by Xyla Turner
Vivian was only five-foot, five-inches, but she always wore heels that were four inches or higher. Shane swore she could run a marathon in those stilts because she always had them on and he had never seen her steps falter. That evening, her shoes were yellow, like the bow in her hair on the side. She was a beautiful woman, Shane would admit, but he did not know if it was because of their last argument where she said some things that were below the belt or he just no longer cared for her in that way, but she was not doing it for him that night.
“Shaney.” She gasped, “Sorry. I mean Shane.”
“Vivian.” He stood to greet her, nodding his acknowledgment.
Shane noticed that she seemed nervous, as she kept fidgeting under the table. This was her meeting, so he wanted her to lead it because he also wanted closure.
“So, uh. You look good,” she stated.
“So do you.”
“I, uh. I know that I wanted to meet for closure because that is important. I’ve been thinking about you so much and your father passing. I just regret not being there for you. I mean, what kind of fiancée is that? Right? Shaney. Sorry, Shane. I just wanted to apologize. I was so wrong and I really wish you’d forgive me. I don’t deserve it, but I’m begging you. My heart aches and I feel like I lost a limb or something.”
Shane was not sure what to make of her words since they were from out of left field. Vivian did not beg for anything, ever. This was completely out of her character, which Shane figured meant she was either desperate or really sorry.
“I know this sounds crazy, but I want to give us another try. I don’t want it to end like it did. We were engaged for God’s sake. We weren’t so bad, right? We worked? We had a great sex life. We worked, Shane. Don’t throw that away.”
“Vivian, I appreciate your words. However, we really didn’t work. We existed. There is a difference. We did what we did, but were you really happy? You were barely ever around. I was barely around - how did we work?”
“No, Shane. I was happy. You make me happy. We worked. Our schedules are different as I’m always doing shoots, but it worked. You are usually in football mode or the season is going and if I’m here I try to make them.”
“Vivian, you’ve made one of my games out of the year we were together. Our schedules are different, but our only way to connect should not be sex. That’s not happy Vivian.”
“I love you. Why are you throwing this away? Are you with that reporter?”
Shane blinked at her words.
“What does the reporter have to do with this conversation?” he asked her pointedly.
“It seems your time has been occupied with her, so I figured she must have turned you away from me.”
“She doesn’t even know about you and we are only just friends, but that’s none of your business. She has nothing to do with our discussion. This is about you and me, Vivian.”
“Don’t you love me?” she asked.
“I have a love for you, but I’m not in love with you. I care for you. I do. However, I think we are saving ourselves a headache and divorce later. I’m not sure about you, but my parents were married for over thirty years and that’s the type of relationship I want.”
“Well, how will you know if you don’t try?” she pleaded.
“This is not a game, Vivian. You are talking about our lives and livelihood.”
“Exactly and I love you. That hasn’t changed for me. I’m not sure how it could just turn that way for you. I’m sick over the loss of us and you’re just moving on.”
“Vivian, stop. You don’t know what you are talking about. I’m not moving on, there is no one.”
“Shane, who are you kidding?” She slammed her purse on the table that was between us. “I know you don’t look at the media like that, but the way you look at her.” She exhaled and looked away. “You need to see the way you look at her.”
“The way I look at her?” Shane exclaimed.
“Yes, Shane.” She snatched her purse from the table and stood. “After you look at those pictures, then you call me and tell me you haven’t moved on.”
At that, Vivian turned on her heels and walked out of the restaurant. Shane refused to stop her, since this was her idea, but he was more intrigued by these pictures. He made a mental note to look at them when he arrived home. Shane did not intend to have dinner by himself at the table, so he made his way to the bar and ordered the salmon, roasted potatoes and cauliflower. As he thought about Vivian, Diamond, his dad and football, he saw a flash of orange pass the screen. When he looked up, he saw that the channel had changed to an awards show. Shane was about to signal for the bartender to change it back, when he saw a familiar face stride across the screen. It was confirmed, when the words, ‘Randall Jefferson’ unfolded at the bottom of the screen.
Shane had met him on several occasions and he had been to a few of his parties because Keith brought him. Keith who swore he was a solid man, but at this moment, he was the enemy. His arms were locked with Diamond Reeves. Her hair was different, her gown was more revealing than her normal work or sports attire, but she was absolutely beautiful and they looked like the perfect couple. Despite this, something was wrong with the picture and Shane could not understand why his chest was aching. He rubbed it a couple of times and decided to switch to water instead of the half of beer he'd consumed.
The bartender brought his food out but Shane had lost his appetite. The woman could not be his friend, but she could go to awards shows with basketball players. She pushed him away, claiming it was a conflict of interest, but she was smiling and showing all her teeth to Jefferson from the Wizards. He did not want to see them anymore, but they were being interviewed. He was forced to stare at her up close, noticing that she was absolutely flawless. She was perfect and they looked perfect together.
Shit.
“Hey, can I get this to go?” Shane rumbled.
“Sure thing,” the bartender called back and disappeared.
They were still being interviewed and now she was talking. She told the guy this was her first time at an awards show. If she had told him that, he would have taken her. She never told him, Shane thought. She even said, it was surreal. He could not take too much more of this. His Diamond was with another man, experiencing things for the first time and not with him. She wanted nothing to do with him and he could not understand why.
Once he received the takeout plate for his food, Shane quickly packed it up and drove home. The ache in his chest was still there, so he took a cold shower to cool off. He tried to recall what he had for lunch and if it was heartburn. He was so unsettled he called his mom to ask what it could be.
“Mom, what does it mean when your chest hurts?” he asked.
“What do you mean your chest hurts?” She was alarmed. “Wait, ohhhhhh.”
“What, what?” he asked impatiently.
“Does this have anything to do with that reporter being with Randall Jefferson? Hmm?” his mom asked.
Shane’s curiosity quickly disseminated to annoyance.
“Mom, give me a break. When did you start watching award shows?”
“Ever since Kanye started hijacking the microphone,” his mom replied. “He’s running for President, you know?”
“Great,” Shane muttered under his breath.
His mom laughed, then added, “That feeling my dear boy is one of a few things, but I’ll narrow it down to two. Heartbreak and jealousy. Since that there boy, Jefferson, looks like your father did when he was young. I see what she sees in him. I’m not sure why she don’t see that in you, but I wonder if you ever told her how you felt.”
“Feel about what?” he inquired.
“Feel about her. Your feelings about her. Shane. Have you told her?”
“There is nothing to tell. She doesn’t want to be my friend. She wouldn’t even talk to me, so I let it go. I don’t feel any ways about it. Just disappointed, if I had to put an emotion to it.”
“Boy!” his mom exclaimed. “I swear you and
your father are two peas in a pod. That man gave me the run around for almost a year. It wasn’t until I told him I was moving to Africa, that he got himself together and proposed. He was going around talking about we were friends, when we spent every waking moment with each other if we could. My dear boy that is not just friends. That’s an investment into something more. I hope those blinders come off your eyes, because you’re going to lose that woman and I’ll be honest because I love you. I would not blame her.” She exhaled and finished, “Well, I have to go baby. Kanye has the mic now.”
Beatrice Sinclair hung up the phone on her son, while he sat on the side of his bed in utter shock. He had no idea what his mom was talking about or referring to. His dad told him that he and his mom were friends and then they became lovers. He said that was what did not happen with Vivian, she just started out as a lover and usually even when the sex is great that is never a substitute for real and true love. His dad said that his mom threatened to go to Africa, but she did not know he was going to go right along with her. As kids, the three of them thought that was the funniest situation. However, if what his mom says is right, then his body was telling him it was no longer funny.
Shane laid down in an attempt to sleep, but his mind kept working, his chest was hurting and he was restless. After several hours of tossing and turning, He looked at the clock, saw it was two in the morning and knew he would get no rest. Dressed in pajama pants and nothing else, he went into his office and tapped the computer keyboard to wake it up. He'd meant to look up the pictures earlier, but since he was wide awake, he typed ‘Diamond Reeves and Shane Sinclair’ in the search field.
It seemed like a million pictures popped up of them. He noticed the pictures at the beach and clicked to enlarge them and there she was with his arms around her lower back leaning on a black sedan. Her hands were on his chest, spread out displaying the white colored shirt between each of her mocha fingers. Shane could not see the look on her face, but he did see the look on his.
Damn.
Shane stalked back towards his room, grabbed some jeans and a t-shirt. The awards show was in the city, so she should be home by now and he hoped she did not have to work on the weekend. He actually did not care, he had to speak with her and that was the priority.
Driving through Northwest DC at almost three in the morning was a breeze, because all of the red lights were flashing and nearly nobody was on the road. Once he arrived at her apartment, in record time, he commenced to banging on the door. Shane did not care about waking the neighbors or even waking the dead. He had to speak with her at that moment.
After five minutes of knocking, dread started to seep in as he prayed to God she was not out with Jefferson. They were on a date and if any date had a woman dropping her panties, it would be an awards show. Shane scolded himself for thinking that way about her, but did not know what else to think. He was literally banging on the door and she was either really good at ignoring him or she really was not home.
He called her cell phone several times and as the dread took over, he hit the door one last time. That’s when he heard movement in her apartment. The door unlocked and more dread entered as he thought of the other scenario, that she was the one with the company.
The large wooden door slowly cracked open as he saw a short figure in white come into view.
“Shane?” Diamond questioned in an alert voice.
“Can we talk? We have to talk,” Shane rushed out.
“It’s almost three in the morning, Shane. This couldn’t have waited?” she asked.
“No, it can’t wait. Diamond, can you open the door, please? We need to talk now.” He almost pleaded.
“Okay.” She shut the door and unlatched the chain.
When she opened it all the way, he walked in and saw that she was in a long white robe that came to her mid-calf. She had on sandals that squeaked when she walked as if they were wet. Figuring she just got out of the tub or shower, he realized that she would not have heard him banging or calling. Then it dawned on him.
“Are you just getting home?” he asked.
Diamond raised her eyebrow at him and asked, “Is that why you were banging on the door to see if I just got home?”
He sighed, then admitted, “No, love. We need to talk.”
Shane ran his hands over his short haircut. Frustration seeped through his body as he didn’t even know where to begin. His chest still ached, his tongue was sticking to the roof of his mouth and his throat was scratchy like he was coming down with a virus.
“Look,” he started, but Diamond cut him off.
“Look what, Shane.” She put her hand on her hip and grounded out, “You come banging on my door at three in the morning after I haven’t heard anything from you in over a week. You walked away from me because you didn’t want to talk then, but now you want to talk. So I need to stop what I’m doing right now to talk with you. What, pray tell, do you want to discuss, huh? Why I don’t want to be friends? Let’s see. Isn’t it selfish of a friend to interrupt the other’s evening because they want to get something off their che…”
“Wait, wait one goddamn minute.” Shane took a step towards her. “Did you just call me selfish? You up and completely cut me off, because some guy tried to embarrass you, which you opened yourself up to, I might add. Then when I confront you about it, you say we can’t be friends. But I’m selfish?”
“Excuse me!” She put her other hand on her hip, the top of her robe opening enough for the tip of the cleavage crevice to peek through. “I opened myself up for that?”
“Yes.” Shane closed the door and stepped towards her again. “Yes, you did. You shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t. He wasn’t addressing you. I wouldn’t have addressed him.”
“Right, exactly. Well, everyone doesn’t walk around moping for three years, because your best friend, the media, was talking about you behind your back. I mean, come on, Shane. That is our job, to make biased and unbiased opinions. We get paid more when they are biased.”
Shane's entire face felt hot as if a fever had come over him from her words. She was calling him immature and petty. He bent down in her face and said, “Come again, love? Say that again? You have something to tell me. Go ahead, clear the air.”
Diamond stared up at him with unadulterated frustration causing her to be tense and hyper-focused on him. Her eyes bore into his, when she replied, “I already said what I have to say. You were the one that wanted to talk.”
“Fine! Then, I’m telling you now. Forget the friendship, forget football, forget the media, forget the reporters and all of that shit. It’s just you and me. What do you say about that?”
“I have nothing to say about that, Shane.” She straightened her back and looked away.
“Nothing, huh.” Shane put both of his hands on her wrists and put them in the air as he turned to back her against the door.
“Shane,” she faltered.
His forehead came down to connect with hers, then he said, “Nothing, love. Huh?”
“What are you doing?” her breathing was growing heavier as she inhaled and exhaled.
“I’m not doing anything.” His lips grazed hers. “Nothing, right. Since you have nothing to say about it. Should I assume there’s nothing between us?”
Diamond did not answer, just kept breathing and staring into his eyes. He nipped her lips with his teeth, causing her to whimper a little.
“Shaaanne,” she sighed.
“Love?” he murmured right before he placed his lips on hers.
She gasped, granting him entry into her mouth. He slipped his tongue in to meet hers as their simple kiss turned frantic. He let go of her wrist and wrapped his arms around her body in a tight embrace, lifting her off the ground. Diamond slipped her arms around his neck as she cupped the back of his head, pulling him in further towards her. She moaned her approval, causing him to pick her up with her legs swinging around his waist.
He held her against the door enjoying the exploration of th
eir first kiss and her legs wrapped snuggly around him in a perfect fit. He led them to the bedroom, where he immediately laid her on the bed and begin to extend that kiss. It resembled the feeling that happened when one goes from riding a bicycle to taking their first ride on a motorcycle. Two very different beasts and one required serious concentration and were more delicate.
“Shane,” she whispered, when he slowly removed her robe and his tongue explored the valley of her stomach.
His exploration continued as he tasted her sweet core and brought her to a full climax. Diamond’s sounds went to Shane’s head as he quickly tore his clothes from his body to fully enter into hers. The warm welcome almost had him release earlier than expected.
“Diamond,” he moaned as he eased into her sweet body. “Love.”
Her grip about his neck tightened as the walls began to squeeze, letting him know she was there again. This fact spurred him on and his climax followed hers.
12
The Next Morning
Diamond woke up to the delicious smell of bacon and coffee assaulting her senses. As she sat up in the warm bed, her stomach rumbled with an earnest request to get to the food. Swinging her legs over the bed, she felt a twinge in her side and in her lower region. Then memories from the night before rushed in like a mighty wind as her body become alert from every place he'd touched. Her fingers trailed her neckline, reminiscing on his mouth lingering there. This recollection caused her to jump up and rush to the bathroom to make sure she did not have any love bites.
Fortunately, there were none that were visible with clothes on. Shane did, however, manage to put some on her stomach, her hip and inner thigh. As Diamond looked up into the mirror, she realized her teeth were showing in the biggest smile she’d seen from herself in a while. She could not remember a time when she felt like this, even with Cliff. Everything was very contractual and he did not make her laugh or feel remotely satisfied and sated as she did at that moment.