Jodie tried to leave the past where it belonged. Thankfully, Finn didn’t ask any more questions, so she turned to him.
“So what did you think? Do we still have a deal? Will I be accompanying Mandie and will you be training my horses?”
“Yes, we have a deal, if you’re still willing.”
“Yes.” In spite of Amy, she knew she didn’t have much choice.
“And Amy just wanted to hear you herself. For one reason or another she didn’t like the idea of you playing.”
“So was she serious?” Jodie asked instead. “About me not being able to talk to Mandie?”
“I can give you Mandie’s number if you think anything needs to change,” Finn said.
Relief loosened the tension in Jodie’s shoulders. For a moment she’d thought he was siding with Amy. But knowing that Finn had her back meant more than she’d realized.
“I don’t want to change anything,” Jodie said, getting up. “I just want to go over a few things with her. Get a feel of what she wants to do.”
Finn nodded as he got up as well, and they stood across from each other, as if unsure what else to say.
“Well, I better—”
“So how was—”
“Sorry.”
“Go ahead...”
Jodie chuckled at their truncated conversation. “Please, why don’t you go first?”
Finn laughed as well, his eyes crinkling at the corners, teasing lines appearing at the edges of his mouth. “I was just wondering what set Roany off when you went riding. So I know what to work with her on.”
“I’m not sure. I was out in the pasture with the other horses, which was a mistake. One of them came toward us and Roany spun and bucked. It was completely out of the blue.”
“You didn’t get hurt too badly?”
“My pride more than anything,” Jodie said with a light laugh, downplaying what had actually happened. “The thought of arriving late bothered me more.”
She had an obstinate desire to prove her dependability to him. That had been her biggest inducement to catch an agitated Roany and climb back on. The ride back to the ranch had been a wild and painful one, with Roany bucking a few more times, the other horses converging on them and challenging them. But at least she’d made it.
“I was thinking of coming tomorrow after work to start on the horses,” Finn was saying. “If that’s okay with you?”
“Sure. What time does your shift end?”
“About five thirty.”
“Okay. Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”
She had to bite back the urge to invite him for supper. Being around Amy was too stark a reminder of the impossibility of that situation.
This was strictly a business proposition. Jodie was helping him with the festival. He was helping her with the horses.
Best not to blur the lines.
Chapter Six
“I know you want to talk, Roany,” Finn said, tossing the rope he held toward the horse. “Just focus on me and this will all be over soon.”
The only sounds that could be heard in the silence were the steady beat of Roany’s hooves in the dirt, the occasional clucking from Finn to encourage her.
Jodie sat perched on the top rail of the fence, her attention split between Roany and the man standing in the middle of the round pen, following the horse’s movements as it ran around the perimeter. His cowboy hat shaded his face from the warm afternoon sun and he had rolled up the sleeves of his twill shirt. His faded blue jeans and worn cowboy boots held smudges from the dust of the pen.
Today he looked more approachable. Less like the sheriff’s deputy, more like a man she could spend time with.
He was patient, she thought. Her father would have been yelling long ago, but Finn kept his movements slow and deliberate, flicking the rope at the horse, talking to her in a modulated voice.
“When are you going to let her stop?” Jodie asked, resting her hands on the sun-warmed wood beside her, intrigued by Finn’s patience.
“When she shows her willingness to talk to me. Until then, she’s got to keep going.”
He glanced up at her, their eyes meeting for a brief moment, then looked away, his attention back on the horse.
Jodie swallowed down her reaction. She was attracted to him, but always, behind that, was a feeling of vulnerability. Unworthiness. She couldn’t put herself in that position again. Given her history with her father and Lane, her walls were up pretty high.
But this is Finn.
When his truck had pulled up into the yard an hour ago, Jodie had struggled between the need to be out here helping him and the desire to stay away. To protect herself from feelings that were taking root. But when she saw him ambling across the pasture toward Roany, hands at his side, dangling the halter rope, easy and calm, she couldn’t stop the unwelcome uptick of her heartbeat.
But a deal was a deal, so she had given herself a stern talking-to about how she was here for only a short while. How she had a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to go touring with a band.
So why did the thought of traveling for six months not give her the pleasure it once had? Why did the ranch, a place she used to hate, seem to be calling her to stay, rest and catch her breath?
“So why do you keep her moving?” she asked, stifling her dangerous thoughts.
You’ve got to look out for yourself because no one else will.
“I’m simulating what happens in the pasture with the other horses, using their language. They all chase and push each other until one yields. Roany is the top horse and so she’ll have a harder time surrendering to me, but you’ll see it when she does. I’m letting her realize that I’m the boss. When she finally understands, I’ll reward her.” He laughed lightly then, firing Jodie an apologetic glance. “Sorry. Talking too much.”
“No. This is interesting. My dad’s method of training was increasing the decibels.”
“I have a hard time seeing that. I learned quite a bit from him.”
Finn’s comment underlined the disconnect between her father’s public persona and his private one. Finn’s perception of him versus Jodie’s. So, again, she didn’t elaborate.
Roany turned her head toward him, then dropped it just enough, her tongue working her lips.
“Good girl,” Finn said, lowering the rope and standing perfectly still. Roany came toward him and he rewarded her by petting her. “See what she did with her mouth? That was her way of showing her submission to me. It’s how horses out in the pasture or in the wild talk to each other, as well.”
“So now what do you do?”
“Now we work the other side. Keep a balance.” He turned Roany around and got her moving again, in the other direction. But this time it didn’t take as long for her to submit, and soon he was rewarding her. “Horses want to please us. They simply need to know what we want.”
“Well, I certainly didn’t want to end up on the ground yesterday,” Jodie said. Her leg was still sore, the scrape on her forehead still stinging. “I somehow thought that she would remember me and listen better.”
“Roany was feeling snorty the other day. Horses need constant work. They’re always testing you. I should have warned you. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize for my dumb choices,” Jodie said.
“Why don’t you come down from that fence? Talk to her yourself?”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to interfere.”
“If I was starting from scratch, I wouldn’t let you in here, but because I’m only reteaching what she knows, it doesn’t hurt for you to be involved. Especially if you figure on riding her again. And I think you should.”
“By myself?”
“No. But I’d like to take her out and work with her on a trail. We can go tomorrow w
hen I’m done with work. I’d like to ride her myself, make sure she’s relearned some of her lessons.”
“So which horse would I ride?”
“I’ll bring one of mine. Then you can see what a well-trained horse is like to ride, and watch me work with Roany.”
The thought of going out into the hills, where she had initially been headed with Roany, tugged at Jodie’s emotions. She had missed riding while she’d been away. Missed the freedom she felt in the quiet, open spaces.
And spending some time with Finn?
Had nothing to do with it.
“Okay. That sounds good.”
“I’ll let you know when I can come.” He gestured to her. “But for now you still need to establish some authority with this horse if you ever want to ride her again.”
Still she hesitated, because she didn’t want Finn to see how stiff she was from her ride and her fall yesterday, and because she had promised herself that she would keep her distance from him.
“She’ll be fine. You don’t need to be afraid.”
The word afraid stung her McCauley pride. And that forced her to jump off the fence, all the while struggling to ignore the pain shooting through her leg.
Finn’s scowl told her how unsuccessful she had been.
“You okay?”
“Just out of shape,” she said, forcing a smile to cover up the wince.
“Are you sure?” He tipped his head to one side, gently brushing her hair away from her forehead. She knew it was a casual gesture, but it felt too good. It had been a long time since anyone besides her sisters cared how she was doing. She didn’t like how it created another tiny connection between them.
“This scrape looks better,” he said, the concern in his voice and his touch resurrecting the same emotions they had the other day.
“It’s fine. Just have to be extracareful with the hair flatiron,” she joked, pulling back, trying to inject a casual note into a conversation veering into dangerous territory. “It’ll heal and give me a story to tell my friends when I leave.”
“Of course.” His tone was abrupt. As if he was disappointed.
You’re reading more into this than is safe. You know how life works.
The voice of reality grounded her and made her focus on Roany, who watched her as if waiting for some signal of what she wanted.
“So what do you want me to do?”
“Just talk to her. Then we’ll do some pressure and release work.”
Jodie took the lead rope and stroked Roany’s nose. “Okay, so I’m hoping you won’t toss me off again if we spend some time together here,” she said to the horse. “You realize that I don’t quite trust you. Twice thrown—”
“She threw you twice?”
“Once up in the pasture, and then later on, as we headed home.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that?”
“Didn’t think it was necessary.”
“Sounds as though I’ll need to refocus on basic discipline and reward.”
“That seems harsh,” Jodie said, keeping her attention on the mare, trying to stifle her awareness of Finn as he stepped closer, his arm brushing hers as he took Roany’s halter from her.
“Mostly it’s about guidance. Making it easy for her to do what you want her to, and hard for her to do what she prefers.”
“Basically, then, it’s about punishment?” Seemed as if Finn was like her father after all. “The law enforcement part of Finn Hicks coming out?”
He slanted her a look of disapproval. “You make it sound as if that’s a bad thing.”
Jodie wrapped her arms around her midsection, taking a step away from him. “I spent two months of every year living with the long arm of the law.”
The day that she’d decided to not come to the ranch was the day she’d promised herself her father would have no more influence over her life. She had made her own choice and she had chosen not to see him.
“Your dad was always quite proud of being a sheriff,” Finn said, taking her comment at face value. “I was always surprised he didn’t sell the ranch and stick to law.”
“He inherited the ranch from his father, who was a cousin to the Bannisters. They are the family who own the ranch that celebrated their one-hundred-and-fifty-year anniversary last year.”
“I noticed you didn’t come home for that,” Finn said.
“I was busy. And I was never as close to my distantly related cousins as Lauren was.” Also, she’d been working, saving up for her next trip, and had had no desire to see her father. “But I think my dad always felt that he couldn’t sell a place full of family history.”
“But you’ll sell it?”
“The place holds no amazing memories for me,” she admitted.
Finn nodded, walking slowly back and forth as he led Roany through what looked like a pattern. “No good memories at all?”
“I have some that aren’t part of the ranch. Why do you ask?”
He shot her a glance, a smile lifting one corner of his mouth. “I guess I’d just like to know what makes you tick.”
Why did that matter to him?
She couldn’t let herself think too much about that. Instead, she reached out and patted Roany, establishing her own connection with the animal, her resistance to Finn wearing away under his quiet insistence.
Pressure and release.
The thought flitted through her mind and she smiled.
“What’s so funny?”
She shook her head, looking over at him. “I feel like you’re using your horse-training tactics on me.”
“All part of my charm.”
Her smile grew as she tucked her hair behind her ear.
“I made some bad mistakes that summer,” Jodie said, going back to their original conversation. “I wish...I wish things had turned out differently.”
His eyes caught hers and for a moment awareness arced between them.
“I do, too.” That was all he said before turning back to the horse.
* * *
Finn led Roany around the pen, his heart beating faster at Jodie’s last comment.
He felt as if he and she hovered on the edge of some unnamed territory.
Did he dare go there? She was leaving soon. He felt as if he had to remind himself of that.
Finally his curiosity won out. “So what happened back then?” he asked.
“That summer I stood you up?”
He tossed her a look over his shoulder, adding a grin. “The summer you tore my heart into a million little pieces, then tossed them out the window of your life.”
She laughed, as if relieved. “You seem to have recovered.”
“I’m resilient.”
“So I hear. You even got engaged.”
He was surprised she knew. But then this was Saddlebank. There were no secrets in this town.
He nodded. “Yes. Denise.” Saying her name brought the usual note of grief. However it seemed to be diminishing as time went by.
Especially the past few days.
“Can I ask what happened to her?” Jodie asked.
“She died a couple of months after we got engaged.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know that.”
He gave Jodie a reassuring smile. “It happened four years ago. She was a nurse, a lovely person. Very strong in her faith. Very involved in the church. In fact, it was thanks to your father that we got together. He met her at the hospital in Bozeman when he escorted a prisoner there. She was so compassionate, he said. He encouraged me to date her and I was glad I did.”
“She sounds like the perfect match for you.”
“She was. I loved her a lot.” He glanced Jodie’s way, wanting to bridge the gap stretching between them since she’d left. �
�How about you? You meet anyone?”
She fiddled with the hem of her sweater. “I did. He wasn’t involved in church, though he was a good person.”
“What happened?”
“We had a falling out.”
Her words were sparse, as if they still caused her pain.
“Now I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “He wasn’t the right person for me. And I made some mistakes, as usual. Some of the decisions I’d made I should have thought through better.”
“Like your decision not to go for your audition?” he asked.
“That decision was taken out of my hands,” she said. “Literally.”
“What do you mean?” Finn made another round with Roany, then led her to the gate leading to the pasture. He had done enough work with her for now. Time for a break.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jodie said, her voice quiet but determined.
“You’re leaving soon,” he replied, fighting down his frustration. “Why don’t you tell me? I’d really like to know what happened.”
Jodie sighed, her eyes flicking from him to Roany. “What does it matter? That was a long time ago.”
“Call it male pride,” he said with a light laugh, determined to show her that he was simply interested. Nothing more. “I guess I’d like to know why you didn’t want to go on that date with me.” And why, instead of going out with him, she’d been hanging around the next day with Jaden, of all people.
“If you really want to know, I was pretty happy when you asked me out. You were a good guy.” She busied herself unlatching the gate, her hair falling over her face, hiding her expression. “I really enjoyed our dates together. And later that summer when I got the call for the audition, it seemed too good to be true. I guess I hardly dared believe something good could happen to me. I was kind of mixed up about what I wanted to do. Going for the audition made me nervous. Thinking about getting serious with you even more.”
“I can’t imagine you nervous about anything.”
“Well, I was, after we had gone out a couple of times. I knew things were getting, well, more serious. And then, because I was nervous, I made another dumb decision when I want to the party at Jaden’s. I remember sitting there, thinking about you and about the audition, and realized what I was doing was crazy. I didn’t need to live like this. I had good things to look forward to...”
Wrangling the Cowboy's Heart Page 7