by Zoe Dawson
She felt the hot, spiraling sensation, and she rocked into Tank, increasing the pleasure and the friction. She pressed down on his erection hard and deep, and came on a soft, shivery moan before collapsing against his chest.
“So fucking beautiful,” he said raggedly.
She locked her arms around his neck, locked their bodies from chest to thighs. She could barely breathe as she pressed her mouth to his, kissing him with each roll and glide of her hips against his.
He gripped her hips, but his big, warm hands let her set the pace. Shameless felt damn good. His thighs tensed beneath hers, his stomach muscles rippled. His groans and deep moans increased with her tempo. Grabbing his thick hair in her fists, she pulled his head back and raked her teeth along his throat. Then she sucked and bit him. He bucked upward one last time, hard and strong, and his groan of surrender in her ear was the sexiest, most empowering sound she’d ever heard.
Once his tremors subsided, he tipped her back against the mattress and stared down at her with a serious, fierce look on his face. “I’d say you are pretty aware of your own power, babe.”
“Thank you for that,” she whispered, working at ignoring the glimmer of adoration in his eyes along with the emotional tug on her heart that warned her she was falling for Thorn “Tank” Hunt.
She had a measuring stick for this feeling, and compared to the lukewarm feeling she’d had thought she’d felt for her ex-husband, this was off the charts.
That might be the most empowering feeling of all.
The night was pitch black as Ruckus and his team approached the area where the bodies had been reported. He lifted his arm and clenched his fist for his teammates to come to a halt. He didn’t like this feeling of being two men down, and for the time being, he’d have to endure another SEAL dog handler until Tank was back with his new K9 warrior.
The dog handler sent Rex out, and they followed him. Showing no signs anyone was lying in wait, they approached the clear outlines of several bodies on the ground.
“Base, this is Alpha One,” he rasped into his mic.
“Go, Alpha One, over.”
“We’re approaching the kill zone. He looked at Wicked and he held up three fingers.
“We have three bodies, over. We’re checking them out.”
As Kid crouched down in sniper mode and the other’s fanned out, Ruckus, low to the ground closed the distance between him and the motionless heap. When he got there, he turned over the first man and his mouth tightened. His face had been so badly beaten, he couldn’t make out who it was. The same went for the other two dead men.
“No ID, base, over,” he said into the mic through clenched teeth.
“Chopper incoming,” Base responded.
As they waited, there wasn’t one man on his team who wasn’t wondering: Was one of these men Blue?
11
During the day, Tank worked with Bronte, and he spent his nights with Alyssa, his thoughts not far from Blue, especially now that those bodies had been found and identified. All SEAL Team Charlie members had been executed. It was just a matter of time before he and his team would be back over there, and when they found the people responsible for the deaths, there would be justice. Blue was still MIA. His absence was always felt, like reverse space, his calm presence missed at every training session, pressing against Tank’s conscience. To date, there had been no trace of him except his dog tags had been found near where he had been standing. The blast had destroyed the laces of his boot, and the dog tags nestled inside where special ops placed them during covert missions had been left behind. His whereabouts were still a mystery.
Tank was working on not letting his frustration and impatience get the better of him. For him, the status quo had been blown to smithereens both in his private and professional life. The events had both stimulated him and challenged him. Maybe he’d grown too complacent and what he really needed was a challenge. Working with Bronte hadn’t gotten any better. In fact, she seemed to be even more contrary and had snapped at him a couple times. He kept remembering his ease with Echo, how well they had been together. The more he felt like he was failing with Bronte, the more he thought about Echo. He called Lackland several times to find out about his health. Once he was told Echo was out of the woods, Tank stopped calling. He had to do this cold turkey.
But Echo was his way of getting through those sessions, and the more that Bronte fought him, the worse it got.
He was at his locker, getting changed so he could get home, shower and change to go with Jordan to meet his new doctor. After many tests and still no definitive answers, it was frustrating as hell. Just as he closed and locked the gate, Ruckus walked in. “Hey, we’re pulling out at in an hour. Got a lead on Blue.”
Tank swore softly under his breath. “LT, I need to talk to you. It’s about Jordan.”
“What’s up with him?”
“He’s sick. They don’t know what’s going on yet, but he’s meeting with his new doctor today. I want to go after Blue. It’s killing me to ask this, but I need to be there from my brother.”
Ruckus shifted and went thoughtful, his understanding tempered by his orders. Wheels up was wheels up. “I can delay for about half an hour, but your ass needs to be on that tarmac by then.”
“That’s enough time. Thank you!”
“Thank you? What happened to my Tank…you going soft?” Ruckus smiled.
Tank shook his head as Ruckus left.
He raced to the hospital. Jordan looked up when he walked in, his face showing his surprise. “I didn’t know you were coming,” he said. Then they both turned at the sound of Dan’s voice.
“We wouldn’t miss being here for our broski.”
Jordan took a breath and looked away. “Thank you for coming…I’m pretty scared,” he admitted. “So many tests and no answers. It’s getting old.”
“Yeah, we’re right there with you,” Tank said. “We’ve always been. I might not have shown it, Jordan, but I do support you. I was just trying to keep everything together. Our parents were no help at all, they lived the gang lifestyle, high most of the time. When Dad caused Jelsena’s death, I thought it was up to me to keep us all safe. That’s all I could focus on.”
“You don’t talk about her at all,” Jordan said. “I’ve always wanted to know more. I was pretty young when she died.”
“Me, too,” Dan said. “I do remember she loved to sing and she had the best smile.”
Tank smiled, remembering his sister not as a tragedy, but as she once was. “She was sweet, funny, and loved roses. She’d shove her nose into one any chance she got. She was pretty awesome.” As he talked the pain of her death eased more and more. Sharing her with his brothers was what he had needed. He just hadn’t been aware until now.
Two weeks after he’d slept with Alyssa, he decided to go back to the basics. He projected calm, kept his cool, and they practiced, practiced, and practiced some more. He worked her hard for an hour, but by the end of it, he was beginning to think she was not the dog for him. “Good girl,” he said, trying to project a positive mindset. The navy-blue tug that he’d used after almost all of his sessions with Echo as a special treat was in his back pocket. He went to reach for it, but then stopped. Rewarding her for her behavior today wasn’t procedure. The tug stayed where it was. After he kenneled her, he saw Alyssa at the gate.
She handed him a bottle of water. “Hey, you looked like you were struggling out there.”
The last two weeks with her had been eye-opening. Damn, but she was intelligent and funny. There were times when he couldn’t wait to get to her, to touch her, hold her and make love to her. Yet, right now there was a strained silence between them. He really needed to be alone to think this out. The Navy wasn’t normally accommodating when it came to dog handlers. They expected him to handle the situation and train the dog. This whole situation with Bronte had yanked him up short, and with Blue, Jordan, and Alyssa heavy on his mind, he needed time to assimilate it all. “I don’t think she’s
the right dog for me.” He looked off into the distance, opened the bottle, and took a long pull.
She shaded her eyes and looked up at him. She leaned back against his truck and folded her arms. After a moment, she said, “I think you’re selling yourself short.”
He rolled his shoulders. He was done for the day, a heavy training session with his teammates, range time, and hitting the gym all taking its toll. He needed a shower and something to eat. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”
Alyssa gave him a level gaze. “Tank, you quit on her before you even started working with her.”
He stared at her, then looked away and exhaled heavily. He looked back at the kennels, the dusky quiet perforated by the sound of chickadees. He considered Alyssa’s comment, then let go another exasperated sigh. “That’s not true. I’ve been here every day since she was assigned to me. I’m making a rational decision. Not every dog works with every handler.” He unlocked his truck door and decided that he would withdraw from this discussion before he let the irritation building inside him bubble up. He needed to decompress. “I’m going home to shower and change. I’ll see you later.”
He got in his vehicle and resisted looking in the rearview mirror. Her assessment stung, just as Jordan’s words had stung when he’d been confronted about being sick. It drove it home to him that he had made mistakes with his brothers. Working hard to keep them safe was rooted in his unresolved feelings regarding his little sister’s death. There was a reason he’d tattooed her name on his arm. He never wanted to forget that she had died because of neglect and recklessness. Once again, he realized that he hadn’t exactly been supportive toward them. When he pulled in his driveway, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. Bronte was an exemplary dog. Why was he having such a hard time with her? He was a seasoned handler. It should have been an easy transition. But nothing was easy with the loss of Echo. He felt his partner’s absence as keenly as he felt Blue’s. He was relieved that Echo was recovering, but there was this ache he couldn’t seem to make go away.
He swallowed against the tightness in his throat. He had to stop thinking about Echo. He was no longer able to serve, and he was retired now. Someone would adopt him, and he’d live his life out with someone who loved him. He deserved that.
He clenched his jaw and tightened his hands on the wheel. He wanted to be the one to adopt Echo. You can’t. He needs someone there for him twenty-four/seven and your schedule is too unpredictable.
Out of nowhere his throat closed up with a painful cramp and his vision blurred. He was trying to be rational, but he hated the truth when it came to Echo. He had to consider the needs of his furry friend and not be selfish about it. Yet he couldn’t shake the sense of being incomplete.
Suddenly, the scene played out once again: Echo discovering the insurgent, his shouting, Echo streaking across the compound, then the explosion, blacking out and coming to with Echo’s high-pitched cries filling his ears. Pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes, waiting for the memory to settle, the fear and helplessness surging back, he attempted to reel in his emotions. Could he have done anything differently? He reached down and released his seat belt as he heard a car come to a stop behind him.
Alyssa wasn’t about to let him get away with this. She got out of her car and slammed the door. He was halfway up his walk, his strides clipped. Damn him and his obstinance. “Tank!” she said. “Don’t you dare walk away from me.”
“Give it a rest, Doc. I’m done for today.”
“No you’re not,” she said. When she reached him, she grabbed his arm and spun him around. “This is what it’s going to take to get back into shape. You’ve got to work with Bronte! She’s ready. You’re the one holding her back.”
“No, dammit. We don’t mesh and I’m not in the mood to discuss this anymore.”
“Thorny?”
Tank stiffened and turned around.
“Becca?”
Alyssa took in the small, beautiful younger woman dressed to the nines in designer clothes.
“I haven’t heard from you in a while. I was worried. I wanted to talk to you about Jordan.”
“I’m fine. Jordan is doing all right, everything considered…” He trailed off.
“How is Echo?”
“He’s recovering.”
Her eyes welled and the surprise on his face said it all. She clutched his forearm, giving Alyssa an anxious look. “Now isn’t a good time, Tinkerbell.”
Tinkerbell?
He had a relationship with this woman, and everything in her tightened, a bad case of the green-eyed monster stabbing at her.
She gave Alyssa another anxious look and nodded. “Would you call me?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.”
He opened his front door and went inside. Before he could shut it in her face, she inserted her boot. He let out a breath and let go of the door. She came into the foyer and shut it behind her. No reason to give his neighbors a show.
“Who was that?”
He didn’t say anything, just gave her that flat, annoying Tank look.
“Are you seeing her, too?” She couldn’t keep the distress out of her voice. Here she was putting her heart on the line by getting involved with him and he was already involved. When he set his hands on his hips and looked as stubborn as all get out, she realized that she wasn’t quite strong enough to deal with a man who slept around. It was true that he hadn’t made any promises to her. She should have gotten it straight. “You’re right. I should go,” she murmured.
She turned, and he grabbed her arm and spun her. “It’s not like that. She’s not my girlfriend. We just hang out in between deployments. She’s a rich little daddy’s girl who used to get me off.”
She huffed out a breath.
“It’s mutual. It’s all about me being a SEAL. She’s a strap hanger, a groupie, Alyssa.”
“I see. You don’t like change and she does it your way.”
He dragged her against him. “You challenge me.” He hit the back of his head against the wall. “Every day, all the time like a freaking drill instructor.”
“Oh, how flattering.”
“It’s not her I think about. It’s not her I want,” he ground out. He closed his eyes. “I wouldn’t hurt you like that.”
Her heart melted at his passionate tone. God, she was showing how insecure she was when she knew Tank wouldn’t do that to her. “You wouldn’t. I’m feeling a little stupid right now. So, I’m sorry I accused you of that.”
“It’s all right. This whole thing is making us both crazy. I’m just not sure about Bronte, Alyssa. It doesn’t feel right. We don’t mesh.”
“That’s not true. She’s trying and you’re not. She’s never going to be Echo, Tank.”
His voice got thick and his eyes went moist and she felt like a hard-assed bitch. Damn, maybe she was being too hard on him.
“You don’t understand. I love Echo, he’s part of my family! I don’t know how to do this again,” he shouted.
She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m sorry. That was so insensitive. Please forgive me. I’m just trying to get you to see that you have to find a way to get past this, for yourself and for your team.”
“I’ve been with Echo for ten years, ever since I came into the program.” He swallowed. Before her eyes, this big man disintegrated. “He saved us; he gave up everything, almost lost his life.”
He buried his face in her neck, his skin damp against her throat, his mouth pressed just under her chin, his hair a silky slide against her jaw. Her resolve broke. The hard part of her that refused to give in, gave in, caved, crashed, tumbled. Serving together had broken her marriage, and she’d been gun-shy for so long. Getting involved with a SEAL, one who wasn’t even in the army where they could at least try to get postings together, it seemed so impossible, but none of that meant anything. The feel of him beneath her hands felt so damn good. Before she knew it, he spun he
r, his mouth hot against hers, backing her up against the wall, devouring her lips as if he was going to eat her alive.
His mouth even after two weeks was so familiar, the way he kissed her driving home that he was telling the truth. Tank was an honorable man. And he lived his life by that creed. She had always been aware of it, but she had never really thought about it. Now that she had, she realized it was one of the traits in him that she respected most. And she recognized that he measured everything by that.
Feeling as if she had just stumbled onto something very significant, Alyssa wondered how his sense of honor had affected them. As long as she had known him, he had been upright and honest in his dealings with everyone. She doubted if he had ever betrayed anyone—certainly not his brothers. Never his fellow SEALs and certainly not her—
But the choice he thought he’d made on the battlefield dogged him. He’d gone to Echo as he’d been trained to do. Dog and handler were a unit. Even though he was part of a bigger team, Echo was his responsibility, and he had followed through.
But his teammate, Blue, had been lost. All these things must be pressing against him each day. Getting back to working an unfamiliar dog wasn’t like picking up a new gun. Whether Lackland or Tank’s command thought he should just soldier on and exchange one K9 warrior for another, it wasn’t Tank’s perspective. Tank loved Echo more than he could ever love any piece of his gear. Echo was a living, breathing member of their team. He’d saved so many lives that day, including Tank’s.
A funny feeling unfolded in her belly, and Alyssa straightened, the sensation buzzing through her. But what if he felt that he was betraying Echo, who she was now convinced he considered as much a part of his family and an integral part of his team? She was suddenly so aware, she felt as if she had received a deep insight into a complicated man. What if he did feel that, and what if that was why he was struggling with Bronte?
She pushed against his chest, even as he deepened the kiss, but the moment he felt the pressure, he released her. “Making love to me isn’t going to make all this go away,” she said gently.