I followed Reese and Gracie into the back yard where the boys were all gathered around a large fire, whooping and hollering the way boys left to their own devices often do. As soon as Logan caught sight of Reese, his expression turned serious and he moved quickly away from the fire, walking toward her. Or, should I say prowling?
She smiled widely, her steps growing quicker. It was really nice to see how in love the two of them were. It was inspiring - it made me think of Kyle - it made me want him.
Reese threw her arms around Logan’s neck as he picked her up into a warm embrace. His voice was low and growly as he asked. “Did you like the cake?”
She tipped her head back on a sigh. “So good.”
He chucked, pressing his lips quickly to her exposed throat and she giggled. “I’m happy you had fun, city girl. Come sit with me by the fire. I brought a blanket.”
“Of course you did.” She sighed lovingly and I couldn’t help but smile as I watched them.
Looking away, my eyes instantly found Kyle. He was standing with his hands in his pockets, staring intensely at me. The heated look in his eyes made my body warm and my blood flow.
It was hard, breaking the connection, but I did. When I looked to the snow, I felt chilled almost down to my bones and I shivered, hugging my arms around my frame.
Gracie leaned into me. “I know you saw that, Kami. That look in my son’s eyes, that was how a man looks at the woman he wants.”
I blushed, blinking up at her. Before I could say anything, Kyle was standing beside me. “You should come stand beside the fire, Kami. You’re bound to catch a cold wearing that thin jacket out here like this.”
Gracie nodded mischievously. “You should listen to the man.” I knew the look in her eyes was saying ‘see, he wants you’ and I just didn’t know how to react to that, because with every fiber of my being, I wanted Kyle, too. But he said nothing would happen between us until marriage - and that was just too much commitment for me right now. Maybe, just maybe, I could change his mind.
Tearing my eyes away from Gracie, I nodded to Kyle. “Yeah, it’s pretty chilly. I think the fire’s a good idea.”
His hand found my lower back, guiding me gently across the packed down snow to the fire. Reese was standing in front of Logan, cozied up in a large blanket with his arms around her - but her eyes were watching me with Kyle. I could only imagine the smug thoughts rolling through her wayward brain. I adored Reese, but damn, the woman was determined to dig up the goods on a relationship that was still very rocky and new and might not even exist at all.
Kyle stopped walking when we got closer to the fire, leaning down, he said. “We were going to roast hot dogs - you know, have the first cookout of the year.”
“In March, with snow still on the ground.” I laughed. “You guys are so hick, but I love it.”
“You do?” He asked gruffly. At the sound of his voice, I found myself looking up into his intense chocolate eyes.
I nodded, feeling breathless the way Kyle often made me feel. “Yeah,”
“Good.” The corner of his lip curled into a half-grin. “I’ll go grab a stick and some smokies.”
“Sure,” my heart felt so impossibly warm as I watched him walk away. Suddenly, there was a body standing at my side and I glanced back. “Hey Luke.”
“What’s up?” He asked, rocking on his heels.
“Not much.” I frowned at the awkwardness.
“I hear you’re going on your first mountain climbing trip in the beginning of May.”
“I am?” I raised a brow.
He shrugged. “If it’s nice enough, that is. Kyle would never take you out if he thought there was a chance you’d encounter any danger.”
“Oh,” I tried to hide my frown. “When does Kyle usually start climbing?”
“Early April, usually.” Luke replied and I nodded.
“But he doesn’t want to take me out that early?”
As though sensing my trail of thought, Luke rubbed his brow. “Uh, I probably shouldn’t have said anything, Kami. I just figured I’d come talk to you as I haven’t seen much of you and Kyle talks so highly about you - actually, you’re kind of all he talks about.” He stared straight into the fire. “He just doesn’t want to put you into a situation where you’re in danger of being hurt.”
Wow, this man jumped from topic to topic so fast I nearly had whiplash. “I’ll talk to him about what I’m ready for and not ready for.”
Luke raised his hands. “He’s the experienced one. It’s his call.”
“What’s this call?” Kyle asked, reappearing at my side with smokies and two sticks. He handed me one, raising his brow at me as Luke walked away, shaking his head.
“I hear you’re planning on taking me out to climb in May?”
He nodded. “I think you’re ready.”
“Why not April?”
His jaw tightened. “Sometimes, that kid has a big mouth.”
“You don’t think I can handle April?”
“If you want, we can take a couple days out to hike in April, maybe do some easy climbing trails, but we’re not doing anything dangerous while the terrain is so unpredictable with the changing seasons.” His eyes were matter of fact and I decided that this was really not something I wanted to argue with. However, I did want to take a few days for hiking. Actually, I just wanted to spend time with him. Alone with him.
“Okay, I think I’d like to try some hiking in April though.”
He nodded, looking surprised. “Sure.”
I grinned, placing my smokie in the fire. He’d thought I was going to argue, but I was done fighting it. I was done fighting this. I wanted him. I wanted Kyle. I just didn’t want marriage. Finding a way around that shouldn’t be so hard. He was, after all, a man.
Chapter 13
We’d been standing outside by the fire for a good hour by the time I turned to Kyle. “I think my fingers are going to fall off soon.”
He frowned, looking surprised. “You’re cold?”
“Very.” I shivered.
“Why didn’t you say something sooner?” He glared, already turning away from me to go into the house. I waited, startled, for him to return. When I saw he had a blanket in his arms, I almost shrieked with joy. “You want to sit?”
Collin hooted from the other side of the fire. “You can come sit over here in my lap, Kami. I’ll keep you warm.”
I blushed and Reese rolled her eyes. “Are you on a mission to get beat six feet under by one of your brothers, Collin?” She looked at me, shaking her head as she wore an incredulous expression. “Seriously, he tried this crap with me too.”
Logan announced. “Only then, Kyle thought it was amusing.”
“Not anymore.” Kyle’s voice was gravelly and tense.
Collin leaned back in his chair, grinning. “I’m just sayin’ Kyle’s doing a lousy job of keeping his girl warm. If he doesn’t do it, someone else will.”
“Ah shit,” Luke bowed his head to hide his grin, and beside me, Kyle stiffened.
Kyle was pretty chill, but I didn’t want to cause any sibling rivalry and with the way Kyle was glaring, his jaw grinding, I knew he was angry.
I shook my head at Collin. “I think I’ll stick with Kyle, but thanks for the offer.”
Linking my arm through Kyle’s I tugged him to a chair that had been brought closer to the fire. There was only one left - I had a feeling Gracie neglected to bring out an extra one on purpose. Reese and Logan were sitting together, sharing their chair and Gracie was playing cupid. She wanted me to sit with Kyle.
Kyle gestured to the chair. “Take the chair, Kami. It’ll be warmer if you sit with the blanket around you. I don’t mind standing.”
Glancing at Gracie, I saw her nod encouragingly. Seriously, for a mother, she was a pushy little cupid.
Looking back at Kyle, my heart was pounding in my chest and I thanked the heavens above that the rest of the group had started picking on Collin for his Casanova ways. They weren’t p
aying much attention to us. I hugged the blanket for bravery. “We could share the chair - if you want?”
Kyle’s head tipped forward as his eyes tried to catch and hold mine. “Are you sure?”
I nodded. “Why not?”
“I didn’t think you would be comfortable with that.”
“I’m very comfortable with you, Kyle. You know that.” I replied softly.
He swallowed. “Sure.” I watched him sit in the chair, looking up at me as I stood, awkwardly for a moment, before lowering myself onto his lap.
Kyle’s hand slipped around my stomach, pulling me tight to his chest as I fixed the blanket around us. His legs were spread on either side of mine and I wiggled back a bit, trying to get closer to him. He was warm.
Kyle hissed in a breath and I knew, by the hard bulge at my back, that he was aroused. I wiggled again and he tipped his head, his lips close to my ear. “Are you trying to do that?”
Innocently, I blinked back at him. “Do what?”
He frowned, clearly confused and I turned back toward the fire, grinning to myself.
Kyle spoke again, his voice low. “Why didn’t you deny it?”
Now, I was confused. “Deny what?”
“Collin called you my girl,” his hands spread wide over my stomach and I fought my shiver at his dominating touch. “Why didn’t you deny it?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“You do know, love.” He argued. “Please, tell me.”
Snuggling back against him again, I replied honestly. “It sounded nice.”
“It did.” Kyle nodded, his chin close to my temple. “Does that mean you’ve changed your mind?”
“About what?”
“Us - being more than friends?”
“Should we really have this conversation here?”
“I don’t see why not.” He replied matter of fact.
“It’s not private.”
“It’s private enough.” He stated. “No one’s listening.”
Hmm, private enough, huh? I feigned a mini stretch, wiggling my backside against him once again and his legs tightened around my hips. He growled, “Keep it up, sweets, and I’ll be forced to take you home.”
“Really?” I wiggled again.
“Really.” He replied, all threat.
“And what will you do to me when you get me there?” I shifted, pressing my bottom into his erection again.
“I’ll make you come.” A rush of heat bloomed in my lower belly at his words spoken so roughly, with so much desire, in my ear. “I’ve wanted you for too long, Kami, make your choice. Do you want me to take you home or not?”
Suddenly, I wasn’t so cold. “I want you to take me home.”
He nodded. “Stand up, sweets.”
I complied, watching him as he stood with me. He announced, “I’m going to take Kami home. We’ll see you all tomorrow.”
Gracie’s eyes glittered and I blushed fire engine red as I asked hesitantly. “Do you want me to take your blanket inside?”
“No, just leave it there and I’ll take it inside when I go.” She winked and I swore my face got even redder. “You two drive safe.”
Kyle nodded and I looked in every direction but at Reese. I knew what I would see in her eyes and I wasn’t ready for it. Kyle crooked his head down, his hand settling against my lower back. “I want you beneath me, Kami, in ways I’ve never wanted a woman before.”
“What ways?” I gasped, my voice barely audible over the crunching snow beneath our feet.
“Every way.” Kyle’s eyes glittered as he paused by his truck. Opening the door, he lifted me into the passenger seat. “Think about this, Kami. About what you want, because I know what I want, and now that I know you’ve been wanting me just as much, I’ll never walk away from the possibility of having you again.”
Fire tore through my veins at his words and I nodded. “I know what I want.”
“Good.” He closed the door.
Kyle drove like a demon in the night over the mountainous roads of the ranch. By the time we arrived at his house, my panties were soaking wet with desire. He hadn’t even touched me - he didn’t need to. Not with the looks he was shooting me every few seconds. My goodness, this man could melt the panties right off a woman.
Kyle killed the engine, jumping down from the truck. By the time I’d opened my door, he was there, his hands were around my waist. He lowered me to the ground, but I swung my arms up over his shoulders, wrapping them around his neck. I was so hungry for him it was unbelievable. I had never, in my life, felt this way about a man. As though if I didn’t have him, soon, I would combust.
“Kami,” my name on his lips was enough to light the courage I needed within my body to slam my lips against his. A moan sounded and I didn’t know if it was his or mine - but I didn’t care. I just needed him. I kissed him, his mouth working against mine, our tongues swirling as he climbed the steps of his porch and then the stairs to his bedroom. All the while, I held on tight, my legs wrapped around his waist.
Kyle stumbled across the floor, dropping me to his bed. I listened as he kicked off his shoes before pulling mine off, allowing them to thud against the floor. Then he was over me again. His lips on mine were rough with need as he sucked my lower lip into his mouth before nipping with his teeth. A low moan sounded from deep in my throat as I tugged on his shoulders, pleading silently for his body pressed against mine. When he climbed up my body, lowering himself over me, his weight sparked a thousand explosions of desire through my every vein.
“I want,” I gasped through his kisses.
“What?” He pressed kisses along the line of my jaw and down my neck before coming back up to suck my earlobe into his mouth, between his teeth. My toes curled at the sharp pleasure pulsing through my body. “What do you want?”
“You.” I whispered a plea into the breathy silence around us. “I just want you. Need you.”
His hands moved to the hem of my shirt, lifting the material higher. He raised his head to watch my eyes and I knew he was looking for uncertainty in their depths. He wouldn’t find any. I had never been more certain of anything in my entire life.
“I want to feel you.” He croaked and his eyes glittered in the light of the full moon glimmering in the darkness, spilling in through the window like liquid silk. “I want to feel you naked. Beneath me.”
“I want that, too.”
Damn, did I ever want that - to be naked, beneath him. Every inch of my flesh was throbbing for him, pulsing with awareness and need. I needed him over me, on me, marking me, making me his. In the back of my mind, there was a nagging voice telling me that I was ruined. I had been ruined by a man before Kyle, who had hurt me, dominated me ruthlessly, and now I craved the idea of submission with the same shame I would crave any addiction.
Looking up into his eyes, so full of adoration, I felt panic spread through me - timely overcoming my desire. “Kyle,” I gasped, catching his hands to pull my shirt over my head quicker. I didn’t want to stop this. I didn’t want to turn him away from me again. I needed this - him. “Please don’t stop. Please don’t,”
Sensing my panic, he pressed his lips to mine, kissing me gently, lovingly. “Love, I’m not stopping.” He promised.
“I need,” I could hear the thick emotion in my voice accompanied by not only my desire, but by my panic - my fear. I knew Kyle heard it, too, because his eyes darkened and his touch turned even more gentle. He was afraid of my fear - afraid that he’d caused it. But he hadn’t. This was me - I was ruined.
“Shh, Kami,” he cooed, “Just tell me what you need, love. I’m here for you. I will never hurt you.”
“I know,” I slammed my eyes closed against my shame. “I need you to make me come, Kyle.” He hissed in a breath, but I didn’t open my eyes. “I need you to make me yours tonight, mark me, allow me to surrender to you and take me.”
“I’ll make you come, love.” He promised huskily. His fingers worked at my pants, pulling them down my
legs before dropping them to the floor. I opened my eyes to find him looking down at me with so much emotion in his eyes, for a moment, I was rendered breathless. “But there’s only one way I can make you mine.”
“Then do it.” I whispered. “I want to be yours. I trust you.”
“How much?” He asked.
“Completely.” I replied without hesitation, because I did trust him - with everything - with every part of me.
I watched as Kyle hooked his fingers through the lacy strap of my panties, dragging them down my legs as I undid the clasp of my bra, tossing it to the floor. I was completely naked and he was entirely clothed, but I wasn’t insecure or uncomfortable in the least. This man, the way he looked at me with his eyes, was empowering. He made me believe with only a heated glance of his eyes, that I was beautiful.
Looking down his body, I saw his erection straining against his jeans and another clenching roar of desire pulsed through my body, aching to be satisfied.
His voice was gravelly when he spoke. “You’re so beautiful, Kami. Every inch of you makes me want to drop to my knees.” He reached behind him to tug his shirt over his head and I marveled at how wondrously crafted his body was - so perfect. “I’ve never met a woman I want to lose myself in, Kami, but I’d willingly lose myself, all of myself, in you.” His hands dropped to his jeans and my sex throbbed with hot anticipation. “In all your imperfections, despite the toxicity you believe you carry, you’re flawless.” My heart knocked in my chest, my bodily yearning and emotional hope melding together to create a bomb of sensation only seconds from detonation. His pants dropped. “You’ve been wounded, Kami, but all I want to do is heal you, build you up, and prove to you that you are perfect. Because right now, in my eyes, and every other moment before this one, all I see when I look at you, is complete perfection.”
I watched as his hands dipped into the band of his boxers, tugging them from his waist, exposing his long, thick erection. His words, accompanied by his actions, set loose a dam that had been cracking for a while. Tears burned behind my lids as emotion throbbed in my chest, climbing up my throat.
Reaching to him, I pleaded. “I need to feel you.”
A Safe Surrender: A Donnelley Brother's Novel (Donnelley Brothers Book 2) Page 11