Christmas Under the Northern Lights

by Annie O'Neil

  Audrey’s hands moved down his back to his hips, then dipped between his thighs, where the pulsing heat of his desire was building with every passing second. He took both her hands in one of his, then pulled them up and over her head.

  ‘My turn.’ He wanted to enjoy her body before he reached the point of no return. He slipped her fingers around the solid oak roundels that made up the headboard and dropped her a wink. ‘No touching allowed.’

  She whimpered in protest...and then again in pleasure.

  Cooper could get used to this. Taking a leisurely tour of Audrey’s body using his tongue and featherlight kisses to better acquaint himself. There were five freckles that formed a star at the base of her throat. They deserved some attention. And underneath the lacy strips of her bra her nipples were a beautiful dusky rose which...mmm...darkened when he swirled his tongue round them, teasing the soft discs to hard, erect nubs.

  Her ribcage lifted and dropped in short, sharp inhalations of response and desire. They both knew she could let go of the bed railings at any time, but he was pleased to see she was enjoying the added level of eroticism as much as he was.

  When he reached her hips he only had to hover above her skin, his breath barely skimming it, to produce a rippling of goosebumps. He dipped his fingers into the sweet honeyed folds between her legs, touching, teasing, taunting her until she let go of the bed, ran her nails raggedly down his back and begged him to be inside her.

  The temptation proved too much for him. He wanted her, too. Now.

  He pulled her into his arms so that their bare bodies pressed against one another. She held the length of his arousal between her legs, where the hot, wet sensation of the pleasure he’d already brought to her was almost all the invitation he needed.

  He whispered something about protection.

  ‘Please, Coop,’ Audrey whispered after he’d swiftly sheathed himself. ‘Now.’

  He didn’t need a second invitation.

  In one slow, deliberate move he pressed his entire length into her. The heated, pulsing sensation of their bodies connecting was almost too much to bear.

  He looked into Audrey’s eyes to get a feel for what she wanted from him. He saw nothing but desire. Her hips arched up to meet his, instantly sending his body into a series of rhythmic thrusts. Her body matched the fluid moves of his, their most intimate nerve-endings set alight by the other, their movements building to a heated crescendo. Two bodies moving as one, thrusting and arching in complete synchronicity until climax came to them both.

  Later, as he held her in his arms, he tried to think of a time when he’d ever felt so complete. He teased one of her pixie locks away from her eyes. ‘You all right, there, darlin’?’

  She smiled. ‘That’s the first time you’ve called me darling.’

  ‘A milestone for both of us.’ He dropped a kiss onto her forehead. ‘Let it not be the last.’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘YOU TWO SEEM extra-chipper today.’ Jimmy eyed them both warily.

  Audrey hardly dared look at Cooper, because she knew her blush would be instantaneous.

  Cooper carried on humming a jaunty Christmas carol.

  ‘Is this jolly humming as you work thing because it’s Christmas Eve?’ Jimmy persisted. ‘You’re not going to show up in Christmas gear again tomorrow, are you? I claim no responsibility if you get stuck trying to make your way in down my chimney.’

  Audrey laughed and shook her head in the negative. But, honestly, she’d wear a leprechaun outfit if that was all that was to hand, because she felt head to toe happy, happy, happy.

  Making love to Cooper had opened up something in her she hadn’t realised was closed. And she wasn’t just talking about erogenous zones, although...mamma mia...those too.

  Being with him had excavated a part of her heart she hadn’t realised she’d been protecting so fiercely. The part that was desperately worried about pleasing other people. Towing the line. Not making a fuss. Aspiring to a love like her parents’, when it was impossible to know where one of them started and the other began.

  Perhaps that was why missing her mother after her death had been so complicated. Her father and mother had been one unit to her, so growing up with a grief-stricken man had been like living with half a person. A man waiting, and failing, to be made whole again.

  With Cooper she felt cared for, for being exactly who she was, mistakes and all. More to the point, she knew she was in charge of her own destiny. No one else. Being intimate with him had strengthened rather than diminished her desire to pursue the life she wanted.

  It was a big lesson. Particularly when she’d always thought loving someone as intensely as her parents had loved one another only came in one shape and size. But love took different forms. Some couples were glued at the hip. Some people, like her ex, used loyalty as a façade to mask selfishness. In short, every couple was different.

  She was, of course, far too nervous to admit to loving Cooper. Cautious hearts and all that... But somewhere beneath the scar tissue she knew something beautiful and strong was replacing the fear and sorrow her last relationship had left in its wake.

  She hoped he was feeling the same way. Maybe the whistling was a sign that he was finally embracing the love he’d shared with his grandmother and moving beyond his grief.

  As if to confirm it, he did a few play-boxing moves in front of Jimmy. ‘Watch yourself, Jimmy, or we’ll have you in a Santa suit toute de suite!’

  ‘Ach, no.’ Jimmy batted Cooper away. ‘I’m a behind the scenes kind of guy, remember?’

  ‘Aye, right you are, pal.’ Cooper’s expression changed. ‘I hear the lights are going to be out of this world for the Nativity.’

  ‘Better!’ Jimmy grinned, pulling up the leg of his trousers to above his knee.

  Audrey smiled at the pair of them.

  She loved how Cooper’s brogue became broader and more pronounced depending upon if he was speaking to her or one of the locals. It wasn’t put on. It was organic. He wanted people to understand him. He was a man who had learned to live in two worlds, flicking between the two at the drop of a coin.

  Which did beg the question... Would he make tonight—the night Dr Anstruther was officially retiring—the night he decided whether or not he would stay? He seemed so at home here...but she’d never seen him in A&E. He might be equally at ease there. Or more so.

  The thought made her blood run cold. Colder still when she realised she had let Cooper’s presence on Bourtree, and in a shared bed, no less, influence the choices she made about her future. Exactly what she’d promised herself she would never do again.

  She’d heard from Noreen this morning, when Cooper had been in the shower. Noreen had news. She and her husband would, after a short trip home, return to Australia to be with her daughter and their grandchild for good. She’d asked Audrey if she would consider staying. She’d said yes, still basking in the glow of her night with Cooper.

  That glow disappeared in an instant. She was going to have to look at everything afresh. Starting now.

  She forced herself to focus in on the task at hand.

  Cooper had primed the needle for Jimmy’s injection, and after Audrey had given the area above his knee a little swab, he gave him the insulin. The visit didn’t really need the two of them, but honestly it was better with two.

  Her heart clenched.

  If the job was better with two, had she been an idiot to accept it permanently? Would she spend the rest of her life like her father, feeling as if half of her had been stripped away?

  Please, please let that not be the case.

  Oblivious to her internal turmoil, Cooper let out a whoop. ‘Jimmy? Is that you, hitting the fruit?’ Cooper pointed at a bowl of apples and seasonal tangerines on the coffee table.

  ‘Aye...’ Jimmy said, the tiniest hint of colour pinking up his cheeks.

 
Audrey gave him a closer inspection. ‘Jimmy? You’ve lost weight, haven’t you?’

  ‘Can you tell?’ He gave his still very pronounced belly a pat. ‘Down five kilos since you lot roped me into helping out with the Nativity. Cuts down on my night-time snacking,’ he added with a toothy grin.

  ‘It’s clearly making you miserable, Jim,’ Cooper said dryly.

  ‘Aye, right.’ There was a glint in Jimmy’s eye as he continued. ‘Sometimes leading a horse to water is a bit more helpful than the horse might think.’

  ‘You mean stubborn mule, right?’ Cooper gave Jimmy a play-jostle with his elbow, then packed up his kit.

  Jimmy tugged on a pair of imaginary lapels. ‘I’ll have you know this stubborn mule’s social calendar has become rather full since the good people of Bourtree realised my panache with stage lighting.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Yes. I’ve been invited to have Boxing Day tea over at Angela’s.’

  Cooper shot Audrey a glance. If Jimmy hadn’t been looking she was pretty sure there would’ve been a triumphant fist-punch as well.

  ‘That’s grand. Great news, Jimmy.’

  Jimmy gave Cooper and Audrey a playful hooded look. ‘Does this mean the two of you will stop rooting around in my rubbish bin now?’

  ‘What?’ Audrey feigned innocence while Cooper looked over his shoulder as if there might be someone else in the room who was guilty.

  Jimmy waved off their feeble protests. ‘I know I need to lose weight. It’s for my health. And I owe you both a thank you for caring enough to mess around in my bin and get me out of the house. It’s made a difference. The truth is...’ His voice hitched for a minute as emotion got the better of him. ‘The truth is I haven’t been very honest with myself and it’s high time I did just that.’

  That makes two of us, thought Audrey.

  ‘Glad to hear it, Jimmy,’ Cooper said.

  Audrey gave Jimmy a double thumbs-up. She’d be here to see his progress, but she’d let him know that later. Once she’d told Cooper. ‘Keep up the effort. It’s obviously paying dividends.’

  ‘Right, my friend.’ Cooper rubbed his hands together. ‘I’m afraid we’ve got to make a move—but we’re looking forward to seeing the show tonight in all its splendour.’

  ‘So you’re coming?’ Jimmy looked shocked.

  ‘Aye...’ Cooper answered slowly. ‘Why wouldn’t I?’

  ‘Ach, nothing.’ Jimmy tugged his trouser leg back into place and feigned a sudden interest in peeling a tangerine.

  ‘No, please...’ Cooper perched on the armchair across from the sofa. ‘Are folk saying I won’t be coming?’

  Jimmy looked at Audrey, then at Cooper.

  A queasy feeling churned through Audrey’s gut.

  ‘Go on, Jim. You can say anything in front of Audrey that you’d say to me privately.’

  ‘The stakes are up at the Puffin.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘You know...’ Jimmy squirmed. ‘The bets about whether you’ll stay or go. It’s expanded to the Nativity. People thought you wouldn’t go because of your gran, Coop,’ Jimmy said awkwardly.

  ‘And why would they think that?’ Cooper asked tightly.

  ‘You’ve not had a wake...you’ve not really talked about her to folk. And you’ve not said anything to Doc Anstruther. I mean, it’s not down to you to make sure we have a doctor, but—’

  Cooper finished the sentence for him. ‘But folk are expecting it?’

  ‘Aye, well.’ Jimmy gave the back of his head a rub. ‘They’d understand if you didn’t want to stay, of course, but...’

  ‘Oh, would they?’ Cooper said, in a tone that suggested he was already mentally booking his journey back to Glasgow.

  ‘Aye.’ Jimmy nodded. ‘Look, I’m only saying something because I want you to stay. And I’ve not put a bet down at the Puffin, if that’s what you’re thinking. What you’ve done for me has made a real difference. If you were to stay on...you know, as the island doc... I think people would be better off for it.’

  Cooper just stared at him.

  Audrey looked at her watch, desperate for this moment to end. Cooper would be leaving, and she would be staying. That was the new reality. One she’d have to come to terms with.

  She waited until she knew her voice wouldn’t shake when she spoke, then, ‘Cooper, we’ve got to get on to Rhona’s.’

  ‘Aye,’ he said, his eyes not moving from Jimmy’s.

  ‘Cooper, mate... I’m sorry if I stuck my foot in it.’ Jimmy pushed himself up off the sofa to see them out. ‘I just... You made me look in the mirror, you know?’

  Cooper lifted his chin in acknowledgement. ‘I know, pal.’ He gave the man’s shoulder a friendly thump. ‘It’s something we all need to do every now and again.’

  They shook hands and agreed they’d see one another at the Nativity.

  When she and Cooper got in the car, the atmosphere was more like the cold out of doors than the bubbly, effervescent mood they’d initially started the day with.

  ‘You want to talk about it?’ Audrey finally asked.

  Cooper gave a hard-to-read shrug. ‘Let’s get through the day, all right? See how we go.’

  The response whipped what was left of the warm fuzzies away from her heart. This wasn’t the Cooper she’d grown to know and—and love? Was that really what it was she was feeling for him? Love?

  She knew she loved waking up and knowing he’d be part of her day. Even more so when she’d woken up today in his arms. She loved how his doctor-patient care went beyond the obvious. How he listened to and took on board her perspective rather than dismissing it because she was ‘just’ a nurse. She loved how his mouth quirked on one side of his face and then the other before his smile became complete. She loved his touch, his laugh, his scent.

  But this? This cloud that appeared from... Not from nowhere. It was a troubled-childhood-shaped cloud that had taken years to accumulate. The bullying, the fighting back, the parents who hadn’t been interested in being parents. All those things and more had made a man who preferred to be an island unto himself rather than part of an island community...

  Ten minutes later, Audrey bundled up her frustrations and put them away. Their patients deserved their full attention right now. Especially this one. She was pleased to see the ‘back off’ vibes Cooper had been sending out had faded. He was, at heart, a professional.

  They were about to go into Rhona Gillies’s house—she was the young mum nearing the end of her journey with bone cancer—and were all too aware it would be one of their last visits.

  After he tripled-checked the cooler that had Rhona’s blood transfusion supplies in it, he stopped, took a deep breath, and gave Audrey a pointed look. ‘You sure you’re up for this?’

  It tugged at her heart that he cared. Would the new Bourtree doctor care? Would he or she even notice?

  She quickly shelved the thoughts. It was Rhona who mattered now.

  Audrey nodded. Making these sorts of calls was never easy, but they were part of the job and she felt honoured to be a part of them.

  Charlie, Rhona’s husband, opened the door before they reached it. Worry and fatigue were etched into his features. It was clear he knew how bad the situation was.

  ‘How’re you doing, Charlie?’ Cooper asked.

  ‘Rhona’s pretty weak today.’

  ‘Aye, that’s to be expected,’ Cooper said, in a way that managed to sound reassuring. ‘It’s why we thought the blood transfusion would be a good idea.’

  ‘She’s desperate to see the kiddies open their gifts tomorrow. I think if the grim reaper tried to come down the chimney before Santa she’d shoo him out and say he wasn’t welcome until at least after lunch.’ Charlie shook his head and tried for a laugh. ‘You know Rhona... Stubborn as they come.’

  ‘Aye, well, she’s p
roved herself a proper warrior, hasn’t she?’

  Charlie coughed and cleared his throat, obviously unable to answer without letting emotion get the better of him.

  ‘Charlie?’ Cooper put down the cooler in the small porch area and indicated that he should close the front door. ‘We’re obviously here for Rhona. We’ll get this transfusion in her, which will help with her anaemia and hopefully see her through Christmas, but when I asked how you were doing I was asking after you.’

  Audrey’s heart softened. Cooper had it in him to stay if he wanted. That heart of his wasn’t as hard as he thought. But he was the one who had to believe in its strength. Not her.

  Charlie tugged his hand through his hair, which looked as though it hadn’t seen the working end of a comb in a few days. ‘I’m muddling through. Work’s been ever so generous. I’ve had the whole month off to be here with Rhona and the kids, so I can’t really complain, can I—?’

  He stopped, gave his face a scrub, then dug into his pocket for a handkerchief and gave up halfway through, letting the tears fall.

  ‘I keep talking my way through that poem—you know the one about it being better to have loved and lost?’

  Cooper nodded. ‘“’Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.”’

  ‘That’s the one. I used to think it was about break-ups and moving on, but I get it now. It’s about loving someone—really loving someone—and having that be enough, you know? Knowing you’ve felt real, genuine love even though you have to say goodbye far sooner than you imagined.’

  Audrey watched Cooper closely for his reaction. If he were able to do that—concentrate on the love and the times he and his grandmother had spent together that were positive, rather than negatives—it would go a long way towards lifting the burden of guilt he felt.

  Growing and learning from the mistakes they’d made was the only way to move on, she was realising. Which did make her wonder... Could she do the same with Cooper? Love him, as she knew she did, and carry on here on Bourtree without him knowing that her life was richer for having known him?