by Xyla Turner
His older, more experienced teammates, specifically Matt, tried to tell him the price of fame includes many minutes. One minute they praise him and the next minute, they will crucify him. He heard it, but did not understand it until that day he heard them berating him on the news program. From that day forward, he did not dance to the drum of the media, especially the sports reporters. He was fined a few times, when he did not show. His coach pulled him aside and explained the fine, but also warned him that, he was an upcoming leader on the young team and he needed to use that wisely. Shane heard him, but underneath his lashing out, he was hurt.
Football did not come into Shane’s life until high school, when the track coach saw him running down the street racing one of his players. The coach tried to get him to join track, but Shane wasn’t interested, so he told the football coach about him and Shane was definitely interested. All the football players got the girls. That was a no-brainer. The great thing about his high school football coach, was that he was a really good one and he taught Shane everything. Both of his parents supported him by coming to his practices and games, but they also put up the money for camps and summer leagues. By his senior year, Shane was breaking records and attracting college recruiters. By his junior year in college, he was drawing the pro recruiters attention, although the only team he wanted to play for was the Redskins. He was a native Washingtonian, from Southeast D.C., one of the roughest areas in the city, but Shane had lived on a good block. The neighbors looked out for him and his sisters and if they even smelled there was trouble, they would quickly intervene or tell their parents. His mom always said, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ and that was something she heavily relied on from the neighbors and schools. This was probably another reason why they did not want to leave the neighborhood.
The next day, Shane had his usual amount of anxiousness, even though it was the division championship game. He wanted to win, but he also understood stressing about that would not make him play any better. Vivian was still out of town which was good since she would have been trying to engage him in some sort of sexual activity. Normally, this was fine, but never the day before a game. She knew that was his rule, actually for all of the players it was a rule, for some it was two or more days. Yet, she would always try and he never knew why. It was like this sick game she had in her head. He called her out on it a few times, but she just shrugged and said she was horny. It never sat right with him, because was she simply horny before every game?
Shane had proposed to her in bed after she surprised him on his birthday. Vivian kept hinting towards settling down and she had passed some test, excluding the mom, dad, and sister interrogations. His little sister, Mindy, didn’t like her, nor did his big sister, Sandra, care too much for her either. Mom thought she was pompous and Dad said she was a gold digger. This was all determined after one evening with her, so Shane begged them to give her another chance. Vivian, on the other hand, made every excuse in the world not to have to meet up with Shane’s family again. So, she didn’t pass that test. She did pass the pre-nuptials test, but that was done via his lawyer, not from him. His lawyer was fired for doing that, but on some level, Shane was glad that she passed the test.
Shane dialed her number to let her know about his father.
“Hey lover boy,” she purred.
“Hey babe, I just wanted you to know that…”
She cut him off, “You will not believe the gown I just bought. It is the most exquisite reception gown. Just wait to you see it.”
“Yeah, okay. So, my pops…”
“Ohhh, and I bought a tennis bracelet that will go perfectly with my wedding shoes. They have the same diamond and everything. You might have to increase my wedding allowance though. Say a hundred more.”
Shane had taken away the phone and was staring at it. “A hundred more what?” he asked.
“A hundred thousand, silly.” She chuckled, “This is going to be the wedding of the year. You should come up today, so we can celebrate.”
“The playoff game is today.” Shane felt like he was in the twilight zone. “Why don’t you know that? Why aren’t you here? You’re in Canada shopping and I’m dealing with all sorts of drama right now.”
He felt himself slipping, but realized he had a game in a few hours.
“Ohh, Shaney, I’ll make it up to you. I promise,” she said in that stupid baby voice Shane hated to hear.
Shane always thought when she talked this way. They were both adults, why can’t she talk like one?”
“Forget it.” Shane hung up the phone.
He had a game, he needed to be prepared for it and not irritated. The one exam that meant the most to Shane, was the one she was not passing and that was simply being there when he needed her.
Like now.
Despite his earlier conversations with his parents and Vivian, he had a spectacular game. Mom insisted that Dad was okay and Vivian kept calling back until he turned his phone completely off. They won the division championship and him, Keith and Matt were selected to meet with reporters in the press room. Everybody knew of his affinity with them, but since all three of them had a spectacular game, those were the rules. He actually convinced the guys to go in with him singing ‘We are the Champions’.
Matt was wary, but after thinking better of it, said that he would. He was their captain and fearless leader, so if he were down, it would be cool. Shane had something planned for if they lost, he was still going to sing, ‘Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye’. Matt and Keith would not have gone along with that, but he didn’t mind being a loner when it came to those pesky reporters.
As they entered, many of them laughed and even chimed in to sing the song. Some of them looked annoyed, as they just wanted them to play in the circus as usual. He saw the usual suspects and even some new faces, but to him they were all reporters. The guys had stopped singing, but when one called on a reporter, Shane started to sing again, blocking him out. Eventually, Matthew tapped him with a look of ‘cut it out’. Shane stopped, but only because while he thought the dog and pony show was ridiculous, some of them took it seriously and he did not want to disrespect them in the process. The other reason he stopped was because he had just turned on his phone and had so many messages and voicemails, not from just Vivian, but his family too.
He started to read his little sister’s text, when he heard his name come from the gravelly voice reporter, nobody could ever mistake.
Tony Wiggins.
Shane looked up with one raised eyebrow, communicating many things, but also challenging him to the duel he knew he was looking for by calling on his name. He had on an off-white shirt, that had seen better days, a brown tie that was loosened and at least two days of hair on his cheeks and chin. His face was pale and he had red blotches on his cheeks, as if he were drunk. His stringy blond hair was receding and his eyes expressed little. The man was unkempt and looked like he did not care about his life, profession or even himself. This made sense, why he was so boisterous and a bully, but he always hit below the belt. Shane figured the worst he could say was that he dropped the ball at the twenty-yard line, besides that, he had a great game.
“Go on, at your own peril,” Matt said, while shaking his head.
Shane internally laughed, because he was there when he and Wiggins had gone at it before. Neither of them would back down, but Shane got the last laugh when the entire press team told Wiggins to shut up. After that, Wiggins left him alone.
“So Shane, how does this ‘hardly should be celebrated’ win equate to the passing of your father?”
Shane squinted his eyes and kept replaying what the man said over in his head. “Excuse me?” he finally asked.
A hush went around the room which was rare, then Wiggins repeated his question. “How does this win, y’all shouldn’t be celebrating, but strategizing equate to the passing of your father?”
Matt stood up, “What the hell Wiggins? What kind of question is that?”
Murmuri
ng started going through the crowd, as Keith growled and got up. Shane was still trying to understand what he meant by his father passing, when he saw Mindy calling pop up on his phone. He remained seated and picked up the phone. The only words he heard was - get off the stage.
“What?” he was murmuring in the phone.
Matt was behind him, while Keith was on his side.
“Come on man? Let’s go.” Matt was staring at him with concern.
“What the hell happened Mindy?” he roared in the phone.
She exhaled and said, “Dad passed away, Matt. He passed just before your game.”
Shane dropped the phone and swept the audience looking for Wiggins. During his sweep, he saw a woman who had tears in her eyes. She was a reporter according to the badge, but the look of hurt in her eyes reflected the same hurt he felt in his chest. He also saw anger in her, but hers was no match for his. One reporter was going to pay. When he went to get up, Keith and Matt already had him in a lock and were carrying him out of the room. He struggled the entire way to their coach’s office. Away from reporters, away from the press and away from Wiggins.
They nearly sat on him, until he started to fizzle out. His coach was bent down on one knee next to him, saying something, but Shane could not hear one word. All he saw was his entire world ending just like that. It reminded him of the former President Bush and when he heard of the attack on the World Trade Center on national television. His face was ashen, because one of the things the man valued was just taken down.
The next two weeks went by in a haze. Shane planned the funeral and simply told his mom and sisters what was going to happen. He mostly spoke at them and not to them. Shane was still livid at the fact they did not tell him his father was that sick and had passed away. His mother tried to scold him about his sullen behavior, but he gave her one look and she started crying. Sandra and Mindy tried, but to no avail. Shane was simply living and he did not care about the others since his feelings were based on the fact that they did not care about him.
Austin, Shane’s longtime friend, was the first to call when he saw the footage on television about his father. He played for the Falcons, so he knew the qualms of being under the microscope all too well. The two men had many things in common. They were both the oldest, had been in the league for five years, had their entire careers ahead of them and they were enjoying the ride. Sometimes, a little too much. Nevertheless, the men were the best of friends, so when tragedy hit, Austin made sure his friend knew he could count on him.
Vivian came back to DC after Shane’s father passed and tried to comfort him, but he told her the wedding was off and she should get whatever she had at his house out or he would throw it away. She did not take kindly to this at all.
“What do you mean the wedding is off?” she screamed at him, with a red teddy on that almost repulsed him.
What woman in her right mind would try to seduce a man who has just lost his father, unless it was something he initiated, Shane wondered? He just came back home from setting up the funeral arrangements and he hadn’t spoken to her since he hung up on her the day before, so why would he be interested in speaking with her now?
“Exactly, what I said. What is wrong with you?” Shane gestured to her, moving his hand, palm up towards her. “What are you thinking?”
“Oh, Shaney, you are just upset.” She tried to look seductive walking towards him.
“Stop that,” he yelled. “I’m not Shaney, I’m not Shaney poo, my name is Shane and I’m telling you this wedding is off. So get whatever you have here, and get out.”
Shane walked past her, slammed his office door and locked it. Vivian started banging on the door, calling him a selfish bastard, said she had bought all of this stuff, how could he ruin her life and he wasn’t even that good of a player. Shane shook his head and thought of what his father had called her. He called security to escort her out, as he finished the preparations for the funeral on Friday and his one-way ticket to London on Saturday.
He hadn’t contacted the league, teammates, agent or lawyer about anything. Shane, actually had his phone turned off, after he told Austin his plans. He was sure there were rumors floating about whether or not he was coming back to play for the Redskins or play at all. He could not dispel any of them, because he didn’t know himself.
The funeral was the second saddest days of his life, as many people came, but Shane wondered how many came because of his father or of him. There was to be no press or paparazzi at any cost, because Shane would have likely lost it on one of them. If they were there, he did not know and people probably kept them hidden from him anyway. Austin came for a few hours to show his condolences, but there wasn’t much to say. Nobody messed with him, nobody asked any questions and nobody lingered around him too long, except his sister Mindy. She cornered him at the repast and gave him a thing or two to think about.
“Listen, you lost Dad and so did we. The family didn’t want you to know and neither did Dad. He swore that we couldn’t tell you. I told you. I texted you to call me, because your phone was off. So you can be mad all you want, but we were looking out for you,” she snapped and walked away from him.
She was five-foot and one-inch, a little on the chubby side, but it was cute on her. She didn’t think so, but everyone else did. She had long natural hair, that was usually pressed down her back. Today, she had on a black dress, black glasses and her hair was pinned up. He was in a funk, but she was right. They had all lost him.
After the repast, he and the family went back to his parent’s house and remained silent. Sandra, the vocal one out of the group, tried to talk about some good memories with their father, but nobody was in the mood. Eventually, their mom said she was going to bed, Sandra said that her husband was on his way to pick her up, leaving Shane and Mindy.
“Min, sorry, you’re right. I just don’t know how to deal,” he finally uttered.
“I get it.” She shook her head, “It was so sudden, you know?”
“Yeah, I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“Okay, well, when you do. Call me.” She got up and started to go upstairs, but halted on the third step. “Where was Vivian?”
“I called it off,” he answered.
“Good.” She continued to climb the steps.
Mindy still stayed at the house, but Sandra left years ago. They were all stair steps in age. Mindy was twenty-seven, Shane was twenty-eight and Sandra was twenty-nine. Their parents always acted like they planned it that way. Sandra never came back home after college, she rented an apartment in Northeast DC and found her husband a few years later. Mindy did not seem to want to go anywhere, nor were their parents going to force her. She hadn’t settled on a career, nor had she decided what she wanted to do in her life. It was probably good to have her with their mom during this time.
Shane wrote a quick note, stating that he would be out of the country, but if the family needed to make contact, he wrote his new number down. He sat there for a while since it felt surreal. Like his father was sitting there with him as they had done many times in the past. Parts of Shane did not want to leave and parts of him needed to depart. His father was his rock and he was no longer available. What of his legacy would people remember about him?
4
No ‘Get Over It’ Button
An entire month had passed since the horrid event at the last home game for the Redskins. They went on to play in the semi-finals, but lost during the first round. Diamond was scared people were going to say that it was because Sinclair was not there, but nobody even muttered that thought. She also saw no sign of Wiggins and wondered if he were canned. He should have been or something; an evil something. The only good thing that Diamond remembered from that wretched day was the brawl that happened afterward.
Once they carried Sinclair out of there, which she was glad about, one reporter from Fox turned and called Wiggins the asshole of the century and another reporter simply decked him. Diamond did not know if Wiggins was just drun
k off his butt or what, but he kept trying to fight back and after a while, they started to pound on him. Security had to come and break it up, but it was definitely the highlight of her day, especially after what he just did. She did not by any means condone violence, but she would not pretend to not have enjoyed watching that.
No one had heard from Sinclair since that day. It was like he dropped off the face of the earth. She did not know why she was so worried about the man, but what just happened to him on national television, was heartbreaking. She even cried when Tony Wiggins had said it and seeing his reaction, like his whole world just tilted. Diamond started to do some research on Shane Sinclair and found out that he was very close to his family. His father had a few charities that he ran and so did Shane. They still lived in their Southeast DC home and he was a middle child. She kept telling herself that she was just doing research, but she felt drawn towards the man. She wasn’t sure if it was because they shared a moment when he received the most devastating news a son could hear or simple compassion for the method the news was delivered.
It had only been four months since Diamond had moved to D.C., so her cousins, Trudy and Bridget, thought it would be a great idea to come and visit. She thought it was great too, because they could meet Eddie and Regina and the weather was currently similar to Cali’s minus the earthquakes. They arrived on Sunday and wanted to see every DC tourist attraction there was, including the Big Chair. Diamond had not seen most of these herself, because she did not have a welcoming party when she arrived. Eddie and Regina, were both from the district, so there was no way they would play tourist for the day. She even asked and they laughed at her.
On the third day, Trudy kept encouraging Diamond to date, while Bridget remained quiet. They both knew of the situation that Diamond just came out of, so she could not figure out what their game was.
“Why are you pushing this, Trudy?” Diamond asked, a little annoyed.