did it.”

  The days that followed after that had been some of the worst in my life and I could remember them vividly. It felt like my whole city had turned its back on me. I was a nigga from the hood, but I was well-liked by everyone; it didn’t matter their race or financial status. That was how I was able to make moves with my money that others couldn’t do. You couldn’t tell by talking to me that I wasn’t college-educated so I’d been welcomed into arenas that were closed for many niggas that I grew up with. But when I caught that charge, everything changed.

  Sighing, I dropped my tool, thinking back to that moment when I found out what I was being accused of. Tami had been there. When I’d first told her about how I’d cheated on her after the chick tried to pin her baby on me, she was devastated but, on the day I was arrested, she stayed by my side from then on out.

  “The chick’s father was a known businessman so he had clout. They found the videos from the club, saw she was drunk. They made it seem like I drugged her. They said I gave her a roofie and that’s why she couldn’t remember everything.”

  “The date rape drug?” Sage shook her head. “That’s crazy.”

  “Nah, what’s crazy is that a lot of other dudes were trying to speak up for me, to talk about how wild she was and how she was fucking everything moving. Even Kale tried to be a witness for me because he was there that night, but her father was able to get all their testimonies thrown out. The jury never heard them.”

  “But didn’t you have an attorney? Why wasn’t he able to help you?”

  It was a question I’d had all along the way but didn’t find out the answer to until after I was locked up.

  “I made the mistake of hiring an attorney who did business in Chicago. The city is big but it’s small at the same time. Most of the businessmen who do well there are able to make their fortunes because they work together. So, basically, my attorney took my money and then hung me out to dry. From the beginning he was telling me to take a plea deal. He was never on my side. When you have money and the right connections, you have all the power necessary to do whatever you want.”

  Those were things that I hadn’t told anyone who didn’t know me when it all went down but there I was letting it all out for Sage. I hadn’t even told Indie. She knew I’d been locked up before but she didn’t know why. It wasn’t like she couldn’t find it if she went looking for it; I just never brought it up. For whatever reason, no blog had ever picked up the story and I think it was because the chick’s father did all he could to keep her name out of the news. Because of that, my past was pretty much a secret.

  I was shocked at how easily I could speak about it. In fact, I actually felt like, for the first time in a minute, I had someone that I could be real with. Kale was one of my closest friends, but I couldn’t speak to him about no serious shit. We were close because of the history we’d forged in the streets; we did business together and became friends out of our loyalty for one another. Tami was who I used to share my innermost thoughts with but we hadn’t been that way in over a decade. Now Sage seemed to be the one that could take that place.

  “I made a mistake, too. A long time ago,” she began, speaking in a low tone.

  “You mean your ex, right? The one who was married.”

  She nodded but didn’t continue. I went back to adding color to her tattoo and gave her time to decide if she wanted to tell me more. I was almost done, and the artwork looked nice on her skin. It would definitely earn her a place on my wall of tatted fame.

  “I told you the part about me dating him, even after I found out he was married, but what I didn’t say was I realized that from the beginning. He always wore a ring so it’s not like I didn’t know. I wanted him, so I believed him when he said that it was a marriage of convenience and he was leaving her. But, of course, he was lying and he never did. He never planned to.”

  She went silent. This time, I understood exactly what was on her mind.

  “You don’t have to worry about that with me. Yeah, I’m technically married, but Tami and I are never getting back together. I’m not playing you like that. The only reason I’m moving the way I am is because of my daughter. I want to make sure that, legally, I’ll have the right to be in her life. Tamiyah isn’t biologically mine and Tami can make it so I’ll never see her again.”

  I was saying it but deep down I knew there was no way. I’d never let Tami take my daughter from me. That was something I was willing to die about. Until I had a real wife and family, my daughter was the only person that I had left to love in the world.

  “That’s not an option. I have friends in high places, too. I wouldn’t let her do that to you. I fight for my friends.”

  “Your friends?” I grunted, playfully. “I don’t have many friends. And the ones I do, I’ve been rockin’ with them since we were wearing diapers. They proved they deserved their spots through their loyalty. They’ve proven that they will do whatever when it comes to having my back.”

  Sage snapped around to look at me. She would’ve fucked up the tattoo had I not been holding the iron steady in my hands. Her eyes shined as she looked at me a moment longer before speaking.

  “I can be loyal,” she battled back.

  I shot a skeptical look her way.

  “And how would I know that? Loyalty is something that has to be proven.”

  We stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like the better half of forever. Before I realized it, I felt the urge to kiss her. The subtle pout her lips made as she tried to find a way to answer my question was so sexy to me.

  “Well, I—”

  Before Sage could answer, someone started beating hard on the front door of the shop. She flinched but my eyes went to the drawer in the desk next to me where I had my burner stashed. Being tha
t I had served time and was technically a felon, I wasn’t supposed to have it but I did anyway. In my experience, it was better to be caught with a gun than to be caught up in some bullshit without it. I was reaching out to grab it when a voice stopped me.

  “Ink, I know you’re in there! Open up this motherfuckin’ door!”

  I gritted my teeth.

  Tami… the fuck she want?

  “Is that the girl from the other day? Brisha?” I heard Sage ask as I pushed away from her and dropped my machine on the stand next to me.

  “Nah, it’s not,” was all I said.

  Taking steady strides, I walked to the front to open the door, knowing that, once again, Tami was up to her bullshit. After the club incident, she’d given me a good three days of peace but that was all coming to an end. Sage was right; my life would make a hell of a show. Or at least a banging ass book. I just wished I wasn’t the unlucky motherfucka that was living it.

  “Who’s this bitch?” Tami roared as soon as I pulled open the door.

  I couldn’t even see her because she had her phone all up in my face, waving around a video of two people fuckin’ on the screen. Sliding the door closed behind me to block her from another run-in with Sage, I took a closer look at her phone. My chest got tight as I narrowed my eyes. It was Brisha and me, a short clip from when I had dicked her down in the bathroom. From the angle of the video and the giggles in the background, it had been taken by one of her thotty ass friends who had been peeking in from outside.

  I exhaled a short burst of air as my anger multiplied. I had been so wasted that night after dealing with Tami’s bullshit that I hadn’t even thought to lock the door. Truthfully, I hadn’t been planning on being in there with Brisha all that long. As soon as I got my nut off, I tossed the condom and was on my way out.

  “You know we ain’t like that so why all the attitude? Ain’t that the same line that you said to me the other night?” I gritted down on Tami as she cocked her neck to look at me sideways.